Summary: Returning to London after several years abroad, Hermione has done a lot of growing up. Sirius has noticed this too, but he is about to learn that just because he wants something doesn't mean he can have it.

Authors Note: Yes, it's another Golden Duo production! To our regular readers we hope you enjoy this latest foray into the world of FF, to all of you who are new, check out our profile to learn more about us, you may like what you find!

Old Dog, New Tricks


Hermione Granger grunted and heaved her trunk up the last few steps of the tall, imposing building that very few people in the outside world could see. The brick façade seemed faded by comparison to the gleaming white of the buildings that surrounded it, but to her eyes it was a comfortable reminder of just where 'home' was.

After 4 years of living abroad and wrangling dragons with Charlie Weasley, it was good to be back in London. She looked forward to having a day when she didn't have to worry about her hair getting singed or her clothes catching fire. She was free to enjoy her early twenties back where she belonged: with her friends.

Stopping to catch her breath when she reached the landing, she used her forearm to push her heavy mop of hair from her face before turning to look back down at the quiet street. Grateful that nobody was about, she pulled out her wand and silently levitated the trunk before her, making sure her body blocked most of it from public view.

Reaching over it, she opened the familiar door and stepped inside the cool hallway. Not much had changed since her days there, except perhaps the boys had cleaned for her return. She was certain at least Remus cared enough about her to make sure the house was hospitable before she arrived. She hated to think what she would have returned to had he not been living with Harry, Ron, and Sirius.


Well, that was a name she had been trying to erase from her conscious mind. The name, the face, the man himself was a person she was not looking forward to seeing again. Even though it had been 4 years, she highly doubted that the man would cease to affect her the way he had when she had been younger, and more sensitive to his unintentionally-heart-breaking behaviour.

Standing in the foyer thinking, she didn't hear the sound of footsteps behind her, and she gave out a God-awful screech when she found herself flat on her back on the ancient carpeted floor, the breath knocked from her lungs and a much heavier body pinning hers to the floor.

"What in the name of..." a man above her said, pushing himself up on his elbows and looking behind him at the trunk he had just tripped over. He pushed his shaggy hair to one side and she had to blow out of the side of her mouth to keep it from actually falling into her mouth.

"If you don't mind..." she said sweetly, poking the older man in the chest, bringing his attention back to her.

Then she froze.

It was Sirius.

He turned to look back down at her, a familiar glint entering his grey eyes as his gaze swept from the halo of messy curls that surrounded her, down to the top of her breasts that had been plastered to his chest only moments before.

"Not at all darling," he drawled, his hips giving a very definite twist. "Do you?" He smirked when she let out a soft gasp, though she admitted it was more out of surprise than the obvious arousal he wanted her to feel. She was prepared to say something snide, but he didn't give her a chance to respond.

"So were you just in the neighbourhood, or were you here to see someone in particular?" he asked, his voice dropping to a very intimate hush, his face only inches from hers now.

Hermione paused, looking at him closely, before a small smirk crossed her lips. She could not believe her luck. Sirius Black, notorious womanizer, ex-convict turned playboy bachelor, and singular star of her adolescent fantasies did not recognize his own godson's best friend. She would never let him live it down.

Nor was she going to let the payback opportunity pass her by.

"Actually, yes," she whispered, running her tongue sensually across her full lips and lowering her gaze to his lips before slowly bringing her gaze back up to meet his eyes. "Remus."

Sirius blinked above her, caught off-guard for a moment by the fact that the beautiful vixen beneath him was here to see his best friend. She didn't seem like Remus's type at all. This woman was a sex kitten in khaki shorts and a floaty white singlet top, not the normally quiet and bookish sort that the lycanthrope bought home from time-to-time. However, the thought that she belonged to Remus didn't make his semi-hard arousal deflate. In fact, he was more intrigued than ever.

"That old coot? What do you want with him?" he asked, making no move to unpin her body, despite her current squirming.

That small, mischievous smirk returned to her face, making her smouldering eyes crinkle with untold mirth and making him suddenly wish he had worn looser trousers.

"I don't know... he has that certain... animalistic quality I like in a man," she said, her voice dropping to a similar intimate level and turning husky.

Sirius frowned for a moment, trying valiantly to keep his confusion masked as he continued the easy banter.

"Yeah? He's a real wolf in sheep's clothing," he said mockingly, falling behind sarcastic remarks to hide the jumble of thoughts that were invading his often one-track mind at her words.

