A.N: For all my readers.. I love you hard core! Thanks for reading and for you lovely words! Thank you TheMrsKing for dedicating this day Readers Appreciation Day!
This chapter is unbeta'd because its fucking 10:30 at night and wanted to post this today.
Jessie-This chapter is for you my lovie!
Bella sat there before me bewildered. I sat before her angry at myself for once again hurting her. Earlier in the office, it took all my self control to not run to Bella the moment Esme laid out the fuckary she did.
I shouldn't be surprised really. I mean, how much bullshit can one person take? The entire time of sitting there, reading Esme's mind, I learned that she knew things I didn't even know.
For instance, I have a brother! He is two years old and lives back in New York with his mother who was one of Carlisle's interns. Shocking isn't it?! I felt like I was in a bad infomercial when at the end they say, "but wait, that's not all!", because good ol' Pappy has also gotten a nurse pregnant here in Forks. I have a GREAT fucking role model don't I?
I watched as Bella clenched her chest and tears started falling from her eyes. I leaned over and pulled her to my lap, rocking her gently to sooth her. I did this to her. Perhaps Carlisle is right, I'm only gonna cause her pain and fuck up her life. Maybe me leaving now, is the best thing to do?
But the thought of me leaving, of not having her electric spark, not having her kiss, not having her silence- it was more then I could bare.
"Excuse me you two, break it up." The secretary said to us as she walked by the nurse's station.
"Fuck off." I said, as I stopped holding back and simply felt the pain. I let the tears flow freely as she gripped the front of my shirt tighter, pulling me impossibly closer to her.
Charlie showed up shortly after her and I dried our tears. He was in full uniform and his face taunt with anger. "Jessica Stanley, please." He said to the secretary at the front desk.
"Jessica Stanley please report to the principles office," the nasally voice sounded over the intercom system.
Bella was quiet as we held hands; I could feel her palms become sweaty as Charlie stayed out in the waiting area, jingling his keys. I brought her hand up to my lips, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. It didn't help; she was still nervous about Charlie and scared about me.
"Let's go. I'm sure Charlie is going to sign you out anyway." I pulled her up with me. I picked up her backpack walking out of the office against the protest of secretary.
"Dad, Edward is going to take me home, is that okay. I really don't want to be here when Jessica comes," Bella looked down at her feet as she spoke. I hated that shit. I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I knew what Rosalie and Alice had planned and damn it, I fucking have to witness that!
"Okay, but go straight home, your mother is already upset. Edward thanks." Charlie said, taking my hand into a firm formal hand shake. I nodded and wisped Bella out to the parking lot to the Volvo.
I knew the ride to her place would be too quick to talk about what needed to be talked about. Instead I gripped the steering wheel with two hands and sang along with the radio to turn Bella out of my mind.
Once we pulled up to her house, Renee was already waiting on the porch with the phone to her ear. When I got out I heard who and what she was talking about.
"I'll be damned if I'm going to let that little bitch get away with this. No one hurts my baby. I'm sure I can pay a classmate to kick her ass."
I laughed silently to myself, it was very obvious mama bear was not happy. I opened Bella's car door and quickly wrapped her hand in mine. She looked over at me curiously. I simply shook my head "no", and walked her up to her house.
Renee pulled her out of my grasp, into a warm motherly embrace. My hand instantly missed the comfort of her touch.
"What the fuck am I going to do without her?" I questioned myself. Bella's head snapped back looking at me. Her eyes flashed with anguish. I tilted my head toward the door and let myself into her house.
I walked straight up to her room, gripping my hair in my hands. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" the last one coming out a bit louder than I expected. I looked at myself in the mirror she had hanging over her dresser. My eyes were still red and slightly swollen from breaking down like a childish fucktard in the office. "Fucking dumb ass, can't believe I let her see me like that. I'm supposed to be strong for her, not a blubbering piece of shit."
"I would never think you are a blubbering piece of shit. I think it takes strength for a man to show emotion that raw in public. It shows he is comfortable with his manhood."
"I'm sorry none the less." I said back to her as she reached the top of the stairs. Once she was within arms reach, I pulled her to my chest and held on to her as if it were the last time she'd be in my arms.
"I can't let you go. I can't!" I said, softly to her. My chest tightened and tears threatened my eyes again. She is all I have, she is all that I am; how do I live without something the makes life worth living for?
This though sent a lump to my throat. I choked it down, fearing that I would cry again and look like a complete metro. That was Jasper's department, not mine. I never cried so much before, not even losing James, did I cry.
But, losing Bella? That is a whole different level of pain. My body felt wrong, distant from itself, torn down the middle with jagged edges, so that my body would never be the same again.
I felt her body shake under my embrace. "Please," she cried, "Please don't go. I can't live without you. Stay with me, please." Bella gripped my shirt into her fists, begging and pleading for something I really had no control over. It fucking broke my heart.
I pulled her inside the door way, closing it behind me, Renee is just gonna have to get over it. I bent down, placing my arm under her knees, and picked her up to carry her to her bed.
"Renee is going to come up here." Bella protested.
"Shh," I silenced her with a kiss, her soft pink lips setting of sun bursts of heat. She opened her mouth, allowing my tongue in brush forcefully against hers. My hand glided up her leg, over her waist, and found the hem of her shirt. I ran my index finger along the delicate skin of her slightly exposed stomach.
Fuck, I want to taste her there.
She wrapped her hands in my hair, pulling me on top of her. Renee now a distant thought shoved back in both of our heads. I press my weight on her, letting my hips grind into her heated center. I moaned in her mouth and she replied by lifting herself to my cock; gyrating her hips in small circles.
