A/N: 3 I'm glad ya'll are enjoying this. :3 because me and Amanda love it too. :3 a lot.
While the Doctors argued amongst themselves and the Sci-fi nerds wiped themselves out, Ehren, Amanda, Sarah and the fourth Doctor all trooped into his TARDIS and made themselves at home as Amanda and Ehren told the fourth Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith their plot to get to the Master, which as it turned out to be ridiculously simple and hardly needed the TARDIS to do it. However, one doesn't miss the opportunity to make a trip in the TARDIS when it's readily available.
"Use the TARDIS to locate the Master here," said Ehren, smiling at the fourth Doctor.
"You do realize that we could have just gone over to the sign with the Master's smiling face on the side of that building over yonder and wouldn't need the TARDIS to get us there, don't you?" asked the fourth Doctor, a small smile forming on his face.
"Of course we do, but then we wouldn't be able to appear in there and use the TARDIS to do it, now would we?" said Amanda.
The fourth Doctor grinned toothily at them. "That would be incentive to rain on his party, wouldn't it?"
"He's likely expecting someone to come walking in as well as come materializing in," said Sarah, "He isn't a fool."
"No, and we shan't disappoint him," said the fourth Doctor as he straightened up and started working on the console of the TARDIS. Once more, with feeling, the TARDIS ground to life with the sound of an old, rusted back-hoe and they disappeared from sight into the temporal vortex.
"What's that sound?" said the Doctor as he looked around. He finally noticed that the fourth Doctor had disappeared. "Oh…"
"Oh, indeed," muttered the ninth Doctor, "You should recognize that sound because it's the very thing you use on a day to day basis and this one nearly destroyed." The ninth Doctor then indicated the eighth Doctor.
"I didn't nearly destroy it. Someone else destroyed it for me!" said the eighth Doctor, pouting a bit. "It wasn't my fault! The old girl couldn't take it! I had to grow a new one."
"And when exactly did this happen? I don't recall it!" said the Doctor.
"Well, it was in one the book adventures, of course. Can't have everything I did be in America and everything!" said the eighth Doctor.
"The book adventures?" asked the Doctor, eyeing the eighth Doctor. He was clearly one lever shy of the full console. "Oh… those book adventures. Yes. Of course. And how long did it take you to grow a new one?"
"Well, you should know, since you're me and I'm you and all," said the eighth Doctor. "I was stranded and couldn't go anywhere."
"I'm still trying to figure out where River went off to," said the eleventh Doctor. "Does anyone care?"
"No," said the others.
"Why not?" asked the eleventh Doctor, pouting a bit.
"Because she is a great big irritation," said the Doctor.
"Meaning, she's no Rose Tyler," said Jack as he walked out to join the Doctors and enjoy the bantering amongst them. The Doctor fixed him with a dangerous look, but Jack simply smiled charmingly and stood near the Doctor. "Maybe not the brightest of the bunch, but she has heart and lots of nerve," he continued.
The ninth Doctor and the Doctor stood silent while the eleventh Doctor looked at the three of them. Just then, the eleventh Doctor was practically assaulted by a woman. It was River Song, only younger, and she was hugging the eleventh Doctor for all she was worth. "DOCTOR! I thought I would never see you again!" she cried out. "Oh, I see, it's the other Doctors, right? Still, you're the handsomest of them all, of course," said River Song, "And I still have that sonic screwdriver you gave me in case I was in trouble and it worked for me, of course! Oh, it's the greatest thing being the Doctor's wife! I absolutely love, love, LOVE being on adventures with you! But, you know, we still need to get back to my home at some point so that I can go on that archaeological dig I've so wanted to join in!"
"An… archaeologist?" asked the ninth Doctor, looking mildly disturbed. "Do you realize those are dead people, dead things, dead aliens and the like that you're disturbing? Let them rest!"
"What's wrong? Don't you love me already? I am your wife too, after all, since you are all the same man!... person… whatever," said River Song quickly.
