AN: I've already tried once today to write my very first Torchwood fic. So far it has no direction so I'm leaving it alone and trying again. Put iTunes on shuffle. Write a fic based on the song. (I now spend a very long time trying to find a song that isn't a plot-centric show tune. Wow, had no idea how much of my iPod was show tunes. *yes I did*) Okay, from t.A.t.U., a cover of the song 'How Soon is Now?' originally by The Smiths. I heard once this song was used as the theme song for Charmed. Ohhh Ianto is here. Fun times.
UPTADE 7/25/09: I've fixed some typos/parts where I forgot what POV I was in. Thanks everyone for all the story faves! Thanks to you people, I'm considering writing some more 'Janto' song-fics and compiling them here. I would still appreciate a few reviews though, so if anyone has any pointers for me on how I can improve my writing, or even as bold as if you don't like my characterization of Jack (I'm really nervous about how I pull him off), leave a review!
Torchwood Hub. Day before Gwen's Wedding.
I am the son and the heir / Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar / I am the son and heir / Of nothing in particular
There's something oddly peaceful about keeping to myself in the tourist office every once in a while. Just organizing the pamphlets, keeping it tidy… reserved for when there isn't any other work to be done for the team, no dry cleaning to be done, no jackets that need to have yet another tear sewn up. It's just a time waster. Oh, and it's a splendid place to escape to when I'm… well, pissed off. I was alphabetizing the out-of-date information about the bus routes (we should probably update the material, just for appearances – every once in a while I do get a very lost tourist come in here looking for information on local niceties), keeping to myself. It was a good way to not think about a certain 'Captain'.
In traipses Mr. Tact himself, our resident corpse. "Oi." I looked up from my work, looking at Owen blankly. "I'm a bit peaky, and I'm getting tired of this bloody admin," he said with a huff, leaning against the doorframe of the entrance to the Hub, "so if you would just finish a bit up for me, that would be just lovely."
I couldn't help but give him a bit of an irritated look. "I'm a bit busy."
This caused Owen to look at me in disbelief, because obviously I never did anything around here. He walked briskly over to where I was, looking over my shoulder. "Organizing time tables?"
He had a point; it was an obviously unneeded task. But I really didn't want to go down into the Hub right now. "You know, we are a secret organization. And if we're going to keep it that way, we have to do something about our front."
Owen rolled his eyes at me. "Fine. Just… get it done for me, could you? And tell Jack to sod off, he's being all temperamental, and since you're his… whatever, you can make him shut it." He said all this as he was leaving for the exit, saying the last few words already through the door, shutting it with an indignant huff. Great. Apparently Jack was in a bad mood as well. Not my fault.
I wasn't letting him go that easy, going to the door and shouting out at him. "Where the hell are you going?!"
"For a walk," he shouted back, not even turning around.
I sighed, going back into the office and shutting the door. I went over to the desk, pushing the button to go down into the Hub. If I could just slip in and out…
When I came out through the lift and the rolling cog door, I was greeted with the sound of Jack's oh-so-melodic - no, annoying and barking voice. "…How difficult is it to find an alien in this city?! We can't just have lost the trace."
Tosh was at her workplace, typing away at her keyboard. "The rift has stopped, and I can't find the irregularity anymore." During Tosh's speech, I was making my way over to Owen's desk, grabbing a stack of papers that was on top of it. Yep, U.N.I.T. reports. "It's too faint to distinguish from all the other clutter and the Weevils. I'm trying to pinpoint it, but it'll take a bit of fine-tuning."
I wasn't even bothering to look at Jack, just making my way back out of the Hub to where my desk was up in the tourist office. "You do that, Tosh. We don't know what that was, and knowing our luck, it could be the end of the world." Just as I stepped into the lift, I heard Jack yell out, none too gently, "Ianto!" I ignored him.
