AN: The outtakes, that somehow turned into a story, are finished, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging, so here is Jake with some flashbacks to let you know how he and Nessie ended up. Some people don't like reading -Flashback- or -End Flashback-, so I'm going to use italics. Most of this chapter is flashbacks, so I hope I don't kill anybody's eyes.

JPOV

It was times like these that I always looked back on our life together. We had only been married a few years, and they were easily the best and most interesting years of my life. We never did things the normal way, not even from the beginning.

-

"We better get back up there before they notice us missing," I told her as I buttoned my pants.

"I can't find my other shoe," said Nessie.

This wasn't how I planned our first time as a married couple. I thought she would want it to be romantic, in a bed with candles and soft music. She insisted that there would be plenty of time for that after a post-wedding quickie and joining the mile high club on the way to our honeymoon destination.

Our wedding had been interesting. Nessie had everything she wanted, from Emmett as the officiator to Bella walking her down the aisle. As a gift to me, the ceremony was performed on the same beach where my parents were married.

"Got it," I said, picking up the missing shoe. She lifted her dress as I bent down in front of her. I slipped it back on and kissed the top of her dainty foot before standing up. To the outside world, we were still the same crazy, hot-tempered couple that fought constantly and enjoyed irritating each other to no end. If they could see the way we treated each other in private, they probably wouldn't believe it was us.

"Thanks husband," she replied with a sneaky grin. She always had mischief dancing in her eyes.

There was a loud knock on the storeroom door. "I swear, you two better not be doing what I think you're doing," Leah shouted.

"Yeah, get your asses out here, so we can cut into that cake," Felix added.

"Get the hell away from me," said Leah, talking to Felix.

I grabbed a bottle of wine and opened the door, "Relax. We just came down to find this," I lied.

Felix nodded, but Leah didn't buy it. "Nessie doesn't drink."

"It's all for me," I replied.

"Yeah, I need to get him drunk, so I can take advantage of him on the plane," Nessie explained.

"You have sex hair," said Leah.

"Damn," Nessie and I huffed. We had such a great excuse too.

"Way to go, Loch Ness," Felix cheered, so I had to smack him. He chuckled, "Alright, I'm going."

Leah helped Nessie fix her hair before we went back to join the others. My father just looked at us, shaking his head. "You defiled my restaurant."

Shit. "I have no idea what you're talking about," I replied.

The old man just laughed. "You two are lucky I love ya."

"Love you too, Dad," Nessie smiled, heading towards the cake. I sighed, as Dad winked at me, and followed her.

-

At the time, I considered that the best day of my life. Nothing ever topped it, but there have been a few to tie.

-

We were sitting on the couch, both staring straight ahead at the wall. When the little timer went off, Nessie's grip on my hand tightened almost painfully.

"What do we do?" she asked, still looking at the wall.

"I guess we look," I answered.

She shook her head. "I can't do it. Let's just go out for dinner. You want Chinese?"

"Ness," I made her look at me. "We have to look."

"No we don't," she replied. "The truth will come out sooner or later. There's some things you just can't hide."

I had never seen Nessie so scared. The worst part was I didn't know what she was hoping for. We had talked about this before, but we weren't planning for it yet. I didn't think it was a good time to remind her that this was all her fault. She was the one who seduced me. We were being good neighbors, feeding Felix's bird while he was in Vegas. He lived next to us in Bella's old house. We were only supposed to be there for ten minutes tops, so why would I have protection? It was definitely the most uniquely difficult sex we'd ever had.

"You leave me no choice," I said, standing up. "Either you look, or I'm going to eat all of your poptarts."

"You wouldn't," said Nessie, staring me down. I shrugged and headed for the kitchen. "Alright, alright! I'll look." She went into bathroom, grumbling the whole way, "I could just buy my own damn poptarts."

I don't think I breathed until she came back out, her eyes glistening. I didn't know what that meant. Was she sad? Was she happy? "What is it?" I asked nervously.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

I froze. I was elated. I wanted to do a back flip or some shit, but I had to see how she felt about it first. "Nessie?"

A huge smile spread across her face as she dropped the stick and ran to me, jumping into my arms. I laughed and spun her around. We were going to have a baby. I was going to be a dad. "I love you," I told her, kissing her over and over.

Everything was fine until I set her down. "Shit," she groaned and covered her face.

"What? What's wrong?" I was ready to rush her to the hospital already.

She just shook her head. Nothing was wrong. She had just remembered an interesting detail.

"Our baby was conceived in a ball pit."

-

Someone had once told me that we shouldn't worry, that when we had our little bundle of joy, we would know exactly what to do. They said it was instinct. They lied.

