I do not own House M.D. or Wild Hogs.

House walked into the diagnostics room. He sat down at the desk and began to think.

"Hey, House. What's up?" Dr. Robert Chase walked up to House.

"Nothing." House shook his head. "Thinking about taking a vacation. A road trip."

"A road trip? With who?" Dr. Eric Forman asked.

"Me." House looked at the Neurologist and the Intesive Care Specialist. "Who else? But I can't get Cuddy to let me take a bit of time off."

"Well, what type of road trip were you thinking of?" Forman asked.

"Bike." House thought of his orange motorcycle.

"Hmm..." Dr. Chase looked at Forman. "There a chance we could tag along?"

House looked at Forman and Chase.

"House, a road trip is fun when you have people accompaning you." Forman said.

House looked considerate of the idea. "You guys have motorcycles?"

"Yeah." Chase nodded.

House thought about how they didn't really look like the type to have motorcycles, but okay. "We gotta have four people though."

The trio immediately knew who to ask.


"No! No way! Absolutely not!" Dr. James Wilson shook his head vigorously. "I am not going on a motorcycle! Let alone a road trip!"

House supressed a smirk. "I believe you wanted to say that the other way around.

Wilson looked at House, thinking for a second, then set the matter aside. "No! Not going!"

"Oh, come on Wilson. It'd be a break from your cancer patients." Chase suggested.

"If I take a roadtrip, and they catch wind of it, they'll feel bad because they know they can't do any of that stuff. I can't go."

"Sap." House muttered.

Forman sighed. He knew House had a way with Wilson; something was up House's sleeve.

"Fine. We'll ask Taub or maybe the janitor who stalks you from his closet." House turned on his heel and began to leave. Chase and Forman moved out of his way.

Chase was about to laugh, but Forman elbowed him in his ribs. "Ouch."

"Shh... let it work." Forman muttered.

Wilson looked angered and flabbergasted. "House, you're making this up."

"Or am I?" House asked as he opened Wilson's door and began to limp out of the office. He saw a janitor mopping and walked up to him. "Hey, I'll give you fifty bucks if you act gay for Wilson for five minutes for me."

The janitor showed the same look that Wilson previously had, but nodded. "Fine. I need the money."

House smirked. "Give it to you afterwards, don't want Wilson to see me give it to you know."

The janitor turned around and looked at Wilson.

House began to walk down the hallway.

Chase and Forman both looked at each other. They were scared, and moved out of the janitor's line of fire. "Oh God..."

"I believe I told Cameron I haven't made a tree!" House yelled to the duo.

Wilson walked out of his office to see what the commotion was. The janitor walked up to Wilson and started to play with his tie. Wilson looked at the janitor. "How much he pay you?"

"Who? No one paid me anything." The janitor batted his eyelashes.

Wilson slinked away, "You're creepy." He began to walk towards House. "Fine. I'll go!"

House turned and looked at Wilson. "Cool. You got a bike?"


"Well, looks like you're using the five-kay I gave back for it then, aren't you?" House, full of smug-ness, left.

Wilson shook his head. He looked at Chase and Forman. "So you two are going?"

Chase nodded. "Yeah."

"He invited you two?"

"No. We asked." Forman said.

"Oh. Explains that." Just as Wilson said that, his pager beeped. He looked at it and sighed.

"What?" Chase asked.

"House just can't keep out of contact. He said that we're going tomorrow to get a bike." Wilson put away his pager.


Well, there you go.

How I got the idea, I started watching Wild Hogs, wishing that House M.D. was on, and I started naming the people as they rode out onto the residential street (having saw the movie before, Dudley's my favorite). And when I saw that House could organize a road trip with Wilson, Chase, and Forman, I laughed, and realized, Yeah. No one's written one of it. So I'll take it! Hope you enjoy it.