A/N: Thanks for all the awesome and encouraging reviews for the last outtake - especially considering I wasn't so sure about it. Here's the second outtake - I've often been asked to explain what Emmett's thinking concerning all the animal nonsense, so this is a brief look into his mind concerning that - it isn't long, and it's not really a 'comedy' outtake...just some insight into why the heck he does what he does - or sort of, anyway. Again, it's not great but nonetheless, please be kind. Thanks!
Outtake: Emmett's Thoughts on the Animals
When this whole week had started, I'd been in a sort of shock that Carlisle thought it was wise to let a bunch of vampires watch of over a whole group of kids. I mean I understood why Rose was excited, but for the rest of us? This was definitely a crap deal. That was what I had thought…as it turned out, I couldn't have been more wrong.
These kids were great! Mine were anyway – a whole group of boys that loved nature and animals and slimy things – I thought they'd be whining about their mommies or something the whole time, but I'd been way off. Alice's group was a little weird, but I think that could really be blamed on Alice herself and not her campers…Alice has a way of effecting everything around her.
As far as my wife…well I don't think I've ever seen her happier, which made me so glad we'd been sent here. I know she's always wanted children more than anything, and it was the one thing I couldn't give her, which truthfully broke my heart. My Rosie deserved everything, and yet she was permanently denied the thing that she wanted most. As soon as we'd arrived and I'd seen the look on her face as she greeted all those little girls, I'd made up my mind to let her be for most of the week so she could really enjoy the moment for what it was – it was temporary, after all, and my usual clinginess would only get in the way. I could at least give her that – I could back off and give her some space for one week – I'd be sure to make up for that lost time when we got home, anyway.
Bella was a riot to watch – she'd had her usual luck and was assigned the clumsiest kid in camp, which made for lots of hilarious moments – one of them being Edward's panic upon realizing Sophie and Bella would be together all week. My bro can freak out over the craziest things – if you ask me, I thought it was awesome – one more way to make the week more entertaining. It's not like any of us would actually let them get hurt, for crying out loud. I hoped after Edward got on with the whole changing Bella thing he'd chill out and learn to just have fun like the rest of us and quit shadowing her everywhere she went.
Too bad for Bella Edward's over protectiveness was the least of her issues this week; that idiot Newton was a counselor too, and it was like he was trying to do everything possible to annoy the crap out of me. He was taking every opportunity to hang all over my little sis and that was not cool…as irritating as Edward could be, Bella was his – and part of our family. And something about sloth-boy Mikey just didn't get that. After his first couple of wrong moves I'd taken it upon myself to make it my goal to humiliate him as much as I could this week. Hell, if he was going to embarrass Bella the way he was, and if he was going to possibly cause Edward to lose his cool and rip Newton's head off, I figured it was the least I could do – besides, it did help to fill in the gaps of nighttime when my boys were sleeping. They were incredibly boring when they were sleeping.
I'd realized pretty early on that Simon had an over eagerness for animals…when he'd arrived and was all upset about leaving Boots at home, but then explained he'd only had room for Sammy and Fred…yeah, I knew things would get interesting. Because honestly? When I saw those two Guinea Pigs peeking out of the tiny cage in his bag I'd felt bad for them – they just wanted to stay with Simon. When he said his parents weren't very good at remembering to feed them I knew he'd made the best decision – we would take care of them. I told Simon about how my family had camped before and I'd found all kinds of little critters that needed help finding their way home or help finding food…that had gotten him all wound up. He started talking about how there were probably all kinds of animals just like that here in these woods too, which got me thinking…but just as quickly I remembered Rose, and knew that I'd better stay in line and under her radar so she could have a carefree week. I'd told Simon we'd better just watch out for Sammy and Fred and leave it at that. Too bad things didn't stay that way for long…
I know everyone thought I was crazy on our last camping trip; we're vampires – vampires who eat animals – yet here I was, hanging out with animals and helping them along. I didn't know how to explain it, really. I think it was something that came from my human life – I'd been a mountain boy, and I'd loved the outdoors. I'd loved animals and getting my hands dirty. Hell, that was how I almost got killed – I'd been so surprised to come across that massive bear in the Smokies that I'd been frozen in shock, and it had attacked before I could react. I'd been just outside of Gatlinburg and I was hiking though the state park, but I'd gone off trail in search of a waterfall and all of a sudden, there he was. I don't remember much of anything else except flying through the air being carried by a heavenly angel – who turned out to by my Rosie. My girl had taught that bear a thing or two.
Anyway, small animals to us were just not appealing – Edward had tried to explain that to Bella before, how they weren't really something we consider to be a food source. Now you get into your larger animals…mountain lions, deer, and of course bears – well, that was entirely different. Their strength, power and blood called to us – whereas a house cat or raccoon's just didn't.