"Are you teasing my jumpers again, Pads? I thought we agreed that if you mentioned nothing about my fashion sense then I would leave yours alone too," an amused voice sounded behind them.

"Remus!" Hermione cried, scrambling out from Sirius's clutches and flinging herself across the short hall. Remus caught the almost-flying witch with open arms, not even trying to hide his curiosity over what had just transpired in the hall between her and Sirius.

Hermione clung to the older man and sighting Sirius's poorly-masked jealousy in her peripheral, she made a bold decision. Biting her lip she met Remus's eye, winking conspiratorially before reaching high up on her toes. Her lips met his in a surprisingly daring kiss, taking nearly all of them by surprise.

Sirius didn't know whether to be amused by the tiny woman, laugh openly at the look Remus's face, or be completely jealous that his friend had managed to find such an amazing piece of arse. The woman with the halo of chestnut curls and chocolate brown eyes – that held far more intelligence than he could ever imagine – was witty, funny and sexy as hell. He couldn't help feeling a little green with envy.

The witch in dropped back to her hiking-boot-clad feet, looking up at the werewolf with an indefinable expression. Remus grinned at her for a moment, catching what she was trying to do, before turning back to look at Sirius as he draped his arm over her shoulder in an obviously-possessive manner.

"Something wrong, Pads?" he asked mildly as Sirius gaped at him like a goldfish.

"Yeah!" Sirius said, as indignantly as he could standing in the middle of the hall with a raging erection. "Since when did you get a girlfriend?"

Remus was about to say something – Hermione was sure it was to let his old friend in on the ruse – when a loud clattering was heard descending from the upper levels. The three looked up, holding their breath as two sets of stomping feet reached the bottom level.

"Mione!" Harry called, flinging himself from the last few steps and toward the witch who was now smiling so brightly, she could have lit the whole hall with her pearly whites alone. She caught Harry in her arms seconds before Ron joined the mêlée, managing to knock them all to the floor in a mess of limbs, hair, and much giggling.

"'Mione?" Sirius asked, looking at Remus for clarification. The werewolf's smirk was all it took for realization to cross the man's face, and his eyes widened. "Hermione?"

"Hello Sirius," she said from the floor, grinning as Ron helped her to her feet before wrapping his long limbs around her in the most all-encompassing hug he could manage. Harry, not to be outdone, threw his body over the two, effectively locking her between two tall, lithe men.

"It's so good to have you back!" Harry cried, predictably oblivious to Sirius's gaping stare at the young witch.

"It's good to be back," she said with a reverent sigh, looking around the foyer in contentment. "Though I could have done without being bowled over twice within five minutes."

"Twice?" Ron asked, casting Remus an accusatory glance.

Remus put his hands up in surrender.

"I did not do the bowling. Look at him," he said, pointing to Sirius.

Ron arched an eyebrow.

"You bowled her over?" he asked, a slightly possessive arm around her.

"" Sirius stuttered, looking into his godson and Ron's expectant faces.

Hermione smirked again, cocking her head to the side with an expectant arched eyebrow as she waited for Sirius to come up with a plausible enough excuse to make it believable that his intentions with her had been completely honourable. Only she and he knew what he had said and did once he had unintentionally toppled her over, and from the look on his face he was trying to convey to her that he would be infinitely grateful if she didn't say anything to the three men who were more than capable of hexing him into oblivion.

She, of course, was not quite so accommodating.

"He tripped over my trunk as he was racing to get inside," she explained. "Fell right on top of me and would not let me up. He didn't even recognize me. Which reminds me," She looked over at Sirius. "Do you make it a habit of dry-humping every witch that walks through the door?"

Sirius gritted his teeth as mortification swept over him, instigated by the looks on the faces of the three men. Though Remus seemed mildly amused and not altogether surprised by his best friend's behavior, Harry and Ron looked at him as though he had suddenly sprouted three heads, flippers, and a tail.

"You did what?" Harry asked.

"" Sirius repeated, feeling the heat rise up his neck.

"I had to tell him I was Remus's girlfriend in order to get him to stop leering at me. And even then I had to claw my way out from under him," Hermione continued, thoroughly enjoying the look of mixed horror and embarrassment on Sirius's face.

"Why did you tell him that?" Ron asked.

"Because I knew it would at least confuse him for several seconds," she replied, laughing slightly as Sirius glowered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked flatly, deciding to bluntly admit that her presence was a complete shock to him and that he demanded her reasoning for entering his home unexpectedly.

