When I was twelve my mother left home. I was the eldest of three boys.

She had found a new love. She didn't mean to bail out on us- in the end she didn't. She was there at the sidelines always. My dad didn't really want to elaborate much about mom and why she left… but I knew. He was ashamed. He had married a lesbian and loved her with all his heart and he never even knew until she came one night and told him she loved him- as a friend. She had found the love of her life: a girl.

Carlisle was devastated but he pulled through, eventually getting over it and even becoming best friends with Esme. In the end us three were still raised by a mother and father figure and as my mother had moved back in again the only characters that stepped in and out of our lives were their girlfriends (whom every once in a while put in some kind of teaching).

I was okay with it, I mean, most of my friends who's parents had separated or divorced didn't even want to see the other and here we were being raised by dad and mom, in the same house. They were both happy with their relationships, not settling down yet, and actually I can't say that my parent's tastes sucked in any way. Actually… I still feel bad for jerking off to one of my mother's girls- Damn! Mom knew how to pick!

When my brothers and I were older we made a pact. We'd never, ever fall for a lesbian. We love Esme, bless her little heart, but we truthfully didn't want what happened to Dad to happen to us and I guess having a gay mother actually helped improve your natural gaydar. My brother's Jazz and Eddy had the world's best gay radar. They could tell a gay person, even if they didn't look it, by a glance. I, however, guess being the older in that situation didn't really help me that much to grow an off the hook radar… much the opposite actually.

My first girlfriend was Tiffany Meyers. Man, that girl was hot!

She was the typical cheerleading captain and I was the typical jock, football captain and hottie. So we had the typical captain and captain romance. Tiff, was my first everything. She knew a lot and taught me all about the female body. We dated for all of middleschool until the day before graduation when we broke up. She told me she had kissed her friend as an experiment and realized she liked it. She was "unsure" of her sexuality and needed time to figure it out.

Luckily I had loads of girls at my feet and, thanks to Tiff, vast amount of knowledge on the female body. I had various one night stands until I met the new girl in High school, Christen Banks. Fuck! That was the best piece of ass I've seen in my life! And trust me, I've seen a lot. To top it off… she had the brains- she was the smartest in our whole grade. We clicked and began dating.

We dated for about an year or so between on and offs. She was cool and we were cool until one day she came to me and introduced her girlfriend to me and I was her best guy friend. I asked her about it and she said I was great in bed but the heart couldn't be controlled and she loved her girlfriend with all her heart and she thought I knew she was gay. She said it was supposed to be an easy break up as we weren't really serious. Hm, I always thought we were.

I kept going out with random girls, not in serious relationships, just to fill out my appetite meanwhile I got another girl. Then we had to move to another place since Carlisle and Esme invested in a company and got some serious bucks so they bought another house and with it came another high school for me. At school I met Mary Alice Brandon. A short, bubbly, beautiful pixie. She was small (everywhere) but I found her unbelievably cute. Big in her would just be wrong.

She had beautiful hazel eyes and short brown spiky hair in what she claimed to be a "pixie cut". She loved baseball and she had a mean curve ball. She was also really girly as she always wore heels and skirts plus she loved pink. Also Alice was a complete fashionista and a shop-a-holic. She always went shopping and showed me the newly bought goods. I really couldn't complain.

I totally clicked with Alice. She was just so… happy!! Like the sun, she'd always brighten everyone just by entering a room. She was so fun to be around with and she was unbelievable in bed until one day in which I found her behind the gym making out with Jessica Stanley the highschool's lesbian.

She said I was too sweet and tender and any girl'd be lucky to have me but she needed to get her own sexual satisfaction as well as love elsewhere and a boy just wouldn't cut it for her. Afterwards she came out of the closet and she was known as the school's Dyke and she didn't care at all. We graduated soon after and I was offered several scholarships to play football in college and I decided to go with the University of Pennsylvania. My parents were really happy I was even offered to go to an Ivy league college. I was still pretty bummed out about my reverse gaydar. All the girls I liked and dated were gay!

Then I thought my luck changed when I met her.

19 years old, a tall 5"8', Blonde curls to her mid-back, striking blue eyes, flawless peachy skin and as voluptuous as they come. Pretty much the opposite of Alice, Rosalie Hale had caught my attention and held it hands down.