Going back into the office, I sat down at the desk, looking through the forum on top, glaring at it, just strong enough for the inanimate piece of paper to know I wasn't happy with it. I didn't want to do bloody admin, I didn't want to deal with aliens. I especially didn't want to –
"Ianto," came the all-too-recognizable American accent. I sighed heavily, not looking up. "You've been avoiding me."
"Don't know what you're talking about, sir," I said curtly. I realized as soon as I said it I'd given myself away. He always knew I was mad at him when I stopped calling him Jack.
I didn't look up at him when I felt him behind me, leaning with both hands against the back of my office chair. "Ianto," he said, almost warningly.
I turned around, looking at him, and I knew it looked blank, but the fact that it was so forcefully blank made it obvious I was holding back. "Jack," I replied, restrained.
He looked at me for a moment, intensely. "Does this have anything to do with this morning?"
You mean your conversation with Gwen? About how if she's not entirely sure about the wedding, she could always talk to you, you know what she's going through, you're there for her, the way you stepped in close and brushed the hair out of her eyes… no, that's nothing. "Why do you think that?"
"Because you disappeared up here real quick after that. You can be real quiet when you want to be," Jack said with a grin. Bloody hell, he was attractive when he did that. But it didn't change the fact I was mad at him. "You're like a ninja," he said almost goofily.
I just gave him a sour look. "I have the tendency to go unnoticed." I picked up my ball-point pen, clicking the back so I could start filling out the forum. Date, Location… "Guess it comes with the practice."
Jack sighed heavily. "Ianto, you don't need to get so angry." He brought on his attitude he loves putting on when he wants to play teacher with his team, teach them a bit of a lesson. "Whatever it is, is it really worth it?"
This time, he got a full on glare, which shut him up good. "Will you just leave me alone right now?" I wasn't going to give in to that look he gave me right now, looking almost shocked. It wasn't because he was hurt, I knew that much; he was just stunned that his magic wasn't working on me.
Finally, he turned around, leaving me alone to work on the bloody admin. I glared at the paper a bit longer before getting back to work. It wasn't so awful, if I put my mind to it and just made it interesting. Surely it was better than being down in the Hub and therefore subject to being Jack's… lover? Fling? Plaything?
You shut your mouth / How can you say I go about things the wrong way? / I am human and I need to be loved / Just like anybody else does
Jack had listened to me, thank God. He left me alone. Unfortunately, the admin was not unending, and I was far too efficient when it came to paperwork (again, it came with practice, a lot like the going unnoticed), so I got back to organizing timetables. It was at that point that Owen decided to return, asking if I'd done the admin since I was doing the same thing I was doing when he left. Satisfied when he saw it was done, he sauntered back down. Once I decided that I'd spent enough time organizing the schedules, I gave the office a good dusting, realizing just how much time I was wasting and not really caring. Then I went into the back room of the office and organized some in there. Of course, then I got into pointless things, like rearranging the pencils so that the unsharpened ones were separated from the sharpened ones, and reorganizing all the false paperwork to fit into a single file cabinet. Gwen came up at some point that afternoon and left to go do some last minute preparations for tomorrow. I gave her a small smile. I wasn't angry at her, because I was rather positive she loved Rhys. I trusted her. I didn't trust Jack.
Did I really lay any claim to Jack, though? Did I have the right to be acting like a jealous boyfriend? Honestly? No, I don't think I did. But I still had the right to be angry. He was toying with me, and didn't even care. …Or he just didn't realize he was doing it. No, I shouldn't try and justify his actions. He should be up here doing that.
Except I told him to leave me alone.
I realized when Tosh came up that it must already be close to evening. I hadn't noticed the afternoon light through the windows growing dimmer. How long had I been stubbornly sitting up here?
"You doing all right?" Tosh gave me one of her quiet smiles. She was usually rather good at catching on to my little mood swings, when I did have them.
I shrugged. "I'm fine. You need anything else?" I just smiled at her, per usual.
She shook her head. So polite. "No, thank you, Ianto." She bade me farewell and headed out the exit for her flat. Well, that meant that only Owen and I were left. Aside from Jack, unfortunately.