Just then, the great writer in the sky dropped a discarded lightsaber on top of River Song. She split in half and fell to the ground in a smoking, cauterized mess. The eleventh Doctor sniffled as the Doctor looked up with the ninth Doctor wondering where the lightsaber came from. They'll never get me alive. Nyahahahahaha!
"Well, that was peculiar," said the eighth Doctor. "I agree, she was getting very vexing."
"THAT WAS MY WIFE!" cried the eleventh Doctor.
"And now she's two wives!" said the ninth Doctor. The Doctor looked torn between laughing and being reproachful toward the ninth. "Albeit, she's a little hard to talk to now what with being split in half and all; and it would be hard to have dinner with her or dance with her unless you held up both sides and squished them together, but then the smell might get to you after a while."
The Doctor attempted to keep a serious face on, but it was getting increasingly difficult with the ninth rambling off rather morbid jokes about the annoyance he just lost. Jack looked to the ninth Doctor and shook his head. "You're very morbid, you know that?"
"Oh! Glad to hear that! I often wonder if it isn't a product of being the last Timelord outside of the Master," said the ninth Doctor cheerfully.
"What in the blazes are you all standing about and yucking it up for, hmm?" asked an elderly voice from behind the eighth Doctor. All the Doctors knew that tone as they turned to look at the first Doctor. He eyed them imperiously as Susan, the Doctor's granddaughter, walked out after him dressed in her trendy, 1960s clothing. "The Master is trying to create chaos and the only things you lot can do is stand about and look silly."
"Hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness," said Jack to Susan as he took her hand.
"JACK," snapped all of the Doctors present.
"I'm just saying 'hello'!" he shot back at them.
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Harkness," said Susan politely and took her hand away. "Grandfather, why are we here? What is this place?"
"It's Cardiff, or what's left of it," said the first Doctor gruffly. "It doesn't matter, honestly. It's just Cardiff."
Susan eyed the first Doctor much the same way the Doctor eyed him, for the most part critical of that statement. "Now, grandfather, we should find a way to stop this, don't you think?" The first Doctor looked to his watch and nodded.
"Fine, I think we can spare a few minutes here," he said.
Jack looked to the Doctor and raised his eyebrows. The Doctor nodded and waved Jack off. The eleventh Doctor continued to sniffle over his loss like a whiny, little child as the eighth Doctor patted him on the shoulder. "Well! I think that's enough!" said the Doctor finally. "Let's go pay the Master a visit!"
"What about the nerds?" asked Jack.
"Torchwood can deal with them, right?" asked the Doctor, grinning at him winsomely.
"Yes, we can," said Jack, smirking faintly and walking back into the warehouse.
"What's going on? Doctor?"
The Doctor froze where he stood. Jack did as well. The ninth smiled faintly and looked over. "Over here, Rose! I was beginning to wonder where you went off to!"
The Doctor shot the ninth Doctor with a dark look and then turned very slowly to look over his shoulder. Out of the distance was the one thing he had not seen in a very long time and missed dearly. Jack smiled as he walked over to her and hugged her. "Rose!"
"Oh! Jack? Jack! You're all right!" cried Rose. She laughed as she hugged him back.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Oh, the Doctors are over there," he said and ushered her over.
"The.. Doctors? More than one? Have you gone barmy on me?" asked Rose until she got closer and stared. "You… haven't, have you?"
The Doctor smiled brightly at her. "Hello, Rose!"
The ninth Doctor nodded toward her and grinned broadly at her. "Welcome to Cardiff! Although, granted we're in the middle of a sort of science fiction nerd invasion, but that's easily dealt with."
"Who's this little girl?" asked the first Doctor.
The eighth Doctor smiled and offered his hand. "Hello, I'm the Doctor."
The eleventh stared at Rose a bit like a creepy high school boy from behind his longish dark hair covering his eyes. Rose looked to them all and looked very much like she felt she was being put on. "You're… putting me on, right?" she asked the ninth Doctor.
