Anything but Mine
Summary: The war is over but Snape remains a slave. Inherited to Harry in the passing of the DarkLord, Harry wont let go and now Snape is seeing the ghost of Lily.
Warnings: This story contains non-con/dub-con depending which way you want to view it as. Also, slave!Snape and possessive!confused!Harry. Read at your own risk. Some Snarry (gosh never pictured myself writing Snarry) and some Snape\Lily, for now.
Not betaed. Never had I ever had a story that was betaed, or anyone beta my stories. That would explain the spelling and grammar errors. Back in High School English was never my strongest subject. As you would see when reading this story. Rest assured that I did make a real attempt, though. If you notice an error, feel free to point it out but I wont promise to correct it any time soon for I have no internet at home and always struggle to find time to go and find me some free Wi-Fi. And then rush to get things done when I am finally connected. Life as me sucks! And not just because of that…
Can you say gloomy much… ugh GemGem snap out of it. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. I love my life. I love my life.
Officially going to shut up!
Stop scrolling down… story finally here!
Chapter One: Free or not, I'm gone.
"You defeated the dark Lord. What else do you want?"
"For you to disappear from his life"
"I don't see that happening, as he is mine."
"He is bound to me, and you are not allowed to even talk to him. Now, leave!"
"Not without him."
Severus listened to the conversation half heartedly. He has lived all his life in pain, that listening to them argue to whom he belonged to like some sort of property didn't faze him one bit. After years of being claimed, and borrowed, and used, and returned, and sent away, only to be brought back to this- is all he considers normal. The pain that has always been embarked on him, all normal; the hate, the false love, just normal. Not ever having a choice to whom he wished to belong to, or ever having someone that belong to him; normal. He was an animal, ranking lower then a house elf; or at least that's how he felt. Of all his inheritance and all his possessions, nothing has ever felt his; not even his own body. All he really had was his mind, in which he wished to escape from.
But after all had been done, all he hoped for was to get a little taste of what many considered normal. To fall in love, and forever be with his love by their own choosing. To build a house, have some kids, and settle down. Or at least just visit a pub without needing permission of another to just have a drink.
After the defeat of the Dark Lord, that's what he expected would happen. Finally be free. He just didn't see this coming; he didn't expect this bind to be passed down. It was strange his current predicament, but he has learned how to disconnect so id didn't hurt as much. Now, all he needed was an escape.
He slowly and calmly walked to the back door. Turned the knob carefully, making sure he didn't make a noise. The door squeaked a bit as he tried to pull it open, and he paused his movement as both men in the other room seemed to hush. He turned to look at the bottom of the door across the room from him, seeing the shadow of two pair of feet appear. He was sure he was going to get caught trying to flee. Caught red handed, hand on the knob, but… wait…
"What give you the right to walk around my house, freely?" One finally said.
Severus released a sigh as the shadows seemed to disappear. The argument that once again erupted between them was the distraction he needed for him to slink out unnoticed.
"I loved, and cared, and protected him. I took him in when no one else would."
"You did anything but that, you hurt him when he was most fragile, then gave him away to Voldemort."
"I had no choice."
"Tell me, how does it feel giving away your pet by orders of your precious Dark Lord? Or having a kid with another woman while he was being brutally raped and tortured by Death Eaters? By Voldemort? He is not yours, now, and never will be. Now, get out."
And with that the fair-haired older man left, slamming the door behind him. A couple of seconds past and Harry finally let himself plop down on a sofa and poured himself a shot of fire whiskey, sighing after the liquid had settled in his stomach.
He was thinking back on the argument, hating himself for even letting Lucius enter his house and much more for letting him near Severus. And it wasn't till then that it occurred to him how loud they were being, and yet he had not heard from Severus after Lucius had left.
Harry quickly got back to his feet and began his search for Severus in his giant mansion. The mansion was given to him, along with many other enormous gifts, for defeating the Dark Lord once and for all. But from all he received, his most priced one was the one given to him by no one other then Voldemort, Severus Snape, in which in the current moment he couldn't find.
He checked every room, every corner, every hole and every shadow and still he could not find him. After a couple of hours of searching, he had no other choice but to call for some help.