We clicked instantly the day I met her and I clicked more with her than I ever did with Alice. Rosalie loved sports specially football and was outgoing and reserved yet wild and still very fun to be around with. She was really smart and she was getting an engineering degree. She was always playing football with mean and God, could she tackle! I am still surprised such a thin thing could tackle like that and not break her bones. I mean she could tackle me! Big ol' me! Emmett 'The Bear' Cullen, the biggest and best member in the whole team and the quarterback! She was also a car fanatic and was working on her antique cars collection. She was, by far, the best mechanic in miles around.

I thought I was in love. Before I got my business degree I realized I wanted to marry her. I had bought the most expensive and beautiful ring I could and I went to her dorm room with a basket full of rose petals and a bottle of champagne to wait for her in the room as she was in chemistry lesson right then. I took the spare key and opened the door. All the things fell down when I realized what I was seeing. MY Rosalie in bed with my ex-girlfriend Alice! No wonder Rosie never told me who her roommate was and why she never wanted to introduce her to me- I had told Rose about my past relationships.

I was really hurt and I felt horrible. I got really mad and didn't even listen to her explanation. I didn't speak to her until a very long time after that, like two months or something. She said she knew what she did was wrong and she was going to tell me that same night I found them in bed. She said she had found her soulmate and she was really sorry I wasn't the person I thought I was to her. She said she really loved Alice and that she did love me… but as a friend. Huh, sounds a lot like what Esme told Carlisle.

Rosalie said she still wanted to be my friend as she had finally found the play mate she had always wanted, her drinking buddy and after a couple of months to let it sink in and cool off I agreed. Us three became the best of friends, we always went out to drink, Alice would stock our wardrobe, we'd go dancing, hell! They even invited me to bed with them more than twice since they said they never had a cock as good as mine.

So… have been my relationships so far. I guess now you understand why my brothers laugh at me along with my parents. Yes! Even Carlisle and Esme!! And that also explains my not dating anyone besides having one night stands. Why? BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS THEIR GIRLFRIENDS TO BE GAY AND EVEN LESS TO HAVE THEM REALIZE THEY ARE GAY AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN WITH YOU!!!!! Sorry for the outburst. Because, it is true I do have a phone book with the numbers of each of my ex-es and it is true they have all called at some point to tell me that if I ever wanted a good fuck or just a talk I could call them. But truth is… I really did want to have someone to love and cherish and now I just have this fucking trauma!

"And how do you feel about that?" I growled.

"You know what?! This whole psychologist shit is overrated! Come on, how should it make me feel? Ugh, I'm out of here and tell Carlisle I said to stop fucking getting these shitty appointments for me!" I said as I stood up from the loony chair and glared at the psychologist that was about to shit his pants due to my reaction. I grabbed my jacket and after grabbing the paper in which he had been writing on I left, slamming the door behind me.

Almost immediately after I heard my cell phone ring.

"hello?" I said roughly as I searched through my pockets to find my Jeep's keys. When I found them I opened the door, got in and closed it.

"Son, it's getting tiresome to find psychologists that dare to give you an appointment" I growled.

"Then don't find psychologists for me!" I hissed as I pulled out and headed for my house.

"Son… your lack of commitment to a girl worries your mother and me!" I rolled my eyes.

"Dad… I am fine! Come on, I just haven't found the right girl!" I said as I turned on the radio.

"Son, Esme is really worried and I am as well. Just because you went through all those things with Alice and Rosalie it doesn't mean you need to close yourself off! I was talking to Edward and Jasper about it and they said you're always having carnal relationships and you throw them away afterwards" I rolled my eyes.

"It is true Dad, I'm always going home with a new girl and then I throw them out and no, I don't care about them. I just don't want a girlfriend right now…" I said as I began calming down and headed for our house.

"Son… oh, wait, Esme is here, maybe she can talk to you and you'll listen" as if… all of them have tried, even Eddy boy and I still don't plan on getting a girlfriend. "Esme, honey, I'm talking to Emmett about his… girl's issues –cue Esme's giggle- Sure, Sure, give me a second. –cue shuffling- Emmy, darling?" I laughed.

"yeah, Mom?" I heard her laugh as she smacked Carlisle's arm, I think.

"Honey, you should find a cute girl and introduce her to us instead of fuck half of California's girls… oh, that's right, can you hurry home, there's someone I want you to meet, and can you call your brothers and say I'm calling an emergency family meeting?" I laughed.