"She's back from Romania, Sirius," Remus said, the amusement still apparent in his amber eyes. "We've told you a thousand times that she was coming to live with us."

"No you didn't," Sirius said indignantly, but knew somewhere in his brain that they probably had. He wondered briefly why had hadn't paid more attention to the fact that Harry and Ron seemed much more chipper than usual.

"We did," Harry said, casting his godfather a long look. "Just because you are too busy drinking, gambling, and carousing to pay much attention to us anymore doesn't mean that we have shirked our responsibilities as your roommates."

"I do not gamble!" Sirius said.

Hermione gave a laugh, which shot an unexpected thrill to Sirius's already-throbbing groin.

"I'm glad out of those three choices, you chose to negate the gambling," she said, a sparkle in her eyes that reminded Sirius distinctly of a pair of twins he knew.

"Yeah, well..." was all he could respond with.

"So!" Ron said, choosing to ignore the odd tension between Hermione and Sirius as he turned to the curly-haired witch. "How was Romania? And Charlie?"

"Romania was fantastic," Hermione said, levitating her trunk and charming it to follow her as the illustrious "Golden Trio" headed up the stairs. Sirius jumped out of the way to avoid his legs from being taken out by the heavy object. "Charlie is great. He sends his love to everyone and he wants your Mum to know that he's going to try and make it back for Christmas."

"Well you can tell her yourself because Mum insists you come to the Burrow tonight for some big dinner she's planning," Ron replied.

"I expected no less from Mrs. Weasley," Hermione grinned, linking arms with first Harry and then Ron as they moved toward the stairs, her trunk floating meekly behind them.

"She's been planning it all bloody week. Harry and I went there yesterday and there was enough food to feed an army. She even made you a blueberry pie and she only makes those on special occasions," Ron told her, "Took her three goes till she was happy with it too, mind," Ron told her, his head completely focused, as always, on the feast and not the occasion.

"And I take it you helped her get rid of the other two?" she asked, sharing a grin with Harry and enjoying the easy banter they fell into despite so much time spent apart.

"'Course, it's my duty as her youngest son," Ron stated with a scoffing certainty, causing Harry to reach around Hermione to flick his friend over the back of his head playfully.

Sirius and Remus stood in the hall, watching the trio walk out of view, teasing and joking with each other in the intimate way that only best friends can. Remus was sharply reminded of the way he, Sirius and James used to act, and felt happy that James's son was fortunate to know such friendship, too.

"How could you not recognise her?" he finally asked, smacking Sirius upside the head when Hermione's trunk finally turned the corner and the three were out of earshot.

"Ouch! Oh, come on! The last time I saw the witch she was just out of school and I had a few other things on my mind than cataloguing every finer detail of her appearance," Sirius said, shifting uncomfortably, finding himself more than a little embarrassed under his friend's knowing gaze.

"She bought you back from the Veil and you didn't recognise her," Remus stated, giving his friend a look that conveyed his continued disbelief in his friend's more-that-occasional lack of sense.

"Okay, so maybe I should have recognised her, but Merlin's beard she has grown up a lot," Sirius sighed, looking up the stairs again as the memory of her khaki-clad derrière mounting the staircase filtered through his mind.

"Romania seems to have agreed with her," Remus conceded with a smile, "But don't forget who she is just because her shell is a little more appealing now," he warned, feeling someone had to do it before the animagus got ahead of himself like he usually did when a pretty witch entered his line of vision.

"Sirius, I'm just saying…"

"I know what you're saying, Moony. Hermione Granger is off-limits. I hear you. Loud and clear."

"It's not just that, it's that she's Harry's best friend. There are bigger issues at stake than her just being 'off-limits'. She's not a conquest."

"Who says I want to make her one?"

Remus gave his friend a long look and Sirius sighed.

"I'm not some sixth year with a second brain down south anymore," he said defensively, shoving his hands in his pockets. When Remus gave him a long look, Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not."

"Fine. You're not."

Deciding he was finished talking about Hermione, or the potential conquest therein, Sirius patted his friend on the shoulder, leading him toward the kitchen.

"I'm famished. Do you think there's any of Ginny's cake still left?"

Remus frowned.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, Sirius."

"Fantastic! We'll wash it down with a little firewhiskey, eh? After all, I'm sure it's five pm somewhere."

Remus merely rolled his eyes and followed his friend down to the kitchen.