And not long after, Owen came up, giving me a stack of completed paperwork for me to file away, barely giving me a nod goodbye. And you have a wonderful evening as well, Owen. It was a pleasure serving you.
Bugger. I kept trying to find things I could do before I finally gave up. I needed to talk to Jack. It had been eating up at me all day. I didn't want to, I wasn't looking forward to it, but I needed to. So I ventured down, adjusting my tie on the way down the lift, and sighed as the lift door opened.
Paper work in hand, I was already making my way over to Jack's office, because of course that's where it had to be filed, letting myself in without talking. Jack was on the phone with someone, sitting at his desk with his professional tone. "All right… and you're saying it looked 'bad'? You wouldn't be able to have any specifics would you? Something to work off of?" I ignored him (and he seemed to return suit) as I made my way over to the file cabinets, storing everything away. "I mean, in my vocabulary, 'bad' could be 'I spilled my coffee' and it could also mean 'I've been eaten by an alien.'" A pause. "…Oh…" Jack almost sounded abashed. "…he was eaten by the alien?"
I filed away the last manila folder, making my way for the door of the office to get the hell out of there. Just then, Jack covered the receiver with his hand, looking at me. "I've got a man-eating alien on the loose, and you haven't spoken ten words to me all day. Stay there." He got back to his phone conversation as I regrettably stayed where I was, facing the door still. "All right, and this was where?" He wrote down a few things, putting in a few 'uh-huh's before giving a final 'all right' and hanging up the phone. He paused for a moment, and I could almost sense the switching of gears. Like I was a new thing to deal with, akin to another alien threat. Instead of, you know, him feeling guilty?
"Ianto, I know you're mad me."
I couldn't help but laugh, though of course it was a bit bitter. "You're observant, sir."
"Will you cut the 'sir' crap?!" I turned around, giving him my restraining blank look. "I thought we'd gotten past this already… things have been…" Oh, the bastard, he had the gall to smirk. "…pretty good for us, haven't they?"
I just glared at him, and I couldn't hold it back anymore. Screw civility, I had to know. "Jack, am I your second choice?"
Jack paused, mouth gaping open slightly, as if I'd just asked him to run around the world in five seconds. "…Huh?"
I crossed my arms, glancing away while I spoke. "If you could, you would be with Gwen, wouldn't you?"
He didn't answer. Not for lack of trying, his mouth gaping open like an idiot, stammering. "I… Ianto, I… what??"
I couldn't handle it anymore. No answer was as good as 'yes' in this kind of situation. I gave him a nasty look, probably one of my best so far. "I'm going out. Deal with the man-eating alien on your own." I knew that would make Jack angry, I knew it was irresponsible, but if saving the world meant being within a mile radius of Captain Jack Harkness, then let the bloody world go to hell. I hurried out of the hub practically as quickly as I could, ignoring Jack's shouts. Fuck him.
I usually hated pubs. But this one had catchy music from what I'd heard from the team, so it was the first place I went. I wanted to be what Jack was every day: an insensitive bastard who could care less. It wasn't usually my style, fighting fire with fire, but hey, don't beat it before you try it, right?
It was all right music, I suppose. The only thing was I was pretty sure I could feel my ear drums vibrating from the volume. I needed to get out more. I made my way over to the bar, ordering a gin and tonic as I sat down on the bar stool and looked around. How exactly did one start with this sort of thing? There were bodies dancing in the middle of the dance floor, but I hadn't danced for ages; I'd need to work up a bit more courage before I went back to then. I tried to remember myself back when I was in college; I'd been a bit of a slacker, and had gone out to get piss drunk quite a few times.
So, that was my solution, wasn't it? I got my drink, taking a long sip from the glass. I hadn't had real liquor for quite some time, not really venturing outside of a beer here and there, a glass of red wine… bugger. I tossed my head back for another gulp, because the purpose of tonight was to NOT think about Jack. I was still nowhere near drunk though.