"No, no, this is what we are—what I am. I regenerate into another man and have done so eight times, that one being my previous incarnation," said the ninth Doctor as he indicated the eighth Doctor. "And this one is the one I will go into." He then indicated the Doctor.
The Doctor was staring and it was making Rose feel somewhat uncomfortable. He wasn't bad looking; he sort of resembled a puppy with very big brown eyes and messy hair. The Doctor smiled at her a bit more and turned fully, his hands in his pockets. She smiled a little, sort of keeping her distance. "So, you're also the Doctor?"
"Yes, well, give or take a few years I'm the same Doctor you travel around with," said the Doctor.
"We don't have time to stand around, Doctor. Either kiss her or move along. We have the Master to deal with," said the first Doctor irritably. The Doctor blushed faintly and shot him a short look before smiling a bit to Rose. Rose also flushed quite a bit, though she was smirking faintly.
Meanwhile, the fourth Doctor landed the TARDIS and Sarah, Ehren, Amanda and the fourth Doctor walked out of it into the old building the TARDIS had taken them to. It was old, but the air was cleaner than it should have been. There was an old, musty smell to it, but the smell wasn't as thick as it should have been. It was in use. All around them were all sorts of weapons and various things. There were even several TARDISes scattered around. And in the middle, sitting behind a desk with that signature insane little smile upon his chubby cheeked face, sat the Master.
"I was beginning to wonder when you would appear, Doctor! Oh, I see it's one of the old versions. What is this one, four-point-oh?" said the Master, tapping his finger on the desk in a rhythmic fashion. Amanda started mimicking it as did Ehren. The Master smiled even more. "Oh, so I see you've got a pair with you who know the drums."
"Here come the drums, here come the drums!" sang Ehren and started dancing rather oddly. "Whoo!"
"What is this? What are you doing?" asked the Master as he stood up. "No, no, no! You don't dance like that! Honestly, you have no rhythm. You dance like this!" And then the Master started dancing.
The fourth Doctor looked to Sarah and raised his eyebrows at her. She shrugged and looked to the Master dancing until the Master stopped and straightened his clothes. "Now! Where are the others?"
"The other Doctors are here!" called the Doctor as he stood at the other side of the room with Rose's hand in his. He had run all the way over and grabbed her hand out of reflex to pull her along. The ninth, eighth, first and eleventh Doctors all came up behind him.
"YES! Rose is back!" shouted Ehren.
"I still think Donna and the Doctor are cute," said Amanda, "But Rose is cool."
"Donna and the Doctor are funny together, yeah," said Ehren.
"Now is not the time to play matchmaker!" shouted the Doctor.
"Oh, is the Doctor with his little sweetheart? Too bad she's going to die very easily when this place gets hit by the firepower from the Millennium Falcon up in the sky," said the Master. "Free lightsabers and phasers for all the little children!"
Suddenly, the Master fell over as Susan, Ehren and Amanda each hit him with whatever they could get their hands on. The Doctors all looked at one another. "Well, that was… anti-climatic," said the Doctor.
"There's the Millennium Falcon up in the sky," said Ehren, "the question is: who's driving it?"
"Maybe he brainwashed Han Solo and is having him on standby," said Amanda.
"Maybe." The building suddenly shook and the Doctors, Susan, Rose, Ehren, Amanda and Sarah all stumbled. The building was being fired upon. "I think that answers the question of if it's in the sky!"
"We'll have to get on board, but how? The TARDIS can't fit on there," said Amanda.
"The Millennium Falcon is firing on us? How?! It's not real!" cried Rose.
"Nevermind that!" snapped the Doctor. "We need to get out of here before this whole place explodes!" And so they all ran into the fourth Doctor's TARDIS and slammed the doors shut.
As they disappeared, the Master got up, dusted himself off and smirked deviously. They would actually believe the Millennium Falcon is up in the sky?" He laughed loudly as the building shook again. "Well, that's my cue!" Then, he jogged over to his TARDIS hiding amongst the other TARDISes and shut the door. The building collapsed as soon as his TARDIS dematerialized from the area. Outside, in the sky, there really was the Millennium Falcon, however, with several Whitestars flying after it and firing.
