Summary: When Naruto ends up at Hogwarts due to a freak accident, he attaches himself to the most unapproachable person there. But that's Naruto for you. SSNU

Pairings: Severus/Naruto (yes you read that right), Draco/Harry, mentions of Neville/Luna, Blaise/Hermione, and Ron/Lavender.

Disclaimer: I tried to buy the rights to Harry Potter and Naruto on Ebay, but I lost the damn bid. Therefore, neither belongs to me.

Warnings: This has SLASH and HET pairings. Beware of some violence, language (Naruto and his potty-mouth), and some mature content (which means sex people). Also beware of Ron bashing (because it's just too easy) and Snape's vocabulary (it can crush you!). There might be some OOC and beware of the dreaded fluff. If anything of the above disturbs/irritates you, don't bleeding read the story.

Author's Note: I couldn't help myself! I saw Severus and Naruto and I had to write a story about them, because seriously; how cool is their pairing? XD I would've put this under crossover, but I would like people to add it to C2's (which you can't with crossovers) so I just put it under the HP section. Please enjoy the read!

"Talking" / 'Thinking' / "Spells/Jutsu"/ Letters/Writing / "Kyuubi"

Hanging by a Moment
Chapter One: Arrival

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. (Lao Tzu)

He held up the book then. "I'm reading it to you for relax."

"Has it got any sports in it?"

"Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders . . . . Pain. Death. Brave men. Cowardly men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles."

"Sounds okay," I said, and I kind of closed my eyes. (William Goldmen, the Princess Bride)

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. (Anonymous)

The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority. (Ken Blanchard)

Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it. (Anon)

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
October 31st, 1997

"Albus," said Severus Snape, as patiently as he could, "I have already protested against this."

Albus Dumbledore beamed at him happily under his fuchsia pink wizard hat. Severus' eye twitched when he saw the bright blue hummingbird circle around it quickly. He hated the old coot's sense of "style." If it could be called that.

"Now, my boy, you've never done this before!" Albus exclaimed. "It's about time that you helped decorate for the feast."

"Albus," Severus said, his voice growing more strained. "I don't want to help you put up ridiculously plebian and outdated pumpkins, nor do I wish to enchant bats to swoop out of the ceiling to subsequently scare the idiotic students that populate the halls. I have an important potion to be working on, and I don't want to be here." Severus added in a glare for good measure.

"That's nonsense, my boy, nonsense!" Albus said, floating a hollowed out pumpkin with a candle inside of it up to the ceiling. Against the bright October sky the Great Hall ceiling was currently showing, the showy object looked ridiculous, but Severus knew that against the nighttime sky it would look sufficiently scary enough to terrify any half-witted moron out there. Of which, he did not count himself among, of course. "Why would you wish to do anything else?"

Severus sneered. "Because I have better and far more productive ways of wasting my time and energy, Albus," he snapped all pretence at patience gone. Too annoyed, he missed the slight twitch of Albus' mouth that signified a smile.

"Now, Severus, think of all the fun it will be for the children!" he said.

Severus' sneer deepened to an almost alarming degree. "Since when," he said, "have I ever cared to consider what those children find interesting?"

Albus stopped to think for a moment before nodding his head. "Well you do have a point there," he admitted. Then his eyes brightened. "But it's never too late to start!" He beamed. Severus wondered if the Ministry would believe that his case of accidental murder. Perhaps not, since Albus was so powerful. 'Damn.'

Severus opened his mouth, willing to try once more to convince Albus to release him before he simply solved the problem and walked away when a loud bang echoed throughout the Great Hall. Both wizards instantly swirled, wands in their hands and eyes on the lookout. A large cloud of smoke was rising a few feet from them in what was, Severus noticed, the exact center of the giant room. The smoke was an unusual color; a bright, electrifying blue. Severus' eyes narrowed and he slowly moved towards it. Albus followed closely behind him.

The smoke was clearing rapidly and when Severus reached it, it had all but disappeared. The black-haired man watched as the rest of it drifted away to reveal . . . a boy.

