Itachi was waiting for Kisame to meet up with him in a small tea shop in the middle of the deep woods. It was hardly necessary for them both to go fetch their assigned tailed beast—Kisame was more than enough. He would arrive soon enough. In the meantime, Itachi had taken advantage of this rare opportunity to drink tea in peace and comfort. He had already taken a sip when he first noticed that something about it was a bit off. He studied it closely for poison, though it was unbelievable that someone this deep in the woods would dare try to poison him; if they knew he was a member of the most feared criminal organization in the world, they also must know that he is Uchiha Itachi, murderer of his clan, and Sharingan master. Was it Konoha? Unlikely… They are not so discreet; they would take a more direct approach especially if his foolish little brother was involved. Unless, of course, they intended on interrogating him for information on the Akatsuki which was more likely. Before he could examine the situation further, however, he felt himself drifting off into a deep slumber. Mentally scolding himself for his stupidity in getting poisoned, he was relieved that it would only put him to sleep—he had much still to do before he died. It would be easy enough to escape, whoever did this would be overconfident in their abilities that they were able to put him to sleep once. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. After all, this type of situation was hardly anything new to a criminal like him, no matter who it was that poisoned him or where they would take him.
But he had no idea that he was about to enter a world completely unlike his own.
A few hours later in a far of (and much more exquisite) place, a young blonde with bright violet eyes and an extremely charming smile sat face to face with the raven haired Uchiha, who was sleeping deeply on a pink sofa. Of course, he had yet to wake up (else the blonde might not have been so happy), so Tamaki simply stared, grinning like a fool with his face only a foot away from Itachi's. "Ne, Mommy, you think he'll do? Do you think he'll say yes?" He looked hopefully over at Kyouya, who had been typing numbers furiously into a calculator.
He nodded, not really paying attention to what Tamaki was saying, then looked at his watch. "You can handle this from here, yes? I'm afraid I have somewhere to be...."
Tamaki lifted his hand and waved towards the door with one large dramatic sweep. "Of course! After all, I recruited every host, have I not?" Smirking and somewhat wishing he could stay to see the show, Kyouya put his calculator in his laptop bag and went towards the door. "Then I'll be off." After watching his friend eave, Tamaki went back to staring happily, waiting for his newest 'friend' to wake up.
The first thing Itachi noticed when he awoke was pink. A lot of pink, in the form of a couch that he had been sleeping surprisingly comfortably on. He had no idea what was going on, why would someone go through all of this and not even take the time to restrain him properly? Very foolish indeed. It would be all too easy to leave this place and Itachi had no intention of staying long. He sat up carefully and took a quick glance around at his surroundings. The room was quite large and extravagantly decorated.
In front of him, staring at him with a large grin on his face, was a young blond man with dazzling eyes. Most likely the on who was responsible for this ridiculous situation of his. Itachi didn't feel any chakra coming from him... Could it be that he was just a civilian; not a ninja at all? Itachi's pride took an extreme plunge for the worst- how could he have been detained by a mere civilian? He glared at the man, his Sharingan twirling rapidly in his confusion and frustration.
"Who are you?" He asked, not wasting any words.
"You're awake!" Tamaki was very good at pointing out the obvious. He watched happily as the man looked around the room, rightfully confused. "I'm Souh Tamaki. My deepest apologies in kidnapping you, but you see... there was no other way." During these three sentences, Tamaki had managed to dance across half the room and was now making a dramatic pose with his hand held out for forgiveness.
Itachi continued staring at him in disbelief. This boy was a complete idiot. But he would wait for a bit before he left this ludicrous place; at least long enough to discover the reason and the means of his kidnapping. He still could not believe that he was defeated by such a... Well, Tamaki.
Itachi remained calm, as always, with an expressionless face and an annoyed glare as he replied to the boys 'apology'. Why apologize to an S-class criminal who could, literally, kill him with merely a glance? "Why did you bring me here?" He asked softly, his voice giving no hint of emotion. "Have you no idea who I am?" How idiotic was this boy...to kidnap none other than Uchiha Itachi and try to have idle conversation with him, with no protection in sight and no ninja skills or defenses...
Tamaki laughed his usual, carefree laugh and stood up, placing his hand just so upon his face and standing with one knee bent, doing his best to look even more attractive than he already knew he was. "Of course I know who you are! That's why I brought you here! Itachi Uchiha, one of the last survivors of his clan, hated by his brother and forced into a criminal life..." He started tearing up as he got down on one knee and continued his proclamation. "It's so tragic! So dark! Yes, that combined with your amazing strength and your stunning good looks, you'll make the perfect host!" He made his way over on his knees attempting to look tragic. "Please, monsieur, we need you. We lost two hosts last year due to graduation... Kyouya nearly had a heart attack when he saw how far sales dropped! And all those poor girls, who no longer have anyone to look up to, anyone to love!" Lacing his voice with as much sincerity as possible, Tamaki continued. "We will repay you, as you can see we have money to spend...." He motioned towards the rest of the room. "Is there anything you want?"
