Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Setsuna, or Minako. I wish I did, dammit.
Author's Note: For those who don't know, 'shotgun' is a term often used to claim the front passenger seat of a car. The full term is usually something along the lines of 'I call shotgun', but it can also be shortened to just 'shotgun'.
There were times in life, it seemed, that the universe as a whole was laughing its ass off when it came to the life of Meioh Setsuna. She was quite used to being the butt of the cosmic joke, and accepted it with a grace that would have been considered beyond her years if she wasn't practically as old as the universe itself. Because she was, in fact, quite old, and willingly admitted it when her pride was a little low. She would eventually go to her grave denying it, but it was the truth.
It shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone, then, that despite her general shyness about the matter Setsuna was perhaps the most experienced at relationships. She'd had her fair share of them over the years, enough to even put Haruka to shame if she ever so chose to come clean about it. She simply chose not to because when push came to shove, not all of her relationships had been about love; more than half the time she'd done what she'd had to do for her duty as Sailor Pluto and the Guardian of Time.
(Well, except for that one time with the princess of Neptune. It hadn't been love, not by a long shot; more like close friendship, but damn, it had been good.)
Setsuna didn't like talking about her experience for two reasons: one, she was still shy and reserved about the matter no matter how many times she'd gone through it, and two, the fact that physically she appeared to be the same age as Mamoru didn't give much credit to any story she could tell; even if Haruka and Michiru believed what she said, she'd be hard pressed to tell the same thing to the Inners.
Then again, she'd be slightly drunk when she'd told Haruka and Michiru…
And Haruka always did enjoy putting Setsuna in awkward positions.
Within the confines of her own mind, paying no attention to the bumps of the road or the fact that they were going twice as fast as the speed limit, Setsuna pondered the best way of killing Haruka. Currently, it was a toss-up between jumping back in time to ensure a car crash and just bashing her head in with the Time Staff.
"What's the matter, Sets?" Her left arm resting against the open window as the wind played with her hair, Haruka grinned innocently. "You look like you're thinking deeply about something."
"Haruka-san!" Usagi wailed from the backseat, wedged uncomfortably between Rei and Ami; Hotaru was on Rei's other side, and seemed to be the most comfortable because of her generally small size. "How fast are we going?!"
"Fast enough to get to our destination in twenty minutes, kitten."
"B-but!" Ami's voice was a yelp. "Michiru-san said on the phone last night that the hotel is at least an hour away!"
Haruka shrugged, expertly weaving her way through traffic. "Well, whatever," she said mildly. "How you holding up in front, Minako-chan?"
And here was the reason Setsuna was calmly contemplating murder: because there was no room in the back and Minako had wanted, desperately, to come to the concert with her friends, Haruka had come up with the genius idea of letting her ride shotgun.
On Setsuna's lap.
Murder suddenly seemed too kind. Maybe Setsuna could torture her…
"I'm fine, Haruka-san." At the very least, Minako had the decency to keep still as she sat huddled in Setsuna's lap, seeming quite at ease with the whole arrangement; she was leaning back easily against the older woman so her head rested against Setsuna's shoulder, completely relaxed in her arms—even if the fact that she was wearing only a short T-shirt and even shorter shorts drove Setsuna crazy. Too much skin, the older woman thought. Way too much skin, even if they'd been dating for several months now. Minako tilted her head slightly to look at Setsuna, smiling. "Unless Sets-chan is having a problem…?"
"No problem," Setsuna replied smoothly, allowing herself the brief luxury of Minako's cheek against hers, how natural it felt.
Pleased with herself and the world in general, Haruka nodded sagely. "See, Minako-chan? Told you Setsuna wouldn't mind."
No… no, murder was probably the best course of action. Using the Time Staff would leave too much blood… but damn, would it feel satisfying.
"Though I must ask, Haruka, isn't this illegal?" Setsuna asked, tightening her grip slightly on Minako as Haruka made a hard, fast turn that would have sent the car spinning if anyone else had attempted it, Ami, Rei, and Usagi screaming like little girls in the backseat and clinging to each other while Hotaru looked at them oddly. "I always believed there was only supposed to be one person in the passenger's side."