The boy looked no older than a sixth year, and had long, spiky blond hair that almost reminded Severus of Potter's in the way it hung messily on his head. He was tanned and dressed in plain, tight-fitting black clothes that made his bright coloring stand out all the more. He had a sword and a mask that had an eerie looking face of a fox etched onto it strapped to his hip. But, what was the strangest thing of all about the boy was that there were three dark whisker marks on either cheek, making him look somewhat like the fox on his mask.

Severus tapped the boy's body with his foot. However, the boy just fell over limply. Severus knelt, wand still out and ready, and checked the blond's eyes. He sighed when he realized that the boy was obviously unconscious.

"Albus, he's unconscious," he said. The other wizard had come behind him and was currently standing, wearing an odd expression as he stared down at the newcomer.

"Very well," Albus said, completely serious. "Come. Let's bring him up to the Infirmary so that Poppy can take a look at him and we can figure out why he's here. Severus, if you would?"

Severus scowled down at the boy on the floor. "Levicorpus," he said, pointing his wand at the boy's prone body. The blond moved into the air, and Severus directed him out of the Great Hall and towards the Hospital Wing, following Albus who was leading at a rather brisk pace.

When they arrived, the Hospital Wing was empty, to Severus' relief. The nosy brats would be chattering away to their friends if they saw the strange newcomer. Poppy came out from her office when she heard them enter and gasped when she saw the blond hanging limply in the air. She hurried forward, wand at the ready.

"What's happened?!" she cried. "Has there been an attack?! Who is this boy?!"

"We don't know," Severus said drily as he floated the boy over to a bed and let him drop onto it with a soft plop. "He appeared in the Great Hall."

Poppy paused and gave Severus an odd look. "Appeared? What do you mean by that?"

"There was a flash of smoke, and then he was there, Poppy," Albus explained, coming close to the hospital bed so he could examine the boy. "We don't know who he is, or why he's here. This is why we'd like him to be conscious. So, if you could please check him over for us?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Poppy said, waving her wand over the boy's head. A bright list of medical words sprung up, all of which were mollycoddle to Severus, but which Poppy understood. Her face grew stern as she read the results.

"Well, his unconsciousness is something that can be solved with a simple Revival potion," she said. "But what worries me is that there's a long history of malnutrition, and this . . . ." She stripped the boy of his shirt to reveal a slim chest. Severus blinked when he saw the large, white star-shaped scar over where the boy's heart surely was. "That's not a normal scar," Poppy said seriously. "It could only be done by putting a hand through his chest. But, strangely, other than that he's sound. No history of broken bones or torn muscle tissue, even around that scar of his. Do you want me to wake him up?"

"Yes, Poppy," Albus said gently. "We could have, I suppose, done it ourselves, but I wanted to make sure that his unconsciousness wasn't due to something else entirely." Poppy nodded and made her way to her office, where she kept a supply of Potions.

"I wonder who he is, Severus," Albus said. "It's very curious that a boy should suddenly appear like that in the Great Hall. I suppose I shall have to check the wards now," Albus sounded disappointed at that. "I'll call Minerva and ask her to finish decorating." Severus rolled his eyes. Of course Albus would be disappointed that he couldn't continue decorating.

Poppy re-appeared and set about administering the Potion. She gently lifted the blond's head and opened his mouth, dribbling some of the bright red liquid down his throat, a little bit at a time. The boy eventually swallowed all of it.

"It should only take a minute . . . ." Poppy trailed off when the boy's eyes flickered beneath the lids and then slowly opened. Severus blinked when he saw that the color – despite being hazy from his unconsciousness – was one of the brightest, deepest blues he'd ever seen in the human eye. It was a remarkable color. The boy blinked slowly before sitting up rapidly, hand going to his thigh in a purely subconscious gesture. Severus noticed for the first time that there was a black pouch strapped against his thigh; he hadn't noticed it before because it blended in so completely with the boy's pants. The boy shook his head and his eyes cleared. He tensed when he realized that he was not alone in the room and, quicker than Severus' eye could follow, drew a short, sharp looking knife and pointed it threateningly at Albus.

The boy opened his mouth and spoke, but the words were of a different language. Severus frowned; it sounded vaguely Asian, but he had never been an expert in languages. Albus carefully got out his wand (earning a pointed comment from the blond and a jab of the knife) and waved it above the boy's head. The blond stiffened, but didn't move. It was only after Albus tucked the wand into his sleeve again that he spoke.

