Normally I wouldn't waste time, talking to a journal like this. If someone caught me they would be amazed that I can actually form coherent thoughts without being distracted. that's not really good for my airhead image, but I have no one else to talk to right now. Star and Thunder are both in the medbay right now. It's nothing fatal; the shots only took out Screamer's wing and Thundercracker's thruster. Mirage is amazing, being able to take them both out with one shot like that. I know I shouldn't be praising an Autobot, especially not one who had injured both his mates, but Mirage is different. I should be upset, but that shot shows that our little Raj can take care of himself. Yeah, ours.
It hurts so much that we can't tell him. It hurts to see him look at us with hatred in his optics. I want so much to able to run to him, wrap him up and tell him who we really are. How sorry we are that we had to give him up. We had just wanted to give him a better life. We only partially succeeded. At least he didn't end up as a con.
Starscream, Thundercracker and I were young when we bonded for the first time. We had never expected that I would end up carrying. The three of us had been so happy. We had created a life, a life that I nursed close to my spark. But then Thundercracker and I lost our jobs working as bouncers, and we had to rely solely on Star for support. He had just begun his career as a scientist. Heck, he hadn't even met Skyfire at that point. That's how new he was. The Science Academy had hated that a Seeker - or a common war monger as I heard him called in my one visit there - had been accepted. They would have taken the fact that his mate was pregnant at such a young age as a mark against him and would have used it to ruin his reputation. Had he been more experienced, or made a name for himself, it wouldn't have mattered. But he hadn't and if those pompous bastards had gotten wind of our predicament he would have been drummed out of the science community.
Joy turned to fear. How would we support our sparkling? We wanted to give him the world but we were barely able to support ourselves. We were terrified that our baby would be born into poverty. We only wanted what was best for him and considered giving him up for adoption. But the Golden Era had already begun its decline and more often than not sparklings like ours ended up in orphanages. We didn't want that.
The answer to our prayers came in the form of Diamond Dagger, a femme from the Academy and a friend of Starscream's. Star had overheard he confess to another femme that she and her mate could not have a sparkling. They were terrified to tell their parents. Towers' nobles were expected to reproduce and to be barren was considered a taboo. Star confronted her, and we came to an agreement. She and Ice Blade would raise Mirage, but we were allowed to visit whenever we wished. He would even know that we were his creators when he was old enough. We were ecstatic.
Eventually Thundercracker and I found jobs working at the Military Academy as Aerial Instructors, and Starscream partnered up with Skyfire (who thought Mirage was adorable). In fact, it was Skyfire who had helped us design a groundling frame for our little mech (we hated that, but neither Diamond Dagger nor Ice Blade were fliers, and it would have been weird if he had been born as a Seeker). Sadly, when he and Star set out on their intergalactic expedition Sky was lost, and Starscream almost broke. He joined us at the Military academy, taking on a position as an Aerial Combat Instructor, eventually taking over the department. He gave up science for this. The last thing he ever made was at Thunder's request. Thundercracker was concerned about the upcoming war and the safety of our millennia old sparkling. He asked Star to make an electro disrupter, so that Mirage would always have a way out.
Vorns after that, long after we had been shipped out and lost touch with Diamond Dagger and her mate, we found out that it had been discovered that DD and Ice Blade were not Raj's creators, and the Towers had cast them out. They died shortly thereafter. Mirage was being raised by some crotchety old mech, Diamond's creator, I think. Thank Primus that Mirage never considered that fool to be his creator. I shudder to think of what he would be like had he done so.
That's the reason we're cons you know. The academy I mentioned? It was an Autobot academy. But Megabastard used the coneheads to raze the Towers, and must have discovered some records or whatever that documented the truth about Mirage's birth. He came to me first, telling me that he knew about my son, and unless my mates and I joined him he would hunt down Mirage, who had joined the Autobots, and kill him. We are here because right now it's safer for Mirage. Starscream constantly draws Megatron's attention, claiming he wants to be leader when he would much rather be in his labs or flying, in order to keep the focus off of our son. I act the fool because it keeps the other cons from prying into our background. TC's "pessimism" makes sure that no one wants to associate with us to closely, fearing that Megatron might grown bored with Starscream and turn his attention to the other mech with traitorous thoughts. My mates don't believe in the cause and make it known, while I pretend otherwise. One day though, Megatron is going to let his guard down. One day Screamer is going to kill him, and good riddance. I just hope that Mirage can forgive us, should he even learn the truth.
Well, I've ranted at this stupid thing long enough, and my mates are calling. Time to put the fool's mask back on and get back to work.
Skywarp warped out of their quarters, eager to be back with his mates. He never noticed the slight shimmer of air nestled quietly in the corner.