The fourth Doctor's TARDIS appeared outside of the Torchwood building, the people inside of it walking out and looking to the sky. Ehren looked up and stared for a long moment. "No fucking way," she said.
"What?" asked Amanda.
"Those are fucking Whitestars from Babylon 5! What the fuck are they doing here?!" cried Ehren.
"Better yet, who's driving the Falcon?" asked Amanda.
"Oh, it would be really wicked if Pan Solo was really in that spaceship," said Rose.
"Han Solo," Ehren and Amanda corrected her.
"Sorry," muttered Rose.
"The problem isn't who's in the Millennium Falcon anymore. The problem now is who is driving the Whitestars. Those fuckers have Vorlon technology in them as well as Minbari. They're mostly organic and heal themselves!" said Ehren quickly.
"They're here because I want them to be here!" said the Master as he popped from out of his TARDIS and grinned broadly at them a little too cheerfully. "The multitudes of nerds wreaking havoc, the Millennium Falcon with some little girl I found in California driving it, and those lovely Rangers flying the Whitestars; I brought them all here! And now, they're all going to come after you!"
Just then, the Millennium Falcon shot the Master's TARDIS out from behind him. He shot forward and skidded to a halt in front of the first Doctor and Susan. Susan put her foot on the back of the Master's head and pushed him down. "Oh, look, grandfather, we have ourselves a guest."
"JACK!" shouted the Doctor.
Two great big lasers fired at the Whitestars from the Torchwood warehouse and shot out the back fins of the small spaceships. The pair of Whitestars glided down and landed rather roughly, but nonetheless intact. The Millennium Falcon, however, landed without much effort. Out popped a rather familiar face for Amanda and Ehren as she hopped down and ran over. "EHREN!" shouted Alexiel as she ran for them. "AMANDA!"
Alexiel, much shorter than either Amanda or Ehren, had long dark hair and a sort of olive skin tone. She hugged Ehren and Amanda both and looked to the Doctors, Susan, Rose and Sarah. "Er… who are they?"
"You… don't know who the Doctor is?" asked Amanda.
"Well, I've seen one episode of Torchwood and I've seen David Tennant before and Jack Harkness is fucking awesome, but.. um… no?" said Alexiel.
"So, exactly how did you end up here, then?" asked Amanda.
"Well, I was back home and that guy there asked me if I wanted to be a Jedi. I said 'yes' and he showed me the Millennium Falcon and said 'I want you to drive that' and I said 'motherfucking smugglers, yes!' and yeah, there you go," said Alexiel.
"So you don't know about Doctor Who?" asked Amanda.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Off my damn head!" shouted the Master.
"No, I like my foot where it is, if you don't mind too terribly," said Susan.
"Enough, Susan. Doctors, if you would be so kind and deal with the Master," said the first Doctor. Susan stepped back as the Doctor and the ninth Doctor took hold of the Master and hauled him up.
"It was funny when I made you think I died," said the Master, "Because you looked so pitiful it made my day that much better. Have you since developed some sort of crush on me—ow!"
"Enough of that, Master, now off you go into the TARDIS where a nice holding cell will be brilliant for you," said the ninth Doctor, grabbing the Master by the ear. "Rose! We're leaving!"
Rose looked to the Doctor and then to the ninth Doctor. The Doctor looked at her with a longing gaze, but said nothing. She frowned deeply and looked to the ninth Doctor again. The Doctor piped up, but it wasn't anything she wanted to hear, really. "Hey! Doctor! What about all of these people?! We have to do something about them!"
"Oh yeah! I forgot about them, what with them being silent and all!" said the ninth Doctor as he popped his head out of the TARDIS. He walked out, now Master-less, and dusted himself off as the Master shouted incomprehensible obscenities at the ninth Doctor from inside his TARDIS. "Now, what shall we do with all these children?"