"Who the hell are you people?!" he said sharply, speaking in English this time.

"Who are you is what we should be asking," Severus said with a sneer. The blond seemed to notice him for the first time and his eyes widened in shock.

"Holy shit! You're not an Uchiha, are you?!" he asked, scrutinizing Severus carefully. Severus sneered.

"No. My name is Severus Snape and I have no idea who these "Uchiha" people are. Now who are you?" he pointed his wand at the blond threateningly. The blond looked at it in curiosity.

"Naruto Uzumaki," he said. "Where am I? I can't be in Konoha, because we don't carry sticks as weapons there and I've never seen you two before. Maybe I'm in Suna? But why would Gaara turn me prisoner? Am I even in the Elemental Countries?" He turned to Albus expectantly. Severus turned to the Headmaster as well and was shocked to see the look of surprise on the old coot's face.

"You're from the Elemental Countries?" he asked. Uzumaki nodded. "That isn't where you are now," Albus said, shock fading and starting to be replaced with a look that looked eerily like glee. "You're currently in Europe." Naruto's head tilted to the side in confusion.

"Europe? What's that?" Severus wondered if the boy was mentally sound.

Albus, however, just smiled gently and said, "I suppose your people would call it the Outside."

The blond stilled completely for a second before jumping to his feet and exploding, "THE OUTSIDE! What! Shit, Tsunade-baba is gonna kill me! That teme I was fighting must have done this! How else could I have gotten past the barrier? Shit!"

"What are you talking about?" Severus inquired silkily. Blazing blue eyes turned towards him.

"I'm talking about the reason I'm here, bakayaro," he spat out. Severus' eyebrows raised into his hairline. He didn't know whatever language the blond was spouting randomly, but he recognized an insult when he heard one.

"And what reason is that? I can't discern anything from your inconsequential ramblings." Uzumaki blinked several times before giving an indignant huff.

"Stupid big words," he muttered before turning up his nose at Severus. "I don't see why I have to explain anything to you."

Severus' lips pursed. "You are in a school, Uzumaki. We have to make sure you are not dangerous to the children, and figure out the reason why you were able to get through the barriers around these grounds when no one else has managed to penetrate them. Now, have those reasons gotten through your thick skull, or do I need to repeat them to make them clearer for you?!"

"Severus," Albus admonished, but Severus just gave him a glare. He turned back to Uzumaki and was unsurprised to see angry blue staring up at him. They engaged in a staring contest for a few moments before Uzumaki sighed and his eyes lost their anger.

"Fine," he muttered petulantly. "I'll tell you." Albus leaned forward in interest. "I was fighting another shinobi," Uzumaki said, apparently unaware that the word didn't translate over. Severus sighed. Translation spells were tricky that way. Sometimes a word couldn't transfer over and would be replaced with the original language. "He was a tricky one, but I managed to corner him. When I did, he started to make hand signs; they went so fast that I couldn't see them. About halfway through I interrupted his signing, and I was surrounded by blue light. That's the last thing I remember before waking up here."

Uzumaki glared at them with hot blue eyes, daring them to disbelieve him. Severus snorted, a little admiring of the punk's boldness, but mostly annoyed by it. Albus spared him one of his looks, but it lasted for only a second before he turned back to Uzumaki with a grandfatherly smile on his face. Uzumaki continued to eye him suspiciously however, and Severus had to wonder what kind of society he came from if he couldn't be drawn in by Albus' tricks like everyone else. He may love the man like a father, but he could recognize manipulation when he saw it.

"We believe you, Naruto," Albus soothed, seeing the obvious challenge in Uzumaki's face. "But now we have to figure out how to get you back."

"Why can't we use a Portkey?" Severus interjected, scowling in Uzumaki's direction.

Albus shook his head. "There's no way for a Portkey to transport someone over the barrier between the Countries and us. In fact, there's generally no way to do it; not even Fawkes can make it past." Severus blinked in surprise; a phoenix couldn't make it past this barrier? It had to be pretty damn hardy then . . . . Uzumaki puffed up in pride.

"That barrier was made by the first Kage's of the Countries," he said with a small grin on his face. "Nothing can get through."

