Journal Entry 31

Can't find Asuma at all. Where is he? I keep asking around. I went to Kurenai. She dosen't know either. I pleaded with her to leave the village. I told her to stay far, far away. I didn't have time to let her read this. ANBU coming down my neck. She didn't move, no matter how much I yelled at her. Why am I yelling so much? This isn't like me. She thinks something's wrong with me now. Worried about me. I'm not the one she needs to be worried about. I run away. Her worry might make her tell ANBU where I am. Can't be trusted. Who can? Who can be trusted?

ANBU still breathing down my neck. I see one at every turn and run for my life. No matter where I look! They're everywhere! I go to my parents home, empty, no one there still. Have ANBU gotten my parents too? Nothing is too suspicous, too outrageous. They may have imprisoned them, sent them away, whatever they're doing. Rei coming there may have been a trap, to make me fully reveal my suspicions.

I can't continue investigating now, I have to run, run away from it all. Running is what I did next when one ANBU saw me and started chasing me. I ran all over the village, that one ANBU never far behind me. I took out a kunai and threw it at him. Enough to slow him down as I picked up speed. Saw more watching me as I ran away, ready to pounce. I have no choice, have to escape.

I run from the village and find a cave. How ironic. They'll come to look for me eventually. I can hear foot steps sometimes and I think it's them.

Journal Entry 32

Only an hour's sleep. Dream of running from ANBU. I keep watch all day. I find an animal and kill it to eat. I've done it on missions before, nothing new.

I read over my journal. All the theories don't matter, only one truth matters anymore:ANBU are taking over Konoha. I don't know why they make the stones act this way. Theory, they haven't perfected it yet. They still need to work on it. Tsunade may possibly be in on it. She's ignored too much.

Every hour I see another shadow. I don't know what's happening. My parents are almost certainly gone. Chouji's family. It's obvious now why they're coming after the konoha 11, we're the most prominent ninja. They want all possible opposition out of the way. Very clear now.

Journal Entry 33

It's been two days. No sleep. Very hungry. I keep my kunai clutched for dear life. Sometimes I begin to fall asleep but then wake up. Visions include clouds some times. Most times it's seeing ANBU staring at me, or the captured ninja being tortured. I wish i knew what was being done to them, or even if they're still alive. Plenty of theories but none of them matter. Theories are bull shit now.

Shikamaru Nara, age 15, prodigy. First to become chuunin, 210 IQ. Can outsmart almost anyone. That's what they say. That's in a world based in logic. Based in what I know. I can't even follow reality anymore. I can't think 200 steps ahead of darkness, of enemies I barely know. They're ahead of me.

They're going to come for me. This journal is all I have. No, this journal is worthless now. As am I. They'll never allow it to see the light of day. They're going to find me. I won't let them do anything to me. They can't have me. Whatever's being done to the others, it won't happen to me. This time, I'm taking the step ahead of them. They won't take me away.

They won't take me away.


Journal Entry 1

I woke up in the hospital last night. Attempted suicide. What's going on? I remember now, I attempted it. I attempted it before they could get me. Doctors told me they found me just barely alive. I feel numb at the moment, unsure of what's going on. I got this parchment from the hospital.

My parents visit me. I don't talk long. They won't have the information I need. Asuma visits this morning. I ask him what's going on with the murders. He told me there were no murders. ANBU, they weren't doing anything special. Ino, Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, nothing happened to them.

What was the hell I went through? A dream? No, too real.

Journal Entry 2

I go around visiting. They're all there. Like nothing happened. Sakura and Hinata still have the bandages from their suicide attempts. I ask about it, they give me a weird look and don't even acknowledge it. ANBU aren't bothering anyone anymore. What happened?

Possible theories:

Stones were used to make everyone forget what happened. Would mean stones were perfected.

Stone only affected me, and all this was hallucination caused by the stone I found.

Kakashi and Asuma took care of everything and want the incident buried. Seems least likely. Other two, even chance.

I'll continue looking into it, but for all intents and purposes, it all seems to be over. I ask for my journal but no one seems to know anything about a journal. Asuma says he can only vaguely recall me ever having a journal. Supports all three theories. No help. I spend all day asking and pleading for my journal, from the hospital to Tsunade to ANBU. No one knows of it or has seen it. Even dig through garbage. Nowhere to be found.

Why am I the only one who remembers? Chouji came back. Him, Ino and Asuma are really worried about me. So am I. I need some therapy don't I? Did I really leave my sanity in the journal? Maybe it wasn't real after all. Maybe it was. Nothing I can do now. Should continue investigation, though very tempted to simply give it up. How can i even figure out what theory is right and what reality is set in motion?

What is reality anymore?