Uhm, hi? Remember me? It's been about a year since I've updated and that's how long this chapter has been in progress. I tried really hard to get it out about 11 months ago but I started working on some new stuff and life started to suffocate me, but I'm not gonna make excuses. If you are reading this chapter, I just want to thank you for your amazing patience. And I hope you like it.

Thanks to Josss! You're awesome!


"Joss! Dude! Let's go, let's go!" I pulled my suitcase towards the door as I yelled at my best friend who was taking forever to pack her stuff.

"Bella, don't get your panties in a bunch. We have time! Look-" She was cut off by the doorbell.

I raced to answer it and was met by a delivery guy. "Delivery for Isabella Swan." He handed me a huge bouquet of flowers with a small, red box in the center. He then proceeded to ask for an autograph. I couldn't say no, so I quickly did as he requested and thankfully he left.

I held back my embarrassingly girlish squeal as I read the hand written note.


I miss you, every second of every day, so much that it physically hurts me. Everywhere I look I swear I see your face and it's driving me insane. I need to see you as soon as possible, I need your touch and your kiss, I need you more than air at this point.

I love you, more than anything.

Forever Yours,



Tears formed in my eyes as I read the note over and over again. I never knew it was possible to miss someone as much as I missed Edward. Every fiber of my being jumped and convulsed at the thought of seeing him, touching him, kissing him.

"God! Enough with the sappy love letter! Get to the goods!" I rolled my eyes at Joss and opened the red box Inside was a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings. They were huge, and I mean they were basically the size of my freaking eyeball. They were a little flashy for my taste, but they were beautiful and thoughtful nonetheless. I put them on quickly and glanced in the mirror. They must have cost a fortune. But they were timeless, and classic in a way. They looked like they belonged on me.

"Goddamn, those are so shiny!" Joss grabbed my earlobe and inspected the earrings closer like a monkey would when picking fleas off of another monkey's back. "Alright, B. Let's go get your man. And I for one, need to get my tan on."

"Joss, you're Mexican, you're, like, naturally really dark."

"Seriously, Bella. Look at me I'm like a freaking vampire." I chuckled at her and our conversation trailed off as we got into the elevator and descended down to where our cab was waiting for us to take me to Edward.



"I just, fuck, I just love her so much, Heidi. It's indescribable. Just the feeling I get when she's around me, or touching me, and not in a sexual way, well, yeah that feels good as well. But just the slightest touch can make me go mad. My stomach gets all flippy and my vision is all blurry and I can't speak or form a single coherent thought. It's ridiculous. I mean, have you ever felt like this before? It's amazing."

I saw her eyes painfully flicker up and meet mine. I knew she had strong feelings for me, and to be honest it made things awkward and uncomfortable when we were alone, and especially on set when we did romantic scenes together. "Yeah, I have actually."

"Heidi-" She stopped me, hopping up on my white and black marble counter top, while taking a chocolate covered strawberry and biting into it. She reached up and wiped a trail of strawberry juice off the side of her lip before taking a deep breath.

"Hey, Eddo, don't worry about it. It's- it's really not that big of a deal, I mean, we're just friends," she said the words with disgust and resentfulness, it almost made me winced. "Let me see the ring again." I reached into my pocket and produced the small velvet box containing the engagement ring I had bought Bella. "This is crazy, E."

"I know, but it feels right, like I'm on the right path. I know this is what's supposed to happen next." I breathed out the words quickly, still trying to rationalize the idea of proposing to Bella in my head.

"How long have you two been together?" She pulled out the platinum ring and placed it on her ring finger, taking a moment to admire the way it looked on her dainty hand. She huffed and murmured, "So pretty," before returning her attention to me and waiting for my answer.

"Six or seven months give or take."

Heidi looked at me sceptically, "That's not that long, I mean are you sure you're both ready for this? You're both pretty young. I don't know much about Bella, but are you sure this won't freak her the hell out and send her running back to Kansas or wherever she's originally from?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored her last inquiry. "We're also very much in love, and who cares how long we've been together? I know I'm gonna be with her for the rest of my life. I'm just speeding up the process by proposing now, rather than later." I grabbed a beer out of my fridge and got a Vitamin Water for Heidi.

