Ch 5: A fight!

I do not own Naruto or Lord of the Rings.

Naruto fealt something strange as he held the sword in his hands. A strange sense of familiarity, as if he knew what he needed to do next. He got into a stance, not a brawler one, mind you, but the stance of a person who may know what he is doing.

'Wait a second... I seem to be forgeting something...' Sauron thought, remembering an action done in a time long past. 'Ah, screw it. It'll come to me eventually.' He said to himself.

"So, you going to come first, or are you waiting for me?"

"Erm, just a second, before you do." Sauron stated, "We need to loudly proclaim that this is a duel of honor and to set up some rules." The bun-haired girl looked over to Naruto, who in turn, shrugged.

"And why do we need to do that?" The bun-haired psychopath was now getting a bit more annoyed; all she wanted to do was- "Because," Sauron says, cutting her off, "If we don't make this look official, then those angry looking ANBU on the rooftops just may find some new toys for Torture and Interrogation department."

She looks up, and indeed, ANBU were looking down on them like hawks... and not the nice kind, either. "Errm, yea, we better make up some rules. Any suggestions?" Sauron smirks, "As a matter of fact, yea."

"Uzumaki house rules: No nin-jutsu, no gen-justu, no strength boosting ninja tools, like food pills. Tai-jutsu and kekkei genkai and weapons with effects are o.k. as long as they do not involve gen-jutsu or nin-jutsu. Agree to the terms?"

"Heh, it's fine by me!" The girl was really getting fired up now; the Uzumaki house rules were right up her alley. However, something was bothering Naruto...

"Yes, son?" Says Sauron, sensing his sons' inner turmoil. "Yeeeaaa, dad... when did we have house rules?"

"Is that all? Well, it's a long story, but simply put, the Uzumaki clan was not a clan that regularly used generic jutsu and genjutsu. We rely on weapons and taijutsu."

Naruto nods, even if he was a fake Uzumaki, Sauron has been around for a long, long time. It was possible that what he said wasn't a lie, and he learned the rules during some point in time. Besides, even if it was a lie, then he could make those the official clan rules, if he so wanted to. Nodding, he says, "Okay, I'm ready to fight whenever y'all are." He adjusts himself into a fighting stance, relying completely on that strange sense of familiarity in the back of his head.

"Finally! Let's get this show on the road!" Yells the, now irritated, bun-haired girl.

Everyone quiets themselves now. All of the civilians stopped, and gathered around, eager to see a fight. The ever-quiet, ever-watching ANBU gets ready to intervene, should the duel get out of hand.

Naruto was breathing hard, each breath carrying oxygen into the lungs, into the blood streams, and into the muscles. He had his sword hand to the right, at the ready, and his left arm in front of him, as if holding a sheild... but he had no sheild, and thus had feelings of incompletion, a voice in the back of his head saying: 'something's missing'.

Across the silent street, the bun-haired girl held her katana in front of her, with her feet at shoulders-width. It was a common stance for the general samurai. With a mighty roar, she charges forward!

Surprisingly, to Sauron, Naruto does not run to meet her. He just stands there... at the ready... like... a soldier from his home realm... weird. There was that nagging feeling in the back of his head, again.

The bun-girl, as Naruto calls her, slashes horizantally as she gets in combat range. A swish and a clang is heard, as he adroitly deflects her sword with his own! Not giving up the assault, bun-girl goes for a diagonal! Block. A horizantal block from the left! Block. And a verticle slash from below! Naruto jumps backwards and blocks.

'What gives? How and why is that... dingy of a sword standing up to my superior steel!' She yells as she tries a stab, only for Naruto to block with the flat of his sword. 'An opening!' Swipe! She trips up Naruto and sends him to the ground, only for him to kick out with his feet as well and send her falling on top of him!

"Hehe, well, I didn't know you cared that way for me." Naruto jokes at their... compromising position. Bun-girl growls angrily, rolls to the left, grabs her sword, and tries to chop off an arm.

Clash! Naruto stops the swords descent with his own, and leaps to his feet. Breifly, he thought of following up with his sheild arm, but he shook the thought away; he didn't have a sheild! Unless... he looks around, and quickly formulates a plan.

