A/N: Let's get on with it.
TheGizzYall, vohangilalao, hotpinkink, mackie0203, bellalovesedward1, jaantjj, GreenEyes555, Bright-Eyed Brown, xxwithLOVE, twilight rules xx, harrygirl123, joy! () (thank youuu, i try to make it as original as possible.), sheeni15 (thanks, and MELISSA! 'sheeeenii'!), Squirrelflightlover(who, i think reads my SWAC stories, right? Well, I'm glad that you have decided to broaden your er...what do you call it. Kay i'm too lazy to think of a word right now. Basically, thanks for reading.), and to my anonymous reviewer, heya () (yes, evil is my name...lols, thanks.),
And anyone else who reads but is unknown. Shtaaanks!
Disclaimer: Don't own it; probably never will.
- 11 –
Edward was kissing me. Kissing me. That's just too shocking for me to comprehend. It wasn't even a tiny peck either-like a peck you'd give your grandma. It was a full, mouth-to-mouth, kiss. And it lasted for more than five seconds. Like...eight seconds, maybe. Or nine-maybe ten.
And the strange thing was? I was kissing him back. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him in the first place, or if it was just a reflexive thing-you know, like if someone kisses you, you just have to kiss them back? The point is, I didn't even try to push him off me. If anything, I just tried to bring him closer.
When he finally stopped kissing me-probably because he needed to breathe-Edward pulled back; his eyes wide and surprised. It was like he just couldn't believe what he had done. I knew then that it was an impulse sort of movement. He didn't plan on tackling me down, and then planting his (soft) lips on mine. It was spontaneous. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad. Does that mean that he wasn't thinking about kissing me before this? A thousand thoughts and feelings were rushing inside of me, and I just didn't know how to control them all.
For a while, we just laid there, staring at each other, and not saying anything. Then another piece of pie hit Edward's head, and that sort of jolted him awake. He coughed once, before getting up awkwardly.
"You can go now…if you want." He spoke the words so low; it was amazing I was still able to hear him in the middle of this chaos and mayhem.
"I…" I really didn't know what to do now. I mean, what does a person do when a totally hot jerk who you thought you hate-wait. Reverse that. I know I hate him. I don't just know; I do. I hate him. What's to think about? Well, what am I supposed to do after the person you hate just kissed you? I really didn't have a reason to stay any longer, but I didn't necessarily want to go either. I feel like pushing a pause button on my life to sort out my thoughts for a while before doing anything.
"Sure. Yeah. See you at the cabin." I've never been good with situations like this. Confrontations just aren't my thing. As I walked out of the dining hall, and trudge towards the lodge in the heavy snow, I realized I've always had a habit of running away from my problems whenever it got too much to handle. With my mom, I never actually told her what a bad mother she was. I simply avoided it as best as I can, and now…now…my parents are divorced…because of me.
I shook my head to clear those thoughts and entered the lodge, shrugging off my jacket and heading to my room. I took a few deep, calm breaths to think rational thoughts. But my thoughts were a bit fuzzy, and my head was still swooning from the kiss-er…I mean, the cold. Yes. The cold.
Oh, what is going on with me? I shouldn't be this affected over…the cold…
He's just a guy.
Guys like Edward should never be trusted. He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. I bet he's kissed thousands of girls before, and just like to string people along, and then play with them for a while, and when he's finished with them, he'll discard them. So I shouldn't get caught up with all this…flirting he's been doing lately, the genuine smiles from him, or the kiss. In fact, I should just forget this ever happened and go back to completely hating him. There. That's exactly what I'll do. I'll hate him. I hate him now, and I've hated him before, and now, I always will.
I hate Edward Cullen.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
- OOO -
I can not sleep. It is right now, truly impossible for me to go to sleep. I have been up all night, trying to get at least one hour of sleep, and…nothing. It's not fair. That stupid, stupid kiss just had to keep me awake. And that girl just had to come into my life. My life was fine without her. I don't need her. I hate her now.
I didn't even plan to kiss her. I don't know what's happening. I mean, I know there are all these jumbled up feelings in me, and I know there have been times where maybe, we're getting to be really good friends, but I just can't take it. I hate that girl. Or, at least, that's what I tell myself.
I have to hate her. I can't get close to her, and not hate her.
All these feelings and urges about going over to her room and holding her close in my arms, and stroking her pretty soft hair, and staring into her warm eyes…and those lips…kissing them again. All these thoughts are running through my head in a strong whirlwind, and I feel like punching someone. What is with me these days? I've turned into a softie. A melodramatic softie.