"Thanks. So, what did you tell her when she saw the picture of you showing me her engagement ring? Did she freak and get pissed?" I could see the excitement in her eyes at the thought of me and Bella getting into a fight. I gave her a hard, almost scolding look, and she just giggled with a shrug of her shoulder.

"No, I told her it was a present for her and that I was just asking for your opinion on it." She rose an eyebrow at me. "Okay so, I didn't entirely lie, I just twisted the truth a bit." I paused and nursed my beer, "I sent her a pair of earrings and some flowers on rush delivery, which she should've received this morning, actually."

"How clever of you." She smirked at me. "But, you do realize that tomorrow is the big day, and we're both screwed because all we've been doing for the past twelve hours is watch 'Jersey Shore' and drink beer. So maybe we should go rehearse."

To be exact Heidi was the one watching 'Jersey Shore' while I was reading over the script. "Do you have your lines memorized?" I asked, unsure.

She shot me an incredulous glare. "Yes, maybe you should stop underestimating me for once."

"Sorry, I've filmed the last few movies with Tanya Denali, don't forget." She laughed and hopped off of my counter.

"We can practice in the front room, its more open and spacious like the set we'll be using." She shrugged her shoulders indifferently as she followed me into my front room.


We were half way done with the scene, the only part left was the romantic scene. It involved heavy kissing and groping, but no sex, thank God. To be honest, I don't know if I was comfortable doing it in my house, it felt too personal to me, a little invasive almost. "Heidi, maybe we shouldn't-"

She put her finger to my lips and continued on with the scene, "Blake, I need this. I need you. Now. I can't wait another minute." She started to unbutton her blouse to reveal a lacy black bra.

I threw her body down on to the couch just like the script requested, she wrapped her legs around my torso and flipped us over. Our lips finally met, and just like always I felt absolutely nothing, it was like kissing my Great-Aunt Mildred. But, I pretended like I did feel something, I had to, it was in the job description. I moaned thickly and shoved my tongue deeper into her mouth as she ripped off my button down and ran her hand down my bare chest, it was then that I realized that she still had the engagement ring on her finger. Heidi met my eyes and then they flashed to the wide open glass window that covered the front of my house.

My heart stopped, my chest froze. Bella was standing there. Bella. My Bella. My re-pierced and tattooed, beautiful, kind, perfect, and now heartbroken Bella. She was finally wearing her crappy band t-shirt and completely torn to shreds jeans and a pair of chucks. My old, amazing Bella. She was standing there staring at us through the window, her chocolate brown eyes painfully wide. She was shaking her head and her hand slowly crept up to her neck and I watched in pain as she tore off the necklace that I had gotten her and threw it in the bush in front of her.

I started to get up and run to the door as Bella turned on her heel and ran back into the taxi. But before I could make it to her the taxi sped away.


Everything hurt. Everything. I'd never felt a pain quite like this. It started in my head with the image of Heidi's gorgeous engagement ring, her hand in Edward's hair, my hair, Edward's lips on hers, their bodies pressed tightly together, the huge smile on his face when he looked at her. He look beyond happy with her, she was perfect, after all. The images seared my skull, making me want to pull out my hair. My stomach was in knots, I swore I was going to puke. I was radiating hurt, and stupidity, and denial, and rejection. Pain rolled off of me like waves making it hard to breathe.

Why hadn't I listened to James? Why did I actually believe Edward! He's an actor for shit's sake, he lies for a living, and I fell for it, so easily, God I can't believe I fucking fell for it. I actually loved him, or who he pretended to be at least. I wish I could erase every fucking lie from my mind. How could I have let my guard down? Why? Why would anyone do that? How fucking blind was I? He played me, and I hate him for it, but I actually hate myself more for it. I punched the cabby's headrest in front of me. He turned around and glared furiously at me. I gave him a mental finger.

"Where to?" I pushed away the tears and told him Joss's address.

After I paid and thanked the cab driver I practically sprinted into her modest home.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't function. I fell over on the couch and started hyperventilating.

"Well, that was some quick, and by the looks of it, rough reunion sex." Joss walked in with her bikini and a freshly made martini. She took one good look at me and grabbed me into a fierce hug. "What happened?"

