Well this only took about forever for me to write.
8/1/09 rip 'Killa' Cam I can't believe your gone. Watch over me.
You'll forever be in my thoughts and my heart.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters just the plot.
I sat up in the bed, it immediately thrashed around with my jerky movements. My arms were shaking uncontrollably and I didn't think that was normal. My whole body felt new in every sense of the word. The colors were more vivid, the contours of everything were sharper, reality seemed more appealing.
I lifted my hand up gripping my throat lightly as I struggled to breathe again. My mind scattered every which way as I began to panic. How had I forgotten how to breathe? My lips parted and choking noises escaped. They seemed like deafening screams to me but I'm sure were barely audible to human ears.
I tilted my chin upwards attempting to filter through the room once more. Everything appeared exactly the same. The curtains of the hotel room were open allowing the bright light of Paris to float in around us. My eyes immediately darted to my exposed flesh. Which happened to nearly be 80% of my body considering I was wearing the lingerie Alice had bought for me.
I was literally softly sparkling. Small diamond like beads were embedded into my skin, they would forever mark me. My cold fingertips traced aimless circles against my exposed skin. I felt no change in temperature, but that didn't seem to stop my fascination. I seemed to dazzle even myself. My mind grew cloudy and I could have sat there for hours if not for my small attention span and my need to examine everything.
My eyes flickered back towards the window then drifted down to the dress which now lay on the floor. It was even more beautiful now. I noticed details that I hadn't before. A small dove was stitched into the bottom of the gown. It wasn't out of place, but certainly blended in. The bead work wove vines around the corset like body of the white gown. It seemed to be made perfectly for me. I longed to reach down and stroke it and I probably would have if something else hadn't snagged my attention first.
The sweet enchanting aroma filled my nose. My mouth watered and my throat ached for me to satisfy this seemingly hopeless hunger. My hands clenched then unclenched at my sides. My lids drifted shut as I attempted to control my sudden urges to spring on the pray. My eyes shot open and flickered around the room landing on the sudden isolated heartbeat. It enchanted me as if it was now my caller. It was the only thing I wanted in the world.
It was the boy who sat upright in the chair who the heartbeat belonged to. His head lay in the palm of his hand and his eyes were closed. I narrowed my eyes letting my tongue slip out and dart across my petal soft lips. His chest heaved up and down slowly in almost a rhythmic way. It was as if he was calling me. I jumped up from the bed silently landing on the floor.
I crouched down giving my knees a slight bend. I hunched over lightly in an almost intimidating but graceful way. I stalked over to him as if he were my pray. The scent only got stronger and sweeter as I got closer to him. I reached out dragging the tips of my fingers across his forehead. The thin layer of sweat that covered his brow transferred to my fingers.
I leaned forward to examine him more. I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. My face was nearly pressed against his. He smelled sweeter than any flower or delicious treat I'd ever come across before. My eyes adjusted to the close proximity as I attempted to take in all of his features. I immediately took a step back giving a light gasp. I was sure if my heart was still beating that it would be racing within my chest.
This was my Edward, that I was sure of. He had the same perfectly messy hair. The sharp curves of his face were softened lightly. The bruise like bags under his eyes had disappeared. He had a faint creamy pink color to him now instead of that startling pale. He was still magnificently beautiful, especially now that he looked like a sleeping angel. A choking feeling built up in my throat once more and my eyes burned. I couldn't cry anymore but now I longed too.
My memories with him felt still and slow, as if they had occurred decades ago. His face was already blurred in my mind, and if he hadn't been in front of me then I probably would have forgotten his face. It hurt to think that way but then again I was also happy. Happy for him anyway. My Edward was getting a second chance at life. I sighed lightly because that simple sentence was bittersweet. I had become a vampire to be with him for all eternity and now he wouldn't be spending it with me.
I was completely alone in this new life.
"Edward." I called out softly. My voice was graceful and flawless. I felt so much different than before.
His body gently moved from side to side. His shoulders slumped slightly and his breathing became uneven. My brows furrowed finding sudden interest in examining his new actions. I had never seen Edward sleep. Edward's lids fluttered open revealing bright green eyes. My face contorted as I struggled to remember what being human felt like.
I could still feel the hollow burning from the night before; hunger I assumed. My chest felt as if I had literally exploded. Edward shifted around in his chair, his body immediately stiffened at the sight of me. His eyes grew wide like a deer caught in headlights.
"Bella?" he whispered his lips barely moving.
I gave a slow nod, well as slow as I could manage anyway. I could feel the thirst fade back in and then out again, I attempted to keep my thirst at bay. The newborn blood swirled in my veins which perhaps caused this strong want for him. I tried to recall the things he's said to me about my blood. All his words were groggy and my mind felt like it was just stuck. Stuck in this reality, and in this present.
