A/N: Finally, I know. Here's chapter five! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.. yeahhh, if you don't know that... then you have skills

The Hitachiin brothers sat across from each other at a very small tea table, both looking rather annoyed. A few feet away sat their beloved Midoru, and from what they could see she was flirting with that scum Itachi. This, of course, was not the case. Deidara had been complaining to his fellow akatsuki member all day, so in truth, Itachi was probably even more annoyed than either twin, though he did not show it.

Eventually, however, they grew tired of Midoru's cold behavoir toward them and they decided to take some action, much to Deidara's dismay.

"Doru-chan!" Hikaru called as Kaoru snuck to the door, preventing any escape attempts. They'd learned, by now, that Midoru was very... shy... Which, of course, only made them further their attempts to get to know her. But this didn't mean she wouldn't try to escape. As soon as he heard his 'name' Deidara jumped off the couch and ran towards the door. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to go his real speed, so he was caught between the two boys. Lovely. Just what he needed.

"What do you two want?" It's unfortunate these two are so stupid, he thought, or they'd realize how much I want to kill them right now, un. Even Itachi looked up from his cup of tea as he sensed the murderous intent.

"So cruel..." Hikaru said, shaking his head.

"But we still have eachother!" Kaoru stated, looking deeply into Hikaru's eyes and putting on their best twincest show for Deidara, which only served to make him even more disgusted and annoyed.

Seeing Midoru's cold expression out of the corner of their eyes, the twins reverted back to their 'normal' mode and linked arms with her, grinning at eachother.

"Anyway, Doru-chan, we thought you must be sick of Ita-kun over there, so we decided we'll be your hosts today!" They said in unison.

"I'll pass," He said immediately, hoping to crush them. It didn't work. Sure, they acted upset about it, of course, but Deidara could tell that it was only acting.

"Then... if you don't want us as hosts," Kaoru said as he pinned him against the wall with one arm. "... how about a date?" Hikaru finished, mirroring his brother. This time, however, they didn't let Deidara speak. "EXCELLENT!" Linking their arms in his, the twins dragged 'Midoru' out the door.

Itachi watched this scene take place as he drunk his tea calmly. Even he felt some pity for Deidara. He was, however, very grateful that the attention was off of him at last. If it had lasted much longer, word might have gotten out and his brother might have decided to pay Ouran a visit, which wouldn't not be good.

"Hey." A voice called next to him; Haruhi. She smiled lightly. "You always seem to be thinking so hard about everything... Penny for your thoughts?"

"...Pardon?" He asked, not exactly sure what a "penny" was, nor why he should tell her his musings for one. Haruhi blanched a bit. They don't have pennies where he's from? He must be from really far away.

She covered it up with a smile. "Nevermind." Haruhi sat down next to Itachi, ignoring the fangirl squeals of delight coming from the crowd of guests. At this point, Deidara and the twins had both gone from sight. Haruhi chuckled. "Those two seem to have taken quite a liking to your friend there."

"Hn." Haruhi sighed and Itachi gave her a questioning look. Well, questioning for him: more of a side glance that he trusted that the oh, so observant Haruhi could interpret.

"You always say that... 'hn.' Like you don't want anyone to actually know what you're thinking." She explained.

"I prefer my thoughts to remain my own." Itachi replied stoicly. Haruhi gave him an amused look.

"But, right there you just explained one of them, didn't you?"


"I suppose it just takes the right kind of conversation... Oh, well. We'd better get back to our guests before they explode." Haruhi said, gesturing to the group of girls currently observing their conversation with keen interest and adoring eyes, squee-ing over every move they made . Itachi sighed. Back to being a Host, then.

The twins had decided to take Midoru to the most romantic restaurant in town, as well as the most expensive, figuring that, like all girls, Midoru would fall for them right away in the dimly lit room and the romantic atmosphere. Midoru would look down, not being able to handle such beauty and elegance, then look up and stare at them with smoldering eyes. She would look so cute in the dress that they'd arranged for their date, a soft pink with frills at the collar, very expensive and refined.

...Needless to say, that was merely a fantasy. The twins had taken Deidara to a famous dress shop to pick up the beautiful piece of clothing, only to find that soon after they got there it had mysteriously blown up right before they entered. They noticed Midoru chuckling a bit as they got into the car to go to the restaurant, but they figured it was just to cover up her dissapointment.