"Sure, mom" I said as I hung up and then dialed Edward's number.

"Hello?" I laughed.

"Eddie Boy!!" I heard a groan.

"Emmett, what the fuck?! How many times have I told you not to call me that!! Geez. What's wrong?" I chuckled again as I passed the entryway for our house and I opened the garage door and entered.

"Give me a sec" I put his call on hold and dialed Jasper's.

"Emmett? What's up?" I opened the car door and smiled.

"Wait a sec" I joined the two convos and finally laughed. "There, we're in conference now. Okay, little brother's… I talked to mom" I heard them laugh.

"Same conversation topic again?" I groaned. They sure knew how to make me remember unpleasant things.

"Yeah, now-" I was cut off by Eddie Boy.

"How was your appointment?" I growled.

"As I was saying-" this time Jasper cut me off.

"Poor guy must be still scared from this bear's outburst" they both started laughing like maniacs. I glared at the wall.

"Ha, ha, ha! Yes, good, laugh at the expense of your brother's misery. Now shut up and listen to me you playboys" oh that's right… they are also womanizers… but I'm the only one that gets to go to psychologists and talks frequently.

"Look who's talking" Jasper shot right back. I shook my head.

"Jazzy, shut up, baby brother. Mom called an emergency meeting… she's introducing us to someone" I heard them groan.

"Oh come on! Again?! She's always bringing new girlfriends home and they never stick long enough!" Jasper complained. I stifled my urge to laugh. Oh, I guess that means mom is a Playboy too.

"Mom really should start analyzing when her relationships are serious enough to feel the need to introduce her girlfriends to us… sometimes it's just a waste of time! Remember Nina?" I laughed.

"yeah, she stuck around for a week and a half" I laughed as I walked up the stairs from the garage to the living room.

"Emmett Cullen! I heard that! Stop talking about Nina!! That was a mistake!" The three of us kept quiet for a second and then burst out laughing.

"Sure, mom. Whatever you say. Anyway, dude, are you guys on your way?" I said as I took off my jacket and threw it over one of the kitchen's chairs.

"Yeah, I'm going to pull up in about five seconds" I heard Jasper say as the garage door opened.

"I'm on my way. You two know the hospital isn't as close to home as you are" he complained. I shrugged.

"yeah, yeah. If you say so Eddie boy… oh, Jazz!" I greeted my brother that came up the stairs from the garage, just like I did a little while ago. "Anyway, Eddie boy, see you in a little while" I hung up, Jasper did the same.

I walked towards the living room, followed closely by Jasper.

"Hey, Mom?" We called as we entered the living room and found it empty of people.

"Jasper! Emmett!" I turned to see her come down the grand staircase running.

"mom, be careful, you can fall!" I warned as I saw her huff and walk towards us. She hugged us each and turned to the second floor.

"Sweetheart, Carlisle! Can you two come down here!!" I heard a giggle and my father's footsteps.

"So… what's this one's name?" Jasper said with a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Wait until you see her!" she scolded as she waited for her new love to come down. We finally saw her and Jasper whistled.

"Hmmm… I like, mom" he said with the smirk even wider. Esme just slapped his arm and smiled widely at her girlfriend.

"Sweetie, come here" she said as the woman walked a little faster and reached the floor. Carlisle also did the same and smiled.

"Hi, sons. How is everything going?" he hugged us each.

"fine" I groaned at the memory of that damned appointment and jasper laughed.

"Good, a new shipment of horses came. We got some new Arabians, I think you'd like them mom" she squealed.

"Can we go one of this days?" she asked hopefully with a bright smile. Carlisle just chuckled.

"I guess" Jasper shrugged.

"Anyway, boys, this is-"

"I'm home!" Edward said as he entered the house through the front door. Jazper and I waved as mom flung herself at him and Carlisle just said a 'hello, son'.

"You're just in time for the introductions!" I said a bit more cheerfully than I should. Edward turned to see mom's new girl and widened his eyes.

"This one's the hottest one yet, mom" Esme just laughed and the woman blushed.

"Boys, this is Renée! Sweetheart, this big bear here is Emmett, the middle one is Jasper and the newly arrived is my youngest Edward" We shook her hand and smiled.

"It's nice to meet you" I said with a polite smile. I felt Jasper nudge me with his elbow with a smirk.

