Hello all – I find myself back in the parody business (after far too long a time) putting the musings of one of my all-time favorite villains to one of my favorite all-time Disney songs! Please sing this loudly. Feel free to act out the different roles.

I don't own DC-verse or Disney – enjoy!!!


STORYLINE: The Joker has decided to train all of Arkham's inmates (aka our favorite Batman villains) to be his personal henchmen. So basically, the setting is henchman boot camp with the Joker. No mercy, guys...

SONG: I'll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan


Joker:

Let's get down to business – to defeat the Bat!
Almost doesn't count here – so don't give me that.
You're the dumbest rouges I ever met
If you don't die before I'm through
Mister, I'll make a henchman of you

Popping pills at Arkham
Is no way to live!
You know I won't forget
And I won't forgive!
You're a worthless, brainless, loser group
But I know you see it too
That'll help make some henchman of you!

Crane:

Now I know what real fear is

Eddie:

This is harder than Sudoku!

Two-Face:

If this coin lands on heads I'll show that clown a fight

Penguin:

I think I'll stay in the nightclub biz

Ivy:

Harley, is he this mean to you?

Harley:

He's showing off just like he did with me last night!

Joker and Inmates:

As perilous as the Gotham Narrows
As fast-acting as fear toxin
In honor of our time at Arkham
We'll always embrace the lunatic within!

Joker:
Time is racing toward us till the day arrives
Once we steal a good car, I say Harley drives!
Minus a few nurses and orderlies
I'm proud to say you all pulled through
I've made sinister henchmen of you!

Joker and Inmates:

As perilous as the Gotham Narrows
As fast-acting as fear toxin
In honor of our time at Arkham
We'll always embrace the lunatic within!