Not long after camp began Simon had been finding all sorts of things around our cabin and in the woods – salamanders, squirrels, you name it – and kept pointing out that maybe they were lost like the animals on my other camping trip had been. I had to admit that at first I resisted, assuring him they were fine, but once the idea was in my head I had a hard time letting it go. What if they were? Simon and some of my other kids had been talking at night in the cabin before bed about how we could have a sanctuary in our cabin for lost animals, and how their families would track their scent down and find them here – if they stayed in one place it would be easier for them to find their lost loved ones. I had to admit it made sense to me…if the lost animals kept running around all over the place how would they ever be found? Best to keep them in one place – it would be easier for everyone. And so our cabin was transformed…of course I'd made sure Rose wouldn't notice, but it turns out she wouldn't have noticed much of anything – she was so lost in her kids that I could have walked around with a squirrel tucked under my arm and she wouldn't have noticed. Not that I would have taken that chance, but I bet I could have. I began gathering all the little lost things Simon pointed out, and even some I found on my own while making the journey from our cabin to Jasper's at night. The possum had been a nice surprise for the kids…that and the flying squirrels. I'd had a hard time explaining exactly how I'd managed to catch those…I couldn't exactly tell them that I'd leapt from tree to tree and jumped off a cliff after one that seemed particularly lost and distressed. No, I'd just told them that the little guys must not have felt up to flying cause they were so sad – and once they started zipping all around the inside of our cabin the boys had all cheered, saying how they must feel much safer and happier now that they were here.
Then I'd found poor, neglected Spaz. He was starving – trying to dig through the trash outside the mess hall like a scavenger. He'd been really upset when I'd approached him – must have been sure I was after his food – but once I got a hold of him he seemed to forget the food and was more interested in playing, taking wild swipes at me. I'd never really considered getting a cat before but once I had him in my arms I had a hard time imagining setting him free – he looked so messed up that I could only assume he'd been on his own for a long time. He really looked quite close to death to be honest. He was scrawny, his coat all blotchy, and when the light hit him he had scars all over him - kind of like Jasper. I bet he'd had to fight his fair share of forest bullies. Turns out he was a bit of a scrapper and liked to play rough, which I thought was funny. He'd swipe his claws, hiss, howl and do the cutest imitation of a growl…it was hilarious.
When I'd first got him back to the cabin we'd had a couple problems with the other animals, so it became clear he couldn't really stay free in there at night. Some of the kids asked what was wrong with him, which made me feel sort of defensive – this was possibly the worst case of neglect and possibly the most impressive case of survival I'd ever seen – there was nothing wrong with him, he was a warrior – a fighter. Nonetheless, I kept him separate at night so we wouldn't have any more issues…just trying to catch the Guinea Pigs that one day had caused enough commotion to attract Rosie's attention, and we didn't need that. And Spaz did seem to have a lot of interest in those Guinea Pigs.
Then that one night I'd thought I'd take Spaz to Jasper's to let him be out at night and have some free play time, but they'd all been so stupid about him. A freaking harmless cat and they were all complaining and overreacting. I would have thought Edward would be more open to the idea of Spaz…I mean cats and dogs don't get along, so if we took Spaz home and let him live around our house, it would be an automatic Jake deterrent if he ever came back, right? If nothing else we could watch them chase each other around the yard for hours.
The only one who seemed unbothered by Spaz was Bella – another reason why she was becoming my favorite sibling, she didn't want to kick him out, and she wasn't afraid of him. She was always so accepting – unlike those other sad excuses for family that were at Jasper's that night. They'd upset poor Spaz so much that he'd ended up running off into the woods and it took me forever to find him again.
Now, as I sit here thinking about tomorrow – the last day of camp - I wonder what will happen after we get back home. Rose busted us today, and she royally ticked off, but she is apparently waiting to kill me until she says goodbye to her kids tomorrow. Of course they are her priority right now, no matter how mad she is at me – and she is definitely mad. It's almost odd that she's so preoccupied with the girls – but I wasn't about to complain. Public humiliation in front of a bunch of ten year olds wasn't something I'd like to experience, so if she was going to let the ax fall back at home so be it.
Only problem was I was in a bit of a situation – apart from the Rosalie problem, that is. Simon and I had become good buddies, and we'd been talking a lot. If we were able to have this awesome sanctuary in a space as small as this crappy cabin, just think of what we could do with the land behind my family's home…I'd told him about how vast the woods were, and how there were no neighbors to get irritated. I probably shouldn't have gone on so much, but the little guy's excitement was catching and before I knew it we were making big plans. Big plans that were going to threaten my life and marriage – big plans that were not only going to tick off my wife, but my entire family. The way I saw it though, after years and years and years, what had I really done other than drive Esme crazy by breaking half of the furniture in the house due to wrestling matches that usually came from us being bored, sit in high school over and over again, sit around the house playing video games – which often lead to breaking more things - or some other meaningless thing? How could they be angry if I was doing something helpful and useful? I just had to wonder if they would see things the same way…because either way, I was sure to have lots of opinions flying my way when they discovered my plans for my new project: The Shelter for Homeless and Neglected or Otherwise Unfortunate Animals. One thing was for certain - the ride home was sure to be hell. I wonder if Edward would let me ride in his car.
A/N: Please review.