Severus kneeled down in front of the grave of Lily Potter Evans. He stretched out his arm and his fingers lightly started tracing Lily's name carved on the stone. He imagined her; her beautiful face, her red hair, her kind smile, her delicate skin, but he refused to think that those hard, cold, possessive eyes that Harry has belonged to her. Those green compassionate ones were different. The way she looked at him; deep, piercing, with no hate, no disgust, just at him… or so he wished them to. But still…
His only regret in life was not trying for her a little harder. He remembers wallowing up on everything that had been done to him, to depressed; to insecure to even approach her, tell her he was sorry, tell her he loved her, and needed her. But everywhere, it was rubbed in his face what a beautiful couple James and Lily made. But he didn't see that; James was a monster, just like his friends. How could Lily not see that?
"Ah, look what we go here." Snape turned to look at three recognizable faces; loyal Death Eaters.
Severus gulped and quietly stood, never taking his eyes away from the three.
"Are you lost there, Sev?" One said mockingly with a big grin on his face, revealing his rotten teeth. "Where's you master?" He said pretending to search for someone in range, and once again landing his libidinous gaze on Severus.
Severus took a step back as they approached him and circled around him, two of them grabbed him each by the arms, as the other single handedly pulled him closer by his face, squeezing his cheeks, and inspected him around, under his coat and all of his pockets. Searching for something only he knew. Finally he pulled Severus face in front of his own. "No wand, I see." He said laughing behind his teeth, smothering Severus with a foul smell coming form the others mouth. "Don't worry." He said closing the gap between them. "I'll let you borrow mine." Severus clearly understood what he meant as he felt the other's prick pocking his belly even under all the cloth.
All three men started laughing, drowning Severus with their retched breaths and he held his own breath compulsively trying not to breathe it in. He too started to laugh loudly, if not louder then the three, at himself at how dumb it was that he was more worried of what sort of air he was inhaling other then worrying about what is about to occur to him. He was so deep in his own irony that he didn't even realize that he was alone in his amusement for what same like minutes.
"Has he gone mad?" One asked the other, clearly worried about Severus lack of fearfulness.
"Maybe we are being too soft." Another growled out, tightening his hold on Severus arm and yanking Severus' hair so his head was pulled back immediately ceasing Severus' laughter. Severus tightly closed his eyes and clenched his jaw at the sudden pain. "See, all he needed was a good tug to get him back in order." The biggest of them said. "Just like a fucking bitch."
The skinniest and smallest of the three giggled as he traced Severus' lips down his jaw, his neck, the rim of his shirt, the top button and hungrily yanked it of his shirt revealing his bony collar. He was about to touch the skin at Severus' revealed shoulders when his hand was slapped away.
"I get a go at him first." The one standing in front of Severus said.
"Why?" The skinny one asked pouting his lips.
"I saw him first."
"No, it's my turn." The biggest said, releasing Severus' hair and yanking him towards himself, hugging him by the waist possessively, practically lifting him up. Severus was barely tippy-toeing.
"Fine, but I'm next."
"Why am I always last?"
"Shut up, would you."
"Release him." All three turned to look at the origin of the voice.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black… so good to see you. What brings you here this late at night?" The skinniest one said bowing his head immediately taking a couple of steps back so he could hide behind the biggest.
"Don't play stupid. I'm not here to chat; I'm here for what is mine." Harry stated bluntly, causing the skinny one to coward even more.
"I don't see what you speak of. To my understanding, this belongs to Mr. Lucius Malfoy." Said the biggest; yanking Severus behind him to hide him from sight.
Harry pulled out his wand and pointed straight at the biggest. "You do not want to see me angry." Harry said warningly.
The biggest spat on the floor, pondering if it was worth it, obviously putting his brain in good use, he took a couple of steps aside and kept walking as the rest fallowed behind; leaving Harry still pointing the wand straight ahead, still, this time at Severus. His head was bowed, his body shivering under the thin cloth of his shirt.
Harry took the time to observe Severus at this state. Visible breath smothering the air in front of them all, coming in constant pulses, except for Severus who seem to be breathing not at all. Finally putting his arm holding the wand down and picked up the other stretching his hand out to Severus. "Come, Severus." He peacefully offered.
Severus didn't obey, but hugged himself as he could finally feel the piercing coldness of the night numbing his frozen muscles. He released a sigh from under his expression, clearly objecting the summoning.
"Severus, you're safe, now. Take my hand so we can go home before you catch a cold or something worse." Harry said, approaching Severus and Severus took a step back, but Harry didn't cease to approach.
He quickly took of his cloak and wrapped it around Severus' shacking shoulders and took a quick glance at his parents' tombstones immediately understanding why Severus had chosen to run away to this particular location.
Harry took the thin frame into his arms, hugging him close to his own body and Apparated them back to his mansion. Sirius fallow shortly after.