When Deidara had seen the dress shop he immediatly panicked inside. There was no way in hell that he was stepping one foot into that place, so he decided to use his quick thinking and some of the last of his clay to get rid of that possibility. Ah, but it gave him a good feeling inside causing that explosion. Maybe he'd be able to handle this night after all.

Or not.

They arrived at the restaurant soon after, the twins pouting a bit because of the dress shop incident. It was worse than Deidara expected. There was romantic, modern pop music to 'set the mood' and dark curtains covering the windows, with an ornate design on them. The walls were covered in paintings and roses and the lighting was dark, the room illuminated by just a few candles at each table, with a crack of light coming from the kitchen door.

The twins each led Deidara to a table on the side of the room, both arms locked in his preventing any escape without making a scene. Deidara glared at them as they forced him into a booth on one side of the table and sat opposite of him, their heads leaning on their hands and staring intently on the poor Akatsuki member. Deidara continued to glare, thinking of a way that he could get away from this 'date' without making a huge scene. Before he got anywhere, however, a waitress arrived at the table.

"Hello, there!" she said, mostly to the two hosts, and glaring daggers at Deidara for not appreciating them. They looked up at her and smiled charmingly, hoping to get some reaction from Midoru. The waitress blushed. "Um... are you ready to order?"

"We'll have..." the twins listed off various foods in another language that Deidara had no idea what they meant, but he guessed was insanely expensive. "Order whatever you like, Doru-chan!" they told him. He looked at the menu and had no idea... what the hell was caviar? It sounded like a dying animal. He glared at the menu, hoping to perhaps erase it's existance with a glare... but there were always explosives, too, he supposed. The twins chuckled at his frustration and told the waitress another few items that Deidara had never heard of. The waitress walked off, still faint from the experience with the two hosts. Deidara wondered what anyone saw in them

The twins noticed that their 'make Doru-chan jealous' technique wasn't working, so they decided to go with another approach-- To impress her with their charms and their wit.

"So, Midoru-chan," Hikaru began, Deidara resisted flinching from the name.

"How is it that you've come to live in Japan? You're not from around here, right?" Kaoru finished. They both looked at her curiously, their eyes watching her intently. Maybe she'd blush.... she would look so adorable if she blushed. Deidara, of course, did nothing of the sort.

"None of your business, un!" He replied. The twins didn't react, but continued to question.

"So you have family troubles? How tragic!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"I didn't say that, just that it's none of your business!" Deidara replied. He had no particular desire to make something up at the moment, and he could hardly tell them the truth about who he was.

Kaoru shook his head. "Look, it hurts her just thinking about it!"

Hikaru smiled and put his hand on Midoru's shoulder. "It's okay, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Deidara blinked. When did this turn into a sympathy date? A regular one was bad enough...

The food had finally arrived, which was good, because that meant the date was almost over. Except for the fact that Deidara had no idea what he was eating. After taking a bite of some french dish, and nearly gagging, he pushed the food away and said he wasn't hungry.

The twins gasped. "I think she's watching her weight!" Deidara deadpanned.

"Oh, Doru-chan, you must eat something! You're so beautiful, there's no reason to worry about such things!" The other one continued.

"A good meal is important for young ladies like yourself," they said, pushing the food back to Deidara.

Deidara managed to eat it, although he felt slightly sick afterward. Still, at least it shut them up. And the date was nearly over, it had to be, they'd already eaten...

"Waitress!" Hikaru called. The waitress came over at once. "Can we order some desert? We'll have..." Hell, no, thought Deidara. There was no way he would sit through another course.

He felt around in his bag for the last bit of his clay and molded it into a small bird. The bird flew around to the front wall of the restaurant and perched above the door. A few seconds later, there was a loud 'BOOM' and the front half of the restaurant was gone in a flash. Deidara grinned. Seeing the place go up in flames gave him a warm feeling inside.

"That's been happening a lot lately!" Hikaru pointed out, as they got into the car. "You sure you're all right, Doru-chan?"

"I'm fine, un, just stop asking that." Deidara replied.

"Well, I guess we'll just go back to our place for dessert." Kaoru instructed the driver and they began heading to the twins' home.

"Can't we just go back now?" Deidara begged.

