Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Characters: Mello

Genre: Humor


Mello sighed aloud and dropped his head backwards to stare at the ceiling. He was in a convenience store and it was being held up, and this had to be the slowest robbery of all time. The shopkeeper was moving slowly, trying to stall for the police, and the robber was nervously pointing a gun at him, and at the occasional patron, and sometimes even Mello, seeming even more nervous when it made Mello actually yawn. He wondered if Kira would get this robber now or later.

"Hurry up!" the thief snapped shakily at the shopkeeper, who didn't hurry up, to Mello's dismay. "Hurry up!" He gestured with the gun and the employee moved only slightly faster.

Time crawled to a dead stop. Mello could feel his brain cells dying. He gazed sadly at the chocolate he was attempting to buy. It was the good stuff, and if he hadn't been part of this dumb stickup he could have been at home right now, eating it…

No. He was Mello, he was nuts and violent as hell, and he wasn't going to take this. He exploded. "Oh can we just-" Mello whipped out his own gun and pointed it at the robber. "Put down your gun and get the fuck out!"

The robber yelped, dropped the gun, and ran out of the convenience store.


Mello was lauded in the evening news, that night, as a hero, but he didn't know about it: he was too busy eating himself into his usual Friday-night chocolate coma.