Once back, Harry moved Severus quickly to his bedroom, sitting him on his mattress. Severus still shivered from head to toe. From behind Harry, Sirius transformed from his animagus for to his human.
"Welcome back, Snivellus." Sirius said moodily, to the shacking body in front of him and leaned against the wall.
"Sirius…" Harry calmly warned.
"What?" Sirius added still quiet moody.
"Don't you think he's been through enough?"
"It's his fault." Sirius growled. "Who wonders of this late at night by himself? Especially when you're considered a Death Eater to half the population and a traitor to the other?"
"That's beside the point." Harry said pulling out some pajamas from one of the many drawers of the gigantic dresser coexisting in the bed room.
"Why do you protect him, Harry?" Sirius asks apologetically. The late night obviously rendering him tiered causing him to lift his hands up in truce. "I'm sure he can do that himself…" He yawned out.
"Because…" Harry began, sighing in reflection before continuing. "Because he's mine." He shamelessly confessed.
"Have you gone mad, Harry?" Sirius said enraged, picking himself of the wall and moving forward to look Harry straight in the face. Harry seemed to be all there, he seemed sane enough but he could not be all that sure. Something about the way he looked at Severus.
"Maybe..." Harry said calmly petting Severus' raven hair.
"Harry?" Sirius watched as Harry lifted Severus' face to meet his own; but Severus refused to take his eyes from the floor. Sirius was shocked to see Severus' cheeks soaked with his own tears. "Harry, when are you planning on releasing him?" Sirius asked suddenly snapping Harry back to reality.
"Release… Him..?" Harry asked in slight confusion.
"Yes, Harry." Sirius said cautiously. "Don't you remember? We spoke to you about it…"
"Sorry, Godfather, but it seems I have a head ache. Can't this wait till tomorrow?" Harry said as he rubbed his temples with both his hands, moving forward, practically shoving Sirius out of the room.
"Godfather, tomorrow, please." Harry said slamming the door behind Sirius.
Sirius left the manor promptly after that to drop by the Wesley family for a quick chat.
Harry spun around back to Severus. "What's wrong, Severus?" He cooed.
Severus' head was once again bowed, and he shook it side to side, never looking up.
"Severus, you know I'm going to have to punish you. You shouldn't have run away like that, you scared me half-to-death." He said sitting next to him and petting his long raven hair again. "But that could wait till tomorrow." He put his face in his hands, bringing their faces close together and Harry planted a kiss on his forehead, on his cheek, on his lips. Severus put up a small resistance, but knew that was pointless, so he let Harry kiss him.
Severus releases a small whimper as Harry proceeds to invade his mouth, causing Harry to fill with excitement and his gentle hands got a little rougher. His hand pulled down the cloak from Severus' shoulders, and moved his hand under Severus' shirt, feeling his sensitive, cold, soft skin under clammy fingers; Severus' tears slowly making their way down his cheeks.
Harry parted their lips to pull the shirt over Severus' head, gently laying him down, carefully undoing his pants. Fingers clumsy with anticipation, but his hand quickly moved to his protruding hip bones. Massaging his hands over the soft, hard surface; making his way up to his concaved stomach and to his visible rib cage. Severus brought his hands to his face and turned his upper side to one side, as if to hide himself; his shoulders slightly shook.
"Severus, you're beautiful." Harry whispered into his ear. Severus shook his head side to side, not wanting to accept what Harry had just said. Harry once again turned him around, pulling his hands from his face and pinning them down with his own weight on the mattress.
"Harry…" Severus whispered as Harry traced his neck with his lips, leaving small kisses as he moved further down; finishing his path down on his collar bones, sucking on them hungrily. "Harry… Nh… Stoh…" Severus tears slowly dripping down to the comforter. But Severus light words encouraged Harry to keep moving; rougher, faster.
Harry let go of Severus' bruised wrist, once again focusing on his pants. Furiously, he yanked them open, easily pulling them off along with his muddy shoes and soaked socks, and pushed Severus further into the large bed as he spread his legs apart and moved in between them. Quickly undressing himself and undoing his own pants, he pulled them down half thigh. Exposing just what was so desperate to make contact.
Harry's senses gave way as he brought the tip of his dick close to Severus' warm opening; making him fall over, landing his hands on each side of Severus. Severus cried a little as Harry started to move in without warningly, slowly tearing the wounds open that were barely starting to heal. Severus slapped his hand over his mouth as he felt yet another cry coming. "Hnfph."