"ARRRGGHH…" I half-yelled, and half-whispered as I got out of bed, needing some distraction. I rummaged under my bed for my slippers, and bumped my head at the top bunk. I silently cursed and then quickly ran out to the hallway. There was a balcony in front of every room, and I breathed in a huge breath of fresh air. Then I proceeded down the hall to try and get my thoughts straight.
There was a clicking sound coming from the girls' wing, and I heard a door open. The sound of soft footsteps got louder with each step, and pretty soon, a figure appeared in front of me. A small, thin figure of a girl in blue pants and t-shirt. Her eyes were open, staring at me, but it didn't seem quite right.
It looked like she was staring past me instead of directly at me. I realized with a jolt that it was Bella. She headed towards the balcony, and just stood there for a while, looking out into the night.
I didn't know if she noticed me or not, but I wasn't going to stick around to find out. I started walking back to the guys' wing, when I heard her let out a small sniffle. I turn back around and see that she has her arms outstretched towards the sky.
Well…this is weird.
Walking cautiously back towards her, I caught a whiff of her scent-a nice smell of vanilla, and whatever shampoo she used in her hair.
I contemplated for a moment whether or not to talk to her. In the end, I decided one little comment wouldn't hurt. I gave her my best bored expression and crossed my arms, leaning against the railing. "What are you doing now?"
She didn't reply to me. At first I thought she was ignoring me, but she still has her hands outstretched as if she was waiting for someone. And then it was like she didn't hear me at all.
"Bella, look. I know what happened today was probably weird. And it was a mistake; really, I didn't even want to do it. It just sort of did and-" I broke off my pointless babble when I realized she was hoisting herself up on top of the railing. My eyes widened. She couldn't be thinking of…
I looked down the balcony to see the ground wasn't that far away, but if she lands on the ground, she could have a major concussion. Her skull could be smacked in half. What is she doing?
"Mom," she whispered, and then she looked down to the ground. And it suddenly dawned on me that she wasn't fully conscious. She was sleepwalking.
"Bella," I started, not wanting to scare her or anything if she woke up. "Wake up, Bella."
Bella ignored me and now was sitting on the edge of the railing, ready to jump. My heart gave a heavy lurch as I realized she was actually going to do it if I don't do anything. The thought of seeing her die with her head split open was agonizing.
"Mom." She said again, and then flung her arms wide open. My eyes widened and I think I give a sort of terrified yelp before reacting quickly and lunging towards her. She was just about to jump off the balcony when I practically grabbed her and tackled her on the ground again.
Bella started squirming in my arms, and she kicked me in the stomach. I pinned her arms to the ground and tried to get her to wake up.
"Let go! Let go! Mom! Mom, help!" She screamed. I covered her mouth with my sleeve, and it was a now a muffled sound.
I leaned down next to her ear, and spoke gently. "Shh…Bella, calm down. It's alright. Shhh. Stop struggling. You're fine. It's me; Edward."
She stopped struggling for a moment, and then started to sniffle again. "Mom." I stroked her hair as I sat her up in a sitting position, and started cradling her small body like I did that night in the woods.
"Go back to sleep, Bella," I crooned, rocking her back and forth like a small child. "Shhh…"
Her eyelids eventually started to close again, and her heavy breathing was replaced with her normal steady breathing. I placed her head on my shoulder, and relaxed a bit. That was the most terrifying experience I've ever encountered in my life.
It wasn't like I was the one who was about to jump off the balcony. It was her. And I hated her. Why was I scared?
Looking at her calm and pretty face right now, I felt this weird odd sensation of calmness rushing through me like a tidalwave. It was like because she was happy, so was I. But I didn't get that feeling at all.
Bella shifted a little and sighed in contentment. Her small hands went up to my chest, and I laced my fingers through hers out of reflex. I took in every feature of her face-her eyes, her nose, her soft pink lips that pouted a bit whenever she let out a breath, her tinted cheeks that always seem to have that rosy pink colour-and I knew.
I knew what all these feelings are.
I knew what that fear was all about.
And you know what? As much as that thought terrified me more than anything, I realized I sort of liked it too. And I'm okay with it.
Because I'm in love with her. I'm in love with Bella.
A/N: Well. About time he knew.
I know I haven't updated in a looooongg time. But I'm reaaallly sooorryy! Look at it this way, school's almost done, and come summer, I'll have more free time. So hopefully, I'll be off hiatus by then. And I know this is crap and you guys don't deserve this, since I put it off for so long, and then when I do update, it's such a short and crappy chapter….but well, sorry. Lol. Okay, it'll be longer the next time.
This is just to tell you, that I'm making effort here to at least update some more and not abandon you guys completely. I'm reeeeally sorry.
Anyways, hope you like it.