I absolutely love 'Waldorf Salad' and rate it as one of the best Fawlty Towers episodes. I always think that Mr Hamilton would have written several irate letters to people after staying at the hotel :)

I don't own the show or characters, but they've been rented out at a reasonable price.


Dear Sir,

My wife and I live in California and were recently on a trip to Torquay. We had purchased 'The Complete Guide to Torquay' to choose a hotel in which to stay. You had highly recommended 'Fawlty Towers' and we reserved a room there.

With all due respect, sir, I would be interested to know who the idiot was that made the recommendation as they have obviously never stayed there. Almost as soon as we arrived my wife encountered the owner walking about with two plates of lamb which should have been given to the guests. Upon trying to get them back, the guest was met with pure rudeness.

I then had to bribe Mr Fawlty to keep the kitchen open, which is the first time I have ever had to do so. His knowledge of culinary matters is lacking, to say the least, as he doesn't know what a screwdriver is, has no fresh orange juice to hand, and cannot make a Waldorf Salad. While all this was going on, he appeared to be having an argument with his chef about said culinary matters. Even after all this had been eventually sorted out after a further lengthy delay, our steaks were left on the cooker and burnt. I had had enough so I went in to investigate, and found that the chef had left before our arrival and he was pretending that the chef was there. We decided to leave, and encountered several other guests on our way out. After some investigation, we discovered that, contrary to Mr Fawlty's claim, very few guests were satisfied, and the complaints were varied and numerous. Mr Fawlty's wife – a charming and competent woman, who proved herself to be a much more capable hotelier than her husband – managed to sort everything out, but Mr Fawlty stormed off outside into the rain and then came back in just as we left.

Sir, I recommend that you remove this hotel from your guidebook, as the erratic Mr Fawlty s responsible for many of the complaints from the guests and they did not have a happy experience at the hotel. I would also like to express concern for Mr Fawlty's mental state, and recommend he be placed n psychiatric care.

Yours faithfully,

Harold Hamilton.