"Shane, stop throwing the eggs out the window."

"I can't help it. It's fun."

"I don't care, stop."

"The eggs are so much funner then you."

Splat.

"Shane!"

"What?"

"You're gonna hit someone."

"You think so?"

Splat.

"Damn, I missed."

"Ugh, you are hopeless."

"Why do people keep saying that?"

"Because you are!"

"How rude."

Splat.

"Damn it, Shane. We need those for the cake!"

"What cake?"

"Jason's cake! It's his birthday tomorrow, remember?"

"...."

"You forgot? What do you think we're doing in here?"

"...I thought you wanted to get freaky with the kitchen supplies."

Splat.
Splat.
Splat.

"SHANE!"

"What, Nate, WHAT?"

"Stop!"

"Not until I hit someone."

"Ugh."

"You put the idea in my head."

"Oh, shut up."

Splat.
Splat.
Sp-

"What the hell?"

"Bulls-eye!"

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Yep, I know."

"You are so lucky I bought this many eggs."

"Yup."

Splat.

"I am going to kill you."

"No, you won't. You'd die without me."

"Arrogant bastard."

Kiss.

"Get off me. We need to make the cake."

"It can wait."

Kiss.

"No, it's been waiting for the last 3 days. It can't wait anymore."

"You have no idea how hot that just sounded."

Kiss.
Push.
Groan.

"Shane - get - off - me."

Kiss.

"I don't think so."

Splat.

"Nate!"

"What?"

"You just...my hair!"

"It slipped?"

"You're dead."

"No. No, Shane, you get away from me!"

Smack.

"First you damage my hair with egg gook, and now you're spanking me with a wooden spoon? And as hot as the second part sounds-"

Kiss.

"Nuh-uh, Nate. That's not gonna work this time." Hmph.

"Oh, come on, Shane. You're being a baby."

"Lalala, I can't hear you."

"Now, you're definitely being a baby."

"Lalalala, lalalala, elmo's world.."

"Oh, whatever. I'm making the cake."

Kiss.
Kiss.
Lick.

"You need to make up your mind."

"You need to stop eating the frosting."

Kiss.
Gasp.
Kiss.
Moan.

"Shane. We need to make the cake."

"Mhm.."

"I'm serious!"

"Sure you are."

Kiss.

"Stop it."

"Quit whining, you love it."

"Not right now I don't."

"And now you're lying to yourself? Tsk, tsk."

"That's it."

Kiss.
Shove.
Slam.

"Nate! Let me in!"

"No! I am making this damn cake!"

"Please let me in?"

"Nope."

"If you love me, you'll let me in."

"If you loved me you'd leave me alone."

"...."

"Ha!"

"Oh, shut up."

"Nice to know you love me though. I wouldn't mind hearing it more often."

"What are you talking about?"

"I slave over a hot pencil all day and-"

"And I tell you I love you all day."

"Yeah. Freaking. Right."

"Don't you have a cake to make?"

"I hate you."

"Of course you do."

"I do!"

"I do, too! Great, now we're married. Let me in so we can have the honeymoon, mhm?"

"Leave."

"You want me."

"I want you to leave!"

Gasp. "Well, fine! I can do better anyway!"

"No, you can't."

"Arrogant bastard."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Who, me? Never."

"Why do I put up with this?"

"Cause you love me, duh."

Jingle.
Jingle.

"I'm not letting you in, Shane."

Swish.

"Shane? How did you-"

Kiss.
Shove.

"Hey! This wall is hard."

"Stop being a baby."

"You're raping a baby?"

"Oh, shut up."

Kiss.

"How'd you even get in here?"

"Picked the lock."

Kiss.

"Guys, we're here!"

Shit.

"What are you doing?"

"Uhm..."

Silence.

"BAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up, Caitlyn."

"You're gay! I knew it! I knew it!"

"Oh, come on, Cait. We all knew it."

"Gee, thanks, Jase."

"What? It's true!"

"I can't believe my ex is gay. Wait until mom finds out. She's gonna shit a brick."

"Always the charmer, Mitchie."

"I know."

"What are you guys making?"

"We were supposed to make a cake."

"But Nate here got distracted. I mean, who wouldn't? He's got this sexy piece in front of him."

"WHAT? Oh, you are such an asshole. Get out."

"But-"

"GET OUT."

Slam.

"Nate! Baby, it's cold outside!"

"Go to hell, Shane."

"I love you!"

Swoon.
Swish.
Kiss.

"Aww! It's gay love between two guys!"

"Jase?"

"Yes, Mitchie?"

"You're lucky you're adorable." Sigh.

"Tis the season to be gay, tralalalala, lalalala."

"Shut up, Caitlyn!"

"Nate! Get your boyfriend away from me!"

"Shane, dear. Come here, please."

"Yes?"

"Sit down."

"But-"

"Shane."

"But she-"

"Shane Adam."

"Fine."

"He's whipped!"

"Shut up!"

"You have 5 seconds to sit that ass down, Shane, or so help me-"

"Okay, okay, sorry."

Cough. "Whipped." Cough.

"She's making fun of me!"

"Caitlyn, leave Shane alone."

Snicker. "Alright, I'm good."

Ding.

Fangirl squeal. "The cake's done!"

"That was so- Oh, God. I can't crack gay jokes anymore!"

"Haha. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?"

"Shut up." Eye-roll.

"Where'd Mitchie and Jason go?"

"Back room."

"Eww."

"Makes you feel lonely, don't it?"

"Not really."

"She has Sander, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Eh. He's cute. I guess."

"My best friend just called my boyfriend cute." Gag.

"Shane."

"Yes, love?"

Glare.

"What? What did I do?"

"You're called another guy cute. That's a major effing no no."

"Oh. Well, Nate has them all beat."

"....Really?"

"Really."

Kiss.

"I am never gonna get used to this."

"What did we miss?"

"Mitchie. Bathroom."

"My hair is that bad?"

"Oh yeah."

"If she wasn't dating you, Jase, I'd say they were gay."

"I'd be the only straight one, then. Cool!"

"Oh, jeez."

"..."

"Jinx!"

"I swear to God, if you do the 'you owe me a kiss' thing.."

"Maybe we should of invited Sander over, too."

"You should have."

"Who wants to help frost the cake?"

"ME!"

"Oh, dear."

"Gay sex?"

"Gross!"

"Poor Jason. He has to deal with this on tour."

"That sucks. Royally."

Moan.

"EWWW!"

Shuffle.
Shuffle.
Shuffle.
Slam.

"Guess we're finally alone, huh?"

"And the cakes done!"

"You're adorable."

Blush.
Kiss.

"Do you have to be so irresistible all the time?"

"Maybe."

Kiss.

-- END SCENE! --