The sound of the old stairs quickly brought up back to the reality of the situation. I righted myself, wiping of my mouth, my heart raced in erratic beats. My cock pulsed with the same rhythm.
"I better go." I said, standing up, adjusting myself awkwardly in front of Bella. "Call you tonight," I bent down and kissed the top of her head, "I love you."
I turned and walked out before I could look like a little bitch again, saving the tears for when I was in the privacy of the Volvo.
Driving home, I turned off the radio and loathed the silence in my head. Bella has become such an intrinsic part of my life, the mere idea of not having her voice swimming inside my head, is unfathomable.
It's wrong and fucked up. It's fate's anarchy at its best. It's God's karma.
As I pulled onto my street I noticed the clothes askew on our front law. Esme was acting straight out of a Hollywood movie and throw King Asshat's clothes out their second floor bedroom window. I pulled into the drive way, parked my car next to Carlisle's, and walked into what was sure to be world war motherfucking three.
"No Carlisle, I do not want to hear your explanation! I want you to fucking leave until Edward and I move out!" I heard Esme yelling from upstairs and a loud thump sounded from out front.
"You can't leave! I won't allow it! Edward is my son too and you simply can not just take him away. Please let me explain." Carlisle pleaded back.
Fuck this shit. I am almost 18 mother fucking years old. I should at least have a fucking say in where I fucking live. I choose Forks.
A few months ago, those words would have never even entered my mind, but now…
"Since when do you care about Edward? Shit Carlisle, do you care about any of you children!"
"I love my son! How dare you suggest that I don't?!" Carlisle yelled loudly. It was followed by the sound of glass smashing.
"Let go of me! Get off!"
I ran up them taking two at a time. I rushed into my parent's bedroom to find that Carlisle had Esme by the shoulders, pushed up against the wall. The floor was littered with red roses, water, and a broken vase.
Grabbing Carlisle by the neck, I held him into a tight head lock cutting off his airways. It took about thirty seconds for him to pass out and I let him fall to the floor. He was still breathing and he'd come through really soon.
"Let's go, Mom." I held my hand out to her and we left the room, leaving Carlisle to wake alone.
We went to the local mom and pop place, not wanting to stay in the house. Esme's thoughts where scattered. They went from sad to angry, relieved to sorrowful. As much as I wanted to, right now I simply could not break her heart more by telling her I wanted to stay in Forks with Bella.
I'm an asshole but not a fucking asshole. Okay, I'm a fucking asshole, but not to my mother- never to my mother.
But what if we both stayed here? What if we made Carlisle look like the massive prick he was to the hospital board? He'd lose his job and have to leave and Esme could get it all…meaning, I could stay with Bella.
"Mom, let's not leave," I blurted out to her as she sipped her diet coke. "You can make this an ugly ass divorce, King Asshat could lose his job, and you in turn would get everything."
"Don't call your father names. Regardless of what he's done, he's still your father."
"Fine, take Carlisle to the cleaners." I revised. She gave me a potent look, raising her eyebrow at me.
"I love the way you think my son. I'll have to contact the attorney back in New York." She raised her glass, I raised mine and we toasted to fucking over King Asshat.
Esme made conversation, asking about Bella, school, and other random shit. I appeased her and chatted mindlessly with her. In the middle of our talk, I felt my phone vibrating.
"It's Bella, can I?" I asked. Esme smiled- I smiled back, "Hey love."
"Are you alright? You never called me and it almost eight!" I couldn't help but smile wider.
"Yeah, my mom and I are at the diner…"
"Oh, how odd, we are in the parking lot." I turned to look out the window of our booth, and I'd be damned, Charlie's cruisers' headlights had just turned off.
"See you in a sec then," hang up with Bella I told Esme the Swan's were going to be joining us.
Charlie pulled a chair over, allowing Bella and I to share a booth seat and Renee and Esme the other. We were all talking amongst ourselves when we heard the door chime ring. Esme stiffened, and I turned to see Carlisle enter the diner.
"Damn." Esme said softly.
"Esme, we need to talk. Please hear me out." Carlisle said, as he ran toward our table.
Charlie stood up, "Is there a problem here Dr. Cullen?"
"No, I just want to speak to my wife." Carlisle spat rudely. I noticed the vein in Charlie's neck protruded, a tall tell sign that he was pissed.
"I don't want to speak to you, please leave." Esme said, looking directly into Carlisle's dark, bloodshot eyes.
"NOW!" Carlisle yelled, causing the other four pardons in the diner to turn. Carlisle tried to pass Charlie. Charlie stopped him. Carlisle drew back and hit Charlie square in the face.
The three women yelled at the same time. I just smiled knowing good ol' pappy, was about to get rocked.
Charlie, with full force, hit Carlisle back, causing a loud cracking sound to resonate through the diner. Carlisle's fell, hitting his head on the wooden table behind us, and finally resting in a puddle of blood that was escaping from his mouth and nose.
"Come on," I pull Bella from the booth; Renee grabbed Esme's hand to leave. Esme stopped next to Carlisle, standing at his feet. She drew back and kicked Carlisle in the balls.
I kissed Bella good night and promised to pick her up in the morning. As Esme and I pulled out of the parking lot, an ambulance and Forks one other police sheriff pulled in to the diner.
At home, while Esme continued to throw out Carlisle things, I sat at the piano and played her favorite piece. It was the first time I played for her in over a year.
Okay, so if you haven't heard over at Twitter there are nightly twilight fanfic read along, come join us! You must- I repeat MUST read The Sound of Your Voice by Marie0912! It's in my favs!
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