Dinner at the Burrow was everything Hermione expected it to be. Loud, busy and full of the most amazing food outside of Hogwarts. Nobody put on a feast like Molly Weasley.

"Excellent nosh, Mum," Ron garbled around a mouthful of roast chicken and potatoes, another forkful already halfway to his mouth before he had swallowed.

"Thank you, dear," Molly beamed, turning to Hermione who sat deep in conversation with Bill about recent legislations concerning the care of magical creatures and the Ministry's handling of rogue beasts. Fleur sat beside them looking bored out of her mind.

"Hermione, how was your trip?" Molly interrupted, drawing the attention of most of the table.

Hermione swallowed the mouthful of peas she had just put in her mouth before answering.

"I can understand why Charlie hates it so much," she said with a smile. "I must have been through twenty-seven separate floo networks before I got back to the UK. Next time I think I'm just going to set up a portkey."

Truth be told, the arduous journey by floo wasn't the only reason Charlie didn't return home as often as he should, but she wasn't about to give away all her friend's secrets.

"Poor dear, he always did get travel sick," Molly crooned wistfully, staring off into space as she was known to do when her second eldest son was mentioned.

"Do you remember that time he threw up on the train?" Bill smiled, looking to Fred and George who had obviously witnessed the incident. Molly looked between her sons with disapproval before turning to Ginny to resume an earlier conversation.

"That's right!" George grinned, "Right in poor Tonk's lap."

"Poor girl never got her robes to smell right again," Fred grinned.

"I think I recall her mentioning something about that," Remus added, smiling at the thought of his ex-lover being in any sort of discomfort. She was a sight to behold when angry.

"Didn't a similar thing happen to you once, Moony?" Sirius interjected, bringing the attention of that side of the table.

Hermione had almost let herself forget that Sirius was there, he had been so quiet sitting across from her. She continually dropped her gaze every time he would look her way and had probably been boring the pants off Bill in her efforts to avoid engaging the older man in conversation. Having spent the last few years trying to forget her childhood crush, it had all come back to hit her in the face the moment he landed on top of her in the hall.

"Not one of my finer moments..." Remus said, trailing off as he grinned sheepishly when the Weasley men burst out laughing.

She wasn't paying attention to the conversation as much as watching the play of candlelight on Sirius's aristocratic features. She couldn't deny that he had aged well, filling out from his skeletal appearance upon returning from the Veil, and his skin and hair had returned to their former glory with the aid of frequent and nutritious meals. It was easy to see how he had maintained his playboy status after so many years. Being a cad on top of it, however, was an unfortunate side-effect of the handsome wizard's popularity.

Sirius looked over at the feel of eyes on him, meeting her curious gaze and smirking slightly. Neither had mentioned the events of that morning, although Harry and Ron had been teasing him mercilessly about not recognizing her. Sirius was just glad that the tale had not been repeated to the rest of the Weasley brood, for he feared that should Fred and George find out about his faux pas, or Molly find out about his actions with the girl she considered a daughter, he would surely not leave the Burrow alive.

Or, at the very least, he would definitely not leave with his favourite appendage still attached.

"So Hermione," Remus said, taking a bit of his chicken as he looked down the table with a glint in his eye that Sirius was sure meant trouble for him. "Tell us how you've been enjoying your time back in England."

Catching where Remus wanted the conversation to go, Hermione smirked, avoiding eye contact with the man across from her who was suddenly staring at her with an intensity that would have set her hair on fire should he have had the inclination.

"After Sirius tackled me, you mean?" she joked, and proceeded to go into a long and - in Sirius's opinion - highly dramatized version of events that afternoon. By the end of the story, the Weasley men were laughing hysterically and Molly had murder in her eyes.

"Sirius Black," she said shrilly. "How dare you molest this poor, innocent child as though she were one of the scarlet women you pick up at pubs!"

Sirius bristled.

"I did not molest her," he said, ignoring the self-satisfied smirk that appeared on Hermione's face. "And furthermore, young though Hermione Granger may be, she is not innocent!"

Hermione arched an eyebrow at Sirius as he sat back in his chair, glaring at a fixed point on the wall. Trying to hide the smirk on her face, Hermione leaned forward, silently slipping her shoes off as she propped her elbows on the table, tilting her chin on top of her folded hands.

"You know, Sirius isn't entirely incorrect," she said, again avoiding contact with Sirius as she let her foot slowly graze his ankle.