"Except, apparently, you, Mr. Uzumaki," Severus told him dryly, annoyed by the boy's arrogance, even if it was justified a bit.

Uzumaki drooped like a flower in winter. "Well, Tsunade-baba always did say I was hard-headed," he murmured, looking a little forlorn. Albus, being the soft-hearted idiot he was, hurried to reassure the blond.

"Don't worry, Naruto, we'll get you home soon, I'm sure! After all, although we can't get in, your people can get out, can't they? Soon they'll realize you're missing—"

"It'll take a while before they think to look Outside, Dumbledore-san," Naruto interrupted. He screwed up his face. Severus couldn't help but think that thinking seemed to be a painful process for Uzumaki. "If there was a shinobi already working out here though, then I could send a message through," he offered. "I try to get home by myself, but we're not taught the technique to open the barrier until we're 25."

Albus frowned. "I don't personally know any – what was the name you used? - shi-no-bi besides yourself. I can try and use my contacts to find one, but it will be difficult, as people from the Elemental Countries don't advertise themselves openly . . . . In the meantime, I don't think you're a threat. You're welcome to stay at the castle."

Uzumaki's eyes widened. "Castle?" he asked. "You live in a castle?" He sounded childishly delighted by it, Severus thought in disgust.

Albus smiled at the blond's enthusiasm. "Yes. Our school is called Hogwarts, and it is located in Scotland, Europe." Albus hesitated for a moment before asking, "Naruto, do you happen to know anything about magic?"

"Magic: a skill, usually hereditary, that comes only from the people of the Outside. Chakra is similar, but they travel on different pathways and have different rules," Naruto answered absently, his attention drawn to the window and the darkening sky outside. Albus' eyebrows shot into his hairline.

"The Countries know so much about us?" he asked, looking intrigued. Naruto turned to him with a small smile.

"We're shinobi, Dumbledore-san; it's our job to know things."

Severus interrupted with a sneer, "Can we get past this drivel now, Headmaster? There is still the matter of where to put the brat until he can manage his way home."

Albus turned a smile full of twinkles and joy on him and Severus twitched. He knew that look; but, more importantly, he knew that nothing good came from that look. The Look™ was to be feared and avoided at all costs. And when Albus turned its full monstrosity on Severus, he had the sinking feeling that the Headmaster had something mischievous in mind.

"Actually, Severus, I believe I've figured that out. You see, since it'd be better if we kept Mr. Uzumaki quiet for a few days, I thought he should room with you, since you are the only other person besides myself and Poppy that knows about him."

Sometimes Severus really hated being right. He closed his eyes as if in pain and grit out the words, "Albus. Are you suggesting I take this hideously ignorant, pathetic excuse for a living organism into my household for a full three days and let it breathe sleep, and, Merlin forbid, eat in my presence?"

Albus looked inordinately amused. "Why, yes, Severus," he said pleasantly, The Look™ still on in full force. Severus felt fury rushing through his veins, but his dangerously acidic answer to Albus' preposterous idea was interrupted by the discussed blond idiot.

"Excuse me but what the hell have I ever done to you, teme?" he spat out, blue eyes flashing. He turned to Albus. "I don't want to spend time with a grouchy, bitter old man who's so nasty he can't help but insult any innocent person wandering by!" he cried. "I'll sleep in a corner or on the floor, but I won't stay with him!"

Severus sputtered in shock and outrage, but Albus' eyes were still twinkling. "Naruto," he said warmly. "Unfortunately, the only housing that is available to you is Professor Snape's quarters. Hogwarts is very safe from outside invaders, but its own chaos might cause you some distress. For instance, we have many trick staircases – that move, by the way – a small population of rats, and of course we can't forget the ghosts—"

"Ghosts?" Uzumaki said, paling by a couple degrees. Severus smirked at the panicked look on the brat's face. "As in . . . ghosts?!"

Albus nodded. "Why, yes," he said, looking a bit perplexed at the reaction. Uzumaki immediately let out a wail and buried his face in his covers.

"But, but—Neji told me they weren't reeeeeal!" he cried. Severus snorted in disgust, causing Uzumaki to look up at him with huge, watering eyes. Severus shifted uncomfortably under the gaze; he may be a cruel, acidic man, but even he wasn't immune to the dread Puppy-Dog Eyes™. There were some things no man could resist.