Right now, the bun-girl was catching her breath. After all, she put everything she had in those strikes. Naruto winces slightly, his arm was a little numb from the blows, but he shook it off. Quickly, while she was distracted, he darted to the left. A little off guard, bun-girl hesitated for only a second or two, and then was hot on his heels.

Naruto ran towards a nearby fruit stall, more specifically, a wooden barrel full of produce. Reaching his destination, he quickly yoinks the lid of the barrel. " 'Sceuse me, borrowing this, thank-you!" He panickly yells and runs to the right, the bun-girls' blade chopping the produce barrel in half not just a second later. Reaching his next destination, he grabs the metal lid off a trash can and runs to the left, again, the bun-girls' weapon cutting the object he stole from. This time, however, she got stuck.

"Aaargh, dammit!" She yells, while Naruto in the background shapes and fastens the two lids into a make-shift sheild. Finishing his product with a grunt of success (the crafting lessons with Sauron helped him immensly, he realizes), he puts on the sheild, and walks towards the middle of the fighting ring; sport-fully waiting for his opponent.

Finally, bun-girl dislodges her katana from the offending trash can. She swiftly spins around and charges Naruto. Of coarse, now Naruto had a sheild. Now his stance looked more professional. Now, that feeling in the back of his head was complete. Now, he was on the offense.

As soon as the bun-girl got within three meters, she swung down, vertically. Naruto raises his sheild and slaps the sword away, simultaneously swinging his shortsword horizontally. Noticing the error, she jumps back with impressive acrobatics, and avoids a potentially fatal blow.

Meanwhile, something clicked in Saurons' head. 'That's it! I remember now! A century or so, I gave the Uzumaki clan a small bloodline as a show of gratitude! It was the ability to instinctually know the basics of how to use any bladed weapon, if I remember correctly... heh, looks like I won't have to intervene after all.'

Meanwhile, the adrenaline was pumping full blast, as the two swordsmen were delivering blows with great ferocity! "Dang, they're going all out." An ANBU says. "Yes, however, they are not using any techniques, they're just guarding and striking. It's so noobish it's sad." Another states.


The sound reverberated throughout the entire area. Naruto was on his knees, his sheild in two peices, and his arm with a severe laceration. Need less to say, there was blood.

"Ha! I win!" The bun-girl says triumphantly.

"Not yet, ya havent!" Naruto yells as he dashes in for a jab. Clang! The two swords collide with a metallic song; the bun-girl had Naruto nearly pushed to the ground.

His adrenaline nearly depleted, Naruto had to find a way to beat his opponent quickly! Then he remembered something: that metallic song-like noise. He remembered what Sauron told him about that noise.

'That's the sound of a sword crying.'

'What? Haha, swords don't cry, dad; even I know that!' Naruto's ridicule was met with a soft, yet stern, blow to the head. 'Naruto, dad's right. Though the many ringing, almost song-like noises a sword makes sounds nearly the same, they all have minute differences, with very different meanings.' Kyuubi explains.

'Ohhh... umm, can you show me an example of them all? You know, so I can tell one from the other, and stuff.' Both Kyuubi and Sauron smiles, causing Naruto to mentally sigh. This will be a whole lot of work, he could feel it...

It was hard work, but now, it was worth it. Now, Naruto has a strategy. Gathering all his energy, he puts his gambit into motion.

Naruto heaves up, surprising the bun-girl momentarily, just enough time to let him do his thing. Quick as the wind, Naruto makes many a slash, aimed directly at bun-girls' katana. The cry of a punished sword echoes through out the air, the crowd watches with an overflowing interest, and the ANBU were having some popcorn. Sauron smirks, 'this is gonna be good.'

Having enough, the bun-girl tries for one more swing... it was just as Naruto planned. Gathering what was left of his energy, he put all his strength in one final blow.

Another song was heard, only this time accompanied by a metallic breaking sound.

They were both still in post-strike position, one with a look of triumph, the other of disbeleif. One with an intact obsidian shortsword, the other with a broken katana.

Standing up, he, the victor, pointed his sword at her neck and uttered just two words:

"I win."

