Author's Note: OMIGOD! I'M NOT DEAD! IT'S A MIRACLE! *smacked* Erm, okay, sorry bout that... Anyways, wow! I haven't updated in a long while, sorry for the wait! ^^; So this story is just something random relating to products and people being offended by commercials. Please enjoy this new addition/thingy!


California: Chelsea

Wisconsin: Josh

Florida: Cindy

Georgia: Derek

Warning: Violence, Bears, Swearing, Name Calling, Arguements that do not relate to politics, and picture time. Reader discretion is advised.

Disclaimer: I do not own Alfred F. Jones/America. Hetalia and its characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing except my OCs and my crazy plot.

The Trouble with Children

Chelsea let out a sigh of relief as she walked into her house. She took off her hat and her muddy work boots as she entered through the kitchen door.

"Phew!" She whistled as she wiped sweat from her forehead. "I think I like deserve a little relaxation for all the hard work I did today!" Chelsea heard the gnawing of the little grizzly bear cub. "Huh? Oh, you're hungry aren't ya, little guy?" She said as she picked the cub off from the floor. "No, cabinets aren't for eating." She smiled as she poked the little cub's nose. "I know, I'll give some-"

A shattering of glass could be heard echoing from the main, entrance through the main hallway and to the kitchen where Chelsea and her bear were located. Chelsea stared blankly at the hallway opening waiting for the intruder to enter the room. The thudding of shoes against the tile floor echoed through the hallway as the intruder ran through the hallway and into the kitchen.

Chelsea's expression turned sour as she saw her 'brother' stop at the hallway opening to catch his breath. She watched the light blonde haired man rise up as glare at her. She lifted her eyebrow.

"Josh," She said calmly. "You are, like, so totally paying for that window you broke." The other smirked.

"Like hell I'm paying for that!" Josh screamed, his green plaid shirt jacket moved as he pointed his finger at his sister, revealing the gold shirt underneath it. "You deserved that!"

Chelsea huffed as she placed the cub on the floor. She crossed her arms and pouted. "And why did I like deserve it?"

"Because," Josh stepped closer to her. "You stole my cheese!"


"Oh you know," Josh said as he walked closer to her. He saw the television remote on the counter and snatched it up before Chelsea could. "Just watch it." The television clicked on.

Ironically, that same thing that Josh was so upset about happened to be playing. "Great cheese comes from happy cows," The voice in the commercial said. "Happy cows come from California. Real California Cheese, it's the cheese." The television clicked off.

Chelsea stared at her brother, waiting for him to respond. The remote crashed on the ground violently, as she looked away from him.

"Do you think this is funny?" The man asked. "Or do you really like fucking around with me?" Chelsea gulped as Josh gave her a death glare. "Well!"

"I don't think it's funny." Chelsea replied, quickly shaking off her fear. "And I don't fuck around with you."

"Bullshit!" Josh yelled at her. "You had the galls to air that thing in my state!" One step closer, "In Wisconsin, the state well known for cheese." He took another step until he was face-to-face with her. "What is Disneyland and Hollywood not enough for ya?"


Josh's head was forced to the left, causing him to look awestruck. Chelsea panted as her left hand hovered over the slap mark on his cheek.

She glared at him. "How dare you break my window, ran through my house, shatter my TV remote, and totally yell at me all because of that stupid cheese commercial!" She panted. "Well, you're not the only one who got something stolen from you, and you're certainly not the last." She pushed him away from her, causing him to fall onto the floor.

Josh faced his sister with a stunned expression gracing his face. "Oh yeah?" He argued as he glanced to look at the little bear cub, which had begun to gnaw on its master's work boots.

"Hell yeah!" Chelsea yelled, not taking her eyes off of him. "I know exactly how it feels since that bitch took my Disney business and started marketing her brand of orange juice." Josh rubbed his sore cheek as Chelsea knelt down to the floor.

After a few moments of absolute silence, Chelsea stood back up and walked to the refrigerator. Josh stared as the cub walked over to her and pawed at her feet for food. Chelsea smiled and placed a raw steak on a plate into of the bear.

"You know, you really shouldn't feed wild animals."

"He's not wild." Chelsea responded as she walked back to help him up. "Besides, you're still mad about the whole cheese marketing thing, even though I have nothing to do with it."


They smiled at each other. Chelsea's blue eyes widened as an idea formed in her mind. "Though I might be able to get rid of it, on one condition."


"You help me to 'convince' Cindy that stealing is wrong." Josh smirked as headed out the door.

Cindy sat on the sand as she watched the water lap at it. "Ah, what a wonderful day it is." She sighed. "And there's certainly not anything or anyone that can ruin my day."

The rushing of feet coming towards her made Cindy alert to someone's presence. It's probably just some beach-goer trying to catch a Frisbee. Nothing to worry about. She smiled as the noise grew louder.

"You stealing whore!" Cindy gasped as she was tackled by two people.

"Ah!" She cried as she tried to shove her attackers away from her.

"Give her back the orange market or else I won't get my cheese back!" Josh said as he watched the two sisters battle it out.

"You crazy Cali-girl and you Cheese obsessed freak!" Cindy succeeded in shoving Chelsea off. "What the hell is wrong with you two?"

"Stealing, that's what!" The two said in unison. "We want our stuff back!" A shadow casted over them as Derek cracked his knuckles.

In a matter of seconds the duo were thrown out into the sea, only to be washed back on land on another beach.

"Well, that didn't work out as I planned." Chelsea said as she spit out seawater.

"You didn't even plan it." Josh stated, his brown eyes narrowing.

"I'm sorry," Chelsea apologized as she flipped over onto her back. "If there's anything I can do for you, I'll be more than willing to help."

Josh smirked. "You'll do anything?" He asked as he looked Chelsea up and down.

"Anything." She replied.

"Well," Josh said, feigning thoughtfulness. "There is one thing you can do." He grasped her wrist and dragged her off.

"You know," Chelsea said, holding back her anger. "When I said 'anything', I didn't mean this." She looked down at her clothing.

"Less talking, more posing." Josh commanded as he shook the camera in his hand. "The centerfold's gonna help me sell and market my cheese."

"I'm so totally not a centerfold!" Chelsea cried as she threw the block of cheese at him.

"Keep still!" Josh ordered. "And look more sexy!"

"You pervert!"

"Hey, you said 'anything'." Smack. "Ouch."

Surprise ending much? I don't know why it ended like that, but I kind of like it. ^^;

Referring to Real Californa Cheese, Wisconsin seems pretty ticked off by the fact that California would come onto their "territory". Cause everyone in the US knows that Wisconsin and cheese go together. Period. The. END. The same with California and the citrus business, you just don't mess with that. (Even though California is also big in the dairy business too...)

Personally, I don't really care but there are some people who are really offended and sometimes disgusted by this. I mean, it's just a little friendly competition, right? *mobbed by Wisconsin people*

Anyways, please review even if you hated it! I'm sorry that I've been gone for so long, school was killing me.

Thanks for reading this nonsense!

PS: I thinking gall means the same as balls/nuts, right? I know, I'm stupid for using a word I don't know...