-

I stared her down. Originally, I thought she was the cutest, sweetest thing ever created. She appeared that way still, lying in her crib, chewing on her little foot. However, I knew the truth. This child was her mother's daughter. She was the devil.

"Sarah, listen to Daddy," I pleaded, holding her soft pink shirt in my hand. "I can't let you leave the house in just your diaper. You're going to get me in trouble."

She just stared back at me, still happily chewing on her foot.

As soon as I made a move to dress her, she started wailing.

It was official. My daughter was destined to join a nudist colony.

Nessie came in moments later, snatched the shirt out of my hand, and slipped it over Sarah's head.

"How did you do that?" I had been trying for what seemed like hours.

"You were thinking about it too much," she explained. "She can smell fear."

I huffed and lifted the little one out of her crib. "You just made Daddy look like an ass."

She made a gurgling noise, and Nessie kissed her. "That's my girl."

-

We may not have been the best parents, but no one could deny how much we loved that little troublemaker. She was the perfect addition to our family, full of sweet mischief before she could even talk. However, she did have a knack for waking up and crying at the most inopportune moments. In order to fuck my wife without interruption, I had to take drastic measures.

-

Nessie looked surprised when I pulled her out of her office during her lunch break. "Jake, where's Sarah?"

"She's fine," I replied, leading her outside. "Get in the car."

"What--" she started, but I yanked open the door.

"Get. In. The. Car," I said again. We didn't have time to waste.

She huffed and got in, "I swear if you're arresting me, I'll kick your ass. I haven't done anything wrong in a week."

I ignored her and sped out of the parking lot. I was suffering from a hard-on that refused to go away until I was buried in the irritating woman's body.

Nessie must have noticed my death grip on the steering wheel. "Jacob, are you okay?"

"I will be," I answered, pulling the car out of sight.

That's when Nessie realized what was going on. "Why didn't you say so?" She got out of the car without me even having to ask.

I grabbed her, attacking her mouth as I unbuttoned her pants. With those out of the way, I knelt down in front of her. I knew once I got inside her, I wouldn't last long. I wasn't selfish, so I was taking care of her first.

I was in a hurry, but I didn't rush. I savored every lick, every taste of her. Her legs almost gave out, so I had to sit her on the hood of the cruiser. She kept one hand in my hair as the other gripped the side of the car.

Finally, when she was a writhing, quivering mess, I positioned myself between her legs and slid into her with a groan. "I've missed you."

-

I had to stop thinking about that. It wouldn't do for me to get a hard-on today of all days.

It was Bailey's first day of Kindergarten. Their cousin Mikey swore she would look out for her and Sarah, so I knew we would be getting calls from Principal Cullen sooner or later.

I couldn't believe our youngest was already five. It seemed like just yesterday we trying to figure out what we would name her.

-

"I say we name her Twenty-Six," Nessie suggested. She was relaxed on the couch with her feet propped up and a bowl of popcorn sitting on her round belly. "That's how many pounds I've gained thanks to the little kickboxer."

"If we're going that route, I say we name her Seven," I added. "That's how many times you've made me sleep in the guest room."

"Wanna make it eight, smart ass?" she asked, throwing a handful of popcorn my way.

I plopped down at the other end of the sofa, pulling her feet onto my lap. Massaging her feet helped with the mood swings.

Sarah picked up a fallen piece of popcorn and threw it my way. "Hey, missy," I laughed, reaching over to grab her. She giggled as I tickled her sides. "You threw popcorn at Daddy."

She held her hands up and shrugged her shoulders. "Oops."

"Sarah, what's the baby's name?" Nessie asked her. We were getting desperate.

"Sissy," she replied.

Bella came into the room with the dart board. "It worked for my wedding. It can work for your kid."

We put our favorite names on post-its and stuck them in ransom places on the board. I got the honors of throwing the dart.

Nessie claimed it would be too dangerous for her to do it. "If I have a mood swing, you'll get a dart in the behind."

Bella grabbed the post-it that was chosen. "How sweet. You're naming her Isabella."

"Liar," said Nessie.

Bella huffed, "Fine, you're naming her Bailey."

-

Now, I stood by the car with my arm around Nessie, watching as our two little girls walked towards the building. Sarah had a firm grip on Bailey's hand, making sure she didn't get lost on her first day.

"They're going to be just like me and Bella," said Nessie.

God, help us. "I'm sure we'll be bailing them out in no time." Like mother, like daughter.

AN: That's the end! Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews and messages. Now, I'm dying to start something new. I'm warning you now that whatever I write, it won't have a lot of lemons. I really do hate writing those things. They are much more fun to read. However, my little sister is a whore, and she wants to collaborate a story with me, so you never know. (Sorry, Mads. I meant that in a good way.) I love you guys. Thanks for reading!