Head in the Clouds…
I believe in Karma.
What goes around comes around.
How can it not?
Don't the people who have been treated badly deserve the little satisfaction that the person that treated them badly gets treated badly in return?
Don't we deserve at least that?
I also believe in fate.
Things happen for a
There is a cause and consequence for everything.
It's basic history.
If I hadn't moved to aunt's house,
I would have never gone to Forks High,
I would have never met Edward,
I would have never fallen in love,
Only to get my heart broken by the bully,
He called 'Tanya'
but little did he know,
Hi, my name is Bella,
And this is my life.
I gazed out my window and sighed.
How little can life mean to everyone? Life is somewhat the base of our existence. We were given to cherish it and live it to the fullest, yet some people waste it. My aunt told me to respect life and be elated to the fact how lucky I am to be alive. It the metaphorical sense that is. After my parents died, she's been saying that a lot. I understand how lucky I am. But I believe in fate. These things we're meant to happen and no one can mess or predict the future.
Well, not that we're aware of.
I was right now in the petty class they called Trigonometry. Why study it?
That question is another to add to my daily growing list. I looked around the room and at my fellow classmates. Most of them were popping their gum and doodling on their books, like I said before, wasting life. I don't have to be a physic to determine that after this class they would go running to their other half because that's what we do in high school. So wrapped up in our emotions…people go beyond extremes to get what they want. They always have.
They would lie, manipulate, bully the person into thinking or doing something to get what they want and they usually get it. These types of people won't do well in life I predict.
And to think, people don't even stop to watch the clouds slowly pass by all day, an opportunity tragic to miss…
"Miss Swan I suggest you pay attention or I will send you to the office" Mr. Barker's voice boomed from the front of the classroom, glaring at my dazed expression. The class snickered and rolled their eyes at me. I fought back a scowl and glared at the clock.
5 more minutes and I was free.
Edward always said sum up the seconds and it makes you feel better.
My best friend, the one true person that understands me. That was one of the reasons I loved him…
I know it sounds hypercritical that I just said that all of us teenagers were crazy about our emotions…but I just know that this is what love is. It's exactly how my parents described it, but more…
I can't help but smile whenever I think of him,
My heart skips a beat when I do see him,
I feel comforted and safe around him,
I can actually picture a future with him,
I feel jealous and broken-hearted whenever I see him with Tanya.
But maybe I'm just insane.
The bell went and I shot out of the door, and right into the man himself.
Think of the devil….
"Morning sunshine, the earth says Hello!" he greeted, grinning at me.
"You watch Charlie's chocolate factory too often, you know that?" I grinned back; he nudges you to the side playfully.
"Roald Dahl is an amazing author, you should know that!" he exclaimed taking out a copy of 'Esiotrot'.
"I prefer Matilda myself." I smirked, pulling out my copy of the book.
"So what does Esiotrot mean anyway?" I asked, looking at the cover.
"Are you serious? Esiotrot. Think, Bella, think." His eyes were wide with fake shock. I thought,
I asked looking at the cover, there was a picture of a tortoise
funnily enough. Edward picked me up and spun me around,
"That's my girl, smart as a….smart person." He said, still hugging me.
"Can't...breathe." I choked out; he complied and put me down.
"That's my girl…weak as a….weak person." He said sheepishly.
"You need to get better syllables," I smirked and rolled my eyes.
"Not all of us can be Shakespeare's-to-be." He smirked right back.
"Yes but you are in the junior year, you can at least figure out a word, Edward" I tutted, laughing at him.
on saying that, we all know you're a brainbox." He laughed, I
glared at him.
I wrote my first poem when I was nine; my teacher said it was amazing for a nine-year-old. I can still remember it. I was real mature for my age, well that's what everyone seems to tell me.
The sun sets slowly,
Taking the day with it.
Another day, another small eternity.
Just after day,
just before the night.
The safest time of day, appeals to us.
We were writing about times of day and I had always loved twilight, it was the bridge at the end of the sunshine and the start of the night, some people would call it 'sunset' but its still counted as sun so it was still daylight.
The next poem I wrote was when I was 13 after my parents funeral, I let all my emotions slide onto the paper.
I'm too tired to fight
As I lay here in my bed.
I know it's foolish to think of you tonight.
For one brief thought, choosing pain instead.
And every time I do this,
I shake inside my core.
Images of you erase the numb,
But oh my god I want you so much more.
For minutes, without pain, I will remember -
Inside my head your mouth does lie.
And to your glory I will surrender
Though I've already said my last good-bye.
So you pull away and change into nothing.
I slump back and await my defeat.
My eyes, they burn, they prick, they sting,
Curling up, pains of flame without the heat.
The hole inside rips wide like a mocking window,
But I wonder if I can even call it pain.
Because without the balance of happiness I don't know
Anything but the constant of 'again.'
Ever since then I have written a daily poem to let my emotions out, it just helps me out.
"Eddie Baby!" I heard a nasally voice call out, I groaned internally when I figured out that voice.
"Hey, how are you, love?" Edward asked politely, kissing her cheek and wrapping an arm around her waist, queue heart chipping.
