Dang, well this is the final chapter. I mean, the last and final chapter. No if's ands or buts my friends. I am quite saddened, but this chapter made me smile to write. I find great pleasure in writing humor. :D
Special special special thanks to M E Wofford for the idea, and everyone who reviewed this little piece. I mean, really. It means a lot to me. :) I really did love getting those long reviews with the favorite lines and all.
Anywho, last chapter last chapter. Gah, sad. If ANYONE has some sort of idea at all for another collection of oneshots, tell me. I'd be really happy to write it. If I get inspired, that is. :D
Disclaimer: Heck, I think you know. Owning something as great as CBS would be just perfectly dandy and fine with me. I'd probably get a little, oh, Idk. pig headed and abusive with my power and make great stuff happen on the only best of shows. For example, Grissom wouldn't have left CSI, Jenny would have NEVER died, and Rigsby wouldn't have intrupted that moment where Jane felt Lisbon's smiling face on the Mentalist. Case, closed. Oh, and I'd stop airing really bad shows that get dropped after like three episodes. Only good stuff goes!
I watched Ziva as she read something, her eyes narrowing and widening as she read. I reached across the couch to try to get the paper from her, but she pulled it to her chest. In her other hand, she held an envelope that obviously had more papers in it.
"Lemme see." I said, and she shook her head. She kept reading the paper, and a blush crossed her face. I watched as she shoved the paper away. Playfully, I reached over and tried to grab it. She held it away from me, but I grabbed the envelope.
"Hey!" She exclaimed, and I jumped off the couch before she could lunge at me. She chased after me, and I ran into the bathroom, shutting the door and laying against it.
"Tony!" She yelled, and I laughed.
"I want to see." I said, and she huffed. I pulled a paper out of the envelope, noticing there were two pieces stapled to each other.
"Tony, I am warning you." She said.
"I know, bodily harm, no sex for a week, and no rubbing the belly. I've heard it all sweet checks, and I'm pretty sure you're bluffing." I said through the door, and she kicked it.
"Tony!" She yelled louder, and I smirked as I read the beginning of what looked like Palmers handwriting. He'd written two pages, of what?
"I think this one is for you. It's say's you scare him, him being Palmer of course."
"Read farther, I bet you will be singing a different tune." She snapped, and I smiled at her correct idiom.
"Ah ah ninja chick, I don't think-hey!" I said, reading farther. She laughed, still pushing at the door.
"I told you." She laughed at me, and I rolled my eyes.
"Oh no sweet checks, it gets better. Did you read all of what our dear Palmer boy wrote?" I asked, and she kicked the door again. I was losing ground. I pushed myself up against it, and locked the door.
"No, but I have a feeling you are going to tell me."
"It says here, and I'm quoting the young lass, 'There was one Ziva that never scared me though. She couldn't reach me, her running wasn't allowed (I swear, Tony chained her to a chair), McGee had her knife hidden in a lock box in his locked desk drawer, and Gibbs didn't allow her to leave her desk. No, a pregnant Ziva was a safe Ziva.'
"Did you read that sweet checks?" I asked, and she pushed on the door.
"I swear, I am going to kill you."
"He thinks you're safe when you're pregnant. He obviously hasn't' seen you trying to push down the bathroom door. Which, I might remind you, is not good for you right now. Stop it."
"Give me back the papers and I will stop!" She yelled, and I pushed Palmers paper under the door. I heard her grab it, and rustle it a little bit.
"Hey, don't ruin that. I might want to keep that." I said, and she growled at me.
"I do not care." She said, and I smiled.
"Yes, you do. However, your hormones are getting the better of you. What are you craving right now? I can jump out the window and be back with it before you even notice I'm gone. Although… I just told you the plan so you do know…" She laughed at me, and I could tell she was calming down.
"Give me the rest."