"You!" Uzumaki said, flinging a finger in Severus' direction. "I dislike you very much, but even you're better than ghosts! Not that that's saying much," he muttered under his breath. Severus growled at him, but Albus intervened.

"Good, good!" he said, clapping his hands together. "Now that that's settled, we can proceed. Mr. Uzumaki I will attempt to find one of your kinsmen so we can work on getting you home. In the meantime, you will stay with Professor Snape until we can present you to the school." Albus rubbed his hands together, The Look™ glinting in his eyes. "Now, shall we head down to Severus' quarters?"

Uzumaki grumbled under his breath, but slid out from the bed to stand at Albus' side. Severus smirked when he saw that Uzumaki was a good head shorter than Albus, who was shorter than Severus' by a few inches. It was amusing to see how short and slight the boy looked, even against the elderly wizard.

"Come, come, follow me," Albus said merrily, leading Uzumaki and Severus out of the Hospital Wing and to a flight of stairs. "Naruto, I'm sure you'll enjoy your time here," Albus told the blond. "You can't be seen of course; the gossip mill at Hogwarts is particularly good at finding out things that professors would rather keep hidden, so it's better if you don't leave Severus' quarters except late at night until we figure things out. I will be sure to find some books on magic for you; after all, there is no guarantee we will be able to find a kinsman of yours and you'd better be prepared in case we have to introduce you to the school."

Uzumaki seemed to only be paying half of his attention to Albus' speech; he seemed fixated by the portraits and delighted by the moving staircase. Severus sneered at the childish delight; surely the boy was more mature than to be so entertained by a few tricks?

"Now, here we are!" Albus announced as they stopped in front of a portrait of Salazar Slytherin, the entrance to Severus' rooms. Severus had always found them particularly un-Slytherin; if he was looking for the entrance to the Head of Slytherin's rooms, behind a portrait of the Founder himself would be the first place he'd look. But he supposed some Headmasters just didn't have very much imagination.

"Oh?" Salazar said, peering down with interest at Uzumaki. "Who is this?"

Uzumaki eyed him up. "Uzumaki Naruto," he answered promptly. "And who are you?"

"Salazar Slytherin. You don't look very Japanese, Uzumaki-san."

Uzumaki's expression lit up. "You know Japanese?" he asked hopefully. Salazar gave a wry smile.

"Only very little of it. I had the experience of traveling there when I was alive, and the language always fascinated me. Perhaps I could interest you in teaching it to me?"

Uzumaki looked like he was about to agree right away, but then stopped himself short and looked at Salazar closely. "What will you do for me in return?" he asked, surprising Severus with the Slytherin attitude. He hadn't thought the blond had an ounce of cunning in his body. Even more shocking was the laugh that Salazar gave off.

"I could teach you about magic, or I could teach your Parseltonuge," Salazar said easily. Albus and Severus exchanged startled looks; they hadn't been aware that Parseltonuge could be learned, let alone that Salazar would deign to teach it to someone outside of his bloodline.

Salazar must have seen their skeptical looks, for he chuckled quietly and said, "Come now, gentlemen, you've both know me long enough to know all that rubbish Rowena said about me is false?"

"Rowena?" Uzumaki asked in interest.

"A colleague of mine. She believed herself to be in love with me, once upon a time, and didn't handle rejection well. I'm afraid she spread some dreadfully horrible rumors about me and got me thrown out of Hogwarts."

"Well you did have your chamber, Salazar, and your Basilisk . . . ." Albus said cautiously.

Salazar smiled wistfully. "Yes, Noki. Such a wonderful creature, she was. But that business with the Chamber was all a misunderstanding, Albus, as you well know. I built the place as an escape, not a torture chamber, and as a home for Noki after I'd rescued her, because it was the only place I could bring her. It was only because of Tom Riddle that the place was considered dangerous. Although, I must say I am thankful to that Potter child. If it weren't for him, Noki would still be under Riddle's control. I'd much rather have her dead than listening to his commands."

Uzumaki was looking more and more curious, but Severus had had quite enough of standing at his doorstep and discussing such things.

"Well, now that that nonsense is cleared up," he snarked, bringing Salazar's attention to him. "Belladonna," he told the portrait.

