AN: Hope you enjoy! I'll actually be able to bring my laptop on vacation with me, so hopefully I'll get another chapter in this week.
"Emmett, are you done?"
"No," Emmett grunted. The mannequins were more realistic than we could have imagined. He was trying to get the pinky of the male mannequin into the female's . . . ah . . . You know what I mean.
"Look at this." Emmett shook his head as though in disgust or disappointment. "This guy's dick is only, like, half the size of mine." He reached for his belt, and I shielded my eyes.
"No, Emmett. I definitely don't want to see."
"Prude," Emmett muttered as he wrestled the mannequins' arms around each other. I'd already stripped them of their dull brown locks and given the guy a rainbow Mohawk, the girl a black and red highlighted shoulder-length wig. And for Carlisle's sake, we left them naked. Naked was a lot better than any of Emmett and Rosalie's costume sets.
"Done," Emmett said, standing. The mannequins were wrapped around each other in an unquestionable position.
"Emmett, I have to hand it to you-not even Eddie and Bella could have made it look that realistic. And we know how good they are with these things."
"Emmetazoid is the master. Don't forget that."
"Yeah, yeah." I couldn't help but smile at the mannequins and their plastic lovemaking. "Carlisle will freak! Who are we doing next?"
"Rosalie." I said at the same time, answering my own question.
"Come on, Em. We don't have to mess up her makeup! We always prank everyone."
"Yeah-how many times have we been home alone?"
"Once," I replied in a tiny voice.
"Yeah, always." A snort. I fumed.
"Why can't we prank Rose?"
"Why can't we prank Jasper?"
"It's different," we said at the same time.
"No it isn't!" we shouted in unison.
"Come on," we both sighed.
We glared at each other.
"Why can't we do Jasper?" Emmett demanded.
"Dammit Emmett, you of all people should understand! I want new underwear! Why can't we do Rosalie?"
Emmett was at a loss for words. "Catwoman?" he offered meekly.
I tried something I had been experimenting with-making decisions to see the outcomes, then changing my mind if the outcome wasn't good. I'm going to let Emmett prank Jazz. Instantly a vision flashed across the forefront of my thought. Jasper's room, that I had so caringly painted, decorated, and filled with pictures of the two of us, spray-painted hot pink with the words Barbie Rox my Sox written in purple marker, clothes replaced by spaghetti tops and skinny jeans that were very obviously from my room, his beloved new guitar plastered with unicorn stickers. My mouth fell open with a little pop.
"Emmett Cullen! I can't believe you were going to do that! Why would you put my clothes in Jazz's closet?" I concentrated and saw dress slacks and button-down shirts in my closet. "And you were going to put his clothes in mine! Oh my God, Emmett! Don't you have any respect for fashion? Cross-dressing is a major taboo!"
"What are you talking about?" Emmett said innocuously, fluttering his lashes.
"Ew. Don't do that. And I'm on to you, Mr. Emmetazoid. Oh, am I onto you. And if you spray-paint a single centimeter of Jazz's beautiful room, I will personally see to it that your subscription to Pornography Monthly is canceled. Oh, and I'll tell Esme about the closet."
I could have sworn that Emmett's bone white face paled. "What closet?" he managed.
"The closet hidden behind Rosalie's dresser that is stuffed with porn videos, pictures of 'positions' and magician and bunny outfits!" I hissed.
Emmett was quiet for a moment. My dramatic outbursts have that effect, it seems. "I see your point."
I raised an eyebrow.
"No pranking Jasper," he swore, holding up his right hand.
"Swear on this Marc Jacob scarf," I ordered, whipping one from Carlisle's desk chair.
Emmett groaned. "I swear not to prank Jasper," he said, putting his hand on the scarf.
I smirked and stood. "Good. Now let's think of something good for Esme." I shivered just a little; it might not have seemed apparent, but Esme was really the scariest of the Cullens when angered. At least Jasper's room would survive the weekend defiled.
"HA! I GOT YOU!" Emmett crowed, raising his hands in triumph. "I was crossing my fingers!"
"What?" I screamed. "How did I not see that?"
"I guess you just weren't paying attention," Emmett said smugly. In the next instant he was out of the room.
I sprinted after him. "You get the hell back here, Emmett Cullen!" "Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man!" Emmett sang.
I reached out to grab his arm-he was going to crash right through the wall of Carlisle and Esme's bedroom. But before I could yank him back, he threw me across the room and streaked away.
"Ugh," I groaned. "I hate spur-of-the-moment decisions."
I heard a familiar gleeful chuckle and catapulted myself off the bed. Emmett was in Jasper's room with an aerosol can in his hand, laughing manically as he pointed it up at the ceiling.
"Noo!" I tackled him and watched in horror as the aerosol can went flying out of Emmett's hands and flew past mine. It hit the opposite wall.
A shower of pink came out, coating the wall, the furniture, and my Uggs.
My mouth dropped as I silent-screamed for a whole minute.
Emmett watched me nervously.
I finally snapped my mouth shut. "Emmett. Thomas. McCarty. Cullen."