Keeping the Bargain
After Faith grabbed my hand I knew what I had to do. I had to keep my end of the bargain; I had to tell the truth to everyone who mattered and I knew who had to be the first. No time like the present. I said goodbye to Faith and hopped on my bike, cycling to Jordan's house at a furious pace, afraid that if I chickened out now I would never do it.
Jordan's Dad opened the door. He didn't look too pleased to see me, I guess they don't keep secrets in this house.
"Is Jordan in?" My voice sounded pathetic, much quieter than I had intended.
"He is, but I'm not sure he really wants to see you right now Greg." His voice was quiet but firm.
"Please, I need to see him, it's important."
"Very well then," he stepped aside, allowing me entry. I swallowed nervously and mounted the stairs.
I knocked, twice, but there was no reply. I pushed open the door. Jordan was lying on his bed, hands behind his head and eyes closed, listening to music on his headphones. He didn't appear to be aware of my presence.
"Jordan?" Maybe I hadn't been loud enough. "Jordan?" His eyes snapped open in shock and he scrambled upright, pulling off his headphones.
"What? Come to gloat about your newest conquest?" The words, which should have been full off hate and loathing, sounded sad and choked. I hadn't been prepared for this, I wanted him to be angry, I needed him to be angry, it was what I deserved.
"Jordan, I…I wanted to tell you…" I don't know how to start, so I just open my mouth and the words come pouring out. "I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry, I acted like an idiot and I think the reason that I was so hostile was that I like you too and it scared me…" my voice petered out. I didn't want to look up and see his rejection so I carried on staring at my trainers, the edges of which were starting to blur.
"You're not…crying are you?" His voice was gentle now, closer. I shook my head, feeling the tears slide down my nose. He laughed softly and I felt hands guiding me to his bed where we sat down. His arms were supporting me, around me and it felt so good to have someone holding me that I couldn't prevent the sobs, rising from deep down where I had buried them. His arms were around me and he stroked my hair and rocked me until I was at the gulping, hiccupping stage.
"Look at me, Greg" My breath stuttered in my throat and I blinked then slowly raised my head. His eyes were also wet with tears and his wet eyelashes had clumped together. I found myself counting his eyelashes, without knowing when I had got so close, until I had to close my eyes to avoid going cross-eyed. And when he said, "I forgive you," I felt the words against my lips.