The crowd broke out into cheers, happy with the duel, and Sauron strode forward to congradulate his son. The ANBU on the rooftops were similarily having the same reactions, jumping up and down and etc.

Naruto's entire body was numb; he was standing on borrowed power from Kyuubi. The first thing he fealt, was a hand patting him on the shoulder.

"Good job, son... though, why didn't you use any of mine or Kagura's power." Sauron whispered the last part. "I wanted to win on my own." Naruto says, tiredly; despite it only being noon, today has been a tiresome day.

The last words he heard as he slipped into his subconcious, was: "And so you did, my son, and so you did."

"Naruto, for your bravery and valor, I hereby annoint you... the Godaime Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki!" Cheers were heard as the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, placed the coveted Hokage's hat on the blonde mop that is Naruto's head.

Naruto rode, grinning stupidly, and the many girls that were holding 'We 3 Naruto!' posters fainted on the spot. He raised his hands, and everyone quieted themselves. And in a booming voice, he said: "Free ramen for all!" The crowd roared in complete joy as giant ramen bowls were carried into the street by oxen.

"My family will never go hungry again! Naruto-sama is the best!"

But the people hushed again, and Naruto paled. There, standing majestically with red waves of malice oozing off her, was a giant Kagura! (human Kyuubi.)

"What do you want, Kagura?" Naruto yells.

"MWA hahahaaa! You have done well to become Hokage, dear little brother; but now you must face... the giant boobs of death!"


Exactly two minutes after he became hokage, Naruto died a very pleasing death.


Naruto woke up in a cold sweat and a nose bleed, the conflict of fear and attraction apparent on his face. He looked around at the messy landscape that was his room. 'Hmm, dad must have took me back home.' He tried to get up, but winced in pain when he shifted his weight to his left arm. He examined the wound... scar... actually, it was just a thin white line where his wound used to be. The spot was just still tender, is all.

Just then, he heard the door knob to his room turn.

"Heya, there, little brother! Up and at 'em, I see?"

It was Kagura. Naruto fealt a slight chill down his spine, and a warmth to his cheeks at the same time. Jeez, he's so conflicted around her.

Nevertheless, he greeted her warmly. "Yup! How long was I out... and why do you have popcorn?"

"... For the rest of the day, actually; it's night-time now, and the popcorn's not important." She says as she plops down on her bed.

Naruto took time to regester that, and concluded that it must have been her chakra that healed him. His healing factor was mentioned in his studies, but whatever. He has other things on his mind, like...

"Hmm, whatever happened to that girl?"

Kagura smirks. "Oh? Fallen in love with someone, have we?"

"N-No! You're wrong! I was just worried about her!"

The smirk was still there.

"As a friend!" He quickly adds.

"Good, maybe I can still be your wife then; but all joking aside, don't you think that you're being a little too forgiving? You know, with suddenly saying that a you're worried about some random psycho chick that attacked you, and calling her a friend."

"Well... Maybe she had a good reason for challenging us? I mean, no one picks a fight for no apparent reason, right? Besides, what's wrong with forgiving?" Naruto says adamantly.

"'sigh', naive as a child. You'll learn soon enough." At Naruto's quizzical gaze, she continues, "Well I guess it's none of my business with what you do with your trust, but just know this: Despite the beutiful figure you see in front of you, we are still connected."

Naruto was still looking at her like he had no clue.

"'Sigh' You die, I die, baka... Just be careful, alright?"

Kagura finishes with a sisterly warmth to her voice, and pats Naruto on the head.

"Your friend is downstairs, in the kitchen; Dad is in the forge, fixing things while he waits for you to wake up."

Naruto nods and walks to the door, but was stopped once more by Kagura.

"Oh, and I think this is yours." She hands him a short sword; his short sword, and Naruto takes it gratefully. "Thanks, are you coming...?" He asks.

"Nah, I'll just chill up here. If there is any info I want, I'll just take it from your memories later." Naruto nods, accepting the explanation, and heads out. Not before he gets completely down the hallway, however, did Kaguras words finally click.

'Holy crap! She's been watching my dreams like movies!'

Sorry, folks, but this is all that I can squeez out of my brain for the moment. So, as of now, suggestions are welcome (but please be nice about them). Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated!