A/N - I hope you enjoy this first chapter and get a good view of Bella and where she is in her life!

A shout out to my virtual sista's and mummy! You all know who you are and thanks for all the encoutragement to get me to post my story. i couldnt have had the nerve to do it without all of you. MWA!!!

Enjoy!

I dont own twilight, the talented Stephanie Meyer does!


BPOV

"Thanks mum that was delicious." I gathered the empty plates off of the table and headed for the kitchen to clean up, Renee following close behind. "Oh baby, you know I love nothing more than cooking for you and Brady. Especially being it your last night here and…." I saw the tears start prickling her eyes with the emotions that I knew she had been holding back all night. I swiftly placed the dirty plates on the kitchen bench before turning to hold her close trying to ease her worries regarding our permanent move back to Forks.

I had come to live here in Phoenix about two years ago in order to get away from everything back home. Life back in Forks began proving to feel too lonely after Jacob's death. Brady was 3 weeks shy of his second birthday when Jacob passed away and I was left as a single widowed mum at age 24. Charlie and Jacob's father Billy did all they could to help to make life easier for me but the deep set emotions of loneliness and grief were proving to be more than my broken heart could take. I loved Jacob more than anything in this world and the day I learned that he was never coming back still proves to throw daggers at my heart. He was everything in my world and I was everything in his.

Jacob and I started dating when I was in my senior year in high school and he was just 17. We spent every waking moment together and quickly fell in love. Every one doubted us declaring we were too young to feel so strongly for one another. We would brush off peoples comments because we knew what we felt was genuine. We took our relationship seriously and knew that once we were able to provide for ourselves financially we would get married. We did just that when Jacob was 19 and I was 20.

He'd always had a love for cars that he put to good use when he became a mechanic working with his friends Embry and Quil. His job provided us with just enough income to get by. Just before I turned 22 Brady was born. I don't think I'd ever seen someone embrace fatherhood quite like the way Jacob did. He was ecstatic when he found out we were having a boy and I will never forget the look of joy and pure ecstasy on his face when I told him. He painted his nursery blue and decorated it with toy cars and car illustrated furniture. It was any boys play heaven. He would sit and dream of all the things he wanted to teach Brady, "I'm going to make sure that he knows how to change a tyre by the time he is 3!" he used to joke around. That was another thing I absolutely adored about Jacob, his sense of humor and his ability to make me laugh no matter what the situation.

Unfortunately Jacob never truly got to witness Brady enjoy the play heaven he created for him, he never got to teach him to change a tyre and most importantly he never got to show him all the love and affection that I know he had saved for his son. Sadly Jacob died when Brady was almost two. It was the hardest and darkest day of my life and 3 years on I still feel my heart twist painfully at his memory.

I pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes "Mum, please don't cry, you know that we will visit as often as we can and I promise to write you emails every week." She hugged me again tighter this time as I rubbed soothing circles in her back.

"Hey mum, can I…..what's wrong with nanna?" Brady looked at us with worry etched across his innocent young face. It never ceased to surprise me how much of his dad I saw in him as he grew older. He had his father's dark tan skin and black cropped hair. He was already taller than most kids his age inheriting his dad's tall genes. My mum and I pulled away from each other giggling nervously trying to hide our true emotions from Brady. We didn't want Brady at all to think that our move to Forks was a major deal or a sad thing in any way. We wanted him to take it in his stride and look forward to a new life.

"Nothing sweetie, Nanna is just tired. How about you go get ready for bed hey?" I knelt down to his level and held out my arms in front of me gesturing for him to give me a little hug. He trudged his away from the kitchen doorway and into my arms. I gave him a little squeeze savoring the moment before letting him go.

"Now what do I always say about brushing your teeth?" He looked at me a little annoyed before reciting what I had taught him since he was old enough to brush his own teeth "Don't forget to brush the teeth at the back of my mouth because even though no one can see them they still are just as important as the rest." He repeated the rule with about as much enthusiasm as you would put reading the ingredients off of a label.

"Great. Now you do that and I will meet you upstairs ok?" He nodded before turning and heading for the stairs. I turned back to my mum only to find her staring at me with a worried smile on her face. "Bella dear, you take care of that little boy. You are all he's got at this point in his life. You need to make sure that he gets the love and care that he would get if he had two parents." I looked back at her sad face while digesting her words. It always pained me to know that Brady would never know his father. I was the only parent he ever knew. I walked over to her and gave her another hug. "You have nothing to worry about mum." She gently pushed me away before speaking "I know, now you leave me to this mess and go upstairs and get some sleep. You have an early flight tomorrow and as much as I would love to have you miss your flight so you and Brady could stay one night longer, something tells me Charlie wouldn't be too happy about that." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs.

I walked into the guest room that Brady and I were sharing for the night only to find him in this pale green pajamas playing on the floor with a puzzle. "Hey sweetie, come on time for bed." He gathered the puzzle pieces in a pile and threw them into the box before climbing into bed. He threw himself under the covers before turning to me with a questioning look. "How come we are leaving our home here and going to Forks?" I snuggled as close as I could beside him and put an arm around his shoulders trying to comfort him as much as possible. I always knew that this transition was going to be difficult for him. When we left Forks and moved here to Phoenix Brady was still too young to understand or realize any changes.

I took a deep breath before answering him "Well, Brady you know granddad Charlie?" He nodded his head without breaking his eye contact. It had been 6 months since we last visited Charlie in Forks. I always made the effort to take Brady and visit Charlie as often as we could, especially for Billy's sake. Brady was the only living reminder Billy had of Jake. He was really the only family he had left in Forks. Jacob's two sisters Rebecca and Rachel were both living in Hawaii. Hawaii has been Rebecca's home for many years now living there with her husband. Rachel on the other hand was a student at Washington State. But since then has moved to Hawaii to be close to Rebecca.

Billy wasn't happy when I decided to leave Forks and I don't think he will ever forgive me for taking Brady away from him for 2 years. Billy was never pleased with the idea of Jacob and me getting married. He had always hoped that Jacob would marry someone from the reservation. When Jacob died nothing changed. It only even made things more awkward between us since Jake was the only thing keeping us together.

I drew my attention back to Brady "He is getting a little too lonely back in Forks so we are going to go and keep him company." I noticed at this point there was a thought going through his little mind as he furrowed his brows. "Why doesn't he just get a dog? Phil was saying that when his father got lonely after his mother passed away he got a dog to keep him company." I laughed at the simplicity of his little mind.

"Now do you think Granddad Charlie would prefer a dog or his beautiful grandson that he absolutely adores?" He gave a little giggle before nodding his acknowledgement at my point. "You do remember that you are starting kindergarten next week don't you?" His eyes lit up as he remembered. "Oh yeah, I can't wait mum." I turned my body all the way towards him before enveloping him in a big hug. I gave him a kiss on the top of his head before I climbed out of bed. "Now get to sleep sweetie because we have to be at the airport pretty early tomorrow ok? I will be in bed real soon." He nodded again before sliding down under the covers and turning to his side and closing his eyes.

I took an extra minute to just gaze at Brady and try to fathom what my life would be like if Jake and I had never had him. He was everything in my life now and all I've had in my life for the past 3 years. The love I have for him is indescribable. I want to make sure that the fact that Brady not ever remembering Jake will never be a problem for him. I always made certain that he knew all there is to know about his father. On a regular basis I would show him pictures of Jake. I wanted to make sure that Brady knew the immeasurable amount of love that Jake gave him in the short time he had with him and that a small part of Jake would always and forever exist in his heart.

I felt my heart do a little flip in memory of Jake. Missing Jake had become harder over the last week as I knew that my permanent return to Forks was going to reignite all the emotions that I have kept under control for the last two years. Yes, I have been back there 3 times over the last 2 years but only for 2 weeks at a time. I stayed at our home, but most of the time was spent with either Charlie or Billy. There was never enough time to settle myself into a routine where my mind could linger about life in Forks without Jacob.

A very big part of me knew that returning to the house Jake and I shared was going to be more than I believed I could handle. It has been 3 years since his death and I believe that moving forward is just inevitable. But that first step in moving forward was going to be harder than I thought.

I grabbed my toiletries and headed for the bathroom for a relaxing shower. I turned the water as hot as I could handle despite the warm weather outside. I let the water relax my tense muscles and mind taking me to a far away place where there are no problems and everything is perfect. After doing everything I needed to do I climbed out of the steaming shower. I quickly dried my hair straight and dressed in my pajamas. I scrambled my way into bed next to an unconscious Brady.

I didn't know whether it was that I was anxious to get on the road or whether I wasn't looking forward to going back to all the memories, but I found myself unable to fall asleep. I continued to toss and turn while my mind ran wild the thoughts that have continued to consume my mind over the last few weeks.

Brady was starting his first year in school at Forks Elementary. So once I arrived home I had the task of purchasing all of the things he would need to get started at school. I knew his transition to school life would be a little easier on him since I had accepted a job position as the grade one teacher. He would be lucky enough to have his mother with him at school all day keeping an eye on him.

When I had arrived in Phoenix 2 years ago, Renee was a big help in baby sitting Brady as I studied my bachelor in elementary teaching at Arizona State University. I had always had a love for children and there was nothing I felt more rewarding than educating a child and opening their eyes to the wonderful knowledge of the world.

I don't know at what point it happened but I must have fallen asleep because at 5.30am I could hear Brady calling me. "Mum, mum, mum, get up." I awoke to a very loud and excited Brady. "Mum, come on" I started to feel the mattress shake underneath me. I opened my eyes just enough to find Brady jumping up and down on the bed next to me "We're going be late mum, come on, come on". I turned to Brady and quickly pinned him down and started tickling him. "How do you like that huh?" his laughter filled the small room. "Stop…….mum……no I'm gonna get….you" we were both tackling each other on the bed mangling ourselves within the sheets whilst laughing and squealing.

We were soon interrupted by Renee in the doorway. "I see you've managed to wake each other up just fine." I let a very giggly Brady out of my grasp and sat up in bed. "Good morning mum. Sorry… if we woke you… and Phil" I tried to say in between breaths. I climbed out of bed and helped Brady out of the tangle of sheets. "We were already awake. I've even got breakfast ready so come downstairs before it gets cold." I turned to her and gave her an appreciative smile. My mother wasn't all that good when it came to cooking but somehow she had managed 2 meals within 24 hours. She was trying really hard to do all she could before she let us leave and she wouldn't know when she would see us again.

"Come on little guy, go get some breakfast into you before we have to leave." I gestured him out the door before he made his way running downstairs. "Brady, don't run" I shouted after him, I heard his footsteps immediately slow.

"Mum, just give me a minute to get dressed and I'll be downstairs in a sec." She nodded before heading downstairs after Brady. I made my way to the bathroom where I freshened up by rinsing my face and brushing my teeth. I pulled on my favourite pair of skinny jeans and black cotton t-shirt, I would have to make sure that I carried a jacket with me for when I arrive in Forks. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail before slipping into my black ballet flats.

When I made my way downstairs I found Brady sitting at the kitchen table digging into his plate of eggs and bacon. His appetite never ceased to surprise me for a five year old. He reminded me so much of Jake whenever I saw him hunched over a plate of food. His appetite was another trait that Jake had passed down to Brady, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Bella, what are you smiling about?" I snapped out of my reverie to find Renee looking at me with a small smile on her face. I always seemed to find myself unconsciously smiling whenever I thought about how similar Brady was to Jake. "Nothing" I shook my head to bring myself back to reality. I grabbed a piece of toast and sat down to eat. I was in no mood for food. I was feeling anxious to get on the road and settled back in to Forks.

We all ate our breakfast in silence, feeling the impending farewells thick in the air. I helped Renee quickly clean up before running upstairs to make sure I had everything packed and ready. I came to grab one of the suitcases before I felt a hand grab me by the arm. I turned around to find Phil reaching to clutch the suitcase out of my grasp. "Don't you even think about it Bella, Brady is waiting for you in the car. I'll grab these and I'll see you downstairs." I hated people treating me like I was incompetent. I was very capable of carrying my own suitcases down the stairs. "No Phil I'll be just fine…." He quickly cut me off before I had a chance to finish. "Now Bella, do I really need to remind you of your inability when it comes to walking on your own two feet?" he had an eyebrow raised at me waiting for my rebuttable. He knew very well I couldn't argue with him. "Well, since you put it that way." I let go of the suitcase giving him a weak smile before heading down into the car.

Once we arrived at the airport I checked in our luggage and tickets. Our bigger items like the electrical appliances and furniture I had made an effort to sell over the internet. I didn't spend much money on the household items here in Phoenix as I always knew it was going to be a temporary stay and I just didn't have the money to splurge at the time. The one thing that I was looking forward to was my home back in Forks. It had all our pre-existing furniture that Jacob and I had bought when we first got married. I had made sure that it be left unoccupied for the last 2 years as I couldn't bring myself to rent it out to strangers when there was so much history of Jacob in it, plus I stayed there on the occasions that I visited Forks.

When the time came to board our flight I could feel the tension thick in the air. Renee had been dreading this moment from the day I had announced the date of our trip back home. I looked over at her and found her discreetly trying to wipe away the tears while Phil kept a strong arm around her shoulder.

I held Brady by the hand making sure he never left my side and walked up to my mum. Without saying any words I gave her a tight hug wishing it was enough to make this farewell easier on her. After about a minute but what felt like hours I finally spoke, "Thank you, for everything you have done for me over the last 2 years. You know I could have never gotten through everything without you." I whispered in her ear. I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek before pulling back enough to look her in the eye and speaking again "I will make sure to have Brady back over here on his first school break ok?" She nodded her understanding before I let her go.

She bent down to kneel in front of an anxious Brady before giving him a big hug. "I love you my sweet Brady". I knew that it was taking her a lot of restraint to keep her emotions under cover. She had become so attached to Brady over the last two years that I knew it was going to be a difficult change for her to adjust to.

With a quick wave their way, I grabbed Brady's hand as we headed to board our flight. I wasn't teary but I was definitely upset about the life that I had come to create here in Phoenix. I continued walking to our flight gate number knowing that my destination was the only home that my heart was familiar with. This was it and there was no turning back. Two years ago I had run away from everything because I didn't have it in myself to keep going. Now three years after his death it was time to move forward and embrace the future.


Hope you liked it. There was alot of background information that needed to be mentioned in order to the story going!!

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