A/NHello, all! This one-shot was randomly inspired by a bumper sticker on facebook. I don't know how/why, but it made me think of James and Lily. I'm not sure if I like how it turned out or not, but... I don't know.

Here's what the sticker said: "And, sometimes, you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic, but, then, I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you."

Hope you enjoy the story!


Traffic

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?"

"Bollocks." A blonde girl swore.

"STAY OUT OF THIS, MARY! AND WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? I'M NOT THE ONE WHO JUST GOT A DETENTION, EVANS. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST GOT IN TROUBLE!"

"I had really hoped they were past this stage." The blonde girl's boyfriend shook his head mournfully.

"DON'T YOU YELL AT HER! SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND! AND YOU KEEP YOUR BLASTED NOSE OUT OF THIS, BLACK!"

"HYPOCRITE! YOU YELL AT ME FOR YELLING AT YOUR BEST FRIEND AND THEN TURN RIGHT AROUND AND BITE OFF MY BEST MATE'S HEAD! WH-"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!?" The small red-headed girl and tall black haired boy both froze and turned towards the origin of the new voice.

"Thanks for that, Moons, but not in my ear next time, all right?"

"Sorry, Padfoot. It was the only way to get those two to shut it though."

"I understand. Uh, Mary?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you on the floor rather than the couch?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but Lily cut her off. "It's James's fault!"

"How is it my fault, Evans?! I didn't even touch her!"

"BECAUSE-"

"Here we go again." Sighed Remus, plopping down on the couch next to Sirius.

From her seat on the floor, Mary slowly and deliberately began banging her head on the table.

"What are you two even fighting about?" Sirius snapped loud enough to be heard over their arguing.

They both started talking at once and it quickly escalated to another screaming match.

"Oh, what now?"

"Hey, Liz."

"Sirius." The third girl, also a red-head, took a seat next to Remus. "What are they on about this time?"

Remus grinned. "We just asked before they started going at it again. I think this particular spat is about how they started talking at the same time."

"Ah…that makes no sense."

"Do they ever make sense?" Lupin asked while taking her hand in his.

She smiled. "I suppose not. Um…? Mary?" Lizzy asked, a confused look coming over her face. "What the hell are you doing?"

Smack. "Banging." Smack. "My." Smack. "Head." Smack. "On." Smack. "The." Smack. "Table." Smack.

"Why?"

Smack. "Well." Smack.

"Would you stop?" Asked Sirius while picking her up off the floor. "Now, why were you doing that?"

"It helps drown out their constant yelling."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Sirius eyed the table thoughtfully.

Remus cut him off. "Padfoot, no. Just, no."

Lizzy shook her head. "This is ridiculous."

"AND, POTTER, SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME SO MAD, I JUST WANA THROW YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF ON-COMING TRAFFIC!"

Everyone in the room froze.

"Well, shit." Whispered Mary.

Lizzy stood up. "All right, Lily. I think you've said enough for one day. Come on. Dorm time." She said while grabbing the other girl's arm. Mary, Remus, and Sirius all quickly stood up too. Mary went over by Lizzy and Lily while Remus and Sirius went to stand by James. Potter still hadn't moved and whispers were already filling the common room.

Mary and Lizzy began to pull Lily away when James finally spoke. "Do you really mean that?"

Lily turned around to face him. "Yes." Potter's face fell and he turned to walk away. "But, then, I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you." His face lit up and he moved closer to her. A lot closer.

Their four friends backed away. "That's disgusting." Stated Lizzy.

"The first years will never be the same." Added Remus.

"Screw the first years. I'll never be the same." Said Sirius with a slightly sickened look on his face.

"They have got to be the most bi-polar, dysfunctional couple ever." Mary shook her head. "Only they could go from screaming to snogging in less than two seconds flat."

Sirius smiled impishly. "Depends on the kind of screa-"

SMACK!


A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please review!!!!!!!

~EOshipper2010