We hate the Internet

The world of One Piece and the real world collide as Zoro and Sanji discover the internet... and all the fan yoais of them. Outraged, the two unlikely team up to stop the yoais at the source: The ZoroxSanji fan club headquarters. NO romance. AT ALL.

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In 1999 the anime One Piece aired and is still one of the biggest ongoing anime to date. Zoro and Sanji are actors in this anime, as well as the other cast. With their popularity so high, many fan sites are posted, some fan fictions, forums, and what ifs, some........ a little more graphic. This is the story of how Zoro and Sanji stand up to the ZoroxSanji Yaoi porn sites.

Chapter 1: The internet is a bitch.

"Hey Sanji, where's Nami?" Zoro walked through the door of Sanji and Nami's apartment looking around. Sanji was cooking something in the kitchen. "She's in our room getting dressed, she and the girls are going out tonight." Zoro sighed, "Yeah well Luffy and Usopp canceled, Robin and Kaiya made them take them out on a double date. So they're not coming to watch the game." Sanji looked at him, "You mean.... just me and you?" Zoro sighed, "Yeah..." Sanji rolled his eyes, "Damn it!" Sanji and Zoro were friends, but they fought a lot. And without others around to hold them back their fights were worse and they usually broke something important. Nami came out of her and Sanji's bedroom "Well I'm gone, you boys have fun." when she realized it was only Zoro and Sanji she said this to, she burst out laughing, "Hahahahaha!" Zoro and Sanji looked at her in confusion. "What are you laughing at hun?" Sanji asked. Nami tried her hardest to stop laughing. "N-nothing, just something Robin showed me the other day on the internet, haha, reminds me of you two, hahahaha!" With that Nami kissed Sanji on the cheek, laughed a little more as she passed Zoro, and left for her night out.

Sanji and Zoro were still staring at the door she left out of, "What........... was THAT!?" Zoro looked at Sanji. "I............. don't know. What did she say...... something about Robin showing her something on the internet...." "What do you think it is....." Sanji looked to their room were Nami kept her computer. "I don't know,...... but I say we find out." Zoro nodded in agreement.

They went into Nami and Sanji's room. Sanji turned on Nami's computer the password box popped up and Sanji typed in the password. "What's the password," Zoro asked. " 'Sanji' of course." the box popped back up with 'Error: wrong password' "Well, looks like she changed it." Zoro smirked. Sanji became depressed, "But, but, but, but, but, but why did she change it!? That was my name! How could she do this to me!?!?" Zoro chuckled, "She probably changed it knowing you'd do this sort of thing." "But what did she change it with?!" "Maybe Zoro." Sanji punched him in the shoulder. "Haha. Chill out man." "But what is it?" "One Piece?" Sanji typed it in..... 'Error' "Nami?"..... 'Error'. They thought for a moment, then they both said it at the same time. "Money." Sanji typed it in, it went though. "Ok, we go to the internet.... go to history and see what she's seen..." Sanji and Zoro scanned the internet history for anything suspicious. "Hmmmm...... .... that could be it." Zoro agreed, Sanji clicked on it. What they saw scared the living shit out of them. "Oh. My. GOD!" Zoro almost threw up. Sanji nearly fainted.

It was a ZoroxSanji yaoi porn sight. Hundreds of pictures, all of Zoro and Sanji fucking each other in different positions. "DUDE! THIS IS SO FUCKING WRONG!!!" Zoro was going ballistic. Sanji just sat there, mouth open in pure shock, awe, and completely disturbed, he was practically twitching in disgust. "Why................... does Nami-swan................ h-have this on HER COMPUTER!?!?! AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!" It all hit Sanji and Zoro now, they were so disturbed they didn't know what to do. "Why does this shit exists in this world???" Zoro sounded like he was crying now. Sanji came to a certain realization. "Holly shit!" "What?!" Zoro was terrified to know. "Dude! Those female interns on the set of the show! They always giggle when we walk by, and we don't know why, you don't think...." Zoro knew what he was talking about. "OH MY GOD!!!" he buried his face in his hands. Sanji became lifeless again. "Why didn't we think this shit was out there?" Zoro became outraged now. "WHO THE FUCK PUTS THIS SHIT ON HERE!?!?!? I'LL KILL THEM ALLLLL!!!!!!!" "Fangirls dude."


"Fangirls. You know it's gotta be them. You've read those creepy fan letters they send to us."

Zoro agreed, "Yeah, I still remember the one that one girl sent to Luffy about what she would do to him since his penis could probably stretch cause of the gum-gum powers."

Sanji remembered that one too. They shuttered at the memory. "But what can we do man!? There are THOUSANDS of fangirls that probably post this shit! Maybe MILLONS!"

"Simple. I'll just go door to door of every fangirl in the world and beat the hell out of them until they stop."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Yeah, let's go all CHRIS BROWN on some fangirls. That'll help."


Sanji agreed, "Look, every site has a sponsor. So we just find this site's sponsor and trace down all the SICKO sites like this."

Sanji processed though the internet. Zoro looked in awe, "How do you know how to do this?" "Usopp showed me, you know he kicks ass with computers. Plus he taught me how to make sites like this. I make SakuraxIno yuri sites."

Zoro's eyes widened, "Those OBVIOUS lesbians from Naruto!?"


"Dude.... you're sick."


"But you're dating NAMI."

"She don't know. And what she don't know, WON'T hurt ME."

"....... You're an asshole."

They tracked down the parent/sponsor site.

"!!!! The most unlikely of lovers come together!?!?!??! What the hell???!!!"

Zoro and Sanji looked at the little box at the bottom of the window marked 'Sponsored sites'. "230!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?"

Zoro almost threw up again. Sanji almost fainted again.


Sanji noticed something else on the site, "Oh my fuck."


"They have......... videos."


"I don't know man, *sniff* but I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *sniff*" Sanji WAS crying. Zoro slapped Sanji. "Get a hold of yourself man! Why HAVE to stop this! You. Me. Team up and kick ass. Go to the source and take it out. Then the sites all crumble. No more Zoro/Sanj gay shit." Zoro looked at Sanji seriously. "Right." Sanji turned back to the computer and started looking for something. "There!" he pointed, "They're based out of Ohio!" Zoro looked blood thirsty and scary looking. "Let's go. TONIGHT. And END this." Sanji nodded, he lit a cigarette. "To the airport motherfucker. We got porn sites to kill off." They walked out in a cool, slow way, heading of to battle, not knowing if they would return.


Overhead voice: "Fights 110, 206, and flight 820 have been canceled. Flights-" Zoro and Sanji sat in the waiting room. "How much longer." "Our flight has been delayed.... for 3 hours." They were both depressed.

Sanji thought of something, "Damn."


"That's 3 more hours of those sites being up."

Zoro had a look of fear on his face, "Fuck."

To be continued...

Next chapter: Zoro and Sanji come face to face with the building that's ruining their lives.