Haruka laughed. "Setsuna, the speed I'm going at, no cop's gonna catch us," she said playfully. She turned the wheel and swerved sharply around another car, causing Setsuna to once again hug Minako tightly to her to keep the blonde from falling flat on her face.
Perhaps Setsuna could torture Haruka first, then kill her.
It wasn't as if Setsuna was a sex fiend; she certainly wasn't, and as such respected the fact that she had no right to lay a hand on Minako until the girl was of age and mentally ready for such a thing. It certainly wasn't far off, seeing as Minako was already sixteen.
But she was human too, dammit. And it'd been years—no, centuries—since her last time.
And then Haruka did the thing that sealed her fate; zooming towards a light, she realized a second too late that it had turned red, and jammed on the brakes. Screams and squeals came from the backseat of the car, and in the front Setsuna suddenly found herself squashed against the seat, holding on to Minako for dear life.
It took her several seconds to realize where her hands were, as she'd buried her face into Minako's hair so as not to witness her life flashing before her eyes. When it did, she groaned softly and turned the brightest shade of red possible.
Her right arm had snaked tightly around Minako's waist to keep the girl still, but in order to properly brace for any kind of impact her hand was dangerously close to the blonde's left breast; not quite groping it, but damn close. Her left hand rested against Minako's right thigh, and Setsuna was damn grateful that Minako was giggling quietly to herself, small breathless sounds of laughter as the older woman hastily rearranged her hands before Haruka stopped cursing and making obscene hand signals to see what had just happened.
Forget the torture. Setsuna was going to murder Haruka, simple as that. She could always apologize to Michiru later.
"Are you all right?" Minako's voice was soft, just loud enough for Setsuna to hear as the light changed green and Haruka proceeded to once again break every speed limit within the vicinity.
"If this is too much, I can ask Haruka-san to pull over for a second. I'm sure Rei-chan wouldn't mind if I sat on her lap instead."
The image had Setsuna sliding a narrow-eyed look at the raven-haired girl in the backseat. "I said I'm fine. She's a little preoccupied with Usagi-chan, anyway."
Setsuna knew the past was the past, but the memory of going head-to-head with Rei over Minako was still fresh, and she wasn't trusting of the girl's motives just yet; even if she seemed to have turned her true affection to Usagi, who had claimed her heart from the beginning in such a way that Rei didn't even realize it until she'd pursued Minako.
Minako giggled again and leaned back, pressing her cheek against Setsuna's. "You're so cute when you're all jealous and protective," she whispered into the older woman's ear. "I love it."
The warmth of Minako's breath against her ear was doing funny things to Setsuna's head; she was having a damn hard time thinking clearly. "Minako," she said mildly, "if you keep talking like that, I'll be tempted to revert back to my teenage days."
Minako smirked, absently trailing her fingers along Setsuna's leg and enjoying the hiss of breath as the older woman inhaled sharply. "Nothing wrong with reverting," she murmured, her blue eyes promising things to come. "Nothing at all."
Setsuna understood immediately; this was Minako's way of telling her she was ready. With a groan of suffering she dropped her forehead to Minako's shoulder even as the girl lifted a hand to stroke her hair. "At the very least, have the decency to let me say hello to Michiru first," she muttered. "She's been nagging me nonstop on the phone about Haruka and Hotaru ever since she left. She wants to know what's happened while she's been away."
Minako's smirk became a grin, and she lowered her hand to lightly stroke Setsuna's neck. "You can say hello," she said. "But afterwards, Sets-chan, you're all mine."
Despite everything, Setsuna laughed softly, and she was loud enough to make Haruka look at her suspiciously. "What's so funny?" the senshi of the wind asked.
"Nothing, Haruka. Nothing at all."
Maybe she wouldn't murder Haruka, after all.
I now apologize if Setsuna is OOC. I suddenly had the idea of writing her like this and tried to keep her as true to character as possible, but I don't know if I succeeded. Still, it was damn fun to write. Also... don't ask me why Makoto didn't come along. I needed an excuse to get Minako into the front seat, and four people is usually the limit for the back seat of a car that's Haruka's size.
There are vague references to some background leading up to Sets and Mina becoming a couple here, but don't be surprised if I never touch it. I just wanted to make it clear that this story isn't in the timeline of any of my other Sets/Mina works.
Read and review, please!