Remus' eyes open slowly to find Sirius' livid face above his.
"The cat has got to go!"
Remus blinks. "Why?"
"It has woken me up by attacking my bloody feet every morning this week!" Sirius shoves his leg into the bunk. "I have evidence!"
Shakespeare hops up beside Remus and purrs loudly, and Remus strokes its head, making Sirius even angrier.
"It knows I'm angry and it's trying to get you on its side!"
"Sirius," Remus sighs, appearing truly upset. "Shakespeare stays. I'm sorry."
Sirius shakes his head and turns away from his friend and the evil cat.