Hey, guys!

I thought it was time for another Ouran fanfiction!

Please, please, PLEASE review! Even if it's one word!

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Ouran High School Host Club.

We're going to pretend that Hikaru and Tamaki have a crazy rivalry against each other over Haruhi, okay? OKAY!


Hikaru and Tamaki glared at each other.

They had both decided to visit Haruhi at her home.

On the same day.

…At the same time.

Haruhi felt the tension, "Um, guys…"

They both kept glaring at each other, while they said in unison, "Yes, Haruhi. What is it?"

Haruhi sighed, "I'm going to go make some tea. Please, try to calm down…"

As she walked out of the room, Tamaki smirked.

Hikaru snorted, "What's so funny, boss?"

Tamaki's smirk got larger.

"Oh, nothing, Hikaru! Just that your eyes are a lovely shade of—…now that I think about it, that's sort of creepy."

"Wow, boss." Hikaru grimaced.

Tamaki blushed, "W-well it's your entire fault anyway! Glaring at my beautiful violet eyes! MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL IN FRONT OF HARUHI!"

"You always do that, on your own."

Tamaki sounded angry, "That's it! I've tolerated your behavior long enough! The gloves are coming off—"

"You're not wearing gloves."


Tamaki tackled Hikaru and started girlishly slapping him, while looking away. Hikaru retaliated with his…girlish slapping.


Tamaki looked surprised, "Wait! Stop—"

"HAMMER TIME!" Hikaru cut in.

Tamaki looked at him oddly.


Tamaki got off Hikaru and sat on the floor, "Look!"

He pointed in a random direction.

There sat…!

…a bag.

"…a bag, boss?"

"Yes, a bag!"


"Haruhi's bag!"


"Haruhi's bag!"




Hikaru and Tamaki jumped at the bag. They each grabbed a side of it.

The epic game of tug of war only lasted a few seconds before…

The force broke the bag in two.

Hikaru looked horrified, "Holy situation!"

"N-no need to worry…I'm sure we can find a duplicate bag!" Tamaki replied, his voice shaking, "That way Haruhi will never know that we—Cosmo?"


Tamaki pointed to a magazine sitting on the floor, along with many other items that used to be in Haruhi's bag.

Hikaru picked it up, "An English magazine?"

Tamaki coughed, "Do not fear! I can speak English rather well! …except for the words 'Death' and 'Note'." *

Hikaru looked confused as he handed Tamaki the magazine.

After a while, Tamaki's face turned entirely red.

"Wh-what?!" he said, appalled.

"What is it?!" Hikaru whispered.

"It says…err…" Tamaki's face turned even redder as he coughed nervously, "One hundred and twenty five…sex positions."

"WHAT!" Hikaru yelled, his face turning red as well.

"Guys, what are you doing in there?" Haruhi said from the other room.

"N-nothing, Haruhi!" they said in unison.

Hikaru's face was still extremely red, "Why would Haruhi have a magazine like this boss?!" he whispered, "She doesn't seem like the type to—"

"D-don't say any more…" Tamaki replied as he set down the magazine, his eyes closed, "I think it would be best if we respected her privacy—oh, no."

"What…" Hikaru said, in a 'oh, god, what now?!' kind of voice.

Tamaki pointed to another item sitting on the floor.

"HOOKER BOOTS?!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"Are you guys okay—"

"YES!" Tamaki replied quickly, still very embarrassed and nervous.

"What do we do, boss?!" Hikaru whispered quickly, "What in gods name do we do?!" his voice was becoming much louder, "Haruhi is a—PUSH UP BRA! PUSH UP BRA!"

"IDIOT, PUT IT DOWN!" Tamaki yelled.

Haruhi, being tired of all this noise, walked in the room, "That's it! What's going on—"

Haruhi noticed the bag ripped in two, and the possessions on the floor. She also noticed Hikaru holding a bra.

She suddenly looked panicked.

"Guys! What are you doing?! That's my dad's bag—"

"Haruhi~!" came a voice from the other room.

"Oh, god." Haruhi put a hand to her forehead in angst.

"Haruhi~!" her dad entered the room, "What are you—"

Ranka-san noticed his bag torn in two, with his many possessions on the floor. He also noticed Hikaru holding his bra.

Ranka's eye brow twitched, "Why, I think I see TWO BUGS!"


They went flying.

PLEASE review!

I hope this was good! I love making Hikaru crazy! :)