I went through every painful detail and scene with her, each word that came out of my mouth made everything so much more painfully real. "I need a plane ticket, I, I can't be here anymore I wanna go home."

"I'm going to cut that bitch. Just you wait, Bellsies, that hoe-bag will regret even looking at Edward after I'm through with her! The nerve of some tramps, I swear. Bitch won't see me coming." She went on and on about what she was going to do to Heidi, and oddly even though most of her ramblings made me chuckle, it didn't feel any better about the situation. I stopped listening to her when she started rambling about finding her old knife collection.

In the midst of Joss's threats I got up and told her I was going to head to bed, and I walked up to one of her guest bedrooms and pulled out my cell phone and dialed Rose's number. She was the only one I could think to call, she was like my mother, my sister, my best friend, my mentor, and my therapist all rolled into one.

She answered after half of a ring. "Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me. Rose, my life is a fucking mess I don't even know what to do anymore. I can't do this, and the worst part is I miss you and Em, you guys are the only family I have. I miss Rem and I miss being able to walk out the front door without someone yelling my name, I miss being normal, Rose. Help." I just unloaded on her and told her everything about Felix and Edward and what Loretta had said to me, and she just listened and helped me and told me that everything was going to be alright, that I would be happy again.

I didn't believe her.

I couldn't believe her.

I wished I could believe her.

After crying for what felt like hours and talking to both Emmett and Rose about practically everything in my life, and after listening to Emmett threaten Edward's pathetic life more than a million times they promised that they would be back in New York before I had returned to welcome me with open arms. Honestly, nothing sounded better to me than that. To have two people, whom I loved and who loved me, waiting for me at home.

By the time it was seven o'clock I was tucked uncomfortably in the guest bed with the itchy black and white comforter pulled up to my chin. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and Heidi, no matter how hard I tried not to think about it my thoughts kept wandering back to it. The tears had long since dried up, there were no more left to cry. My face was red and swollen and streaked. I probably looked like hell, but I was to scared to get up to go look in the mirror.

The pain was too much to take. I'd only felt pain like this once in my life. When Brennan had relapsed. And how did I deal with that?

I drank until I couldn't tell left from right.

And that's exactly what I was gonna do now. But, I would have to wait until Joss was sleeping because she'd freak if I went straight for a bottle of Grey Goose instead of Mountain Dew. So, I just sat up in bed and stared at the clock, which seemed to be ticking much slower than usual, slow enough to the point that I was convinced that its sole purpose of being manufactured was to torture me relentlessly. I made it until seven thirty before I went and grabbed my guitar and notepad and started writing. I poured out my emotions, mostly anger and hatred for both Edward and Heidi. Okay, it was all anger and hatred, but still, writing this had brought out the emotions again, all at once and it wasn't long before my tears had completely blurred my vision to the point where I couldn't even tell what I was writing anymore.

There was a knock at the door and Joss peeped her head in and asked how I was doing I replied and told her I was fine, even though I was far from it. "Bella, I know I'm not able to speak from experience, but, I know you'll get through this and everything will be fine and you will be happy again. You're the strongest person I know, baby cakes. Trust me on this, Edward Cullen is the biggest dumbass to walk the planet at the moment. Just take one step at a time and breathe and write and sing."

"Thank you, Joss. I know I'll make it, it just sucks, bad." The words sounded completely robotic coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment.

She smiled understandingly, "I'm gonna hit the sack, I love you, baby girl. Sleep tight." I just gave her a half grin as she shut the door behind her.

Her words did make me feel a small percentage better, but it still hurt, and I was still going to get plastered tonight to make it all go away.

I waited a solid twenty minutes before I tip toed downstairs to the kitchen. The clock read 12:04 AM. I opened up practically all of her cabinets before I found her stash of alcohol, and what a stash it was. Six bottles of a variety of vodka, two bottles of rum, a bottle of Jack, and some gin to top it all off. I hadn't had anything remotely alcoholic in almost two years. And even back then when I was a binge drinker my tolerance was pretty low.