Her smirk grew slightly as she saw him physically jump.

"Of course, I am not one of those scarlet women he's been known to cavort with," she said. "But I am 4 years older and I suppose an innocent 21-year-old is a bit non-existent in this day and age, if you'll pardon the generalization, Mrs. Weasley."

She continued to spout philosophically, much to the amusement of her friends, but Sirius no longer registered her words. Her foot, which she had removed from her hiking boots and slipped into a pair of worn but attractive sandals, was travelling up his denim-covered leg, massaging the muscles with a dexterity Sirius had never seen before from a woman's foot, but it definitely was not going unappreciated.

"Wouldn't you agree, Sirius?" he heard Remus ask, and he looked up to see the whole table watching him.

He licked his lips nervously.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't quite listening," he said, feeling her foot snake over his thigh.

"Hermione was just telling us how she thinks the youth of today have gone through more than our generation," Arthur repeated. "What with the war and Lord Voldemort's defeat. She thinks that the childish innocence was gone even before any of them entered Hogwarts."

"Well...I..." Sirius stuttered, finding coherent thought difficult as Hermione's big toe made lazy circles on his inner thigh.

"I think there's a lot to be said about our generation's general perception of war," Hermione went on to say, and once again Sirius felt coherence leave him as her foot grazed his budding erection. Even as she spoke, Sirius could see that small, mischievous smirk on her face as she slowly started to run her toes up and down his crotch, massaging the hard muscle that was growing.

"Sirius, do you agree that the only way to bring back the innocence in youth is through an ignorance of war?" Bill asked, turning the attention back to an uncharacteristically-quiet Sirius.

Sirius looked up, a glazed look in his eye as Hermione undid the zipper of his jeans with her toes. Her movements stopped as she waited for him to answer, and he had to will all of his self-control to stop himself from bucking into her infuriatingly sensual foot movements.

" war definitely helps to corrupt the innocence of our children," he said. "Among...other things..."

"What type of other things?" Hermione asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes innocently as he toes wiggled into his jeans to graze the soft cotton of his briefs.

He sucked in a breath as her foot moved. Dear God, where did she learn to work her foot like that? And since when was she daring enough to risk Molly Weasley's wrath by giving him the podiatric equivalent of a hand job under the table at dinner? And why in Merlin's name was everyone still looking at him?

Oh, the question. What was it again?

"Sirius, mate, are you ok?" one of the twins' voices asked and Sirius gripped the table as Hermione's foot started to tease him with more insistent movements.

"Er...yeah. Why?" he said.

"You look a bit pale. Maybe you should get some air," Harry said, his brow furrowed as he looked at his godfather.

"No, no," Sirius said quickly. "I'm fine. I don't need air."

"Really, Sirius?" Hermione asked, her sweet, innocent tone continuing despite her foot's wicked actions. "I agree with Harry, you're looking a bit pale. Are you sure you don't want to go outside for a bit?"

Right then, her foot made a rapid, slick movement that he him lurching forward in his chair, gripping the table for dear life. Of course, he was not exactly subtle about the action, and Ginny arched her eyebrow as everyone else looked at the animagus with a mixture of amusement and worry at his actions.

"Sirius, I would feel much more comfortable if you went outside for some air," Remus said sternly. "I'll go with you," he offered, getting up.

"No! No, I'm fine...oh God..." he groaned, his grip on the table tightening as his eyes slid closed, Hermione's foot working a particularly tantalizing brand of magic.

Hermione bit her lip and tried not to laugh as half the tables occupants leapt to their feet in concern. She let her foot rub up and down roughly one last time before withdrawing from his lap with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh my, do you think it was the food?" Molly asked meekly, her hand to her chest as she watched Sirius drop his head to the table.

"Can't have been, the rest of us are fine," Percy reasoned, patting his mothers shoulder and shooting the older man at the other end of the table a withering look, as if he somehow knew his behaviour was inappropriate.

"I'm...I'm fine," Sirius practically wheezed, bracing both palms on the worn wooden table and pushing himself upright again. He gave Hermione a funny stare as the Weasley's continued to fuss, their voices melding in to one as the bright young witch stared back at him with challenge and more than a mischievous glint in her eye.

"...all the excitement."

"...might have been the onions."

"...too much firewhiskey mate."

Sirius shot a look to the backdoor, then stared back at her with equal challenge. Hermione gave an imperceptible nod of agreement, both of them standing at the same time. The rest of the room fell still.