"Drowning away your sorrows, sweetheart?" I paused, looking to see a rather attractive young man beside me, clearly checking me out. I arched a single eyebrow at him. I hadn't been hit on by a guy before, outside of Jack. In fact, I'd never really thought any other men attractive before. Before Jack, I'd only dated girls. The young man's expression changed, looking a bit unsure. "I'm not barking up the wrong tree, am I?"
This is my chance. Don't give a bloody damn what Jack things, don't think about if he's worried right now about you, or if you should be at the Hub trying to help him… I gave him a little smile. "I haven't decided yet." Score one for Jones.
The new target of my flirtation smirked. "I'll see what I can do to fix that." He kind of reminded me of a bloke I'd worked with back in Torchwood London; he'd always trotted around bragging about his plentiful shags. Not like Jack, who you never knew if he was telling the truth or not and half the time was pretty sure he saw the whole thing as hilarious. No, this was one of those 'kiss and tell' folk. But his hair was nice. Kind of a swooping blonde. Oh, he'd dyed a streak of his bangs black. How hip of him. And he had a soft face, not harsh like Jack's… bloody hell, I was still thinking about Jack, wasn't I? The fellow held his glass out to mine. He had a Sidecar. Bloody hell. "Davey Trippet. Cheers, to your health." He had a chipper accent. Sounded like he was from Liverpool.
I shrugged, returning the toast. "And yours." We clinked glasses together, both taking sips, mine considerably longer than his. "Jones. Ianto Jones."
"Pleasure to meet you, Jones, Ianto Jones." I arched an eyebrow up at him, unable to forget a certain meeting that had a similar beginning. Nice to meet you, Jones, Ianto Jones. Captain Jack Harkness. "Where you from?"
I was swirling around the ice in my glass, watching it. "Newport. You from Liverpool?"
Davey laughed at that. "Pretty obvious, eh?" He took a quick swig from his drink. "I haven't seen your gorgeous face 'round here before. You come often?"
Well now. Davey was taking away my opportunity to make the first move. Didn't mean I couldn't respond. "First timer." I was still smiling lightly.
That black streak in his hair was kind of cute. Made me think he was one of those bold sorts who'd do nearly anything. "I should show you around then, shouldn't I? Be hospitable and all." That smirk on his face told me that he wasn't thinking about showing me anything clandestine. Yep, he was a bold sort.
I looked up at him, setting my glass down on the bar. It was nearly empty anyway. "Hospitable?" Yeah, I was calling him out on it.
He nodded, and his eyes glimmered with dirty thoughts. "You interested? I don't charge for gorgeous things like you." That was an obvious 'would you like to be my one-night shag' if I ever heard one.
Why the hell wouldn't I want to? This was exactly what I was looking for. Fuck the consequences, who cared? I bloody didn't. Jack didn't. I let my smile widen. "Sure. Lemme pay for my drink…"
But before I could whip my wallet out of my back pocket, Davey had stopped me. "I've got it." He whipped out a note from his front pocket, leaving it on the counter for the bartender and telling him to keep the change. He gave me one last smirk before getting up, jerking his head for me to follow him. "Shall we begin our lovely tour?"
Sure. Why not? He was pretty hot, and he was completely willing. Didn't mean a thing. If it didn't to Jack, it didn't to me. Why was I having to repeat that in my head over and over anyway?
There's a club if you'd like to go / You could meet somebody who really loves you / So you go and you stand on your own / And you leave on your own / And you go home and you cry and you want to die
Davey had me pushed up against the wall of his flat, pinning my shoulders there and kissing me like it was the end of the world and I was the last shag he would ever get. And I was kissing him back just as hard. We'd clarified that this was just a one-time deal, and that a condom would be used, and then before any more niceties were exchanged suddenly his shirt was off. He was a little wiry, but it was a definite contrast to what I was used to. And it wasn't like he wasn't strong… I was practically breathless he had me pinned so well.