Edward's cheeks flushed immediately but his eyes never left mine. I bit down on the inside of my lip as his heart beat pounded in my ears increasing with every passing second. Even now every part of Edward attracted me to him, he was like my own personal gravity.
I reached out to him stroking his cheek with the tips of my fingers. He looked a little shocked and gave a light shiver as if the room was cold. Sooner than I had anticipated the smell of his sweet soft skin assaulted me harshly. I flinched away retracting my hand as I did so; but soon found his warm fingertips tracing my face. He looked bewildered and astonished.
Edward's hand was so warm and I hadn't realized it but I longed for him to touch me this way. I just stared at him in attempt to capture this moment in my mind. He looked so enchanting. His skin didn't sparkle like mine and his eyes weren't the color of liquid gold. Yet he seemed to trump me in every way possible.
"What happened to us?" I choked out kneeling right next to the chair.
Edward's hands slowly trailed around my head before curling themselves in my soft hair. He stroked it and examined it closely as if it would fade away at any moment. Edward remained silent and seemed intently focused on me. His thumb traced the new found bags under my eyes, although they were light but still noticeable. He traced across the bridge of my nose to my now full lips. His thumb grazed across my bottom lip, pressing firmer against it than he had anywhere else.
I held my breath resisting the urge to bite his hand. My face felt hot as if his touch burned my marble skin. I was the exposed flesh and he was the burning flame upon my body. I reached out, covering his hand with my own in attempt to comfort the both of us.
"Edward, what happened to us?" I repeated slowly in a soft whisper.
His eyes locked with mine and his face grew closer to my own. Inch by inch he grew closer to me and I did nothing to stop him. He looked dazed and perhaps a little confused too.
"Bella, I'm human."
I pulled away from him suddenly falling back to the floor with a substantial thud. I refused to believe this trickery. This was perhaps still part of that faux reality I had been trapped in last night. I shook my head fiercely from left to right in a no manor. I simply wouldn't believe it.
My true Edward would be back any moment now. He had stumbled across this boy who looked exactly like him to test me. Yes that's it. He wants to test my will power. I would not let him down.
"You're not Edward." I growled out. The tone didn't sound like me. It was much too harsh, I wasn't capable of being like that.
He flinched away at the sound of my voice. Hurt and concern filled his bright eyes. Instantly I felt waves of regret rush through me at just the simple feeling of hurting him. He reached down towards me, his fingers wrapping themselves around my wrist. I wanted to pull away but the weight of the world seemed to crash down upon me. I felt immobile to say the least.
"It is me. I'm Edward." his voice was soft and soothing. He sounded like an innocent teenage boy who was becoming a man.
Suddenly he sprang up from the chair pouncing down upon me. His arms wrapped around me my torso, seeming to try to mesh our bodies together. I suppose his new found human self couldn't move me without my own will so instead he crushed his body against mine. The warmth sparked between us in as many ways as possible.
I felt shocked to say the least. The Edward I remembered was always tender, and would never jump on me. His forehead rested against my own and his warm breath blew against my face. His fingers gingerly rubbed my lower back.
I tried to relax some at this contact, and I got to the point where it was safe enough to wrap my arms around him in return. I rested against him, never sharing the full weight of my body. I strained to remember the things Edward did with me, but I had no luck. I resorted to treating him as if he were a piece of glass that had already been broken once before.
"I love you." he breathed out seemingly breathless.
Had I acted this way around him when I was human? If I could blush I probably would of been as red as an apple. I sighed lightly allowing my eyes to drift shut. It was funny how that even when Edward was the human he had better control over himself than I did.
"I love you too." I whispered back.
Our bodies felt as if they were meshed together as one now. The warmth from his touch provided comfort. He shivered lightly every few minutes or so but I decided finally that it was normal.
'He would grow used to my cold exterior with time.' With that passing thought it reminded me of what we had to do next.
"We need to call Carlisle." I said pulling away from him.
Edward frowned at me breaking the contact between the two of us. I suppose now that my blood didn't call to him he could afford to be selfish. His scent hit me in harsh waves as he nodded his head. I made a sour face motioning for him to get up. I needed to put the distance between us for now. I surely didn't want my love to end up dead.
Edward made his way to the dresser where his phone sat. He studied himself in the mirror carefully first. I could tell he was shocked by his eyes and perhaps his expression in general. Although I secretly wondered if he was aging. Just the thought of him getting a tiny bit older sent thrills through me, this was truly a miracle.