Itachi continued staring at Tamaki in complete and utter incredulity. He didn't know whether to feel disturbed or complemented by Tamaki's monologue. A host club? That's what this was? This boy was trying to convince Itachi Uchiha to join his Host Club? Still... he seemed comically sincere, and clearly they were too rich for their own good-- most likely rich enough to hire skilled enough ninjas to take on even Itachi, as much as he hated to admit it, especially considering his eyesight was only worsening in time with no cure in sight.
This might also be an opportunity to give his foolish younger brother more time to train to be able to take him on, and in time to take on the only other remaining Uchiha... He was still in no way strong enough to even stand a chance against Itachi, let alone Madara if it came to that. And, Itachi thought with a small smirk, this would be the absolute last place that Sasuke or any of the Akatsuki would search.. "I will join this.... Host Club...." To hear the words spoken... Itachi wondered silently what the hell he had gotten himself into. Perhaps a sideaffect of whatever he was drugged with. Yes, that was likely.
In a second, Tamaki had jumped into the air, and he was repeating this motion with much enthusiasm. "YIPPIE! I-TA-CHI! MY BEST FRIEND! SAVES THE DAY!"After repeating his cheer a few times, he landed with a flourish and gave a shallow bow. "Uchiha Itachi, welcome to the Host Club."
Itachi blinked. Was this boy drunk (he had seen all too well the awful effects of too much sake…) or was he simply that childish and stupid? Both, most likely.
"Hn." He said, never one of many words. Besides... what could one really say to such a person? A Host Club... Never would he have thought that he would come within a hundred meters of such a place, and here he was, a part of one. 'Uchiha Itachi, welcome to the Host Club' was a sentence that he never in a million years would have thought he would hear.
Ignoring Itachi's reaction, Tamaki pulled out his cellphone and started typing furiously. A few minutes later, a young girl poked her head through the door. Was she supposed to be another host? It seemed that way, considering she was in the same uniform as the blonde. "Senpai, you're lucky I was studying here at school still, or I wouldn't have come. What is it?" Tamaki skipped his way over to the girl and hovered over her, a familiar sparkle in his eye.
"Haruhi dear, I need you to lend Itachi your uniform." The girl turned her attention to the man next to Tamaki with a curious look in her eyes. "In the meantime…" Tamaki walked over to the conveniently place closet and pulled out a rather expensive looking dress. "You can wear this!"
Sighing, Haruhi looked at Tamaki and shook her head. "Senpai, couldn't you just let him use your extra?"
Tamaki looked very, very hurt. "Y-Yes, but I thought..." He railed off as he sunk to the ground.
Haruhi ignored him and turned her attention again towards Itachi. "Hello, I hope he hasn't given you too much trouble. Itachi, was it? I'm Haruhi."
Itachi studied the girl in front of him carefully. "Yes, Uchiha Itachi." He said. He wondered what a girl was doing in a Host Club like this, but one look at the blond boy on the ground was enough to tell him that he already knew the answer to that. Still, why would she agree to go along with him? "What brings you to this club?" He could at least pretend to be conversational. It was doubtful that he could get away with his usual 'hn's with these types of people.
She smiled and motioned onwards her uniform. "I'm a host here. Are you a new student? Can't you afford your own uniform? That' okay, I couldn't either." She took off her blazer and handed it to Itachi. "I can't give you the whole thing, but for now this should do."
Itachi looked at her curiously. "Aren't hosts generally... male?" He asked her as he studied the light lilac color of the blazer and grudgingly put it on. He sincerely hoped that the rest of the Akatsuki would never see him in such a place... wearing lilac. The shame.... He would never live it down.
She blinked a few times, then smiled again. "Usually, but as long as the girls are happy, does it matter? Of course, I don't really mind if everyone knows my gender or not, but the others might get upset...." Shrugging, she went over to retrieve Tamaki from his corner. "Senpai, why is this man here?"
Tamaki recovered as soon as Haruhi started talking to him and was now making his way over to Itachi. Standing behind him, Tamaki put his hands on his shoulders. Itachi resisted killing him right there. "Haruhi, meet our newest host!"
Haruhi stared at him for a few minutes. "....Senpai.... what did you do...?" He looked appalled that she would even think such a thing.
"Nothing! With a little bit of motivation, he agreed to join on his own!"