"I'll take Sirius outside for some fresh air; I'm feeling a bit flushed myself. We'll be back in time for dessert," Hermione said sweetly, mainly addressing Mrs Weasley who seemed to be near tears at the thought that it could have been her meal that had made Sirius sick.

If only she knew.

Sirius avoided everyone's concerned looks as he followed his tormentor to the front door, praying his loose robes hid his raging erection and knowing that if anyone looked closely enough they would see he was walking just that little bit funny.

Hermione stepped out on to the back step and broke out in a wide grin, staring at him as if he were the world's greatest comedian before following the scattered stone path away from the home. Sirius felt his frustration and attraction to her grow in the light of her brilliant smile - she had known exactly what she had been doing inside and he had a sinking feeling it had to do with more than just his stunt upon her arrival.

Hermione knew he would follow her, she also knew that he expected her to continue where she had left off. He had no idea – and she was certain of this – that her actions at the dinner table was payback for something that had happened in her fifth year at Hogwarts. Of course, the fact that he had come on to her in the hallway of his childhood home earlier that day hadn't helped, but Hermione was known to hold a grudge, and Sirius Black was only just beginning to learn this the hard way.

She stopped when she came close to dark line of trees surrounding the property, turning around to look at the handsome wizard.

"Feeling better, Sirius?" she asked coquettishly, biting her lip as another round of laughter threatened to burst forth.

"What do you think you are playing at, witch?" he asked quietly, not stopping until he stood a hair's breath from her.

"Nothing more than you deserve," she replied cryptically, taking a step back, her smile widening when he followed.

"All this for a case of mistaken identity?" he asked, arching a perfectly shaped brow.

"Oh no, not just that. But it's so much fun to mess with you," she replied, taking another step back. "You're a real sport."

Sirius took two steps forward until her back hit the trunk of an apple tree, knocking her breathless for a moment.

"Am I just?" he breathed, bracing a hand on either side of her head and leaning his face close in to hers.

"Yes," she whispered, licking her lips. "And I think I best leave before this gets out of hand."

Ducking quickly under his outstretched arms, Hermione headed toward the garden gate. She could feel Sirius behind her and was glad when she reached outside the Burrow's wards so she could apparate before he became close enough to latch on to her.

Landing on the top step of Grimmauld Place, she quickly went in, closing the door as she heard a 'pop' outside. Sighing, she headed swiftly down to the kitchen, hoping that she could get down the stairs at a rapid enough pace that he wouldn't know immediately that that was the direction she had headed. She thought she was free as she pushed through the kitchen door, but quickly found herself pinned up against the frame, with Sirius's hot gray eyes burning into hers.

"You didn't think I'd let you go that easily, did you?" he asked softly, his eyes journeying from hers down over her, lingering slightly on her parted lips before skimming her neck and appreciating her heaving breasts.

"Sirius," she said. "I don't think you know exactly what you're getting into."

He arched an amused eyebrow.

"What I'm getting into? Oh no, little witch, I think it's definitely the other way around."

Hermione's heart skipped a beat as she looked up into his eyes, remembering another time he had been this close.

It had been Christmas six years ago, and not a very happy one at that. Harry was having nightmares, Mr Weasley had been attacked by a giant snake, and Sirius was going through an odd batch of cabin fever, having been cooped up in Grimmauld Place for too long.

Hermione, Harry and Ron had all chosen to spend the holidays together, feeling not only the need for comfort in the dark times, but also a need to stick together in case anything else went wrong. The twins, always in good spirits, thought it was also the perfect opportunity to bitch about Umbridge to their heart's content without fear of being caught and sent to detention.

Hermione had been one of the last awake the morning they were due to return to Hogwarts – having overslept after spending half the night chatting to Remus in the library – and had missed breakfast altogether. Luckily, Mrs. Weasley had charmed a plate full of delicious food to stay warm and so Hermione had enjoyed the solitude of the empty kitchen later that morning as everyone else was kept busy with last-minute packing.

Sirius had strolled in – shirtless under his open dressing gown – his eyes still heavy with sleep. She wondered if he had nightmares like Harry and almost felt like giving him words of comfort – that was, if she could unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth. Only Ginny knew the brain-melting crush she harboured for Sirius Black.