Harry took his wrists again, putting them above his head and holding them in place with one hand. "Nuh uh… I like to hear you voice, I want to hear you CRY." Severus yelled out a cry somewhat loudly as Harry ravishly pushed in roughly at the last word.
Harry started to pump faster, moaning and calling out Severus' name.
Finally, Harry released inside of Severus and Harry fell to one side of Severus, his heart pulsing in adrenaline. When Harry could finally get himself together, he embraced Severus and pulled him in closer to his body, fitting Severus' smaller-thinner frame into his fully grown one.
"Love you, Severus. No one will ever take you away from me. I won't let them. You're mine and mine, only." Harry whispered into Severus' ear as he drifted of to sleep.
Slowly, Severus started to open his eyes at the sound of his name.
Severus, Severus… My Prince. Come to me.
He had a head ache but he ignored it as he blinked his eyes a couple of times, trying to clear his vision. The room was dark, the moon light lit to the large bedroom through the tall window. His arms pushed his body up to a sitting position, carefully turning back to look at Harry's sleeping form. He liked harry better like this; innocent – just like he was before the war was over, before he defeated the Dark Lord, before he inherited him.
The whispery voice called out again. His mind finally processing that he was indeed hearing it after all, making it not a dream… making it real.
Slowly he stood, carefully pulling a bed sheet around himself making sure not to wake Harry. Quietly he took deliberate steps on the cold wooden floor out the large room.
He heard the voice say again and he followed it compliantly, leading him down the hall, two floors down – bare feet moved slowly, sleepily – maybe he was dreaming. He wasn't sure, anymore. He was sure of one thing though, he wasn't thinking. But he didn't care. Now a day's, nothing mattered. Nothing hurt anymore, nothing scared him, he was nothing but a mass of skin, bones, blood - waste of space. He should have been dead a long time ago.
The voice spoke from just a couple of feet from him. He looked up to see a figure glowing in the darkness that was the kitchen. Empty kitchen – he could not remember how he got here.
He looked into the face of the figure. Beautiful – just like he remembered it, young, her eyes took his breath away. The way they looked back at him, loving, caring, pure of sin – something that Harry's lacked.
Severus, my prince…
The figure of Lily Potter Evans' took a step closer to him, her arm reaching to touch his face. Overwhelmed, Severus closed his eyes, taking in a sharp breath, feeling disoriented, dizzy, light-headed. He could feel his knees want to buckle. He grabbed the edge of the counter next to him for support.
Seconds ticked to minutes in silence, he never felt a hand on him, never felt anything and for a second he could promise that he was only imagining things. But as long as he kept his eyes shut, he would never know. Know if Lily Potter Evans really ever stood in front of him. And he had to know so slowly he opened his eyes and he suppressed a gasp when he saw her still standing before him, patiently waiting. Her stunning green eyes still looking back at him - sorry eyes, sad eyes.
Are you afraid of me, Severus?
She spoke and Severus feeling more awake then ever was speechless, wide-eyed, and gawked at her still in mild shock.
Even if he could speak, how would he answer that?
No, he wasn't afraid. He couldn't be… not of her, not of anyone (he had forgotten what true fear felt like because fear implied afraid of a threat made to one's life and that just wasn't so for him), but especially of her.
But, yes, in a way he was. Only of her. Always was. About what she felt. Hate… towards him? Distrust, disgust? What? He was always to afraid to know of what she really thought of him. Could she see the monster he was? Is that why she looked back at him like that?
"Sorry…" Severus whispered eyes averted from her, his heart in his throat beating fast, way to fast. Had she heard him, the word he has been meaning to tell her to mend things between them? Was it too little, too late? He had lost control of his breathing.
Came her worried voice. He could feel her approach.
"Don't, please." He begged, voice shaking, struggling to breath, struggling to stand. His eyes closed shut and he concentrated only in breathing - that was all he could do now. Concentrate, breathe…
She hindered. And he felt something, some estranged feeling – relief. No, it was deeper then that. Warmth. No, but he was getting closer…
His heart still raced, along with his thoughts. Everything overwhelming, too much to take in so suddenly, too much to open up to, again.
But he felt something with her he had not felt in a long time and he wanted to open up to it - give into her, in a way yearned.
He could feel her close now but she never touched him, never pressured for contact. Gave him space but still let him know she was there, waiting, patiently, wordlessly comforting…
TBC… with enough support. Haha! I'm evil. But no really, have other's stories I want to continue and finish. Some original… and I don't want to get entangled in another one if it's not liked. Started this one in a whim…