Edward tore his face away from the mirror to reach out for the cell phone. He flipped it open and immediately began trying to type the numbers with speed and grace. I stifled my laughter at his annoyed expression. Apparently things hadn't gone too well for him.
He finally got the combination of numbers right, pressing the phone firmly against his ear.
"Edward my son. How are things?" Carlisle asked cheerfully. His voice seemed crystal clear
"Oh Carlisle we have some problems." Edward said his brows furrowing at his own statement.
I stood up and attempted to avoid any eye contact with Edward. I opened the suitcase with ease and just slipped on the first thing that was packed. It happened to be a green button up shirt that belonged to Edward.
"What's the problem Edward?" the happy tone Carlisle once held was completely gone.
"I'm human." Edward said simply.
I gazed at myself in the mirror for the first time. I had blood red eyes which was horrifying if I do say so myself. My hair looked softer and silkier My skin was paler if that was even possible. I suppose I just radiated a different aura. Beauty, confidence yet shy and sweet.
Carlisle gave a hearty laughed at Edwards statement. "Oh Edward you almost had me fooled for a second."
"Carlisle this is no laughing matter." Edward said a bit flustered.
The phone grew eerie and completely silent at Edward's statement.
"You must come home immediately." Carlisle said sternly. "We will all meet you at the airport at four o'clock tomorrow afternoon."
"Thank you." Edward replied simply about to hang up.
"Wait I want to talk to him!" Esme said in the background taking the phone.
"Edward dear." Esme said sweetly.
"Don't be scared Edward. We love you and everything will be fine." I myself even found comfort in her words.
Edward's eyes found mine. "Bella and I love you too. And I trust things will work out."
With that Edward hung up the phone and began walking towards me. I just kind of stood there, mostly amazed by him. His feet were heavy against the carpeted floor, slightly dragging beneath him. His hand reached out for mine and I gladly accepted the invitation.
He attempted to tug me into his arms but it didn't quite workout and probably just made his arm sore. I smiled lightly before stepping forward into his embrace. His warm arms seemed to save me. I didn't feel so lost anymore.
Edward gazed down at me, despite all that had happened to us he looked happy. I could feel the corners of my mouth pull downwards into a slight frown.
"Your wondering why I'm still happy right?" he asked me the same crooked smile planted to his face.
I suppose my bewilderment beat me to my answer because now he was laughing at me. "Just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you aren't the same old Bella. I can still mostly read your expressions." he added.
I frowned at him now resisting the urge to squeeze his waist. That would probably end up with a few broken bones, and none of them being mine.
"Well to answer your first question. You're still my wife Bella, this is still my honeymoon. I love you and just being around you, no matter the situation is good enough for me."
I opened my mouth then closed it once more. I was at a loss for words. He was completely right, and yet all wrong at the same time. I sighed opening my mouth once more to give protest at his words. His face swooped down growing closer to mine. He crushed our lips together his hands now finding themselves under my shirt.
He tugged the shirt up lightly revealing my lower back and some of my stomach. His hands stroked and pushed hard against my back pinning us together. My arms wrapped around his neck in attempt to deepen what we were already doing.
I found myself craving every part of him. My body burned once more and the hunger pains were now gnawing at me. It felt like real physical pain but I refused to break from Edward. One of his hands left my back in effort to unbutton the front of my shirt.
He fumbled with the buttons at first but soon I felt his body directly on mine. He pushed against me tightly and almost roughly. I had longed for this so many times, and now just when I got my wish, just us even touching hurt me. He pulled his lips away from mine trailing kisses down to my neck. His hands pushed my hair out of the way as his lips trailed lower. He pushed my shirt down off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
My eyes snapped open at the sudden realization. I was so ready but so unready for all that was happening to us. I wanted to try this with Edward, but I would kill him if we tried it now. I took a sharp jerky step back and continued on until my back hit the post of the bed. My chest heaved violently up and down taking in unneeded breaths. I frowned at him as I clutched my throat.
Edward nearly stumbled to the floor but quickly stood up straight. His shirt was unbuttoned too and his hair was messy. His cheeks burned a red color, as the blood flushed through his face. I clutched my throat tighter in effort to cool the burning feeling.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were filled with disappointment as well as his features. He pulled his eyes away from mine and turned away from me. He was focused on buttoning his shirt and something else.
"We should probably start packing." he said walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.
I sunk to the floor slowly, and connected with the carpet with a less than quiet thud. I hugged my knees to my chest burying my face in them. My eyes burned once more and hollow sobs escaped my lips. My body was shaking almost violently now and I suppose this was what its like to be a vampire. You didn't have sadness or tears in this dead life.
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