A/n: This is the first story I post up on . However it is not the first story I have made(; Please be kind and constructive criticism is always welcomed. I don't intend any harm in anything said or done in this story, if anything offends you, I'm truly sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, I only own my imagination.


Mom was an unstable woman. She would always say things that I never understood and I'd pretend to listen to her. She always brought a lot of men home and took away their money. At the time I didn't understand why she would do that and I didn't see how bad it really was. I really hated when she would do that, I didn't understand it but I felt it was wrong. Mom never hit me but she never cared for me, I always tried getting her attention but it was useless. It was like if she was denying my existence, I felt she didn't want me.

One day she took me to a carnival that was very far away. I was so happy that she decided to pay attention, little did I know what her true motives were..

I could hear the music loud and clear, the children running around laughing while eating cotton candy. I looked around, some kids on their father backs, having fun. I looked up to my mother who was looking around frantically. A bright red color floating through the air caught my attention, I turned around and saw a clown with balloons, I told my mom I'd be back after grabbing a balloon. By the time I got there all the balloons were gone, there was none left for me and when I turned around my mom was gone too, I was all alone.

Mom, is there no balloons for me because I'm a child that nobody wants?

I was a thirteen year old boy at a place I didn't know, and I didn't know where to go. Many times I was about to get caught by the police but I always ran away, I spent two days in the dangerous city until out of instinct and fear, I found my way back home. I hoped that my mom would be loving when she saw I was back home but instead I heard her fighting with a man and telling him that she abandoned me in the carnival. They were arguing about her cheating on him.

He got really pissed off and stabbed her, the man quickly ran away. When my mom saw me, she looked surprised. Then she started to ask for help. She told me to phone the cops for help and promised that once she got better she'd take me to the carnival.

Mom, will you leave me there again?!

Fear and something I didn't understand, took over and I ended up getting a knife and stabbing her, killing my own mother. I just stared at her, she died with her eyes open. Emotionless eyes, dull and staring right back at me.

Don't look at me! You never looked at me… don't look at me now that you're dead!

I ran and got tape, I taped all around her eyes. I got a marker and went around scribbling the eyes out of every portrait and mannequin around the house until every eye was covered.

Mommy isn't looking at me anymore, it'll be alright if all the eyes are covered…

Soon I heard the sirens of a cop car and there was loud banging on the door. They came in with guns pointing at me, but I wasn't scared because they couldn't see me, yes, all the eyes were covered.


I looked at my mother as she lay in bed, emotionless, completely dressed in black. She looked so peaceful and I wished it would always be like this, if she could stay peaceful forever. I knew it would change as soon as she woke up, she would yell at me and tell me it was all my fault that father died. Because if I hadn't told him that my mom received a call from the cop station then he wouldn't have gone to work and he wouldn't have gotten killed on duty.

I knew she was right, she was always right. It was my fault my dad had died, it was my fault my mom now suffered, it was my fault our family had broken apart. It was all my fault, and I knew it.

That day when my mom woke up she smiled at me and I was scared because I wasn't sure if I should smile back, I wasn't sure if her smile was a good thing. She got up and ordered me to go pack up my clothing. She said we were going far away and we'd be happy forever. I didn't ask her where we were going because it didn't matter as long as she smiled for me like that, as long as I could stay with her. So I packed up and we drove in her car. Soon after, she started talking nonsense and kept repeating how it would be fun and I'd love it.

She drove us away to a cabin where we were planning to come on the day my father died, before he died. She smiled and pulled me by the wrist into the house, she had a pale and very tired face.

"Bella, we're going far away sweetie, you'll love it." She said and hugged me so tight, I was sure I was going to have bruises. "You can even see your father, it'll be just like the old times and we can smile and laugh." She was stroking my hair now. "Yes, we will laugh."

"But mother, Charlie is dead. We can't see him any—" She wrapped her hands tightly around my throat and began choking me. To say I was afraid, was a huge understatement, I was truly horrified.

"Shut up!" She tightened her grip around my throat. "It's all your fault! if you hadn't said anything, if you had kept your mouth shut!" I tried to scream but i couldn't. "But it's okay, mother is so forgiving." She gave me a nasty smile. "Mother will let you come with us, and we can be happy, the three of us, laughing."

Had my mother always been so violent?

I tried taking her hands off of me, I didn't want to die yet. I blindly felt around the table until my hand grabbed a knife. I stabbed on her back and her hands loosened, but she didn't completely let go of me, I stabbed her again and she dropped to the floor. I was paralyzed, coughing and trying to breath normally again. I looked at her, she was laying in the floor, starring up into the ceiling with a huge smile in her face. She looked truly happy, as if she was thankful that I killed her.

I killed her, oh no. I killed her, I killed my own mother.

I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't fall down. Instead I stared at her as all the blood flooded out of her back. Soon her eyes glazed over. I poked her and she was cold, very cold. I just stared at her, I don't know how long I sat there just looking at her. I couldn't feel or hear anything, I could just see her blood pooling around me, encircling me, creeping over me as if trying to devour me with its crimson color.

The next thing I knew I was being pulled away from her, they were taking me away from all that I knew. My life was staying behind and I realized that it really didn't matter if my mother had killed me because my life as I knew it had already finished the day I told my father, there was a call from the station.

A/N: The chapters will definitely be longer, i hope.Hmm, if I get 10 reviews I'll post up the first chapter. I'm not doing this to bribe you into reviewing, im doing it so I can know whether this story is any good xD
So If you like it, review~