One day, Pac-Man decided to write in his diary. "Bleep bleep boop," Pacman thought to himself. He attempted to write these epic words down, but then realized that he couldn't pick up the pen because he had no arms. "Beep beep bup," Pac-Man cursed.
Inky walked through the door of Pac-Man's mini-mansion and decided to take a soak in the hot tub until the others got there.
Pac-Man was tired of this old game. Everyday Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and, yes, even Clyde would come over and attempt to kill him. And for some reason Pac-Man's only line of defense was to eat two dimensional fruit and giant dots.
But today was different. Yes, after years of attempted murder, the four ghosties had a different plan to bring about Pac-Man's doom.
Pinky entered the room holding a camera. Blinky followed with a suitcase full of whips and chains. Clyde entered afterward, sporting a fancy director's hat and holding a megaphone.
"Let's get this show started!" Clyde called through the megaphone. Yes, for some reason Clyde could speak English. Unfortunately, everyone else in the room only spoke in Beeps, so Clyde had to translate his words. "Beep bup bleep boop bloop!"
Pac-Man was shocked to learn that today he would not be eaten by four colorful ghosts. No, today the four ghosties were going to make a porno… starring Pac-Man!
"Beep," Pac-Man said. Translation: "I'm honored, but I really just don't feel comfortable enough with my body to expose it on camera. Also, I believe sexual intercourse to be something sacred, and that the exploitation of it is morally wrong. I will now have to kindly ask you all to leave my home."
"Just put on the costume," Clyde said.
"This is still better than being eaten, I suppose," Pac-Man thought to himself, in Beeps of course.
Pinky and Blinky played the young college girls who were having a sleepover, which involved more pillow fights than sleeping. Pac-Man played the lusty milk man, who's only line was, "I'm the milk man and I have some cream for you." The climax of the film was when Inky entered, dressed like a mime.
"Wah wah wah," Pac-Man said, walking in his milk man costume across the stage.
"That's it," Clyde said, filming. "Strut your stuff, Pac. That's it. Gentle, gentle, now go for it! Say, can you face the camera while you do that?"
Unfortunately, halfway through the porno, Pac-Man and the ghosts realized the terrible truth: none of them actually had genitalia. This brought the porno to a bit of a halt, until Inky suggested that they could all wear strap ons.
"Excellent idea!" Clyde exclaimed through his megaphone. He tossed the several strap ons he always carried with him to Pinky. It was a bit hard for Pac-Man to put his on, as he had no arms, but he managed.
In the end, the film, called "Kinky Exposure IV," was a blockbuster hit. It even inspired a role playing video game, trading cards, and a restaurant called "Big Pac's."
If nothing else, Pac-Man's self esteem had risen considerably. He now strutted down the street, sporting a leopard print robe, proud of his body and proud of himself.