Disclaimer: Yeah. Like I own countries.

Their relationship had really started during the second World War. As they had disagreed most of the time instead of agreeing and even though Russia was a total creep, America couldn't deny the spark between them. The strange attraction that made him want to use that scarf Russia always wore in ways you didn't normally use scarves.

But Russia had a total hard-on for communism and like hell America would ever agree with anything he said. Democracy! That was what made the world turn! That was the only way to live and Russia didn't get it. Which was his problem. Not America's. He'd just ignore him until he got it. That always worked. Good ole silent treatment.

The Cold War…many of America's citizens would imagine it differently than him. They had had no idea how much sexual tension there had been. Oh, yes, they knew there'd been tension, but man! It still made America squirm in his seat remembering the little arguments they'd had when they'd bothered to talk ("We'll see just who gets their rocket up first!").

And it was such a pain. Russia always had a way to get him all hot and sweaty. And not always in the good way. So he'd always been paranoid and hiding under desks. Then imagining Russia coming in and going under the desk with him.

God, the Cold War had sucked.

Which was definitely one reason why it had ended. Another because Russia had been real lonely and like America would never turn down an opportunity. Couldn't let "Land of Opportunities" seem like a lie. There had been a lot of chances there.

There were probably some other reasons too, but it was so long ago that America couldn't really remember. All he could remember was the first 'friendly' conversation they'd had.

"I am a hero, Russia, and if we want this to work, you can't mess around with me!"

"But that is what you are wanting, yes?"

After not leaving his room for two days with Russia and learning all about the joys a little pain could bring (Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me, baby!), America had grown into their relationship. It was a little weird sometimes. Russia would make him roleplay some weird things. But it was otherwise a pretty nice relationship.


"Shall I bring out the toys?"

Couldn't they take a break? America, as strong and cool as he was, needed something romantic instead of something naughty and kinky. Even a hero needed a good cuddle!

"Listen, Russia, I have an idea. Let's not bring out the toys this time, okay? Let's just cuddle or something."

Russia had actually looked confused. "I thought you liked the toys."

"I do, but I mean, pain gets boring once in a while! You can only get whipped so many times before you need to just lay off, okay? Boundaries, Russia. Boundaries are good in a relationship. I heard that on Oprah or something." That woman was a genius. "So let's cuddle. Let's just lay here and hold each other and call each other darling or baby or something."

"I think I like hurting you better." Russia made it sound innocent too.

"Later! God, Russia, heroes need a break too. Everybody needs to be reminded they're special." Then he smiled, showing off his pearly whites that showed just how much of a handsome hero he was. "So do freaky Russians. You're special too."

Who said music soothed the savage beast? They needed a new line. Compliments soothed the weird Russian. That was more like it because Russia actually did lay down with him and all they did was cuddle. And it was really nice too. Until…

"Darling?" Russia smiled and America was reminded that Russia should never smile because he looked freakin' disturbing when he did that. Darling didn't even sound right coming from him. Instead of sweet, it made America feel like he was about to be thrown into a van.

"You know what? Never mind the pet names. We'll just lay here."