Harry Potter and the Blazin Goblet
Summer with the Dursleys
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
Harry eyes fluttered open. He groggily sat up in his bed stretching his arms groaning as if in agony. His eyes lazily wandered to the clock by the side of his bed. It was eleven in the morning. Harry shook his head surprised that his Aunt and Uncle hadn't forced him to wake up earlier.
Harry shrugged and got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom for his morning shower. As Harry finished his shower and left the bathroom he came face to face with his cousin Dudley who looked like he had been hit by a semi.
"Harry, what the hell happened last night?"
Harry just laughed.
"You don't remember anything Dud?"
Dudley shook his head.
"You were fucking shit faced. Dude stumbling around slurring your words and you even…" Harry quickly looked at the side of Dudley's face.
"Oh snap, you can still see the imprint." Harry said laughing hysterically.
Dudley's face fell; he quickly pushed the laughing Harry out of the way and looked at his face in the bathroom mirror.
"What the fuck?" Dudley shouted as he looked at the red mark in the shape of a hand on the side of his face.
Harry began to cough he was laughing so hysterically.
"Man, Karen Jennings, you totally tried to hit on her Dud. You were all stumbling and sloppy ass drunk." Harry stammered through his laughter.
Dudley's face went red as he groaned.
"Yeah, I don't know what you said, but she laid you out man. Then you just stumbled back and took out the whole card table man, just wham." Harry said making a sweeping motion with his arms.
"Is that why my knee hurts so much?" Dudley said as he paled.
Harry just nodded his head as his laughter faded to giggles.
"Great, just great" muttered Dudley.
Harry let out a deep calming breath as he brushed the tears of laughter away from his eyes.
"Seeing Sirius today, you need anything Dud before I leave tomorrow?"
Dudley reached into his pocket pulling a few waded bills. He scrunched up his face in thought.
"Yeah, carton of smokes and a case of beer." Dudley responded as he gave Harry what money he had.
"Hey Dud any idea why your mom and dad aren't being complete pricks to me?"
"I may or may not have asked them to be a bit nicer than usual." Dudley replied with smirk.
"Aww little Dudders finally likes his cousin? Will wonders never cease?" Harry replied mockingly.
Dudley let out a halfhearted laugh as he began to shut the bathroom door.
"Still a freak Potter."
"Still an ass hat Dudder."
As Harry made his way downstairs he was surprised at how well his summer with the Dursleys was going.
Vernon sat in the living room reading the newspaper as Harry wandered down the stairs.
Harry stopped. He waited for nearly a minute staring at his uncle. Vernon finally looked up from his paper and eyed Harry.
"What? Forget how to walk boy?"
Harry shook his head.
"Just confused usually anytime you say boy it is followed by some sort of order."
Vernon shot Harry an ugly sneer before burying his face in the paper again, ignoring Harry completely.
Harry stood there for a few moments before shrugging and made his way into the kitchen. As Harry entered the kitchen his Aunt Petunia was scrubbing the counters and had a herd of cleaning supplies with her.
Harry was about to make his way to the fridge, when his aunt spoke.
Harry rolled his eyes figuring he was in store for a lecture, as he sat down at the kitchen table.
"Eat." Petunia said as she placed an already made sandwich in front of him.
Harry looked at his aunt as she bustled back to the counter and began cleaning again. He then stared at the sandwich with a quizzical look.
"You spit in it?" Harry said as he pulled up one of the slices of bread inspecting the sandwich.
"Of course not." Petunia responded shaking her head.
"Did you drop it on the floor or something?"
"…It's poisoned, isn't it?"
Petunia let out an exasperated shrill "Of course not, don't be stupid boy."
"Fuck it." Harry muttered as he took a bite out the sandwich.
"Good, now Harry, I need you to cut the grass. We want to make sure the house looks its best before those people show up tomorrow to get you." Petunia said coldly as Harry ate.
Harry rolled his eyes at his aunt's emphasis on those people. Harry swallowed down a large piece of the sandwich.
"So that is what this sandwich is about. Bribery by sandwich, huh?" Harry said holding up the half eaten sandwich in his hand.
"Just eat it and then go out and cut the grass."
"Fine. I'll do it, but I demand another sandwich after the deed is done." Harry said with a grin.
"Fine." Petunia said as she shook her head muttering some about freaks.
Harry smiled to himself and shrugged before finishing off his sandwich.
As Harry made his way out the backdoor Dudley entered the kitchen.
Harry couldn't stop himself from laughing as he heard his aunt let out a shriek about Dudley's face.
Harry blew a puff of smoke from his lips and nostrils as he flicked his withering cigarette into the depths of his aunt's rose bushes.
Harry made his way to the shed in the backyard pulling open the door and dragging out the push mower. He put some fuel in the mower, started it up, pulled on his I-pod, and began cutting the grass.
As Harry wandered about the yard cutting the grass he saw a large black dog sitting in the corner of the yard. Harry grinned when he noticed it had a cigarette hanging from its mouth.
Harry rolled his eyes as he passed by the dog with the mower.
"Nice Snuffles, real nice."
The dog responded by blowing smoke from its nose.
"Five minutes, in the shed." Harry said motioning from the mower to the shed.
The dog bobbed its head up in down in acknowledgment.