"Hold on. It seems…. Vance wrote something? Hm, I wonder what this says. Have you read this yet, no? Well, here's a good quote for you. 'However, after all of the crap they've been through they probably won't have any problems. Besides who gets the TV remote, what is for dinner, who gets to drive, who's on top, what furniture to buy… and then the office arguments. Hopefully they'll be able to keep it out of the office, and random escapades of sex in the elevator won't end up being resolved in my office, with a stoic Gibbs smiling condescendingly at me.' Well, that's mean. We don't fight about all of that stuff."
"But we did the elevator thing." She said back, and I felt a huge smirk cross my face.
"Oh, well. They all knew that was coming. Besides, with Gibbs throwing the emergency switch every fifteen minutes, I bet they didn't even bother to wonder where we went." I said, pushing the paper under the door to her. I heard her fold it up carefully.
"Can I come in there now?" She asked, and I turned my face against the door.
"Are you going to attack me?" I asked, and she didn't answer. "Then no."
"Fine then. Just wait until you read the rest."
I pulled out the rest of the papers, frowning at some and smiling widely at others. When I got to McGee's, however, my face took on a new look. I knew because I watched myself in the mirror for a second before opening the door carefully to see Ziva sitting against the opposite wall, a bottle of juice in her hand. I closed the door, making sure it latched, before I sat down against it. She bent her feet so they gently graced my knees.
"Did you read McGee's?" I asked, and she shook her head. I looked down at the paper, and then began to read. As I read, I made sure to watch her face. She looked away from me halfway though, and I realized how lucky I really was. When I finished, I crawled over to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, kissing the side of her face.
"I'm sorry." I said, in more of a peace offer than anything. She looked up at me, a smile on her face.
"I read the one from Gibbs." She said, and I swallowed. That would explain the smile.
"You didn't tell me you asked Gibbs permission to marry me." She said, and I shrugged.
"You didn't tell me the first thing you asked for when Kort saved you was where I was." I retorted, and she shrugged.
"I could not remember that."
"Or the fact that you were really awake when I came to see you for the first time in the hospital, and that you linked our pinkies." I said, and she shrugged.
"You were asleep. When I woke, you had disappeared." She said, and I smiled at her. I wrapped my arms around the smallest part of her body, right below her breasts, and kissed her hair.
"So, can I rub the belly?" I asked, and she hit me. She made a move to get up and I gently pushed her up by her butt. She glared at me before walking… waddling away towards the kitchen. I followed her, finding her in front of the fridge, searching for some food.
"See, I was right. You were craving something." I joked.
"I wanted the papers." She said, grabbing the box of Hersey's bars and taking one. When she turned around, I held up the envelope for her. She watched me closely, calculating if I was joking or not. When she finally decided, she took the envelope from me. I was halfway to the bathroom, ready to hide, when she figured out only two papers were in there.
"Hey!" She yelled, and I laughed as I locked the bathroom door and stood next to it waiting.
"Can I have them back? Abby gave them to me." She said, and I mulled that over.
"Can I have Palmers?" I asked, and she shoved a piece of paper under the door. I pushed the envelope back under the door, and the picked up the paper. When I opened it, I found out why she gave it to me so willingly.
Got'cha. Enjoy blank pages.
"You irk me woman!" I yelled in a joking tone.
"I love you too my little hairy butt."
That is it! Ah, the sad feeling of another story ended. Oh well, on to other fun and dark dark ideas. My muse is completely gone off the deep end and is threatening to kill me if I don't do the darker story I'm doing for Mentalist, and the place where I'm pretty sure Forever Tomorrow is going to go. But I SHALL PREVAIL!!! Muhahahaha *cough cough cough* Gahhh.
Leave me your favorite line, and favorite moment from someone elses eyes. Give me your favorite chapter too. Oh, and if you like humor and the team being just plain silly, check out the little oneshot I wrote called 'Stains and Pains'. It made me crack up giggling, a rare sight unless I'm reading reviews. :)
-Thanks, again. Izzy.