Sirius had gotten himself a mug of coffee and had sat and joked with her about returning to the pink frilly toad at Hogwarts, Hermione had been all stuttering and blushes the whole time. The casual flirtation continued through her breakfast – where she was certain she had missed her mouth several different times while taking bites and listening at the same time – and by the end of breakfast her heart seemed about ready to pound through her shirt.

Sirius had stood and, like a marionette, she had followed. When they came to the kitchen door he suddenly stopped, causing her – who had been suddenly fascinated by the delicious-looking lump of flesh that sat just below his waist and above his legs – to bump into him. He turned to look at her, glancing up at the doorframe with a mischievous smirk.



"I see you've lured me under the mistletoe, Miss Granger," Sirius said, his charming smile crossing his face as his eyes twinkled with mischief.

Hermione swallowed hard.

"I...I didn't put it there," she stuttered.

He chuckled.

"Of course you didn't, love. You're much too sensible to be worried about silly trifles like mistletoe. I bet you've never even been kissed."

"I have," she said indignantly, realizing too late that he was trying to get a rise out of her and succeeding.

"You have, have you? Some inexperienced young whelp, no doubt. Some fumbling young third year."

"No," she said stoutly. "He was seventeen, and quite adequate, thank you very much."

"Adequate, was he," Sirius teased, taking a step toward her and effectively pinning her against the door frame. "Well, what would he say if he heard you talking like that about him?"

"I...I...oh!" She pursed her lips and frowned, unable to come up with a witty-enough comeback to battle with him at that hour of the morning. Instead she put her hands to his chest and gave a feeble push. She wasn't really trying, but she figured it was as good an excuse as any to feel the hard planes of muscles she had been fantasizing about for months.

"Eloquent as always, Hermione," he baited, glancing down to where her hands were sitting, motionless, against his chest.

Looking back up at her, he cocked an eyebrow.

"And I see you've taken to molesting old men as well as adequately snogging some poor young seventh year..."

"It was Viktor Krum," she said hotly. "And he was more than adequate, he was..."

"Viktor Krum? The Bulgarian seeker? Well, Hermione you DO get around," Sirius interrupted, that sly smile crossing his face as she flushed.

"I do not get around! He was my first kiss and..."

"Ah," Sirius interrupted again. "If he was your first kiss, how do you know if he was adequate or not?"

She opened her mouth to answer but found - not for the first time in Sirius's presence - that she was at a loss for words. Nostrils flaring in anger and mouth pursed tight, she looked levelly at him before opening her mouth to respond calmly and intelligently.

Well, that was how she had intended to respond.

"If you're so concerned, why don't you show me how it's done then?" she heard herself say, and she immediately clapped her hands over her mouth as she looked into his surprised face with wide-eyed horror. A slow, self-assured smirk appeared at the edges of his lips, his eyes sparkling with controlled mirth.

"You want me to kiss you? To show you how it's done properly?" he asked, his voice low and husky as he dropped his face closer to hers.

Hermione felt her skin heat up, unsure whether she was dreaming or not an discreetly pinching herself to make sure that she was not still in her small bed three flights up with a snoring Ginny next to her. From the pink mark that appeared on her skin, she knew she wasn't dreaming, and Sirius's lips were mere inches from hers. She could feel his breath on her face - smelling like coffee and cinnamon buns - and she felt her eyes slowly drift closed as she moved closer to him.

Then, she felt a brush of cold air and looked up to see him grinning.

"Go upstairs, love," he said with a paternal smile, causing Hermione's heart to crash from her throat to her stomach. "No need to tease an old man any further with romantic notions."

He gave her a small half-smile and walked out, leaving her panting against the door frame and ruing the day some misguided holiday well-wisher put the mistletoe up in the doorway.


Hermione glanced up into the same gray eyes, though this time they were not sparkling with barely constrained mischief. They smoldered with a lust and desire she had wished to see from the moment she had set foot in Grimmauld Place the summer before her fifth year of school. Once again she found herself pinned against the door frame, but instead of a guarded distance, Sirius's body was pressed up against hers and she felt every plane of his muscle and every sharp edge of his body.

His body molded deliciously against hers.

"I remember," he breathed, his breath hot against her skin. "You once wanting me to kiss you. To show you how it's done properly."

"And if I remember," she replied, trying to edge her way into the kitchen but finding herself effectively trapped. "You walked away from me then."

"Biggest mistake of my life, if you ask me," he whispered.

"Oh, I'm sure you can think of a few more."

"Not at the moment, love."

