Losing Bella fucking killed me, but somewhere under all that pain was a weird relief. It was like I knew the timing was all wrong for us. I needed to sort shit out myself first before dragging her into it. I'd known that bringing her home that day was not the right thing to do, and I'd even considered that it would be one step too far but I couldn't handle it. I couldn't change. I didn't even really want to.
Bella had, of course, run straight to that fucking gorilla. Jacob Black. Hero extraordinaire. I watched her cross the road and into his ape arms.
I just fucking drove away. I couldn't look back.
I'd gone home. Five minutes in the fucking place and Emmett was on my back. So I punched him. He hardly flinched and knocked six shades of shit out of me for my trouble but I'd still done it. It made me feel stronger than I ever had in my life. Losing Bella was the kick I needed, and the irony of that nearly drove me insane.
I dreaded school the monday after, couldn't stand the thought of seeing Bella again and not being able to fuck her. So I sorted that out. I went in early on the monday and set fire to the Art room. Sort of ceremonial I thought. Expelled and a suspended sentence. Lovely. My father was so proud.
Rose had actually started shrieking when she'd heard what I had done. I just threw my glass of coke in her face and told her to shut the fuck up. She had. For 24.9 seconds. Then all hell had broken lose.
My father was at 'his wits end' so I made it very simple for them. I just got the fuck out of there.
Jasper, my best friend from Sebs had been fitted out in a little condo by his rich fuck of a father. He'd always been a year ahead of me anyway and now was in college in California though, knowing Jazz as I did, I doubted he did much studying. He had a way of getting away with murder, always had. Charmed the pants off his teachers in Sebs and I didn't doubt in college too.
So I made my way there, drove through the night. Arrived exhausted and pretty much broken hearted on his doorstep. He'd welcomed me with a joint and a husky 'welcome to california man'... I loved the guy.
At first I only planned to stay a couple of days, but that turned into weeks and then months. I got a stupid job playing piano for a ballet class. I got some courage and rang my father and told him I wasn't coming back and why. I heard through Alice that Rose got all the blame for losing me my career in medicine, my father pretty much stopped having any time for the silly cow from then on.
But much as my life was starting over, I still had one defining motivation. Every single thing I did, and every choice I made was spurred on by one thing, one person.
I would get her back. That was the first thing I thought every morning, and the last thing I thought every night.
If it took me ten years, I would return to Forks and be the guy she had thought I was the first time round.
Of that I was sure.
Make sure to put me on Author Alert if you want to read the sequel to If A Tree Falls!! I should have the first chapter up this week!!
Thanks for reading!! It has been so much fun to write and hear from you all!! Big thanks to my friend Mrs Moth(READ HER STORY BROKEN FLOWERS IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY!)and also to Pam who urged me to put more into this story at the beginning...!! Don't forget to comment - I will always want to hear what you think!!
xxxx MLWE xxxx