made to measure

Expenses report by Ishida Uryuu for reimbursement by Crafts Club Finances:

Rubber pieces

President Ishida, there's no way I can sign this off! I have to have some sort of information on the relevant projects before I can get the money from the club finances. Please fill out this form again and resubmit. And what were you doing with the rubber forms the other day? Inoue-kun was saying something about a 'stuffed toy' but I didn't get the full details. -- Hirayama, club vice-president

In keeping with your previous request, I enclose more precise details on the project which I am currently undertaking with Inoue-san. Unfortunately I cannot enclose precise schematics due to lack of sufficient flesh tone on school computer printers and current society by-laws regarding adult-rated material (cf the situation with Asano Keigo's attempt at doujinshi production earlier this year using photos of the exchange student Matsumoto Rangiku and subsequent property damage and legal charges).

Expenses report by Ishida Uryuu for reimbursement by Crafts Club Finances:

6 metres black silk, high grade
2 pieces black leather
Black silk thread
Black silk lace
6 metres white linen, high grade
White cotton thread
White cotton lace
Whalebone pieces
Black silk cord
1 copy, The Art of Lingerie
Unspecified rubber pieces

. . . President Ishida, could I possibly see the project photographs on this one? -- Hirayama

No. -- Ishida

May I remind the President that it is Crafts Club policy to keep full documentation of projects in order to collect expenses and provide evidence of work, and that it will be somewhat difficult to explain the President's behaviour under these circumstances. -- Hirayama

May I inform the Vice-President that if these expenses are not signed off, my next project will be this fully operational and functional articulating rack with articulating manacles and turnable wheels. Gag optional. I attach diagrams. -- Ishida

You couldn't do that with needle and thread.

Try me.

I am of course glad to sign off our President's expenses. That would be for the dozen cuddly teddybears donated to the local hospital, right? -- Hirayama

That would be correct. -- Ishida

PS - please stock up on leather lacing and silk cord for next term: it may be useful in my project to knit fluffy blankets for the Karakura Old People's Home.