Itachi sighed and closed his eyes in annoyance. "Hn." He said, in somewhat hesitant agreement with Tamaki. He wondered how long he would be able to put up with this club before going completely mad, and he had only met two members. Though Itachi did have quite a bit of practice dealing with idiocy from being in the Akatsuki where the members were hardly agreeable... And at least the members of this club wouldn't try to kill each other in every spare moment.
After a few seconds of standing around awkwardly, Haruhi made her way towards the door. "Well, If I'm not needed," she began.
"Wait!" Tamaki interrupted, ad she looked back.
"Yes?" He tried to think of an excuse, and finally came up with one. "Don't forget to bring sweets! Without Hunny here, we're going to need someone to provide them." He looked rather proud of his quick thinking, until Haruhi cut him down.
"Buy your own." She said coldly and left, annoyed that she might miss the sale on bread the supermarket was having just to listen to Tamaki's idiotic speeches again. After watching the door slam, Tamaki seemed to crumble, clearly upset at what was obviously the ultimate rejection.
Itachi had watched this exchange take place and had soon given up trying to comprehend the conversations of Tamaki and Haruhi. He examined the blazer he was wearing again in disdain and saw that it was most likely part of a school uniform. Would he be required to join the school as well? No, he would not go that far. It's not like anyone is gullible enough to believe that he is in high school anyway. He sighed, trying to remember why he had agreed to this.
Where would he live, anyway? It isn't like he could live on the street; that would only raise suspicion, and camping out would be difficult in a place with people like Tamaki… Itachi glanced over to Tamaki, about to question him about his living arrangements, but Tamaki looked quite busy building hamster homes. The Uchiha moved his glance away in irritation and walked over to the window to what kind of place this was. It didn't look much like any place he had been... It was obviously a school, but nothing like the ones in Konoha or any other hidden village. It looked rather excessive for a simple school... Probably for the exceedingly rich, then. He couldn't deny that the view was quite nice, though that did not solve the problem of his having nowhere to live.
Finally Tamaki got over Haruhi being so cold to him and stood up to face his visitor.
"Now, I know you've probably been worrying. But don't worry! I've taken care of it!" Tamaki said excitedly.
Itachi rose an eyebrow in suspicion- was it possible that the boy had actually figured out what his problem was?
He made his way over to the same closet that held the dress he had bought specially for Haruhi. Opening the door a bit farther, it revealed Itachi's Akatsuki cloak as well. "Your entire outfit is right here!"
"Hn." Itachi said, not gracing Tamaki's stupidity with a response. He thought Itachi was worried about his clothes. Such a trivial thing, really.... Clearly he would have to ask about his living arrangements specifically or the boy would never figure it out. "And where am I to live while I am a part of this Host Club?" He asked Tamaki.
His reaction was immediate. Tamaki slouched over and took on the facial expression of a confused four year old.
Though even a four year old could have figured this one out… Itachi thought.
"I.... hadn't thought of that. You might be able to stay with one of the others, or we could get you an apartment...hmm..." He started pacing, thinking hard about hat to do. He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, sometimes I rush into things. Which would you desire?"
"An apartment would be preferable." Itachi stated, growing more and more tired of this boy's idiocy. But this was a mere inconvenience-- it wouldn't matter as long as it gave his brother time enough to become stronger.
With a sigh to announce his presence, Kyouya walked into the room. "Of course, knowing Tamaki as well as I do, I anticipated. Itachi, you live in an apartment eight blocks down the road. My family owns the building, so there is no expense." He took a second to push up his glasses then turned to Tamaki, who's eyes were sparkling.
"Kyouya senpai! You're so amazing!" After a bit of chatter between the two, they finally sent Itachi in the direction of his new home.
"Au revoir, Mon Ami! We will see you tomorrow!" Said Tamaki, who was bouncing once again in front of the front gate. Kyouya gave a small wave, then stepped into his own car to be driven home. Tamaki did the same, after yelling "Goodbye!" a few more times after Itachi.
Itachi closed his eyes again trying to ignore the ceaseless yelling of Tamaki as he walked to his new apartment. When he got there, he was pleased to find that it was, as promised, quite nice. That, at least, would be one benefit of this arrangement. It was rare that a member of the Akatsuki would stay in such a high-class apartment. Most of the money they would make would go straight to Pein's 'cause'.
Itachi, like most of his comrades, didn't particularly care about what the Akatsuki meant. To him it only meant a way to achieve his own personal goals. Though Itachi generally didn't particularly care about comfort living, it was a nice vacation to have a decent place to live. It reminded him of his home back in Konoha before the massacre, the large Uchiha estate.
The place was already furnished, and as far as he could see it took up at least the whole floor. The decorating was a bit too extravagant for his taste, but that was no matter. It would be best to go to sleep now, he thought to himself. After all, tomorrow would be his first day as a part of the Host Club, and that may very well be harder than any assassination or tailed beast hunt.