I quietly laid out six shot glasses and filled them with vodka, I took a steady, deep breath before I knocked the first one back. It hit me like a train, and burned the back of my tongue and slipped down my throat. I wasted no time in drinking the rest of them. I was already seeing double when I finished the round and was feeling a little bit woozy as I started to drain the bottle of Grey Goose. After that was mostly finished I started on the jack and only made it about a forth way through. I grabbed the gin and stared at, mumbling to myself. "You're so pretty, gin-ny, I just want to drink you up and make you my bitch!" I stared petting the smooth glass bottle and laughing. I then proceeded to make it my bitch as I said I would do.

Now for those of you unaware, I was very courageous drunk, also, at times, a quite obnoxious drunk as well. So, I cannot take full responsibility for my actions most of the time, you know the song 'Blame It'? Yeah, complete story of my life.

I picked up my cell phone off the floor, ignoring all of the missed calls and texts from that man whore who I'd rather stab with cactus needles than talk to, and dialed the cab company's number and told them I needed a cab ASAP. I ran up to my room and grabbed my guitar and flew out the door.


I didn't know what to feel or think, I had called her and texted her to explain the situation but I had yet to get a reply and highly doubted that I would get one anytime soon unless the text contained threats or insults. I couldn't sleep knowing that Bella hated me and was thinking that I had cheated on her. I called every hotel in Los Angeles looking for her and none had any record of her. I didn't know what to do except try and sleep and think over what I was going to do next.

I was shuddered out of my thought-coma but the sound of my gate opening. What the fucking hell. I grabbed a pair of pants and threw on a t-shirt and my glasses and quickly ran outside. I was astounded from the sight in front of me.

A staggering Bella was pulling her guitar out of its case.

"Bella! Oh my-" Her head snapped up and a look of fury settled onto her gorgeous face.

"Don't you 'Bella' me you dirty fuck!" Her words slurred and sloshed together. She was totally tanked and gone. Bella never drank. I made her do this, her drinking was caused by me. The pain from the realization made me stagger backwards

I tried to say something but I was stopped suddenly by her guitar, which was flawless considering her drunken state.

"This one is for you, Edward! You mother fucker!" She pulled out a flask and chugged the rest of its contents, and then continued to play after belching and throwing the flask at my brand new Aston Marin Vanquish. Son of a bitch.

I didn't say anything, I couldn't think of the right words to say as I watched her perform.

"Well I guess I'm addicted to your soft hair and your sweet kiss,
cause when it comes to promises you make me sick,
you're not so innocent,
when it comes to girls,
you've made your bed so go fuck her in it.

And when you're laying next to her,
I hope to god you catch something,
so contagious from your bed,
since everyone's been in it."

I cringed visibly at the words, she really thought that I was a man whore.

"Kissing with eyes closed,
brought us,
too close,
kissing with eyes closed,
brought us,
too close.

And the morning after,
there's a taste of cancer in my throat,
from the note,
that your girlfriend wrote.

I'm gonna make you hate my pen."

Even though every word in the word was a blow towards me, I had to admit the song was very cleverly written, Bella certainly hadn't lost her niche for songwriting.

"Kissing with eyes closed,
brought us,
too close,
kissing with eyes closed,
brought us,
too close.

Kissing with eyes closed,
kissing with eyes closed,
kissing with eyes closed,
kissing with eyes closed,
we're kissing.

Go back to the way that we were,
never thought I'd say these words,
never again,
we'll never be friends,
So let's go back to the way that we were,
never thought I'd say these words,
never again,
we'll never be friends."

As soon as she shouted the last line another cab pulled up which contained Joss, she grabbed Bella and threw her into the taxi. Bella held up her middle fingers the entire time she was being dragged.

I was to distracted by Bella to notice that Joss was coming towards me, she glared at me evilly. "I should cut your balls off, Cullen. I can't believe that you would do that to her, especially with Heidi. Heidi! Are you kidding me with this shit? You are the lowest of low. You don't deserve Bella.


Joss just shook her head. "No. You are shit, Cullen. Just leave her alone, okay? She wants nothing to do with you now. I hope you're happy."