Salazar smirked. "Come back and tell me what you'd like to learn," he told Uzumaki, and then swung open. Severus strode forward and opened the door that was behind Salazar's portrait; unlike the ridiculous Gryffindor entrance, Salazar's painting reached the floor and didn't have a "portrait hole". The door that the painting covered was keyed in to Severus' magical signature, adding another layer of protection besides the portrait password.

Severus strode forward into his rooms and waited for Albus and Uzumaki to follow him before closing the door firmly behind them all. When he turned, he was disconcerted to find Uzumaki standing in front of him, staring up at him with curiously thoughtful blue eyes.

"Do you study plants?" he asked. Severus sneered down at him.

"I am a Potions Master, Mr. Uzumaki," he told the blond. "Wherever did you get the idea that I diddle about with dirt all day?"

"Well . . . I was just wondering why you would have Belladonna as your password."

"I don't know whether to more amazed that you are aware of what Belladonna is or that you figured out that it was a password," Severus told him, a little startled that the blond had any inkling of the plant's properties. Uzumaki gave a smile that seemed to have a weary edge to it.

"Belladonna Nightshade makes several poisons, Professor," he said. Severus blinked. It was difficult to remember that the small blond was even remotely dangerous. Neither Albus nor Uzumaki had deigned to explain what exactly a shinobi was. Severus wondered what kind of job would require teenagers to know how to make poisons.

Uzumaki started to explore the rooms, taking in the comfortable furniture that Severus had instated during his first year of teaching and the soot-covered fireplace that they surrounded. Severus was unsurprised to find a new door in his quarters; if he'd learned anything from his teaching job at Hogwarts besides the fact that young people were dunderheads, it was that Hogwarts knew all. The castle had likely summoned up the room as soon as Uzumaki had arrived.

"Through there," Severus gestured to the farthest room to the right, "is my Potions Lab. Under no circumstances will you ever enter that room without my permission, is that understood?" Uzumaki looked mutinous, but agreed. "Next to it is my bedroom; same rules apply. Your room is over there," he pointed to the new door. Uzumaki looked surprised by this knowledge. "This is, obviously, the living room, and over there is the dining area, which is connected to the kitchen. Any questions, or do I have to go over it again more slowly and using smaller words?"

"No questions," Uzumaki muttered, eyeing Severus angrily. "Unless you count why I'm always stuck with the arrogant jack-asses."

"Perhaps Fate just does not like you, Mr. Uzumaki," Severus mocked. "As it is, you will never call me by that name again."

Uzumaki raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And you'll do what? Crush me under your vocabulary?"

Severus growled. If only the boy was a student! Then he could take House Points. But Uzumaki was right; he really couldn't do anything. Albus would have his hide if he used magic on the boy, and Severus never felt right taking food away from a child.

Uzumaki smiled. "Don't worry, Snape, I'll keep the name-calling to a minimum," he said. "At least to your face," he added in a mutter, but Severus pretended that he hadn't heard him.

"I'm sure you two will get along just fine," Albus cut in, his eyes twinkling. Severus glared at him. 'Damn old coot,' he grumbled inwardly. "Now, I'll leave you to settle in, Naruto. Perhaps tomorrow you can go shopping for some clothes . . . tonight; perhaps you can borrow something of Severus'? I'm afraid only the Three Broomsticks is open on Halloween night."

"Oh, yeah, it's Halloween," Uzumaki said with some surprise. "You don't need to worry, though, I've got clothes." He pulled out several scrolls from the pouch he wore at his thigh; they were tightly rolled, but somewhat thick. He opened the first one, revealing a semi-complicated design imprinted on the paper. Uzumaki bit his thumb hard enough for it to bleed and spread the blood over the paper with a practiced motion. A small poof echoed in the room and on the paper there were several changes of clothes.

"I was on an away mission when I caught up to that enemy shinobi, you see," Uzumaki explained to an intrigued looking Albus. "I had all my supplies on me, of course. I assume you have something to wash clothes with? If you do, than I'll be good while I'm here."

"Ah, very well then. However, I think it would be in your best interest to procure some wizarding robes as well to . . . fit in, shall we say?" Uzumaki seemed to pout at this, but nodded.

