I woke up one morning, and discovered that I own completely NOTHING. Same as every other morning. ¬¬

Author's Note:

Well…this has been floating in my head for a while. Decided to let it out. End of question paper. *Wonders off to prod sister with a stick to see what happens*


When one is utterly wasted…things one really doesn't want people to know have a tendency to slip out…

Between You and Me

Everything was tranquil on a quiet London street. There wasn't even an inkling of a bird song; all the furry little winged creatures had long since gone to bed. Not a soul walked on the pavement, and the only sounds were the muted roar of cars as they rolled in puddles caused by an earlier rainfall. The twinkling stars up in the sky smiled down upon the setting, happy and content.

In fact, Reader's Road was quietly tucked up in bed, dreaming of lottery wins and whirlwind romances.

Well, most of it anyway.

A beam of light was thrown up against a wall as a door was opened; it was yellow and welcoming. An empty bottle was promptly thrown from it; it whizzed in the air until it collided with the opposite wall. It shattered into several pieces with a series of awful crashes, and it was followed by a drunken roar from the building it had been hurled from.

The only people on Reader's Road that were awake were the drunks in the well known pub, The Library, and they were making a lot of noise. So much noise in fact, that many of the lights in the neighbouring houses flickered on as their owners staggered to their windows, quite annoyed that their sleeping fantasies had been rudely interrupted. They threw open their windows and hurled insults at the pub, screaming at them to keep it down. Drunken cries of "NEVA'!" and "SHUT UP YOU OLD BAT!" Were thrown back at them, and many slammed their windows shut, quietly fuming as they returned to their beds with pillows stuffed on their ears.

The door of The Library slammed shut again, cutting off the beam of once welcoming light and cutting off a drunken sing-a-long which had struck up in the pub.

And, soon after, a woman appeared on the street. She pulled her trendy looking raincoat tighter around herself as the cold bit into her skin. She shivered, and pawed the ground with her feet in an attempt to get warmer. She threw a well aimed scowl at the pub, which was so intense that it was surprising that the building didn't catch fire.

'Right.' River Song said decidedly to herself, took in a deep and determined breath, and marched straight inside. When she threw open the door, a drunken chorus of wolf whistles were aimed at her. She rolled her eyes and boldly entered, shutting the door quietly behind her.

And the street was peaceful once more.

And about five minutes later, the door was opened again with a rather well aimed kick with a high-heeled boot, and River Song staggered out with a seriously drunk Doctor on her arm.

'BYE BYE BOYSH!' The Doctor roared into the pub as River struggled to drag him away. She noted that his tie had somehow managed to wind itself around his head, and that he had also managed to commandeer someone's humongous pair of sunglasses. His rapidly dwindling attention span focused with some difficulty on the fact that he couldn't see very well.

'I can't shee very well…hash I gone blind?' The Doctor slurred as he wobbled dangerously. River struggled to hold him upright as he nearly toppled over, but managed to right him as he gave a mad bark of laughter.

'No, Doctor.' River assured him. 'You haven't gone blind. You're just wearing sunglasses.'

'Am I?!' The Doctor asked, clearly astounded. He had obviously forgotten the fact that he had put them on at some point in the duration of the evening.

And, just to make sure, he gave himself a sharp prod in the face.

'Doctor!' River chided as she dragged him along. 'Don't do that!'

He gave her a poorly aimed scowl as she continued to haul him along to the little blue box that had been parked for the evening in the entrance of a disused alley way.

River groaned in frustration when she found that the alleyway had been in use that night. And in the most annoying of ways, too.

Some spray paint wielding criminal had decided that the TARDIS was in need of some decoration, and had scrawled, "REEDING IS 4 LOOOZERS." On its front in bright white paint, with a nice little line underneath. While River stood for a moment to fume at it, the Doctor staggered forward to peer at the writing.


'Yes, Doctor.' River muttered darkly.

'They shpelt reading wrong!' The Doctor informed her, and promptly passed out. River caught him just in time, and he gave a deep snore in her arms as the sunglasses peeled from his face and landed with a clatter on the cobbles. River sighed, and stroked his slumbering cheek.

'Yeah.' She murmured softly. 'Ironic, isn't it?' She asked him weakly, but he only snored in reply. She dragged one arm across her shoulder and hoisted him upwards, holding him by the waist as she staggered to the TARDIS and shouldered open the door.


River felt a rush of horror in her mind as she entered, and sent the rumbling column a sympathetic look.

'I know…I know…' She sang under her breath as she managed to get the door closed. The Doctor grunted in his sleep as she dragged him up the ramp and plonked him into the seat. She breathed in relief as blood returned to her arms; she threw herself down next to him, shrugged off her coat and fanned herself with her hand.

'Five hours.' River informed the column sourly. 'Five hours I've been looking for him. I left him outside the sweet shop to go shopping…' She sent the carrier bags at the foot of the console a despondent sort of look. 'And he ends up in a pub.' She sent the sleeping Time Lord a fond look, and gently untied the tie from his head. He murmured to himself in his sleep as she hung the tie on the edge of the seat, and stretched out as she yawned.

'Well, I'm heading off to bed.' She informed the TARDIS, and then got up to leave…

When he said something very clearly in his sleep.

It was as if time itself had stopped to listen to the word that was known to so few in the universe, and that fact was a rarity itself. It was the word that was whispered in the Medusa Cascade, and was contained in the stars who would never speak it.

Space and time came to a standstill. Just for that one second. And River Song felt something rather humble wash over her. She had witnessed something that said, "Screw you, reality." And went beyond its realms.

It was just his name.

But it was so spectacularly important that River felt tears spring to her eyes. She let them fall, unashamed of her awe, as she came to sit beside him again. Her hand fondled with his hair tenderly as she leant forward to whisper in his ear.

'It's just between you and me.' She promised with all her heart and soul.

And, with a careful kiss upon his cheek, she quietly exited the console room, her head held high with the knowledge that she held a treasured secret for her own.

The Time Lord smiled in his sleep, and fell off the chair without loosing much dignity at all.

Meh. Bored at four in the morning. Professor Brandon reccommends that I should try going to sleep. I SAY THAT HE SPEAKS NONSENSE. ¬¬