Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly unfortunately...
"It's so stupid. How people freak out about their first kiss."
And he was totally freaking out. But she thought he was stupid anyways. She made that clear daily without even having a reason. The mileage she could get out of this...she'd never stop making fun of him.
"I hate you."
"I hate you too."
Yeah freaking right.
Sam was good with lies. Sam could kiss someone and feel absolutely nothing. And even if she did, Sam could pretend everything was back to normal. It took Freddie a lot more effort to maintain his level of normalcy. Especially since whenever she walked by his stomach had taken to imploding.
"Yo, Freddweeb. You've been avoiding me."
Freddie glanced up from his computer. Where had Carly gone? He always made sure she was around when Sam was there. It would be too strange to be alone with her again.
"No I haven't."
"You suck at lying."
"…No I haven't." He packed up quickly and attempted to exit the studio.
Sam rolled her eyes and blocked his way. "You're not running off until I get my answer. You barely even come to iCarly rehearsals anymore. Are you that afraid of me?" It wasn't a question of being afraid, but she didn't need to know that. At least she helped him think up an excuse.
"Yes." He thought fast. "Being around you hurts. I think I still have carpet burns from last Tuesday."
"Bull. Absolute bull. That never stopped you before."
"Well…" She kept giving him perfect opportunities. "I put up with it before to be around Carly. Back when I liked her."
Sam frowned. "So you don't…"
"So you're over…"
"Yeah." Freddie watched Sam mull it over. He didn't know if he hoped to achieve anything by telling her his Carly-obsession was gone. Hopefully not, because she didn't seem interested. He was completely confused by her and his feelings for her.
"Oh. And now you won't hang out with her because of me? You idiot."
"No. I still come over here all the time. I just wait until Lewbert stops screaming about 'little blonde hags destroying the building.'"
He couldn't read her expression, but he hoped she would leave him alone.
"Well. That's kinda harsh."
He shrugged. "Are we done here?"
Freddie couldn't tell if she was bothered or not. Did he want her to be?
"Whatever. CARLY! WHERE'D MY FRIED CHICKEN GO?!"
It didn't matter what Freddie did. That one night's memory played over and over again in his mind. Kissing her was the best thing that ever happened to him. How was he supposed to not think about it?
"Carly! Hey. What's up?" He hadn't even heard his mom let her in.
"Not much. What're you doing out here?" she asked, jerking her head at the fire escape.
He shrugged. "I don't know. I kind of like to people-watch from up here."
"Creepy," Carly joked.
Freddie grinned. "Why aren't you at home? Isn't Sam over?"
"Yeah. But I walked out for like thirty seconds to get our mail and when I came back she'd polished off everything in the fridge. And Spencer just got groceries this morning."
"It's Sam, what do you exp--"
"She's really upset. She doesn't want to admit it, but she is. Yeah, she eats, but you didn't see her just now...What did you say to her yesterday?"
"What makes it my fault?"
"Because she started acting like this after you left the studio last night. I didn't know you had it in you to upset Sam," she teased.
"Yeah. Neither did I."
Something about that tipped Carly off. His eyes lost focus, his voice got softer, and he was smiling absentmindedly. She knew all the signs. She'd seen it before on him, usually when he was referring to herself. "You like her."
"No! Not at all! Never. Sam? Yeah right."
"Just admit it!" She punched his arm lightly.
"I don't like her."
"Sure you don't. That's not the reason you suddenly got over me. Or why you blush whenever I mention her."
"I don't blush!"
"Yeah you do. Seriously, Freddie, I know you. You can't hide that from me. There's nothing wrong with liking Sam."
"It's just that..." Freddie scratched the back of his neck and looked away. "I'd hate...I'm sick of...I don't want to...to like another girl that doesn't like me back. The last three years sucked. Not that it was your fault, Carly. I get that I'm not your type or whatever, but that didn't make me feel any better whenever you went out with Josh and Kyle and Steven and whoever else...'
"I never dated a Kyle."
"I was just making names up. But anyways, I'm not going to sit here and pull another I-like-her-but-she-thinks-I'm-scum for the next three years."
Carly smiled at him. "Come on, Freddie, don't do that. I don't think you're scum and neither does Sam. Any girl would be lucky to have you. You're smart and sweet and--well, famous."
"A famous geek."
"So is Bill Gates! Look at him now, he's the richest guy in the world. Right?"
"The point is, whoever it is that you like, I don't think you should give up. And even if you want to give up on liking her, at least stay friends with her. You've got a really great relationship with Sam--whether you two want to admit it or not."
Freddie nodded. "Thanks, Carly."
He grinned and embraced her. There was a time when he would've given anything to be in this position. Why had things gotten so complicated since then? Obsessive crushes were by far the easiest types of infatuation to handle.
"So. 'Over Carly,' huh?"
Freddie shoved Carly away in a millesecond. "Sam!"
The blonde leaned against the fire escape window and gazed coolly at the two of them. "Freddie, you're such a nub. Carly's never going to like you."
"I know--I don't really--I mean, I'm okay with that, because I don't like her either."
"Of course you don't."
Sam raised both her hands in surrender. "Don't mind me. I was just checking where Carly was. You got any ham in your fridge, Carls?"
Carly opened her mouth to scold Sam for walking in, but she was too late. Freddie ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "You see what I mean, Carly? You see? You're all the same, you just don't care." He walked right past Sam. "Get off my fire escape. I'm going to bed."
The blonde watched him go with a smirk. "What's got his boxers in a twist?"
"I know, I know. 'Sam, this is all your fault!' 'I didn't do it!' 'It's all your fault!' 'I didn't do it!' We can skip that part. What didn't I do?"
Carly sighed. How was she supposed to get Sam to like Freddie when he wouldn't take that job on himself? "Nevermind. Are you sleeping over?"
"It's like seven. We can decide that later. Listen, I've got this great iCarly idea where we can put little suction cups on Gibby's hands and feet and stick him to the ceiling of the studio..."