"But it's not even dark out! And we need to make it up to you that the restaurant exploded, right?" Hikaru said. Deidara gave up arguing, knowing it was hopeless. He sighed and glared at them for the rest of the car ride, leaning back in his chair, wishing the night would be over. Before long the car pulled up to a large intricate black gate. Deidara stared up at the house, trying not to look to impressed. It had to be at least a third of the size of the school, which had to be the largest building the Akatsuki member had ever seen. The twins, noticing the look on their precious Midorus face, smirked and started bragging loudly.

"Sure, its home," started Kaoru, "But we prefer our New York flat to this one," continued his brother, "And our Rome mansion is even better." Unfortunately, these words were wasted on Deidara, as he had no idea where any of these places were.

After getting inside, Hikaru pulled his twin aside while Deidara inspected a statue that sat in the grand hall, concluding that it was complete crap, and blowing it up.

"I think its time," Hikaru told his brother solemnly " to use that."

Kaoru looked at Hikaru in horror. "That?" Hikaru nodded. "Are you sure that's the only way?"

His brother shook his head. "I can't see any other way..."

Kaoru shook his head. "Count me out. It's not worth it."

"It can't be that bad... I've heard it's the movie that no girl can resist!" Hikaru tried to persuade his brother, so that he wouldn't have to go through it alone.

Sadly, however, Kaoru was adament in his refusal to watch it.

So twenty minutes later, Hikaru and Deidara were left alone in the luxerious living room, sitting on the couch, watching Twilight.

It was hard to tell who was enjoying it less. Deidara tried to ignore the stupidity, although he found if a bit morbidly amusing in it's terribleness. Hikaru tried to look like he was taking it seriously, so as not to make Midoru feel bad or get upset with him.

"'Say it,' said a dramatic male voice. 'Out loud.'


That was when Deidara could no longer hold in his laughter. It was the most ridiculous, idiotic, cliche, dramatic movie he'd ever seen. Hikaru, after seeing that Deidara wasn't taking it seriously either, cracked up as well, letting go of the laughter he'd been trying to keep silent for the past half an hour. He even let his host facade slip a little bit.

"Is this... for real?" Hikaru asked between gales of laughter.

"This the most un-artistic piece of trash I've ever seen..." Deidara said, still laughing harder than he ever had in his life. They spent the next hour flinging insults and mocking the television screen, taking particular enjoyment at how well Deidara could mimic Bella's voice.

The movie had finally ended, and Deidara and Hikaru were still laughing at it. Neither of them had ever seen anything quite so terrible in their whole life, and that included an awful memory of Tobi trying to dance while drunk.

"That was the worst thing," Hikaru paused to catch his breath, " I've ever seen..."

Deidara nodded. "People actually enjoy this, un?"

Hikaru shook his head. "Now I see why Kaoru wouldn't watch it with us."

"Can't say I particularly blame him..."

By now Hikaru had dropped his host act, making way for his real personality. It was nice being with a girl and just being himself. He occasionally got that with Haruhi, but it's not like he could get too close to her, what with Tamaki's obsession. This was something rare - he barely acted this way around anyone but his brother. Midoru was a refreshing change from the other guests. It was all to easy to win the other girls hearts, she was going to be a challenge, and goodness knows how Hikaru loved games.

Deidara decided that he would be able to tolerate someone like Hikaru, so long as he didn't slip back into 'host mode'. This Hikaru he could actually see not hating, and that said a lot seeing as Deidara was... well, Deidara. Still, he could hardly see them being friends, so long as he was in love with his female alter-ego.

The movie didn't exactly make Midoru-chan fall in love with him, thought Hikaru, or fawn over the main character like many other girls would, but it did let them have a few hours where they could just be themselves... which was a nice change for both of them.

A/N: Here is the next chapter! Enjoy it! ...I swear, there IS plot coming up next chapter, but I wanted to get something up there since I've kept you all waiting so long. Plus I'm a bit unmotivated since I saw another fic with pretty much the same exact premis as mine, Itachi as a host and Deidara as a girl, hikaru/deidara, that was written a while after mine was published... yeaaaah. (*cough and my co-writer failing epically cough*) But, myeh. Here you are. The final pairings are going to be HikaDei and ItaHaru. So if you have issues with them, I'm sorry, they're not going to take up the whole story like they did this chapter, this was mainly to test out those pairings and get another chapter up there before you all hate me. As always, reviews are nice, but I'm not going to beg. I'll try to have the new chapter up by next week or the week after, but I'm working on a D Gray Man/Kuroshitsuji fic as well, so... yeah.