A/N: Hello! I'm not much of a writer, well, I'm actually far from being one XD. I just wanted to have fun with some of our favorite characters and hopefully it'll get a few laughs out of you or even make you smile. Anyway, on with the show. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own this kick arse game they call (get ready for my epic voice) Resident EEVVIILL. I own NOTHING in this story. Heck, I don't even own the keyboard I'm typing this on XD.

Chapter 1

Jill couldn't help but to watch as Captain Albert Wesker bent over to retrieve the papers that mysteriously flew off his desk. Did she knock them over while he wasn't looking? It didn't matter. What mattered was that Wesker was bent over almost as if he was ready to take it in the behind. She laughed at the thought still staring at the prize and like all fangirls everywhere, she just wanted to cup that muscular piece of meat in the delicate palm of her hands. Not that meat, his ass to be exact but it wouldn't hurt to think of the other meat.

Turning her head slowly her gaze fell upon Chris Redfield. She had to do a double take. He had a pen to his mouth, eyes about ready to pop out averted to Wekers rear end. If that wasn't enough, Jill could've sworn he was.....drooling?! And was he wriggling his eyebrows too?

"Would you like me to put your eyeballs back into place for you?"

Chris didn't say a word but continued to stare.

"Hello. Earth to Chris! Enjoying the view?"

"Not as much as you Jill. I saw you looking too. I mean, what do you find so alluring about Weskers boney behind?"

Just as Jill was about to speak Barry Burton bursts through the door causing everyone to turn and look at him.

"So sorry I'm late. I, uh, kind of got lost, yeah," was Barrys response to everyone looking at him.

Wesker, who had finally finished picking up the papers, walked over to where Barry stood.

"May I ask, Barry, how you of all people got lost when you've been working here for the past fifty years? Seriously! Come on! You were here before I even started working here. Come up with something better next time and theres a bit of blood beneath your nose," Wesker said while studying Barrys nose and readjusting his glasses so he could get a better view of some crumbs all over Barrys shirt.

"Barry? Do I smell Kripy Kremes?"

"No?" Barry said questionly.

Que flashback colorful swirly sequence....

Barry pulls up to a stop light and is singing Karma Chameleon loud and out of tune. As hes waiting, he gets a whiff of something so intoxicating he literally drifts out of his car following the sweet smell. Closing his eyes he lets the smell guide him through the streets and he suddenly stops due to a figure in a dark blue hooded dress shawl like trenchcoat. The figure lifts his right hand to open his hooded dress like, well you get it.

"Got somethin' that might interest ya, strangah," in a deep merchant like accent.

Barry pushes him aside and drifts off to the sweet aroma again. He drifts right into a glass window causing blood to burst out of his nose. He takes one look at those delicious pieces of sweetness it drove him crazy. Almost to the point of insane. He couldn't hold it in any longer. Letting the monster in him takeover, he bursts through the door yelling like a madman. A madman out of his mind, foaming at the mouth, and roaring like a dinosaur scaring everyone out of the donut shop except the tiny cashier who stared wide eyed at the sight of Barry.

"C,c,can I h,help ?" the cashier asks struggling to speak without stuttering.

Before she could even finish the question, Barry roared like a lion ready to pounce. The cashier, who was now holding a red and white umbrella due to the fact that Barrys saliva was flying everywhere, ran and hid under the counter.


Que flashback to present colorful swirly sequence....

Everyone in the room had one are wrapped around their mid section and the other hand on their mouths about ready to heave. Must be the colors. The Captain's phone rings and he anwers it.

"Captain Wesker speaking. A WHAT?? Uh huh. We're on it." He hangs up the phone and turns to his underlings.

"Looks like we had an incident a few minutes ago at the local Krispy Kremes. Some A-hole who is believed to be dangerous AND might be carrying rabies."

Barry shrunk into his chair as Wesker was relaying the information.

"S.T.A.R.S. Alpha Team! Roll out!" Wesker yelled out as he changed his sunglasses to a more "suiting" pair for this case.

Jill looked over to Barry who hadn't moved an inch since the call.

"Barry, aren't you coming?"

"Uh, I can't, too much, paperwork. Yes, paperwork. See?" pointing at a blank piece of paper.

"Mmmmkay," was the last thing Jill said as she left.

Little did they know who was truly resposible for the little Krisy Kreme Incident.....

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I know it's not all that great but I tried XD. I promise I'll do better next time. I'd like to thank Vincent for everything he's helped me with on this fic, you're the best! Please leave a review of any kind and I'll be sure to return the favor, plus some cookies =D. Thank you again for reading. Until next time!!