"I would think a certain amount of clean-up would be called for, however, I think the attempt would be quite useless with the sheer number of things we would need to collect," said the fourth Doctor as he lifted up someone's arm and tossed it aside. He crouched down and pushed the brim of his hat up a bit, looking around. "Does Torchwood have anything to deal with this? Or is that warehouse all they have now?"
"That's all as far as I know," said the Doctor.
"Rangers!" shouted Ehren. Indeed, several men and Minbari staggered toward them a bit banged up and worse for wear, but nonetheless alive. The Minbari all were bald and had jagged or smooth bone-like coverings over the base to the back of their heads. The humans were male and female of various colorations, but the humans and Minbari each were wearing identical, brown color schemed clothing with a long dark brown coat over it all. "Hey! Rangers! We need ya'll's help! Are ya'll able?"
One of the human men looked up and moved ahead of the others, standing in front of Ehren, Amanda and Alexiel calmly. "You recognize us?" he asked. He was fairly tall with short dark hair and seemed to be in his thirties.
"Yeah, I know who ya'll are. Could ya'll help us clean up this mess and give it all a good send off in space?" asked Ehren.
The Ranger looked around at the mess and sighed. "That might be the only way to deal with it. Yes, we will, but we have no working ships. Our Whitestars are down and we're… all not entirely certain why we're here."
"Well, we could explain, and that would extend the story longer, but I'm sure the audience is getting a bit restless now for some sort of conclusion or action," said Alexiel.
"Your ships have organic parts, right? Self healing and all that," said the Doctor quickly.
"Well, yes, they are part Minbari, part Human and part Vorlon technologies," said another Ranger, a Minbari.
"Well, I think maybe if we put our heads together we might excellerate the process a little," the Doctor said and looked to his other lives with a winsome smile. "Shall we?"
"We shall," said the eighth Doctor cheerfully.
And so they worked. Some of the Rangers aided the Doctors as they worked, but mostly they stood by in bewilderment as the Doctors seemed to assess the pair of Whitestars and the technology involved and began to work with it. Eventually, both Whitestars were flight capable as Jack walked out of the Torchwood warehouse, smiling. Then, Jack also helped the Rangers get the body parts into the Whitestars slowly alongside the fourth, eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh Doctors. The first Doctor stayed out of it and watched from the sidelines with Susan beside him.
"They're ready to go!" cried the Doctor, grinning brilliantly at the Whitestar crews. "Good luck! Oh! Since you don't belong here in this time or in this world, a couple of us are going to take you to your home dimension, so if you'll wait just a tick we'll be ready!"
"May I go with you, Doctor?" asked Rose. The ninth Doctor snapped his head around and frowned at Rose, but smiled after a moment. Rose smiled broadly at the Doctor. "If you don't mind, that is, of course."
The Doctor smiled faintly and moved away from her. "You'll have plenty of adventures with me in your future." Rose's smile faded and the Doctor looked away. He smiled after a moment, though it looked fake, and said cheerily, "After all, what's the need for wandering about with me when you'll end up doing it anyway!"
Rose laughed a little, but there wasn't any humor in it, the feeling she was getting from the Doctor affecting her. "Yeah, right, of course," she said.
The ninth Doctor rolled his eyes and took Rose by the hand. "Come along then, Rose. There's a whole galaxy awaiting us and more timelines than you can imagine!"
The fourth Doctor eyed the Doctor. "I've become almost self-loathing in my years, haven't I?" he asked.
"You have no idea," Amanda muttered. The Doctor looked away.
"All right then! Show's over, everyone goes home and we all live happily ever after," said the Doctor quickly in a much higher tone. He clapped his hands together and smiled cheerfully at Ehren, Amanda and Alexiel.
"And what about the Millennium Falcon," asked Alexiel.
"Oh, that? I'm sure no one will miss it. Besides, it's just a replica," said the Doctor.
"You just don't want us to get into the Star Wars universe, don't you," said Amanda.
"Exactly!" said the Doctor. "Good to see you all are quite up on your toes!"