She glanced up into his eyes and felt her body melting. Every fiber of her being wanted to kiss him - to taste the fruit that had been forbidden for so long and to show him what he had been missing - but something within her gave her pause. If she kissed him, she needed to be prepared for everything that happened afterward.

And she had far too much retribution to deal out before she would jump into his bed.

"You lost your chance," she said, once again trying to wriggle out of his grasp. His hands grasped her hips.

"Do that one more time, and my kissing you will be the least of your worries," he growled.

She glanced down, feeling the hard throbbing against her belly, before looking up at him with a smirk.

"Why Sirius," she said flirtatiously, running her hand over his chest. "And here I didn't think you cared."

The growl came deep from the back of his throat and before she knew what was happening, his lips were on hers.

Hermione felt the very breath leave her as Sirius pressed his lips hotly against hers, devouring her as he wrapped his arms around her body. His tongue, probing and curious, begged entrance to her mouth and she - whether by momentary delusion or of her own free will - allowed him access.

He sunk his tongue into her mouth with a groan. It was a purely masculine, almost animalistic sound that she had been waiting far too long to hear. He swept the inside of her mouth, tracing her teeth and gums before finding her tongue and clashing with it in a heated duel. Her nails dug into his shoulders as the intense waves of pleasure swept through her and she felt herself rise onto her toes, trying to get closer to him.

His arms around her waist tightened in response, almost lifting her off her feet as he crushed her to him. She whimpered against him as his tongue pulled back, tracing her lips and moving on to her cheek, tracing a path down her exposed neck.

She felt dizzy and hot, overwhelmed by the single act she had been dreaming about for over six years. Sirius was the proverbial apple of Eden – something she had always wanted but had never been able to taste. She felt her feet lift off the ground as he picked her up and turned them around, her back braced on the wall as he encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist.

The new angle allowed him to press his hard length against her intimately, his hips giving an involuntary throb as he claimed her mouth once more. Both knew they were going fast; that a one-night-stand between them was probably the worst idea, but neither pulled away. In fact, Hermione threaded her hands through his silky hair and pulled him close still.

Things began to gain intensity, their tongues clashing violently as his fevered hands tugged at her light summer clothing. Hermione could only moan as he touched her in long-forgotten places, his hands working a brand of magic no wand could produce.

"Sirius!" she cried as he tore the buttons from her shirt, his fingers finding her nipples through the thin cotton bra.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he murmured against her neck, deliriously kissing a path toward the swell of her breasts. She writhed against him, feeling his throbbing arousal buck in approval as her skin blazed with an inner fire.

"I-I," she stuttered, her mind shutting down in the face of previously-buried passion. Sirius chuckled at hearing the incoherent tumble, loving the fact that he had caused the brilliant witch's mind to shut down.

"I know, I know," he murmured huskily, ducking his head to swipe one straining nipple through the restraints of the fabric, making her shudder and moan against him.

"Oh God!" a voice behind them screeched, causing a halt to the fevered dry humping.

"Ginny!" Hermione cried, her legs falling to the floor and her arms dropping from his neck as if he burned her.

"This isn't what it looks like," Sirius said before dropping his head to the wall beside Hermione. She stood frozen in front of him.

"Ah..." Ginny began, and he could just imagine the skeptical look on her face.

"It's what it looks like," Hermione confirmed, pushing herself out of his arms and fixing her blouse as she addressed her friend. "Sorry you had to see that, Gin."

"No, no. Not at all," Ginny said, blushing to her roots, before her face transformed in a very twin-like grin. "Actually, Mum sent me to see if you were coming back for dessert, but I see you just had yours."

Hermione made a small choking sound while Sirius groaned and turned to look at the two women.

"Glad to see we didn't kill your sense of humour," he deadpanned. His eyes immediately went to Hermione, who looked as dishevelled as he felt. He wished Ginny would just go away so he could have his wicked way with her friend.

"Nope, just my eyesight," she quipped, turning to Hermione as if dismissing him. "Dessert? Mum made pie."

"Sure," Hermione smiled before looking straight at him with a Cheshire-cat grin. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"But..." Sirius began to protest, not believing she could just switch off and ignore him after that kiss.

"Hope you feel better in the morning. See you Sirius!" she grinned, gripping Ginny's arm as they apparated back to the Burrow.

Sirius stared at the spot they had just been.

He had never been so horny in his entire life.

Thanks for reading! Virtual cookies and extra hugs to anyone who can guess what song inspired this fic!

Leave us love and let us know!