Chikane: I just felt like a oneshot! I think this is sorta sad but who knows…
Amu:Well they have to read to find out. Chikane does not own or is in anyway connected to Shugo chara.
Love and Lust
He was currently kissing me. Yes his beautiful curls were tangled with my slender fingers. This happened a lot he would come to me for a booty call. I didn't care that he had a girlfriend and this was only lust or that he never said "I love you" or sometimes whispered his girlfriend's name. My friends thought I was stupid for loving him when he didn't love me but I didn't care.
I loved when he made me moan from entering me. Yes I lost my innocence to Ikuto. I only had sex with him and never any other guy.
I screamed his name and soon he moaned at his climax. He left my body and was off the bed getting dressed. He always left after this to go back to his girlfriend. I didn't notice him leave and soon I fell asleep.
I awoke bare and in my empty bed but still I smiled as I remembered last nights scene. I showered and dressed for the day. I went to work. I am a secretary. I waited patiently for Ikuto's text message. He would always text at three saying he was coming to my house. But I got no text. But I had hope so a week went by and yet he still hadn't text but I tried to continue my normal everyday life.
Then on Sunday night I got a call from him saying he was going to come to my house that night in about 5 minutes. I looked decent so I waited.
He knocked and I answered. I smiled but noticed his girlfriend in his car and I looked at him confused. He told his girlfriend to wait for 10n minutes and she agreed so he came into my house.
"Amu." He firmly said.
"Hai?" I asked very confused.
"I am getting married to Sharon." Strange how those words tore me apart. My heart broke apart but still I smiled my heartbroken smile.
"I see. Congratulations. May you live a happy life." I faked a happy tone which he bought.
"Alright. Thanks so much Amu. I hope you have a nice happy life. Ja ne!"
As he turned to leave he didn't see my out stretched hand reaching for him pleading for him to stay. As he shut the door tears were brimming in my eyes. As I heard him drive off I broke down. I fell to my knees. I started sobbing and wailing. I yelled his name over and over. I spent a whole day sobbing. I called in sick to work and said I'd need about a week off.
I pushed away all thoughts that were bad about the girl, him and me.
My friends tried to visit but I ignored them. Days passed and soon I got a text saying from Ikuto saying he was coming. I dressed beautiful and washed. He came and the moment he was in he kissed me. He tried to tug my shirt down but before he could go further I said words I didn't know I would regret.
"I love you. Do you love me Ikuto?" He stiffened and looked at me. He didn't answer which saddened me.
"You do love me right?" I said full of heartbreak.
"A-amu I do-don't love you." Tears were now swirling in my eyes. My vision was bleared.
"Sodeska." (A/N I believe it means I see)
I turned and tears went down my face. "But I love you." I said every piece of my broken heart shattered when I turned to see him already out my door. Not later I heard his car speeding away. I broke down crying. A month passed and I was still depressed. My heart ached even more when I would turn on the tv and he was there. He was now a violinist who was rich and famous. But today it broke and so did I because I checked my email and I had one from him.
Me and my wife are happily married and are returning home. I am going to pay a visit. I want to see how your life is. Maybe you can meet my wife and tell each other about your marriages or/and honeymoons or whatever it is you girls talk about. I'll play for you. And I'm positive you'll like my wife. She's beautiful and loving and very funny. I will be at your house on Monday and no worries I will have my key so don't be surprised about me suddenly popping up!
I broke more if possible. That inconsiderate jerk wants me to meet his wife! Damn him to the pits of hell! I clutched my head horrible thoughts ran through my head. I wanted to kill her my other side or brain had convinced me. But I decided not I had an even better idea.
I was pulling up to Amu's house. I wanted to see her family and husband. I wanted to see how her life went after I left. I still felt sort of bad though. I walked up and put my key in the keyhole. I turned it and saw her same old living room but no her. I thought I heard music so I went upstairs to her bedroom.
The music playing was "Who's that girl" by Hilary Duff. I saw a note on her bed so I grabbed it and opened it.
I am so sorry I cannot be happy for you. I still love you. I loved you so much it broke me. My heart hurt everytime I watched and heard you on tv. Your email broke me. How could you be so cruel as to make me suffer and that I needed to kill your wife is what my other side of me had convinced me. I had to get rid of the thoughts and pain so I did. Please don't suffer at the sight okay. Goodbye I will be long gone by the time you read this.
I love you Ikuto More than she will ever love you and more than you will ever love her.
I didn't understand but still worry and fear bubbled in me so I checked everyroom. I got to her bathroom and the sight tore me apart. In her bathtub there she lay,dead. The water was now red. I guess she wanted to drown herself but couldn't so in the middle of her was a knife going straight throught her heart. Her eyes closed and a fresh trail left from her tears were down her cheeks. She looked peaceful and beautiful. Her skin beautifully paled making her hair and lips stand out. Her long silky hair floating in the water. Her clothes clung to her making her a work of art but then she didn't. Her cheeks were stained with tear streaks. Her hair and skin unhealthy looking. And if her eyes were open, which gladly they aren't, They would have been dull and pain filled. She had lost the fight against her pain and sorrow. She had given in to the black void of death. But what broke me and made me cry was it was all because of me. Those were lies about my wife. We hated each other and cheated on one another.
I realized that I loved Amu alittle too late. I regretted my words and decisions all those years ago. And I know I could never save her. I missed her. I felt empty. But as I turned to leave I saw something she wrote.
I fit perfect in your arms.
Our kisses were in sync.
Our love making in beat.
My hand was the perfect fit for yours.
Or so I thought.
Does she fit in your arms?
Are your kisses in sync?
Your love making in beat?
Her hand and yours the right fit?
Does she love you more than me?
I think not because you can not have a copy.
She must be the original because you chose her.
The copy always gets lost or given away so let me choose where I shall go.
I have lost my fight.
I gave in to the darkness of death.
But still I love you and never gave up.
But you don't feel the same.
More tears. I had her properly buried. Her poem was a hit and I got a lot of money for it. I divorced my wife and wrote a lot of music and was rich but I never died. No matter how long I went without food or how I tried to kill myself I never died. So it was my punishment to live and suffer never to be with my love.
I walked to the park and sat on a bench. It soon started to rain so I cried mixing it in with the rain running down my face. I mourned my amu and hated myself. I could have had her in my arms laughing.
Had I said "I love you." She would be here. Three simple yet difficult words.
Had you looked close enough you would have seen a heartbroken man crying but behind him was a happy beautiful pink haired angel hugging him.
Ikuto:Sort of now give me Amu!
Amu: Hey guys!
-Ikuto hugs amu-
Ikuto:No because she'll kill you.
-points accusingly at Chikane-
-amu and Chikane sweatdrop-
Chikane :Amu please?
Amu: Please R&R! And thanks for reading tune in on one of chikane's other stories!