"It wasn't what it looked like-"

"Save it, Edward. She fucking loved you, and you broke her heart." Her words stung, they were the truth, I had broken Bella's heart, something I had vowed to never do. And I hadn't even done what Bella thought I did. Everything was a huge fucking mixed-up mess.

Before I could say anything else she got in the cab and drove away.

I think I literally heard my heart breaking to pieces as a pathetic, guilt-ridden tear fell down my cheek.


I was barely aware of where I was, who I was with, and what the hell I was doing. I was completely and totally numb from head to toe, a pretty amazing feeling if I do say so myself. I felt someone sit down beside me. I looked over to see who it was. Joss.

She handed me a warm cup of tea. I sloppily thanked her with an overly, drunken, and enthusiastic 'thank you, pretty lady'.

I started laughing hysterically, Joss looked at me as if I'd lost it. To be honest, I think I had at this point.

"What in the fucking hell is so funny Bella? You had me worried half to death!"

I was laughing to the point of tears and could barely get out my words, "Edward... he had... freckle... on his... peepee!" I laughed even harder as Joss stared, trying to decipher.


I tried to settle my drunk self down. "Edward Cullen has a freckle on his peter." I started up my giggling again. I glanced over at Joss and watched as a smile crept upon her face. "We should call him 'Freckle Dick'."

Joss snorted loudly, "Bella, you are never drinking again. Ever. Understand?" I slightly nodded my head as my eyes started to force themselves shut. "We need to have a serious talk in the morning when you wake up, but for now you need to get to sleep."

I didn't hear another word, I fell into a thick slumber with dreams about slaughtering Heidi and Edward both.


I woke up the next painful morning, with a terrible throbbing headache, surprise, surprise. That's what I get for drinking like a crazy drunk with absolutely no limits. That's what I used to be. An alcoholic. I can't believe I actually sunk that low again, I promised myself that I would never resolve to alcohol to fix my problems again.

Thinking about this made my head even more pain stricken. I cracked my eyes open and literally rolled out of bed and walked downstairs where Joss was cooking breakfast. "Morning, Sunshine."


"Someone seems a little down, I know something that will cheer you up," I waited for her to keep going but instead she went straight for the windows and ripped the curtains open. "SUNSHINE! Isn't it a beautiful day?"

I covered up my eyes as best I could, "Joseline! I am going to kill you once this hangover subsides. I swear it."

She laughed at her prank for a little longer before getting me some Tylenol and a glass of water, I quietly thanked her. "Okay, Joss. Let me hear it."

"Last night, you were completely stupid and reckless. I mean really, what were you thinking? Were you even thinking? Don't even answer that. But, thank God, no one in the press even knows that you are in LA, thanks to your wonderful body double who has been spotted around in New York. You escaped this time, Bella. I don't want you doing that again, understood?" I nodded my head yes guiltily. I felt like a little girl being punished for getting her church dress muddy. "Here, I got you a new phone and shut off your old one, Edward was calling and texting non-stop, now he won't have your number. I also booked you a flight back to NYC for tomorrow night."

"Thank you, Joss. Really, you're a life saver." I picked up the new iPhone off the counter and started toying around with it.

"Look, I already downloaded Angry Birds for you!" I thanked Joss again before excusing myself to go take a shower.

I turned the water up almost as far as it would go and stepped in. I just reveled in it for a minute before sinking down to the shower floor. All at once it hit me. Edward never loved me. He loved Heidi. That's it, nothing more. He never wanted me, I was just a charity case, a fun little fling for him. Heidi was gorgeous and sexy and Brazilian, and I was mousy and plain and fucked up in the head. It was a clear choice for Edward, and I was stupid to believe that he would actually choose me over her.

My tears combined with the water from my shower as the fell down my face like a flood. I cried until the rest of me was numb. I convinced myself that I would be strong and that I would forget about Edward Cullen, I could move on and be happy again, just like when Brennan died. I would be okay.

I finally got out when the water was completely cold. I got dressed in some comfy old sweats and sat down with my notebook and my guitar and poured everything out through music.

This was the best kind of therapy.


I can't believe Joss talked me into this.

"One more talk show, B. Craig practically begged me. Please, please, please!"

How could I say no?

