Disclaimer: not mine!

A/N: Hey all! So, as promised here is my new fic! This one is going to be longer than my last couple have been, so make sure you get nice and comfy!

A few things to know about this fic; while it does eventually earn its M rating, you'll have to be patient for that. This is both a romance and family fic, but its also pretty dramatic and sometimes even funny. It is written in 3rd person, but every now and then (but maybe not every chapter) we get to look at it from Sara's POV. I will mark where it changes from one to the other.

As always, my fic is devoted to my wonderful fiancée Maggsie, without whom my inspiration lake would dry up and fade away. Thank you, angel, you're in my heart!

And with that, I will leave you all to it! Have fun! I really hope you love this story as much as I do. :)


"This is ridiculous!" Sara shouted. She was sitting up on the gurney with her arm held out to a young female paramedic. "It's a flesh wound, I don't need drugs. It doesn't even hurt that- ah! Shit!" Her face twisted in pain as the paramedic gingerly assessed the wound.

Standing beside her, Catherine knew that her colleague must be in serious pain for her to even admit it at all. She had just gone to the Tahoe for a moment to load up some evidence when she had heard Sara's shout, 'Suspect on location!' quickly followed by a gunshot from inside the house. Apparently, the suspect had returned to the scene via the upstairs window. Now, looking at her pale co-worker, Catherine both admired her bravery and cursed her stubbornness.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but regulations clearly stipulate that any gun shot wound-"

"I don't care what they stipulate, I don't want drugs! What is so hard to understand about that?" Sara was getting agitated now.

"Sara, why are you fighting her? It will take the edge off." Catherine was afraid for her co-worker and sometimes friend.

Sara just glared at her, "Never mind. Look, lady, can't you just tell them I have an allergy or something?"

"Ms. Sidle, you're losing a lot of blood, you may have nicked an artery. Can I please just give this to you?"

"I may have nicked an artery? Are you sure it wasn't the bullet from the gun of that punk kid that may have nicked an artery? And no, you can't." She glanced at Catherine, "I have good reason, why don't you just get me to the hospital so they can get this bullet out of me and we can send it to ballistics?"

"Sara, for Christ's sake, you've been shot! Will you just let the girl do her job? You look about as pale as ice."

"No! I-" But before she could finish her sentence, she promptly fell back and fainted on the gurney.

"Oh thank God," muttered the paramedic. She strapped Sara in before she and another man hoisted her into the ambulance.

"Uhh…" Catherine looked around and then at the wounded woman. "Can I ride along?" she asked the paramedics.

"Sure. Hop in."

Riding in the ambulance was bumpy and loud. After about two minutes, Sara roused from her faint. She gestured towards Catherine, the blonde leaned down to hear her whisper.

"Cath, don't let them give me the drugs."

Catherine frowned, "Sara, the drugs will help you."

Sara shook her head, "Cath-" there was a moments pause and then, "I'm pregnant." And then she passed out once more.

Catherine sat there in shock until she saw the paramedics about to inject something into the IV connected to Sara. "Stop! Don't give her the drugs. She's uhh…" she stared incredulously at her unconscious co-worker, "She's pregnant."



"Okay, Ms. Sidle, we've run your blood tests, and I'm happy to say that we have ruled out any incurable diagnoses."

"Good. So its just stomach flu? Maybe an environmental allergy?" I knew I was bordering on babbling, but doctor's offices always make me nervous, "Or stress? Because I read a study in the New England Medical Journal that said-"

"No, Ms. Sidle, its nothing like that. You're perfectly fine."

I scoffed as I counted off my symptoms on my fingers. "I've been throwing up, I have dizziness, mild tachycardia, migraine scale headaches, not to mention my energy level is hovering somewhere around zero- I am not perfectly fine."

"You're right, I apologize. Perhaps I should have said that your symptoms are completely normal given your condition."

"Condition?" I didn't like the sound of that.

"Yes, Ms. Sidle, you are going to have a baby. You're pregnant."

The words hit me like a tidal wave. There was a roaring in my ears, my vision blurred, I forgot how to breathe.

I should have thought of it sooner, but I just never imagined…a baby? Me? There had to be a mistake. My first concrete thoughts were scattered. I can't have a child, I'm not meant to have a child, people like me don't have children. And for good reason.

Days past, nights past. I tried not to think about it. Any time I thought of being a mother, I invariably thought of my own mother. My father. The whole world crumbling down around me as it replayed in my head. The sickening screams, monstrous bellows coming down the hall, angry footsteps getting closer and closer…more than once I found myself rushing to expel whatever I had eaten that day and I knew it wasn't just the morning sickness.

It went on- for weeks. It was like something you can see out of the corner of your eye but when you look directly at it, it vanishes. I ignored it. I knew, rationally, that it wouldn't just go away. But that didn't keep me from wishing.

I couldn't be a parent. What kid would have me as their mother? Some people should be parents and some just shouldn't- I was the second kind. I wasn't the kind of person that ever got a happy ending- even if it was what I wanted. Maybe it wasn't fair or right, but I had accepted it a long time ago. Now suddenly I found my world on end.

Then the 'what ifs' began to come. What if I was a bad mother? Chances were pretty high that would be true. What if I couldn't support and provide for a child? What if there really was a murder gene? How could I bring a child into the world knowing what I knew?

The questions that ran through my brain, continued to run all the way to the hospital for my first ultrasound. I tried not to look at the screen. I didn't want to know. Even as the heartbeat, quick and steady, echoed through the room.

"Alright, Ms. Sidle. Everything looks perfectly healthy and right on track. Looks like you'll be delivering in early January. Would you like to see your baby's first picture?"


I don't know how I made it to my car, but as I sat there and stared, something came over me. A baby. My heart thundered in my ears, but this time it wasn't from shock or fear. There was a baby inside of me. The thought struck me I traced the outline of the baby- my child's head and spine. My shoulder's shook as the tears came down. I wiped them away before they reached the corners of my upturned mouth. My hand settled on my stomach.

I had never stopped to think of the good things. Before, I had never dared to dream about a happy life, a complete life, a life with the family I never had.Maybe this wasn't a condemnation or a life sentence. Maybe this was the chance to set things right. I could still hear my parents voices in my head, but they were muted and over them I could hear a different voice. Telling me things were going to be okay.

"We'll be okay," I whispered to down to my stomach. I looked at the photos again. "I promise, baby."

From then on, I was determined. We would be just fine.


Okay, I know what some of you are thinking. That just because there's a baby, this will be some flaky, sappy story. But you would be oh so wrong to think that. This fic has a lot of substance. The baby is important and gets a title mention, but there will be a whole lot more to this than that. Just wait and see!

So, did you like it? Have I successfully peaked your interest? Don't forget to review- its always important, but its especially important on the first chapter. I really want your input, but I also love to just know that you're enjoying yourself and are looking forward to more. Cheers until next time! ~Myx