"I'm great, I just had Mr Letchworth and he was, like, totally calling on me for everything so I told him that I wasn't as smart as, like, boffin Bella and oh wait it's here," she sneered at me.
"Yep, I'm still here. How lovely to be of your acquaintance again, Tanya." I murmured politely, not quite as much as hateful as her, but we've always been enemies so….
go right a poem or something," she spat at me and stroked Edward's
Edward had always stayed out of our way when we fought, he didn't like arguments.
"I think I will head off, seems like I'm unwanted here…" I waited for Edward to stick up for me, but it never came. "Bye…?"
I walked off, tears fresh in my eyes. Why? Just for once why can't he stick up for me? He's a different person with her, but he's still the same. It's so annoying. Time for a poem I guess….
Love and Hate
I hate that you changed.
I hate that you're the same.
I hate that you left.
I hate how you've stayed.
I hate how I cry.
I hate how you make me smile.
I hate how I miss you.
I hate how I feel.
I hate how it hurts.
I hate that it's my fault.
I hate that it's yours.
I hate that I can't be around you.
I hate how I've lost you.
I hate how I've found out who you really are.
I hate that I can't tell you any of this.
But most of all,
I hate how I can't hate you,
Not even a little.
I hate how I still love you
Truer words cannot be spoken.
The final bell rang and I scooped up my stuff and headed for my locker. The hustle and bustle of the school hallways was at its highest point of the school day, filled with gossip and rumours most likely to be pessimistic and positively about boys.
Newton is hooking up with Jessica Stanley AND Lauren Mallory, but
NEITHER of them knows about the other!" A
cheerleader whispered to a fellow cheerleader loudly, while I was
rolling my eyes. With that being the 'Latest Gossip' by tomorrow
everyone will know about it and Mike Newton's social status will
plummet to a very low standard.
I could almost predict the future.
But, of course, no one will ever know.
"Bella!" A familiar high-pitched voice called, I could feel myself smirking at the sound. I felt two cool arms wrap around my waist for a vice-like hug.
Afternoon, Alice" I chuckled, turning around and hugging her back
myself. She rocked us side to side a few times before releasing me.
Alice Cullen was Edward's little sister. And I say the term little
not in the time sense. In actual ageAlice was 9 months
older than him but in height
lets just say Edward's
t-shirt on Alice could be a ball gown if she wanted. The girl is a
"How are you?" She asked, moving my bangs so that they looked neater. Apparently, I can't dress for shit.
"Fine…I guess…" I trailed off; looking in the direction of wear Edward and Tanya were canoodling.
"She following him like a puppy dog?" Alice guessed, glaring at Tanya and ruffling my hair. "There perfect." She mused.
and yet when she insults me to my face, he says nothing. I don't
get it, Alice." I sighed, shutting my locker and facing her.
"Bella, Edward is a guy. He may not be like every other guy in this very school but there are still genes of it. He loves you Bella, but he hasn't realised it yet. He's blinded by that goddamn fake bitch. But believe me Bella, he will." Alice fumed; smoke almost coming out of her ears.
"It doesn't matter anyway, Alice. He looks so happy with her…I would hate to ruin that for my own selfishness." I sighed looking at Edward's smile. It was so…perfect. It was like his entire face lit up and radiates around the room, causing everyone else to smile with him, even though he could be smiling at the saddest thing in the world, we would smile.
"But, Bella, please can't you see?!" Alice stage whispered, pointing to Edward looking away quickly, grimacing, and looking back all smiles again. "Can you see THAT Bella?! I bet you can! And dear god, do NOT come up with some lame excuse about 'It was probably just a bad smell' or some shit like that! If you respect my sanity you will not say that!" Alice squeaked
"Alice, you lost you sanity a LONG time ago!" I chuckled and put on my coat. She rolled her eyes and mimicked my laugh.
HAR HAR. Its SO funny! Anyway…I gotta jet" she grinned, fixing
her makeup. I smirked at her.
"Hot date with Mr. Hale?"
very one. I'll call you later!" She chirped before skipping off.
"You better!" I rolled my eyes and started to walk down the hallway, putting my earphones in my ear, having the drowning sound of 'Jimmy Eat World' fill my eyes and block out my hopeless thoughts. I felt one of my earphones being pulled out and turned around to glare.
"Glaring at me, Swan" A silky voice purred in my ear, grinning at me.
"Whatever, Cullen, I'm in a hurry so make it snappy" I smirked at him, indicating the exit.
"Well I am so sorry, please forgive me for wanting to talk to my bestest friend in the world…but if she is too busy to spare a minute for her dear best friend, who loves her so much…but of course…" He pouted and started to turn…
"Wait," I sighed, defeated. He ALWAYS knew how to get around me, no matter how angry or upset I was at him. Always.
"What is it that you want, Cullen?" I rolled my eyes and faced him.
"Well…I was thinking that we could hang out this weekend but if your scheduled is full I can be flexible…" he grinned.
"Since when have I ever had a life?" I glanced around, nervously.
"Some people are so blind, Bella, some people just won't give you a chance," he murmured.
Why can't you follow your own advice?
– Ha! First Chapter is UP!
I might be slow updating =)
But I think this is a kick-ass first chapter!