Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Characters: Roger, random shrink

Genre: Humor

A/N: Suggested by superfreak330.


Roger sat comfortably in the lightly reclined armchair, looking around at the office of his new therapist.

"So, Mr. Ruvie, is it?"

"Roger, please," Roger said graciously.

The therapist nodded, smiled. "So what brings you here, Roger?"

"Well you see, I'm having some stress at work."

The therapist relaxed a little. She preferred to help people with this sort of issue. It broke her heart when someone came in with the death of a loved one, or if she had to refer them to a psychiatrist when their problems were beyond her scope, if they needed medication that as a psychologist she couldn't legally prescribe. "What do you do?" she asked politely.

"I can't tell you that."

The therapist blinked, surprised. The man looked too old to be some top-secret government operative, but what did she really know about such things? "Well… where is it?"

"I can't tell you that either."

She squinted in thought. She needed something to go off of. "Well what seems to be the problem?"

"I've had a rough few years on the job," he said sadly. "First, one of my children committed suicide. Then another one went off on a murderous rampage. He killed three people in America and then tried to kill himself but instead just got horribly burned and is now in jail. Then another handcuffed himself to Kira but got killed by him."

"I'm sorry," she said with feeling. "Alright. What do you want to start wi-"

"I'm not done."

"Oh."

"After that one got killed by Kira, another one went off to try and catch Kira. He got caught in an explosion and burned half his face off. He survived but shortly thereafter his lover got shot to death by the police, then he himself was killed by Kira."

The psychologist nodded sympathetically. A lot of people had been coming in about Kira, lately. "I see."

"Not done," Roger apologized.

"Okay?"

"I forgot to mention that my boss who was also my lover got killed at the same time as the child who handcuffed himself to Kira."

The psychologist waited.

Roger waited.

Silence.

"That's it," Roger said.

The psychologist leaned back in her chair. She reached for her phone to call one of her psychiatrist contacts. This man was going to need medication.