"Oh, for God's sake, Doctor, go and kiss Rose goodbye, at the very least!" Ehren eyed the Doctor sharply and he looked away. When he didn't move she threw her hands up in the air and shouted, "Oy!"
And so the various Doctors all went back to their TARDISes and they each disappeared in turn. The eighth Doctor helped the Doctor tow the two Whitestars to their proper place and the Whitestars jettisoned boxes with the body parts in them out into space. Ehren tugged on the Doctor's sleeve as they sat there in space watching the Whitestars. "Hey, can we get a looksee of Babylon 5?" she asked.
The Doctor chuckled and changed the image on his screen. "There she is," he said. Ehren gasped and giggled.
"Amanda! Alexiel! Look! It's Babylon 5!" she shouted at them.
Amanda and Alexiel walked over and looked at the five mile long space station out in front of Epsilon 3. "So we're allowed here, but we're not allowed in Star Wars? That's not fair," said Alexiel. "I want to be a Jedi," she pouted.
"Well, you won't be a Jedi and we're not going to the station either," said the Doctor as he switched the screen back to the Whitestars. Then, the TARDIS ground to life again and slipped into the temporal vortex once again.
When they landed, Alexiel was let out in front of her home. She hugged Ehren and Amanda and jogged away from the TARDIS to her house. The TARDIS started up again and they were in front of Ehren's house. Ehren picked up her purse and looked to the Doctor with a tired, irritated look. "You really need to find someone to travel around with you, preferably either Donna or Rose. Either one is good for your health."
"I don't need to have anyone with me," said the Doctor, "I'm a Timelord."
"I'm a Timelord," mocked Amanda, "Look, get someone, preferably NOT River Song, and stop moping!"
"Yeah, you're aggravating when you mope," said Ehren.
The Doctor pointed to the doors. "Doors. Home. Out." Amanda and Ehren rolled their eyes, looked to each other, shook their heads and walked out of the doors, muttering things like "stupid, emo git" and "stupid hero complex". The Doctor grunted and closed the doors behind them and leaned on them. He went back to his console and pulled some levers, checked his coordinates and promptly ran into something. "What the devil?"
He hopped to the door and opened it carefully, looking out. He was surprised to see the inside of another TARDIS and the ninth Doctor waving. "Hello! Just a small bit of weaving for a few moments. I thought you might like a proper goodbye! Rose, go on!"
The Doctor didn't have a moment to think about what his previous self had said as Rose latched onto him suddenly and hugged him tightly. When the Doctor registered what she was doing he hugged her back just as tightly. She pulled back a bit and flushed a bit as she moved away from him. "I'm glad I'll get to continue traveling with you, Doctor."
The Doctor smiled a little and leaned on the doorframe. "Yes, of course. You'll get to travel around a lot with me."
"All right, weaving becoming unstable! It's time to go back, Rose!" called the ninth Doctor.
The Doctor watched as Rose moved away a little, but not very far. "You should move back, Rose. Doing this is very tricky, of course," said the Doctor. The TARDISes lurched as one and the Doctor ran into Rose, his lips on hers suddenly. Rose's eyes went wide as she caught him. The ninth Doctor whistled as he pulled move levers and tapped things on his console. The Doctor kissed Rose a little longer than necessary, but Rose didn't complain.
He moved away from her and grinned broadly, his hair messier than usual thanks to her. "I still got it," he said and winked at her. Rose flushed more and smirked faintly. His impish smile faded a little as he spoke again, "Go on then, enjoy yourself. Plenty of things to do and see with the Doctor, right Doctor?"
"Oh plenty!" said the ninth Doctor "All right then, close the doors!"
Rose closed the doors to the ninth Doctor's TARDIS as the Doctor closed his. He went back to his console and stabilized the TARDIS as the other TARDIS broke away and disappeared. "Well, that was certainly an interesting adventure," he said to no one, "Now, for another great big adventure."
And with that the TARDIS went hurtling through the temporal vortex with its single passenger; albeit, the passenger was whistling a merry tune and not really caring that his hair was still quite messy and he had lipstick on his mouth.