Davey looped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, with my arms draped over his shoulders. Jack would be furious if he could see me now. He'd probably shoot Davey through the skull, and then lock me up in his office like I was a little prize of his that nobody else could play with. But he didn't have that control over me. He had no right.
"Mmm, Ianto," I felt Davey's lips move against mine, moaning out my name. "Wanna fuck you. Hard."
I merely nodded, and before I could say anything else, my pants were being unbuttoned.
What the hell.
Ianto, oh Ianto, you look so gorgeous like this… Jack, god please, right the-ah! Oh Jack… Ianto… Ianto Jones, you are beautiful…
Davey was kissing down my naked chest, his hand massaging my groin through my underwear. And suddenly it was utterly disgusting.
Curled up on the couch of the Hub, with Jack's arm around my waist behind me, caring and protective, still waking up, bashfully leaping up when Tosh walked in, getting to work… exchanging smiles, comments in private, whispered in my ear, Jack's smile…
"I have to go," I suddenly panted out, pushing a hand against Davey's shoulder, pushing him away from continuing his path with his mouth.
Davey looked up at me, looking at me like I was insane. "What?" I thought you said…"
"Changed my mind," I grunted, pushing myself away from him, tripping over my feet to pull my pants back up. Where did my shirt go?
The kid – holy shit, that's all he was, a kid – watched me while I started gathering up my clothes. "What brought this on? Too good for a casual fuck?"
Dammit, my shirt was wrinkled. I honestly didn't care at this point, I just wanted to get my clothes on and leave. Where's my vest?! I turned around to face Davey, buttoning up the shirt. "Honestly, yes."
Yeah, that was probably a pretty mean thing to say, but hell, it was just a one-night-stand, no reason to get too offended. But Davey was already changing his tactics, trying to turn up the sexual juice in the room again that had been there not five minutes earlier. "What, you need a kink to spice it up? Want me to talk dirty or shit like that?"
I just rolled my eyes. "Look, I have somebody, okay?" That was about as far from the reality of the situation I was in as I could have made it, but it was the only way to explain why I was leaving. I was already feeling like shit for backing out, but at this point I wasn't even excited any more, and I'm pretty sure, even if I would die if I didn't, I couldn't have had sex with Davey Trippet. I finally finished buttoning up my shirt and pulled on my vest, not bothering to button it up, just going over to the mirror to make sure my hair wasn't too horrible before turning back to Davey. "You're cute and all, but… I can't."
Davey sighed, rolling his eyes, sitting down on his bed and pulling off his shoes. He looked like he was about to just go to bed and give up. "Fine. You can let yourself out?"
"Yeah," I said, a little awkwardly. Bloody. Fucking. Hell. "Bye," I said hurriedly, letting myself out of the door, vest still unbuttoned and flapping in the air as I rushed away from Davey and his sex and his nothing.
Why did I think running from 'nothing' to even less would help? God, I needed to see Jack.
When you say it's gonna happen now / When exactly do you mean? / See I've already waited too long / And now my hope is gone
The cog rolled aside and let me into the Hub. I knew I looked like shit, but I needed to actually talk to Jack. I hadn't been fair before, leaving before he could even try to explain what was going on. I walked in to quite the scene.
"…getting married tomorrow! Owen, you can't do anything about this, can you?" Gwen's voice came from the medical bay.
"'Fraid not, love. That may end up scarring. You'll just have to wear a bandage down the aisle."
I thought everyone had gone home. I checked my watch. It was nearly ten o'clock. "What happened?"
Owen looked up to see me, then looked back to Gwen, proceeding to wrap up her arm in a bandage. "Shapeshifting alien bit her. Ate a bloke about two hours ago, Jack called me in, and we were able to get a hold of the trace and had Gwen go after it."
Gwen shrugged, looking a bit irritated. Understandably, she was supposed to be the beautiful bride. "And now I've got a bite the size of a grapefruit on my arm."