I pulled my tight ruby red dress's single strap up over my shoulder as Joss zipped me up. I stepped into my sheer black argyle tights and slipped on my heels and readied myself for the interview that was going to take place soon.

"Okay, Bella. Remember what we talked about?" I couldn't quite concentrate of what Joss was saying because my hair dresser, Rebecca, was twisting my hair into an insanely tight bun.

I nodded my head yes.

She repeated her instructions anyways. "Laugh at his jokes, avoid any career threatening questions, try to avoid the boyfriend conversation so you don't have an emotional breakdown, and finally, do not make your big announcement until after the interview is over."

"I got it chief, I'll be fine out there, I promise."

The producer came back and told me that I was set to go on in two minutes. I took a few calming, deep breaths and walked out from behind the curtains to where Craig Ferguson was waiting for me. "Bella, darling! Thanks so much for joining us, its a real pleasure."

"Well, thank you for having me! This is amazing!" I smiled widely. As I shook his hand.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. What a year you've had!" I agreed with him and smiled graciously, this was just like all the other talk shows I'd done. It was practically a routine by now. "So, tell us, what's next with you?"

I nervously thought on this question, "Everything is up in the air at this point, I guess. I'm figuring everything out one step at a time."

"But, you have decided to decline another contract from Jive records, correct?"

"Yes, I wasn't quite what they were looking for, we weren't a good match." I answered the question without completely trashing Jive, I gave myself a mental high five for my maturity.

"Well, you did produce one of Jive's most successful albums, it seemed like it was a good match to me." He chuckled a little and took a sip of his coffee. I smirked and winked at him.

"It's so lovely of you to grace us with your presence tonight, what brings you to LA?"

I had to think quick, make something up. Shit. "Uh," I hesitated. "Business, I came here to accompany my amazing manager on a talent search, and I needed a little sunshine."

"Sounds like some really serious business. Let's play the 'This or That' game, shall we?" I shook my head yes as he pulled out his notecards. "James Bond or Blake Viper?"

I smirked internally, "James Bond all the way, I find Blake Viper a little full of himself, and he's a manwhore." Fuck! Bella! Really? I laughed my way out of it as best I could.

"Wow, that was... insightful. Boxers or briefs on a guy?"


He went on and on with random items, and then it got interesting. "Tanya Denali or Heidi Mendes?"

Well, let's think, Tanya is a psychotic bitch who kept Edward under contract because she's so completely obsessed with him and Heidi is a slutty boyfriend stealing bitch who I can only hope burns in the deepest depths of hell. This was a hard one. "Uhm, Tanya." Because she didn't lure my boyfriend in with her long tan legs and Brazilian accent while we were apart for a few months.

"Edward Cullen or James Dawson?"

Think Bella, be smart about this. "James, he really has helped me grow into a fantastic artist over these past few months, he's just a truly outstanding guy."

"Actors or musicians?"

"Musicians, actors are trained to lie, and that's a little off-putting for me."

He asked me a few more random questions, just stupid little things that were void of controversy.

"So, Bella. What will you be performing for us tonight?"

"Just a little song I wrote for you all. Something a little different and new that I came up with not too long ago." I smiled at him sweetly.

"Well, we cannot wait to hear it!"

I walked up to my position in front of the crowd and readied my acoustic guitar. "This is called 'Pieces'."

"I tried to be perfect,

But nothing was worth it,

I don't believe it makes me real.

I thought it'd be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it's the only thing that I have

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own."

"So, guys I partly came on this show to make an announcement. I have decided, for personal reasons, to take a hiatus for an undetermined amount of time. Thank you for your continued support. I just ask for this time so I can be alone, and live my life the way I want to live it. Thank you so much."

The audience was shocked for a moment and I took that opportunity to run off stage and into joss's arms. "That was awesome, Bella. Don't worry about anything, I'll take care of everything else. Just get in the car, k?"

I did as Joss requested and grabbed my phone and checked my messages. One from Rosalie. "You need to watch the latest episode of Oprah, like now!"


I'm hoping you loved it but, you most likely hated it, and I know that you want everything fixed like NOWWWWW! but either way thank you for reading, and again thanks for waiting!

Reviews are much appreciated but not obligitory. :)