A/N: Hey everyone, this is the first, and potentially only fic, I'm gonna write for a while. My AU series Children of Torchwood is definitely finished, I did have a couple of stories planned, but before I was writing about an AU which might-have-possibly-if-you-squinted existed. Now with Ianto being killed off my AU is impossible. Which pretty much killed inspiration. If any ideas come to me (after the grieving process… yeah, I'm in mourning over a fictional character) for fics then I'll post them.

Sorry, that's a ramble, and I know that almost everyone else has posted their own fics to do with this, but please allow my fic, as it's my way of coping.

Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC, as do all characters. But if I could get my hands on it one major thing would be so very different!

Pairing: Jack/Ianto, as always

Warning: Swearing, very mild though.

Setting: At least seven months after Children of Earth. Jack is travelling around the universe after saying goodbye to Gwen and Rhys

He was in their bedroom.

Which was impossible.

It was impossible to be in their bedroom in Ianto's flat because he had packed up Ianto's belongings over seven months ago. Strangers were living there now.

Despite this unquestionable fact he still seemed to be on their bed in Ianto's flat. Looking around he tried to work out if he was definitely in that room. But he was. Everything was exactly the same. Even down to the white bedcover with the single black horizontal stripe. As he gazed at the stripe in amazement he realised that he was fully dressed, coat and everything. Including his boots.

"Shit," he muttered, because even though he couldn't possibly be in their bedroom he knew Ianto hated Jack wearing his boots when he was on the bed.

"With you stomping around in alien guts all day? No way Jack. Feet down!"

"I do not stomp!"

"Yes you do"

"Well, maybe a bit"

Just as he finished untying his left boot a voice he never thought he'd hear again laughed behind him, "You're dressed early"

He was almost frightened to look. He had missed his voice so much, but looking might show him that he was seeing things, or hearing things. Jack bit his lip and turned round anyway, the temptation to see his beautiful Welshman again when he thought he never would was too much.

He was wearing the purple shirt Jack loved so much, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and two mugs of coffee in his hands.

Jack smiled, "You're not"

"No, but I'm getting there. And Jack at least let me try and get dressed today without you attacking me and undoing all my good work"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Jack said as he accepted Ianto's coffee. Ianto sat down beside him.

The coffee tasted as fantastic as his always had been.

"I've missed this," sighed Jack.

"Yes, I thought you had. You don't drink coffee anymore, do you?"

Jack frowned, "No… how do you… do you know that you di… what happened to you?"

"That I died Jack?" Ianto took another sip and nodded, "Yeah. I know"

Jack's frown deepened, "But… are you a ghost"

"Why don't you drink coffee Jack?"

"You're avoiding answering"

"I learned that from you. Why not?"

Jack sighed, "Because it wouldn't feel right. You make coffee"

"Don't you crave it"

"Lots. I tried shooting myself a few times, see if I came back without the craving. Didn't work though. I still miss everything about it. And really, I like the craving. It stops me from forgetting. Like I said, yours is the best. I don't want any other."

"Are we still talking about coffee?"


"Ah." He took another sip.

"I miss you Yan"

"I know. But there's nothing you can do about it"

"It's my fau-"

"No it isn't Jack. Don't start blaming yourself!"

"Too late"

Ianto sighed, "Jack, I should have died three years ago"

Jack frowned again, "What?"

"I was next in line at Canary Wharf. Behind Lisa. If the Doctor had been a few seconds later in saving everyone, I would have died. Instead I rescued Lisa, and came and found you. I escaped death that time, and then so many times after that. My number's been up for ages"

Jack didn't say anything.

"So you could blame all this on Yvonne Hartman, for bringing the Cybermen to this world. Or even Queen Victoria for starting Torchwood in the first place. Or the Lupine Wavelength Haemovariform for trying to invade Earth all those years ago, which made Queen Victoria set up Torchwood"

Jack laughed.

"I'm not letting you blame yourself for this one Jack. You saved me Jack. You gave me back the meaning in my life"

They didn't say anything for a while. Jack was just enjoying having Ianto's company again.

"What are you doing Jack?"

Jack looked at Ianto, confused. "Me? I'm drinking coffee"

"Not that. What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"Oh. Anywhere. I'm just travelling"

"With the Doctor?"

Jack raised his eyebrows, "How can you know that I'm not drinking coffee, but not that I'm not with the Doctor?"

"So you're not?"

"You're avoiding answering again"

"Taste of your own medicine Jack"

Jack huffed, "No. I'm not with him"

"Go find him"

"Ianto, he's a Time Lord. I can't just find him!"

"Yeah, but he's got the TARDIS, which is telepathic. You'll find each other. Besides, you have a bit of time to go looking"

Jack frowned, but realised asking how ianto knew about the TARDIS was pointless. So he drank more coffee, "Why'd you want me to find him anyway?"

"Because you're angry with him. You're mad at him for not being there and stopping the 456. You're quite in favour of blaming him for my death. Don't by the way. And because he made you better when you were with him before"

Jack scoffed, "No he didn't. I'm still immortal"

"I didn't mean that"

Jack didn't say anything. Just gazed into Ianto's ice-blue eyes, painfully reminded that one of his last conversations with Ianto had ended with those exact words.

"Last time you were still coping with Tosh and Owen's deaths, they say hello by the way"

Jack smiled.

"The first time you went away you were only at Torchwood because you had nothing better to do. You came back because you cared. You were a better person for it. I guess all that stuff with the Master and the Valiant knocked a bit of sense into you"

"How do you know about that? I never told you, did I?"

Now that his coffee was finished Ianto stood up and rolled down his sleeves before walking to the wardrobe to get his waistcoat.

"I know everything," Ianto said quietly.

Jack stood up and walked to Ianto, he grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes. "This is a dream, isn't it?"

"Of course it's a dream Jack"

Jack sighed sadly, "But you feel solid. You feel real"

"Just like the bed feels soft and the coffee tastes good. I feel real because you want me to be real"

Jack leant forward and kissed Ianto, letting his grief and longing wash into the kiss.

"That felt real" he said sadly.

"Of course it did Jack," Ianto paused and reached for his red tie, "You've got to wake up. You're wristband's beeping"

Jack looked down. His vortex manipulator was beeping.

"I don't want to. If I wake up, you'll be gone"

"No I wont. I'll be right here, waiting for you"

"Why would I wake up then?"

Ianto smiled and finally finished his tie. It was perfect as usual, "Because you have to Jack. The universe needs you. I'll tell you what. If you promise to keep waking up, I promise to be here whenever you want me to be. Okay?"

Jack reluctantly nodded.

"Oh and Jack, just because this is a dream, doesn't mean its not true"

And then he was back in the cargo bay of the latest starship he was hitching a ride on. His manipulator was beeping. They were about to make planet fall.

He groggily got up and stumbled over to the small window in the otherwise bleak hull. He saw the approaching planet with its dense orange clouds and wondered if they were hiding a small blue box.

He sighed quietly, "I'll always want you with me Ianto Jones. You'd have loved this"

A:N/ And yeah, I cried my eyes out for two days. I'm still struggling to even watch Torchwood. The song I listened to while writing was Chasing Cars, which I've used in a previous fic because I thought it fitted them perfectly. I didn't realise how perfectly until Day 4. Just listen to the lyrics, its scary!

Also, I havent seen Torchwood since it aired, so forgive me if a couple of points aren't quite right.

Thanks guys, Kate.