I shrugged, trying to cheer her up. "They can always Photoshop the bandage out of the pictures."
Gwen smiled at me. "Thanks, Ianto. I bet they can." She laughed. "And if they can't, I'm pretty sure you can!" She looked over my shoulder. "Right Jack?"
Bloody fucking HELL. I'm pretty sure Owen and Gwen noticed how I tensed up when I realized Jack was behind me. I closed my eyes. Breathe in. Slowly. Then let it out, slowly.
Jack beat me to the punch when it came to actually saying anything. "Ianto, can I talk to you?"
First I had to stuff my hands in my pockets. Brace myself for impact. I had no clue what dirty look he would be giving me right now. I had broken probably the biggest rule in Torchwood history: leaving without just reason. Right when a man-eating alien had been confirmed on the loose, at that. Then, I slowly turned around, and was shocked to see Jack standing there, looking almost… sad? I paused before nodding, and Jack motioned for me to follow him into his office. I followed, and I could already hear Gwen whispering to Owen, 'what the hell is going on with those two?' 'Dunno, they've both been chewing my head off all day…' Leave it to Owen, the master of dramatics.
Jack held the door open and made me go into the office first. I wasn't one for chivalry at the moment, but I followed his lead, walking in before him. Jack was right behind me, shutting the door after him. Then, he held his hand out for mine. I paused, looking at it for a moment. Two hours ago, I wanted to rip this man's head from his neck. Now, I was just confused. I didn't know what the hell I wanted. I didn't want to be the runner-up, but I couldn't even picture in my mind being with another living soul other that Jack. Then I saw that Jack was jerking his head to the corner of his office. I knew that corner well; it was the corner of his office that couldn't be seen through the walls of windows from the rest of the Hub, tucked away just enough that it gave a bit of privacy. I sighed, taking his hand.
He led me to that corner before finally looking me straight in the eye. He rested both hands on my shoulders. "Ianto, I'm sorry for whatever I did to you. I didn't mean to hurt you."
I know, Jack. The thing is, you can't help but hurt me as long as I know… "Jack, I don't know…"
Jack cut me off. "You shouldn't have stormed off. Should have let me finish." He grinned at me. "I forget sometimes how stubborn you are."
I tried to continue what I had been saying before. "I don't know why I'm even still doing this with you…"
Before I could get another word in, suddenly Jack's hand was on the back of my neck, pulling me in and kissing me. It was the kind of kiss we shared when the other needed comfort. It was a kiss that spoke plainly: I'm here for you, Ianto.
Oh yeah. This was why I still did it.
I didn't know exactly what I was doing, or why I was letting myself do it, but I kissed Jack back. It didn't matter any more. Jack was Jack, and I wanted him exactly the way he was. It's what made him so goddamn irresistible.
I am human and I need to be loved / Just like everybody else does
When we woke up in the morning, my clothes were strewn everywhere across Jack's room in the basement of the Hub. Nothing but a thin sheet covered us. It was dirty, it was unorthodox, and it sure as hell was not your typical romantic relationship. But I didn't really give a damn anymore. Because when I watched Jack wake up and he saw me looking at him and smiled – no, not his cocky grin, he smiled – he leaned up and kissed me softly. I would have liked to stay like that with him for hours. Screw the aliens and everything. I just liked being here with Jack. Just the two of us.
Jack's mobile rang on the bedside table next to us, and I groaned as he answered it. "Yeah… you're what?!" I cocked an eyebrow at his response. What the hell. Jack nodded. "I'll be right there." He was suddenly getting up out of bed, quickly fishing for clothes as I watched him in curiosity. Jack looked at me and arched his eyebrows. "Gwen says she looks like she's pregnant."
What the bloody hell?!
AN: That went well. Hooray! Review – be honest, tell me how I really did. It's been a while since I've done this, and I'm rusty. Help me get back in the groove and tell me one thing I can fix? Even as silly as a typo.