"Remind me how it is." I whispered into the darkness. The shadows answered me with silence, my voice hanging hollowly in the air. I can't ever remember crying for this long or this hard.
I touched myself again though the feel of my fingertips against my skin was growing stale. I needed someone so I didn't have to feel like this everyday of my life. God, I hated where I was.
I wasn't crazy. I was abused.
I wasn't abused. I was used.
I wasn't used, no, I wasn't used.
I was fucked.
Laughing at my antics, I shifted on the bed, trying to give myself another orgasm. It took a long time for me to climax nowadays. There was once a time where it as if I was back with him. It was so fresh, so new, and it felt so damn good.
After another hour, I grew tired and gave up. Fuck this. I didn't bother to put any of my clothes back on, seeing as I've been naked for days and no one came to see me anyhow. I just rolled over and closed my eyes, not sure if it were day or night.
"This is not how I wanted it to be." I whispered again. Why the hell I was whispering, I would never know. No one here cares if you laugh, cry, or scream. But they just want whoever's a freak to be locked away.
I shouldn't have said anything to my mother. I shouldn't have told the bitch what was happening to me. She thinks I've lost my mind.
Wait, I'm not stupid. If it weren't this, it would have been something else. I knew she's been looking for a reason to dump me off somewhere so she could whore herself in peace, without my disapproving glares or comments. I knew this. But somehow I thought I could trust her with just this one thing.
I couldn't do all of it by myself. Go to school, work and have visions of my best friend dying. Fuck, I couldn't do it! And then on top of that worry about how my mom was cheating on her boyfriend, James, who I foresaw killing us all.
I shivered as I remembered the last vision I had before I told my mother I had premonitions.
I saw James posed over my mother's body, her "fuck me" smile playing on her lips. James looked more then willing and grinded his hips into hers as she giggled and moaned. He licked his lips, a quick glint from his teeth making my mother's eyes open wide, as if she'd just realized something, as if something that James had been hiding from her had become painfully obvious. He'd hovered above her, now showing her every razor-sharp tooth in his mouth with a sneer as my mother's mouth opened in a silent scream, her ruby red lips forming my name. At this point, James threw his head back laughing, and said something with an incredulous look on his face. My mother shook her head over and over, now seeming to say, "You'll never find her."
James's laughter grew and he just kissed her. Slowly at first, then gaining force until it seemed as if he were chewing her upper lip. And he was. Chewing, licking and sucking the blood until my mother's struggles died down, until she was dead.
I'd tried to warn her, but she'd said I was a crazy, ungrateful little bitch who was jealous of her relationship with James. What was there to be jealous of? He's fucked me too. I shook my head, trying to forget his hot touches on my cold skin.
I stared into the darkness, wondering who my mother was in bed with right now or if my vision had come true.
Once more I closed my eyes, feeling tired because I didn't understand my vision nor did I know what kind of monster James would have to be to do that to my mother.