AN: Inspired by a true story! XD Obama's trip to Ray's Hell-Burger was a big story – you can google it.

I kind of have an impulse to write a full Hellboy comic-verse story set in Washington, D.C., but I'm low on inspiration right now. I bet it would turn out just as good or better than that lame comic where Spiderman saves Obama from some sort of evil doppelganger-Obama, and that actually got published.

* * * * *

President Obama kept a smile fixed on his face as the horned man sitting across from him continued to ramble.

"See, being defined by only half of who you are, I get you there. Believe me, I get you. And you wrote that book about your father – can't say I read it, been on the road a lot and it'd make me carsick, but good title. I got this father who was never around too. Or maybe he was for the first three hundred years, don't remember, but he didn't arrange play dates or teach me manners or anything, that's for sure…"

Obama halted Hellboy's monologue with a smooth gesture.

"I do appreciate your empathy, Mr. Hellboy. But I believe we're here to talk about national security?"

"Getting to that, Mr. President. But first, I got a question for you. What's a hell-burger? This sounds like something I need to eat."

Obama sighed inwardly. Ask anyone on the street about his plans for health care reform, and you'd get a blank stare, or at best, a bunch of pre-digested opinions. But the whole world knew that he'd treated the Presidential motorcade to lunch at Ray's Hell-Burger. In hindsight, he never should have bought burgers for those reporters.

He turned his smile on high-beams and put on his best Biden-subduing attitude.

"Surely you didn't travel all the way to Washington and seek an audience with the President just to go to a restaurant."

Hellboy didn't blink.

"Why not? I went to Romania and wrassled the Queen of Witches just to get some paprika chicken."