March 19th, 2009

"Tory don't you have any cheese?" Carrie asked, though I barely heard her.

Instead, I turned the page, getting excited as I knew what part came next. The old paper crinkled, the corner that I had dog-eared flapping in the breeze that came in through the open window. I smiled as I read the greatest line in the history of literature, the one that I had underlined. I looked up to say something to Carrie about it and found her standing right next to me, an eyebrow raised, her hands on her hips.

"Are you really reading that book again?" she asked, gesturing to my beat up copy of The Perks of Being A Wallflower. The cover no longer lay flat and it made me laugh. "What is that, your tenth time?"

"Sixteenth, actually," I replied, grinning when she sighed and shook her head. "It's a great book."

"I know it's a great book, you've only made me read it a few hundred times."

I stood up and patted her cheek mockingly but she slapped it away, chasing me around the kitchen as I squealed and tried to get away. At last she caught me, knocking me to the floor where we landed in a heap, laughing so hard we had to grip our sides.

"So do you have any cheese?" Carrie asked, her face still echoing a laugh as she untangled herself from me and went back to the stove.

After getting the cheese out of the fridge for her, I sat back down at the table, allowing my gaze to slide out the window as I absentmindedly played with the ripped corner of the book. It was a particularly warm day so Kayla had taken the kids to the local park. Carrie had taken the opportunity of the quiet house to come over and make the two of us tacos for lunch.

"Why?" I had asked her when she burst through the front door without warning.

"Why not?" she had replied, already getting the meat out and on the stove.

"What are you thinking?" Carrie asked me, and I turned my head to find her watching me carefully. I wondered what my face was betraying.

"I'm scared," I said softly, not realizing it until the words had left my mouth. Unable to meet her gaze any longer, I picked at the old checkered tablecloth.

"Of what?" she asked, flipping the tortillas in the pan as I watched, amazed. I had never been particularly good in the kitchen.

"Josh," I said, a little louder. "Me. Me and Josh. The future. What if…what if he ends up…"

"He is not going to end up like Julian and you know it Tory. That boy is different." She began fixing a couple of tacos for us, the smell already making my mouth water. "Tell me something," she said.

"What?" I asked, grinning at her as she sat down across from me and handed me my taco.

"Why do you believe in God?"

I was never a particularly religious person but I still had my own faith.

"I believe in God because I want to believe that there is something better," I told her, biting into my taco. A glob of meat and salsa fell onto my plate.

"Okay, so believe in Josh because he is something better," Carrie said simply.

I looked at her for a second and she gazed steadily back at me, so sure.

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

Whew! It sure has been awhile, huh? Is anyone still here? I hope so, haha

Yeah, so I apologize. The creativity to this just completely got lost in the wind, but a little bit obviously came back to me tonight, so I harnessed it the best I could to write this for anyone that still visits. There isn't much of this story left as it is, maybe one or two more "chapters".

Anyway. Tell me what you think if you read this, anyone, I love to hear from everybody. :) -zoomie