a/n: Hey yall! This is my first songfic-ish story so don't be super mad if I didn't do it right. It's set in present time and goes along with the song "Next Contestant" by Nickelback. I got the idea a little while ago when I was listening to the song on my iPod and I was just waiting to finish my other Sango/Sesshy fic before I made this one. It's gonna be a oneshot and is just kinda out there for fun. Anywayz, ON TO THE STORY!!!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I own the song that I based this fic off of. They belong to Nickelback and that one guy who owns Inuyasha(who's name I cannot currently recall ^-^).


Next Contestant

I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
Each night seems like it's getting worse

Sesshomaru sat at the bar that his girlfriend works at sulking angrily as he watched her busily waiting tables and handing out beers. Her long brown locks were tied up into a high ponytail and as usual her beautiful skin had no makeup marring its perfection. She wore a tight, baby blue tube top and a slightly short denim skirt that showed off her toned stomach and long, tan legs. Of course that particular wardrobe had almost every man in the bar ogling her and sending loud cat calls after her as she walked away; the only men not staring stupidly at her were the few gays and one or two dedicatedly married gentlemen.

And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night she works

It angered him to no end that these pathetic losers thought they even had a chance with his beautiful girlfriend. Every night she worked it was the same; Sesshomaru would take her to the bar at the beginning of her shift and stay there the entire time watching as every man in the club drooled over the perfect body of his Sango. He fervently wished she'd take the night off every once in a while so he could have a quiet, carefree evening with her but no, she had to work to help pay for the apartment they were living in; even if he'd told her he made more than enough to pay for it himself she simply refused and said that she would pay her share.

They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work

It was painfully obvious what the idiots were doing as he watched them one by one make their way over to the DJ, who just so happened to be her younger brother Kohaku, and ask him what she'd do if they started hitting on her or grabbed her butt or something else along those lines. Kohaku merely frowned each time one of the drunken men approached him and each time he warned them against trying anything with his older sister because if she didn't kick their ass herself her very protective and strong boyfriend would do it for her.

They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

Many had tried their chances of getting her drunk by buying her some of the more potent alcoholic beverages the bar served, stupidly thinking that she would actually drink them and succumb to their advances. Each time she merely smiled and walked away with the drink before dumping it down the sink behind the bar's counter. He glared angrily each time one of the men tried that particular tactic knowing exactly what they were hoping to do to her once they got her drunk enough.

Here comes the next contestant

Clenching his fist angrily, Sesshomaru stood and made his way over to the last man who'd bought her the last three powerful drinks. This guy had been putting his filthy hands all over Sango's backside all night and it was about time to deal with him.

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

As Sesshomaru approached the incredibly inebriated man he ground his teeth as he once again caught the guy rubbing his hand along a very angry Sango's rear end as she brought he and his friends their next round of drinks. Closing the distance between his barstool and the table quickly, Sesshomaru roughly grabbed the hand that had been sliding along Sango's rear and squeezed it as hard as he could. He smirked wickedly as he heard some of the bones in the man's right hand breaking as he drug him to the door without ever releasing his iron grip until he threw him out of the front door and into the parking lot before slamming the door. The bouncer, a rather large man named Jinenji, merely smirked at me and positioned himself so that he could prevent the man from trying to reenter the bar and cause any trouble. This was a regular occurrence and I may as well have applied for a job as bouncer seeing how many ill-mannered drunks I threw out each night.

I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work

Returning to his barstool Sesshomaru growled in annoyance as he watched some of the women begin to hit on her. 'Come on!' he thought angrily as he once again had to retrain himself from attacking someone. Women hitting on his Sango was not a usual occurrence but nonetheless it still irked him to no end. He shook his head as he watched Sango frown and shake her head before walked away and leaving the woman slightly sad, trying to drown her rejection with the alcohol she'd just received.

Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

Sesshomaru watched her as she made her way back to the bar through the numerous tables and drunken men. Most of the time she was able to avoid the groping hands that reached out to try to touch her but every once in a while she was unable to and he had to step in; after all, it was his job as her boyfriend to protect her honor.

Here comes the next contestant

It just so happens that now is one of those times as a rather tall drunk with long arms reached out and caught her around her hips and pulled her back towards him. Sango was hard put not to drop the tray of empty glasses she was carrying as the man pulled her roughly towards him and started trying to grope her chest. Sesshomaru appeared next to her only a moment later and one look in his eyes told her he was enraged at the man's audacity.

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

Sesshomaru carefully extracted her from the drunk's arms and made sure she was steady on her feet before he turned around and slammed his fist into the man's half angry half confused face. The force of the hit sent him reeling backwards; overturning the chair he was sitting in, and caused him to hit the ground hard. Sesshomaru wasted no time in grabbing him roughly by the collar and hauling his sorry butt towards the door, not caring if he ran him into a few chairs or tables on the way, and throwing him out the door that Jinenji had opened for him just as he'd done the other man. Growling, he whipped the blood on his fist off on his pant leg and headed back to his seat yet again.

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve
This time somebody's getting hurt

He turned to watch her head back out into the crowd and his eyes fell on the areas that the other men in the club had been leering at so disgustingly earlier. Of course he loved it when she wore those tight little outfits around him but he hated it greatly whenever she wore them to work. The stares she got from wearing them always managed to rouse his anger and almost always got her into some kind of trouble with the bar's drunken occupants.

Here comes the next contestant

He sighed as he once again stood and made his way over to a man whom he could see was preparing to grab her ass as she walked by. As much as it angered him to have to spend his nights at a bar beating up men who came on to his girlfriend he knew that she was worth it and there was no way he was leaving her alone for even one night to deal with them.

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

This time he grabbed the man's hand before he could place it on Sango's rear and decided to show just a little bit of mercy since he hadn't gotten to touch her. Sesshomaru merely jerked the man from his seat, twisted his arm painfully behind his back with such force that he nearly broke the man's arm, and marched his crying form out of the bar, throwing him into the parking lot as he'd done the first two.

I wish you'd do it again
Each night seems like it's getting worse
I wish you'd do it again
This time somebody's getting hurt

By the end of the night he'd personally removed six more men for daring to touch or grope at his girlfriend. He was happy to say that one of those men had been knocked unconscious by the girl herself as he groped her breast as she leaned over to place a drink on the table. Apparently the hard wooden trays she used to carry the drinks with served more than one purpose as she slammed it against the man's face before Sesshomaru could beat the crap out of him himself. He'd smirked as he drug the man's unconscious and bleeding form towards the door and allowed Jinenji to throw him an extra few yards since the large bouncer had seen the event and was just as angry as he was. Sesshomaru had just one last thought as he watched the rather large man chunk the unconscious drunk farther than he, himself, had thrown the other nine.

'There goes the next contestant.'


a/n: Well that's it. As I told yall it's just kinda a random story that I thought up and thought would be fun and funny to write. Sesshy's kinda OOC but just deal with it cuz we're in the present and it goes with the song. I've gotten to where flames don't really bother me that much, most of the time I just laugh at them anyway, so if you wanna flame go ahead but this story is just for fun and if you don't like it so much then why did you read it in the first place? Anyways, those of you who know my writing style will know what to do next...

READ AND REVIEW!!! ^-^