"Fine," he said. "So, you'll let me know if you get into contact with anyone? Or when I'm allowed to leave this room during the daytime hours?"

Albus smiled. "Of course, Mr. Uzumaki. Now, I'll leave you both be. I'll see you at the Feast, Severus."

Severus scowled at the mention of it, but he knew better by now than to protest. Albus' eyes twinkled as if he knew exactly what Severus was thinking, and then he swept out of the room, leaving Severus alone with the blond brat. Severus stared down at the brat.

"So, this is my room, right?" Uzumaki said, moving towards the new door. Severus nodded. "I'll set up my stuff in here." He disappeared into the room.

Severus sighed and collapsed on his couch. He was going to hate the next few weeks. There was a reason he'd never married or had children; he wasn't made for living with people. He was solitary by nature and choice, and having someone else under his roof would only serve to annoy him to no end. Especially if it was an obnoxious idiot like Uzumaki. God only knew how much trouble his new roommate would get into. Severus groaned at the thought of it. 'God must hate me,' he thought morosely.

Naruto was really amazed by magic.

The portraits and moving staircases had been one thing, but this room was amazing. He'd never lived in such good conditions; his apartment had been crappy thanks to insufficient funds and little time spent there. Naruto admitted only to himself that some small part of why he became a shinobi was because it was the only job a 12-year-old could get easily enough. He'd been lucky too; if he'd really failed that final time, he probably would've lost his apartment and been living on the streets. The funds Sandaime had given him hadn't been enough to cover everything.

The room he was in now, however, was nothing like his old apartment. It was wide and spacious (Naruto thought his entire home could've fit into it) with a high ceiling. Naruto was glad for that; he liked a lot of space. The room was dominated by a large bed, which was covered with a thick duvet and topped by the fluffiest looking pillows Naruto had ever seen. A desk and bookcase sat side by side on a wall, and the wall opposite had a door to a closet. Next to that was a small bathroom.

However, the most important thing was the color scheme and the reason that Naruto now loved magic. He didn't think that the dour man outside would ever consider coloring one of his rooms orange and white, which only meant that someone had personally designed it for him, and that they knew his favorite color was orange. How cool was that?

Naruto immediately felt more at ease in the room, which had a bright, open feel to it thanks to the colors. The only thing he could wish for were some windows. But, since they were in the dungeons, he doubted that there would be much to see anyhow. Unless magic could conjure up a fake view. Naruto smiled at the thought while he laid out his three scrolls on the bedspread.

He was glad now for the three year long trip that he'd taken with Jiraiya. They'd always been on the move back then, so Jiraiya had taught him seals for containing a large number of objects in a scroll. It was an incredibly useful seal, and it had let them move fast and efficiently. After that trip, Naruto always used it on his gear. Now he was extremely glad for it, because otherwise he might have been stuck in this strange world without anything.

He bit his thumb in a move that had become so familiar ever since his first summoning and spread the blood over the three seals. The first scroll procured the clothes that he'd shown Dumbledore earlier. He was glad that the old man hadn't asked about the other two scrolls.

In the second one, he'd stored all of his weapons; an extra katana, just in case his main one got broken, several cases of custom-made kunai and shuriken, Wakizashi, several sai and even a few packages of senbon. He'd also stored his stash of poisons and various other concoctions that he'd bought in Konoha, made by experts. He was sure that if Dumbledore had seen that, he would have been thrown out of the school for sure.

The last scroll had more scrolls inside of it; scrolls of ninjutsu, scrolls of taijutsu techniques, scrolls of sealing techniques and more. Naruto had also stashed the notes on the ninjutsus he was trying to create and his notes on the Kyuubi seal. Naruto was the most protective of this scroll; it had secrets that couldn't be leaked out. It was a risk even carrying it on his person, but he never dared to leave it behind when he was on a mission. Now he supposed he should be glad of that precaution.

Naruto sighed and re-locked the scroll seal. It would be better if he kept that hidden away; the wizards didn't seem to be all that well-versed in chakra, so he doubted it would be of any use to them, but he knew that there were shinobi on missions on the Outside, so he couldn't be too careful. A careless shinobi was a dead shinobi.