"Stop flirting with mom's girl!" he said in a singsong voice. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

We went inside the living room and Esme went to the kitchen to get the tea and cookies she had been baking. We each sat down and stared at her. She was talking to Dad.

"So, like I was saying, she's a cutie. Though I sometimes wish she'd get along better with me" Dad nodded and laughed.

"Well, Not every kid takes divorce well and it's kind of difficult to get them to be this open, even we have problems with these three, for example they are the biggest playboys in all of California- hands down" he said as he laughed, we just rolled our eyes.

"I'm sorry boys. I was just talking to Carlisle about my daughter, Bella" she said with a bright smile. Immediately us three got interested.

"Daughter?" Jasper asked. She laughed and nodded.

"Is she as pretty as her mom?" Edward said with a slight wink and Renée laughed again. Carlisle just groaned.

"As I said, the biggest playboys in town" he said as we saw Mom carry a tray with tea and cookies and biscuits.

"She's the best cook ever!" Renée said lovingly. Carlisle nodded.

"She is, I can't believe she's this caring all the time" he said with a bright smile. Mom just blushed.

"Oh hush, you two. You're amazing as well. Does anyone want tea?" we all nodded and she began pouring us each a cup. "So, you were talking about Bella?" she said sweetly. We just smirked.

"Yeah, mom. We were just listening to how she was such a cutie" I definitely saw Jasper's evil glint in his eyes.

"So… tell us more about you, Renée" she laughed.

"Well… I'm forty years old… I have one daughter, as I said, but she's not living with me, She was living with her father in Forks until high school and then she went to New Jersey with her friend Angela and she was living there or at least she was until a few weeks ago that she finished college" I smiled and, playing the good and responsible son asked.

"Oh, and which university did she attend?" Edward glared at me, he was normally the one that played the good student, though we got the same good grades.

"She was at Princeton, she's a sweetheart, she even graduated as the best student from all of the graduates. Esme wanted her to be here today… but I'm afraid she couldn't make it" she said with a sad smile. Esme stopped pouring tea and sat beside her, caressing her cheek.

"Bella isn't exactly happy that her mother is a lesbian… she's kind of against her moving and all" Mom told us as she grabbed a cookie and fed Renée who giggled.

"Well, not exactly like that, I mean, she isn't homophobic, she's fine with homosexuals but… she doesn't agree that I left her father when she was little to move to another home with her because I preferred women. She still kind of holds a grudge on me because of that she said I could at least stay in a town near Charlie instead of moving all the way to Phoenix. So when she was ten she pleaded me that I let her go to Forks with her dad- even though she hates the rain and loves the sun. I had to let her leave" she said as she sniffled. I saw Jasper shift around uncomfortably, he was never a fan of over emotional people since he was very good at sensing someone's emotions so he got irritated easily when women got like this.

The evening went like this, basically we talked, ate and Esme finally said that Renée and her had to go because they had an event to go to. They were both really fond of gardening and apparently they were giving a talk about orquids at their gardening club. We went to the TV room and sat more comfortably as they had gone.

"So… what do you think about her?" Dad said. We kind of knew mom mainly cared about him getting to know her girlfriends since they kind of had a pact. They wouldn't go out with someone the other didn't approve of or like.

"She's hot" Edward said as he raised his feet and put them on the table.

Carlisle glared at him and Edward sighed.

"She's nice, a good person, I wouldn't mind mom dating her" he said finally. Carlisle nodded.

"You never mind Mom dating anyone" Jasper said as he cracked his neck and turned on the TV.

"What do you think, Jasper?" he shrugged.

"She's cool, perhaps mom will last long enough with this one" he said as he channel surfed.

"Emmett?" Carlisle turned to me. I sighed.

"Well… I don't know. I guess she has more chemistry with her than her last one… what was her name?" I asked.

"Stephanie" the three of them answered in unison.

"yeah, her. I just want mom to find someone she really likes and to settle down instead of always bringing a new girl" I said as I opened my eyes to find the three of them wide eyed staring at me.

"Emmett… that's the came thing I want for you" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Huh, interesting. Whatever, it's kind of late and I have to go to work tomorrow early so, I'm going to give in to sleep. Night" I said before waving and walking to my room. I closed the door and after changing I went to sleep.

Sooo… a new story. I had this idea since a while ago and I wanted to try it. It'd be funny if this actually happened to someone. Haha. Anyway, hope you like it and I hope you read and review!! I'd really appreciate it. =D