Naruto took his clothes and hung them up in the closet, a blond eyebrow raising when he saw how much space he had. The clothes he had didn't even make a dent. Absently he wondered if he would be allowed to go to the "Feast" that Dumbledore had mentioned. He was already starving; the nutrition bars that he had stored in his pack paled in comparison to real food. But Dumbledore had asked him to stay out of sight, which probably meant that he couldn't attend. He'd have to ask Snape how he would eat dinner.

Naruto left his room tidy, scrolls put away in a drawer with an extra seal placed on them just in case. He'd been relieved when he found that his chakra was unaffected from the jutsu his enemy had used and the magical environment; he'd never been around magic before, so he hadn't known if it would weaken him at all. His chakra, however, seemed as strong as ever, so Naruto decided not to worry about it.

He strode out of the room to find Snape sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. Naruto slowed, wondering what the Professor was distressed about. He felt a pang of sympathy; Naruto had always been too empathetic for his own good, or so Sakura had told him time and time again when he decided to turn the enemies to the good side rather than kill them. Something about Snape's posture spoke of weariness, and Naruto felt his heart go out to the man against his will.

Naruto quietly made his way back to his room and then slammed open the door, making sure to make as much noise as possible. When he made his way into the living room, Snape was leaning back on the couch, sneering, looking as if he'd been in that position the entire time. Naruto smiled inwardly; Snape acted very much like a certain Uchiha he'd known, even if he had no blood relation to him. They acted all tough and hard on the outside, but really they were just big softies on the inside. Most of the time, they were just lonely. That was how it had been with all the cold, stoic people Naruto had gotten to know and befriend; Neji, Gaara, Sai . . . Sasuke.

"I was just wondering when and where I could have dinner, Snape," Naruto said. Snape's sneer deepened. Naruto secretly named the look, 'You are lower than dirt, but I will try to speak with you in the hopeless case that it might raise your intelligence and place in life.' It was long, but it worked.

"Twinky!" Snape called and Naruto jumped when a soft pop echoed in the room and one of the strangest looking creatures he'd ever seen stood before Snape, wearing what looked like a pillowcase.

"What cans Twinky be doing for Master Snape?" the creature muttered, long fingers twisting in its pillowcase clothes.

"Prepare dinner for Mr. Uzumaki," Snape ordered with a snap. "I won't need any tonight; I'll be eating in the Great Hall," Snape's mood seemed to sour more (if that could be possible) at that thought.

"What would Master Uzumaki like for dinner?" Twinky looked over at Naruto with large green eyes.

"Uhm . . . ." Naruto was still shocked by the creature's appearance, but Snape's snort of disgust at his inability to talk drew him out of his surprised state. "You wouldn't happen to know how to make ramen, would you?" he asked feebly. Twinky's ears moved up alertly.

"Oh yes! Twinky was once be serving an Asian mistress, Master Uzumaki, and she's be teaching Twinky all manners of strange foods," Twinky seemed very happy at learning such things. "What kinds would Master Uzumaki be liking?"

"Miso, Pork and Chicken; five of each, if you can manage it," Naruto said, a little guiltily. He ignored Snape's stare. "Thanks . . . Twinky was it?"

Twinky's eyes filled with tears. "Oh! Master Uzumaki is being so kind to Twinky! Master Uzumaki is such a good wizard!" She disappeared with a pop and a sniff, leaving Naruto to blink after her in bemusement.

"Fifteen servings of this dish you call ramen, Mr. Uzumaki?" Snape's voice drew him away from his puzzled state. "Wherever do you put it all?"

Naruto grinned at him. "I have a high metabolism, Professor," he said cheerfully. "Plus, ramen isn't very fulfilling. It goes straight through the system." Snape looked a little surprised at his happy response; Naruto withheld a smirk.

He'd decided that he would do whatever it took to befriend one Severus Snape. The professor wouldn't have any idea what hit him.

Author's Note: Okay, I know it's a little strange (more like a lot). But this idea would not let go of my brain. It was like a brain sucking plot bunny! –shudders- And this pairing might be my new crack. I dunno yet. But so far I'm having fun writing this, so I won't be stopping, even if people scream at me in disgust for my odd taste. (What can I say . . . not everyone can have genius brains like me. XD Kidding.) Anyways! Please leave a review and let me know what you think.